The Unconscious Thoughts

*banner by sweetmafi

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She shut her eyes tightly. No, she can’t understand what’s happening to her. She doesn’t even want to understand what’s happening to her in the first place. After a moment, she opened her eyes again and tried to put all of her attention to the class. But the harder she tries to concentrate, the harder it was for her to forget what happened last night. She shut her eyes tightly again, forcing herself to forget it. But it’s as if it’s tattooed on her mind. The moment she arrived home after the TOP incident, she actually cried. She cried and cried until she fell asleep on the sofa.

A heavy sigh escaped from her. As much as she wanted to think that everything she heard from TOP was a joke, she can’t. There was something different with him when he said those things. She bit her lower lip as she tried to understand what’s going on but then, her phone suddenly vibrated, making her jump a little. Discreetly, she took her phone out and checked her phone. There was a message from Jiyong. She frowned at this. He rarely sends her message so it was really surprising and a bit. . . disturbing. But as she opened and read the message, a heavy feeling then weighed her heart as she suddenly felt a surge of unknown guilt.

The message said: I adore you.

She shook her head, as if it would shook away the unknown guilt she’s feeling. She looked outside of the room and a flash of TOP’s image crossed her mind. She shook her head again and looked forward.

You were just surprised with his confession, Dara, she thought. You’re just feeling guilty because you don’t want to hurt TOP because he’s your. . . friend.

She nodded to herself. That’s right. Yes, that’s the reason.

With that thought in mind, she exhaled and pulled up a smile.

- - -

Jiyong was waiting for her outside the room just like he said in time for lunch. She grinned at him and held hands with him as they went to the cafeteria. The moment they stepped in there, her eyes immediately scanned the place. She caught sight of Daesung with Minzy and TOP. She waved at Dae and was about to head to their table when Jiyong held her back. She glanced back at him curiously.

“I don’t think it’ll be a good idea for me to be in the same table with your friends, Dara,” he said. “Especially with TOP.”

She was about to protest but she changed her mind. She just smiled at him and gave him a nonchalant shrug. He then led her to a different table and left her there while he went to get food. Her phone vibrated again. She took it out and was greeted by a message from TOP. Avoiding me?

She hesitated for a moment but then, she decided to respond. No, she replied. Jiyong just thought it wouldn’t be ideal for him to be in the same table with you.

Another message came: You told him what happened?

She was quick to respond to the recent message. Nothing happened, TOP.

Oh really? Do you want me to remind you?

Nothing happened, TOP, she replied again.

I think I know why you’re boyfriend said it wouldn’t be ideal for him to be in the same table with me.

She sighed. It’s quite obvious, isn’t it? You two always argue since you always egg him on.

No, that’s not it, he said.

She sent, Then what is?

Jiyong then returned with a tray of varieties of food. “Wow, that’s a lot,” she said.

“I kept on forgetting that I’m trying to get you fat,” he smirked.

“Ya!” she whined.

He chuckled. “You’re so adorable.”

She blushed at the same time a fresh wave of guilt hit her again. “I love you more,” she whispered.

He smiled serenely. “Let’s eat!” he announced all of the sudden.

As they ate lunch, Jiyong bombarded her with different sort of questions. “What’s with all of these questions?” she asked.

“Is it wrong to ask questions now?”

“Well, no. . .” she said. “But for you, it’s unusual.”

“You’re being paranoid, Dara. I’m just asking questions.”

“I’m not being paranoid!” she whined. “I’m just saying that it’s out of character, you know.”

He chuckled. “You and your below-sea-level intellect never fail to amuse me.”

“Ya!” she protested. “I’m not dumb!”

“I know you’re not. I’m merely saying that you’re stupid.”

“Ya!” she whined childishly again.

“That’s actually one of the reasons why you’re so adorable.”

She was about to open but then, no words came out. She blushed deeply and looked down at their intertwined hands. “Aigoo!” she whispered.

He chuckled. “So tell me, when you were a child, where’s your dream living place?”

She shrugged. “Anywhere,” she answered. “As long as I’m with you, I can live anywhere.”

“Even if I live in the forest?” he asked. “I’m a shadow, and being a shadow makes me a crow, too. I can live in branches or in the trees or – what?”

She had dropped down as she stared blankly at her. “Was that supposed to be a joke?”

He grimaced. “It’s obviously not funny,” he darkly said.

There was a moment of silence and then, Dara laughed out loud. “Aigoo! Hahahahahahaha! I c-can’t believe. . . hahahaha. . . you’re. . . haha. . . cracking a joke now. And you failed! Hahahahaha!”

“If what’s you’re saying is true, then why are you laughing your ing out?”

“Ya! Hahahaha, no. . . s-swearing! Aigoo. Hahaha!”

“You can laugh at my failed joke all you want,” he said. “I don’t really mind as long as I can see you happy and hear you laughing.”

That shut her up. “Pancake. . .”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t go on teary-eye on me.”

“Pancake. . .”

He rolled his eyes again. “Anyways, since I’ve already established my dream living place, why don’t you tell me yours?”

“I told you, anywhere’s find with me, as long as I’m with you.”

“There must be something specific on your mind,” he insisted.

“Well,” she paused, thinking. “I would want to live a bit far from the city, as much as possible, I want to live near a beach or something. I want to have a vast garden so my children could play around there, chasing each other. Then, we could also have picnics there. . . .”

And before she even knew it, she was already describing every detail of her dream home. She was so immersed on her own thoughts that she failed to notice Jiyong’s unusual attentiveness. She went on and on with no interruption from him. He can be seen frowning once, there were even instances that he seemed amused with the details of her dream home but most of the times, he looked focused. And when she was done talking, Jiyong noticed that the dreamy look on her face lingered on.

“You kept on mentioning children,” he said. “How many children do plan to have?” he jokingly asked and reached out for a glass of water.

“A dozen,” she answered brightly, making him spill his drink.

“A what?!” he coughed.

“I actually dreamed of having more than a dozen kids,” she said, frowning a little as she tried to remember the exact number. “But I know that won’t happen. I mean, you’re not really that type of person, right? So, it’s okay,” she finished, beaming at him.

Jiyong went silent. His mind was already working ahead of him, planning things out.

“So, where are you planning to go to college?” she asked. “You’re planning to be architecture, right?”

“I’m still thinking about it,” he said.

“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s still early to think about things like that, anyways. You still have months to think about it.”

“What do you mean with I still have months to think about it? You already have plans on your own, then?”

She rolled his eyes. “Of course I do!” she said. “I’ll be your ever supportive girlfriend. I’ll cook for you and prepare everything you need and –”

“What about your plans for college?”

“You know I don’t have plans for college and I don’t have enough money for that.”

“I already told you, I’ll shoulder the expenses for –”

She pouted. “But that would make both of us busy and if we’re busy, that means, we won’t be seeing much of each other. I don’t like that.”

He sighed. “Don’t be pathetic, Dara,” he said.

She pouted even more.

He sighed again then his head swooped down to claim her lips. “I told you not to pout in front of me,” he said a while later.

“I was actually hoping you’ll kiss me that’s why I did that,” she said, grinning.

Jiyong then laughed out loud.

At a different part of the cafeteria, a head snapped up upon hearing a familiar laughter. “She was right,” she said. “She’s the only one who could make him laugh like that.”

“Stop torturing yourself, Sohee.”

“I’m not torturing myself,” she said. “I’m just stating a fact.”

“Good,” Seungri said. “’Coz the Sohee that I came to know is a not a weakling.”

She snorted. “Are you saying that just because it’s the right thing to say or you’re just trying to make a move on me?”

“You choose,” he said.

She chuckled. “It’s the first one, then.”

“What made you say that?” he asked.

She chuckled again and shook her head. “Well, first, you’re a shadow. Second, you’re in love with Chaerin.”

“What’s with me being a shadow got to do with this?”

She looked at him. “We both know what they say about shadows, Seungri. Shadows can only love one person. You can flirt all you want, play with other girls, sleep with them but at the end of the day, there’s only one person who’ll own your heart. Although majority of the shadow population usually don’t fall in love since they’re too consumed with the evil part of their blood.”

“That’s not a fact, Sohee and you know that. Things like that are s. People change, things change and feelings change.”

“So you’re saying?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Maybe what I’m trying to say is that my feelings have changed.”

She raised her brows. “Maybe you’re just trying to convince yourself to forget her,” she said. Seungri didn’t say anything. Sohee then sighed. “Bom told me that you were actually watching Chaerin from afar and –”

“She’s happy with her new friends now,” he cut off. “Let’s just leave her alone and let her be.”

“Is that what you really want to do? Leave her alone and let her be?”

Seungri stared at her for a moment then looked away. “I’m starting to like a different girl,” he confessed.

“Oh really?” Sohee excitedly said. “Who? Do I know her? Maybe I could –”

The rest of her words were drowned as Seungri kissed her. It all happened so fast that when Seungri pulled away, Sohee remained still. “You,” he whispered.

- - -

Dara was just a few steps away from the restroom when she saw TOP. She instantly panicked upon seeing that he’s heading towards her. She wasn’t sure what to do. Should she greet him? Should she run away? Should she ignore him?

She was too confused that she remained on her spot. When he was just three steps away, that’s when her mind went into full panic mode. She hurriedly turned away and tried to run away from him but he caught her arm and spun her around.

“So you’re really avoiding me,” he said.

“No,” she said.

“Liar,” he hissed.

“I was just planning to go to the restroom but then, I realized that I. . . I’ve been there already and that I’m not really feeling any urge to pee.”

“You’re not really a good liar, Dara. You’re not a shadow,” he said.

She can’t understand why her heart was beating so hard against her chest. “W-what do you want?” she asked.

He let go of her arm. “There’s a celebration this weekend,” he said. “Dae and Minzy asked to me to invite you –”

“I can’t,” she answered at once.

“You’re avoiding me, aren’t you?” he probed on. “Why, is it because of what happened last night?”

“Nothing happened!”

“Do you want me to re-enact it for you?”

Her eyes widened in fear. “That. . . that was nothing!”

He raised his brows. “You call our kiss nothing?”

“It wasn’t a kiss! I didn’t kiss you back!”

“You didn’t?” he softly asked. “Maybe you didn’t but you didn’t push me away, either. But I know you were close to responding to me, Dara.”

“No, I wasn’t!” she denied.

“If you’ll keep on denying it, I can kiss you right here, right now and prove to you that I’m right.”

“I hate you!”

“No, you don’t,” he said.

“You’re supposed to be my friend!” she exclaimed.

“If you’re really my friend, you’ll attend to my birthday celebration then?”

“Y-your birthday celebration?” she breathlessly asked.

“Yes,” he answered. “Not because I’m a bastard doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate a false birthday already, right?”

She frowned. “False birthday?”

He sighed patiently. “This weekend, I’m going to celebrate the day that I was found by the old lady in the trash bag.”

T-TOP, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that. . .”

“Don’t mind it,” he interrupted. “I’ll go ahead. I’ll be expecting you this weekend.”

“Wait, I –”

“If you won’t come, I’ll pick you up from your place.”

“That’s not fair! I have the right to say no!”

“In this case, I’m afraid you don’t have that right,” he said. “And oh, don’t being your boyfriend, okay?”

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Lame chappie again guys, sorry!

Anyways, who's missing CL or ririn? who wants CL back in the story?? kekeke

Heeri (Sohee- Seungri) anyone?

And oh, since most of you are asking if Dara's preggy, I'm sorry but she's not. . . .

And. . . . and . . . . and. . . . new banners for TBP!!!! Yay!!! It's been a while since I received one!! kekekekeke..me is so happy, All thanks to T3kei (via twitter)