The Questioned Existence
The Black Phoenix
- - -
DARA’S POV
I felt better the next day. I wanted to go to school but Jiyong didn’t allow me. I argued with him of course but deep inside, I was really giddy because he looked really concern. But then, he kissed me so sweetly that I just nodded helpless in the end. Life is so unfair!
So here I am, just lounging on the sofa, watching television. I sighed and reached for my phone. I quickly typed a message and send it to Jiyong. I missed him already. Oh wait, I’ll just ask Top to update me with Jiyong’s whereabouts. I mean, I know my pancake would never reply to my stalker messages. I paused for a moment upon remembering TOP. I slapped my forehead afterwards when I remembered I just left him a day or the other day. But he can’t really blame me, can he now? I totally forgot about him the moment I saw Jiyong. And I totally went helpless when he kissed me, in front of those students if I may add! Ah, I should apologize to TOP.
I typed a message for him: ‘Hey, sorry I just left the other day’
He surprised me when his response came faster than I expected. He said: ‘I was hurt, y’know’
I rolled my eyes. He’s obviously making fun of me again. I replied, ‘har har har’
‘Where were you anyway?’
‘Got sick. Skipped school. Feels better now but Ji didn’t allow me to go to school. Said I need to rest. Isn’t he sweet?’
‘Is he your doctor now?’
‘Bleh. Oh, can I ask a favor? Can u update me with Jiyong’s whereabouts? Hehe’
‘No way. Aren’t u scared that I might steal him away from u?’
‘My pancake’s straight unlike u. haha’
My phone suddenly started blinking. I straightened up and accepted the call. “Hey”
“Hey” Bom greeted back. “Belated happy birthday”
“Oh, thank you!”
“Sorry I just greeted you today. Jiyong ordered us not to call you on your birthday because I think he was planning something for you. Anyways, I already sent my gift by mail there, I’m not really sure when it’ll arrive”
“Omo! You shouldn’t have bothered but thanks a lot!”
“You’re welcome. Sorry if I can’t just get Youngbae or Seungri there to deliver the gift. Youngbae’s a bit busy with work while Seungri’s being. . . well, he’s being an asspoop”
“An asspoop?” I choked.
She laughed. “Sorry, I know you hate people cussing and stuff, so. . .”
“What’s going on with him, anyways?”
“He’s following Jiyong’s footsteps. Don’t mind him. How are you anyways? I’m not disturbing anything, am I?”
“I’m just lounging in the apartment. Jiyong didn’t allow me to go to school. I got sick, you see” I told her. Then, I launched into recounting what happened.
“How stupid of him” she snorted.
“Hahaha. But it was really sweet, though”
We chatted for a long time, catching up with each other. When the call finally ended, I felt that longing to see Jiyong again. I want to go to school and stalk him. But I don’t want to disobey him again so I decided to just do some cleaning and some laundry. I took Jiyong’s iPod. Not all songs of his favorite bands or groups and artists are that loud. There’s this one particular song of a female fronted band that I really liked and I can relate to the lyrics. I put the earphones on and put the song on repeat, humming along with it.
Glass hailed from the sky that night
I couldn’t hide to save my life
Standing drenched in open wounds
You took my hands and pulled me through
I want to give you everything
I’ll give you my all because you gave me,
You gave me your lips a gentle kiss
The medicine to cure my pain
Listen to all of this glass shatter
It pierced my ears and made them bleed
Now it sounds so beautiful ‘cause you’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
Right after doing the laundry and cleaning the apartment, I decided to bake cookies for my pancake. Ah, my pancake! I missed him so much. I smiled after a while, remembering how he acted so sweet on my birthday. I held my hand out and stared at ring on my finger. Aigoo! Eventhough I was disappointed and a bit hurt that the ring isn’t an engagement ring, I still feel giddy about it. Imagine, the forever rude shadow named Kwon Jiyong gave me a ring? And it isn’t n ordinary ring! It’s been handed down from generation to generation.
I took out the earphones and turned off the iPod after the cookies were done. I leisurely took time in taking a bath. I was humming the song under my breath again and savored the feel of the water on my skin. My mind drifted to Bom’s gift. Hmm, I wonder what it is. Aigoo! I can’t wait to see it already. I sighed as the memory of Victoria and the girls brushed my mind. I haven’t seen nor talked to them for what felt like centuries. I don’t feel so bad about them anymore. Truth be told, I actually missed them already, a lot actually. If only Sulli hadn’t. . . I sighed again. She’s one of the reasons why my friendship with the girls changed. It hurts to admit it but what that girl did to the girls only proved that our friendship wasn’t as strong as I first believed. She said the girls secretly envied me, most especially Victoria. I grimaced. Not so long time ago, Victoria and Luna got interested with Jiyong. I shook my head. Come to think of it, even Bom and Sulli fell into Jiyong’s charms. But I won! Haha. I defeated them all! Out of nowhere, the memory of Victoria and Jiyong in bed popped into my head alongside Bom and my pancake’s kissing scene in front of me. . . but the most brutal of all was that with Sulli. Grr, I don’t even have the words to describe that. . . that. . . Gah! I don’t want to remember that anymore! But then, the more you wanted to forget, the more the memory becomes vivid. Aish!
I redirected my thoughts to Krystal. Sulli said she was a tough one. The thing is, Krystal’s the cousin of my ex-boyfriend who willingly sacrificed his life to bring me back from the dead. I can’t face Krystal because of it. Yes, I died a long time ago. I died in the hands of my present boyfriend, Kwon Jiyong. Kim Jaejoong just got to be the hero that day. A lump rose to my throat, making me choke. I haven’t told Jiyong about the guilt that seemed to cling onto my mind. I’ve seen and felt how that particular part of our past still haunts him. He’d always go all stiff and tensed. Everytime that particular past is brought to the surface, I can always see the disturbing doubt, fear and self-disgust in his eyes. I didn’t like that so we never talked about it. At first, I didn’t really know why he’s feeling that way. But I know what he doubts about just some time ago. He thought I was just staying beside him because he’s all I’ve got. He just finds it impossible for me to forgive him after all the things he said he has done. Well, that’s what he said. Everyday, I try to say and show him how much I love him to erase that doubt from his mind. I’m not really sure if I’m doing progress. As for the fear, I still haven’t figured that out. What’s he so afraid of? I mean, it’s in the past already. For the self-disgust, well, it’s quite obvious why he feels that way.
I shook my head. Aish! These are unhealthy thoughts. I shouldn’t be thinking of them. I forcibly redirected my thoughts to Jiyong. He’s slowly changing, it’s pretty obvious too. But I think he’s subconsciously or maybe unconsciously resisting and fighting it. Maybe that’s why he’s keeping secrets from me. If I knew EVERYTHING about him; if I knew every thought or every emotion or if I knew all his secrets, that would leave him vulnerable to me. And since he still doubted about the forgiveness thing, he doesn’t want to risk it. Oh well, that’s just my conclusion. There’s no sureness if I’m right or wrong. Maybe that’s just the way he is.
I wrapped myself with a towel after I was done. I stepped out of the bathroom and went to the closet. My eyes travelled to Jiyong’s briefs. Aigoo! I reached out and took one black brief from the neat pile. I giggled as I brought the little garment up to my nose. I sniffed it and giggled louder. Aigoo, aigoo! I suddenly feel warm – no, I feel so hot that I had the urge to go back to the bathroom and take a shower again. I closed my eyes and sniffed his brief again. I imagined the feel of his lips on mine. Heat erupted inside me, the linings of my veins and arteries. Jiyong’s lips. . .gah! His lips are the softest and sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. Sweeter than a candy and softer than a marshmallow! Yeah, try getting a marshmallow then pressed it on your lips. That’s exactly how his lips felt like except the texture. Marshmallows are soft but they aren’t smooth. Jiyong’s mouth is smooth. Hmm, smoother than silk, I think.
A naughty thought then brushed my mind.
With a giggle, I pulled a matching floral printed blue underwear and putt hem on. I sprayed some perfume and went to hand the towel on the rack. Then, I proceeded to blow-drying my hair. I sprayed some perfume on again and went besides the window to watch out for his arrival. It’s already late afternoon. He should be home any time now.
After a few minutes, I saw a hooded person from afar. My heart skipped a beat. I went to spray some perfume on AGAIN and climbed to bed, lying down on my stomach with only my matching bra and . I didn’t bother pulling the covers on me because this is exactly how I wanted it to be – all exposed for my pancake to devour. Hahahaha. I closed my eyes and tried to even out my breathing. I have to appear like I’m sleeping because for sure, he’ll laugh at me when he realized I’m trying to seduce him or he might scold me for wearing something like this when I just came from a sickness. I’m confident he’ll be seduced. I’ve got a y back, after all. Hahaha.
Later, I heard the door opened and closed. Okay, I need to be an effective actress here. I strained my ears for his footsteps, silently grateful that he’s not being careful. Tsk, when he’s being stealthy, he can really walk without making any sounds. But I can hear the soft taps of his shoes on the floor. I can sense that he’s now in the bedroom. But why didn’t I hear nay gasp of surprise? I heard him walking here and there. Wait a minute, did he just clicked his tongue? What does that mean? Gah! I wonder what he’s doing. I’m so tempted to look but I stopped myself. Then, I felt him took a seat at the edge of the bed beside me. Aigoo, this is it!
Jiyong gathered my hair to one side then touched my forehead. He must be checking if I’m really okay now. Aww, isn’t he just sweet? He chuckled then. Hmm, why is that? Then, I felt his warm breath on my nape. It’s really hard to pretend now. It’s draining all of my energy! When he started showering my spine with tiny kisses, I wasn’t able to stop myself from shivering.
“I know you’re awake so stop pretending otherwise” he said.
Aigoo! I’m busted. I heaved a sigh and slowly my back. “Aren’t you even seduced?”
He laughed and leaned down, our faces only a few inches apart. “Oh, so you’re seducing me?” he asked in amusement, his hand caressing my bare waist.
I pouted. “You’re not seduced!”
He gave me a quick peck on the lips. I tried to chase for his lips but he evaded me. “You’re really okay now, huh?”
“How come I can’t seduce you?”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re being ridiculous again”
I sighed heavily. “I missed you, you know and I love you” I told him. “But tell me, aren’t you really seduced AT ALL? Even a tiny bit? Don’t you find me y?”
He laughed again. He kissed me longer this time. My arms immediately went around his neck while I savored the feel and taste of him. He pulled back and gazed down at me with a dark gleam in his eyes. He then rested his forefinger on my lips. I smiled. Then, his forefinger slowly went down to my chin, to my throat and stopped in between my s where the front clasp of my bra was located. “Should I. . . unhook this?” he whispered huskily.
I nodded eagerly. He laughed again but he didn’t pursue unclasping my bra. “Ya!” I protested.
“You still need to rest”
“I’m not sick anymore!” I told him wildly. “I even cleaned the apartment, washed our clothes and baked you some cookies”
“Cookies?” he echoed. “Oh, where did you put them?”
“They’re in the container in the – ya! Where are you going?”
“Eat some cookies. I’m hungry”
You rather have some cookies than me? But. . . but. . . .Jiyong!” I whined. But he was already out of the bedroom. I climbed out of bed, stomping childishly. I scowled upon seeing him leisurely sitting on the high stool, munching on some cookies I baked. I marched towards him, planning to take all the cookies out of his reach. But he suddenly pulled me down on his lap. His arms circled around me and he planted a soft kiss on my shoulder.
“These cookies taste good” he praised.
“I taste better” I grimaced.
He chuckled. “I might give you a reward for it” he said.
I’m suddenly in a good mood. “Really? What reward?”
“Hmm” he thoughtfully mumbled. “I’m going to take a shower after eating all of these. Want to join me?”
I grinned. “Join you in taking a bath?”
- - -
“You’ve got stubbles” I informed him as I lay contentedly in bed and in his arms.
“I might do some shaving tomorrow”
“I actually find them cute. They tickle, you know”
“Is that so?” he asked then propped himself in one elbow. I wasn’t able to retort an answer because the ringing of my phone didn’t allow me to. “Your phone’s ringing” he said.
“Let’s ignore it”
TOP’S POV
I tapped my foot impatiently. Why the hell is she not answering? I pressed the end button and dialed her number again. The other line rang for a long time before it was answered. “Ya!” an annoyed Dara answered. “I’ll call you back late- aigoo! Jiyong, that tickles! Hihihihihihi!”
I held the phone away from my ear and looked down at it with a frown. I put the phone back to my ear. My body tensed upon hearing some. . . things on the other line. I quickly pressed the end button. Oh crap, I’ll just call her later. Or maybe tomorrow.
I heard some sounds behind me. I turned around and saw Daesung closing the bedroom door of the old woman. “How is she?” I asked.
“She’s already sleeping” he answered. “This can’t last, TOP”
“I know” I harshly answered.
“The headache’s getting worst everyday” he continued. “I’m getting worried of leaving her alone here. There’s no consistency in time of the attacks. And her eyes are becoming inconsistent. Sometimes she can see us, sometimes she can’t”
“But you know she WANTS us to go to that wretched school” I gritted.
“We need to find the black phoenix”
“I know” I gritted again. “I’ve been frequently visiting the underground library but I’m still not getting anything”
Silence stretched between us.
“Do you really think IT exists?” Daesung then asked.
“She seemed to believe it does” I answered.
“If it does, then why aren’t there any records of its existence? The creature’s not even in any shadow history books nor is it discuss in our shadow classes. There’s no proof of it or whatsoever”
I asked those questions myself a lot of times before. It frustrates me that up until now, I haven’t found any answers yet.
Comments