I challenge everyone of my silent readers to leave a comment at the end of this update :D You can't keep quiet forever!

Also NO I promise. It's just swearing and stuff..... -_-  (just in case you were wondering why it was rated....)

Yongguk rubbed the towel against his hair. His shower had been everything but calming, and he only felt more agitated by the water pelting onto his skin. He stared deep into his own eyes. ‘Eyes are the windows to soul’ – he loathed the saying with a passion. He didn’t want to see that far, he wanted to be numb and not know the torture of his mind. He pulled on his face, rubbing it with palms to try and rid himself of his tension. His body threatened to spontaneously combust with the heat of the betrayal that slithered through his veins. Yongguk’s hands had stayed tightly wrapped into fists since early that morning. It was hard to keep them that way since he just wanted to destroy everything he saw, especially himself. Yongguk just hoped that he wouldn’t come by, otherwise a trip to the hospital would be inevitable.

He felt disgusting despite being clean, he could even think his name without bile rising in his throat. When the slow, muffled beats of his heart whispered into his ears he was taken aback. It had stopped after every positive thing he’d ever felt or could have felt disappeared and was replaced with a searing pain that Yongguk would have liked to be in Hell opposed the twisted reality that haunted him.

Yongguk's head snapped in the direction of the door when a hesitant knock echoed through the house. He stepped gingerly through the short halls until he reached the front door. Yongguk's heart dropped s thousand feet when he opened it and Daehyun fell onto his knees before him.

"I-I'm sorry! I...I didn't..." Yongguk was frozen for what felt like an eternity until he stepped back, staring daggers at the hunched and sobbing man on the floor. It was just like the first time, but worse, there should never have been something to compare that moment in the first place. When Yongguk found his voice it was harsher than he expected but being hurt twice, the same way, was not an expectation either.

He breathed in, trying to calm himself and closed his eyes for a second. "Seriously?” He searched Daehyun’s gaze but the only remorse or apology was coming from his lips. “You didn't what? Didn't mean it?" Daehyun nodded feverishly and Yongguk felt fire spread into his limbs and they tingled with it. His jaw clenched and any kind of word to describe his pain would have been an understatement. "Why then!? Why did you do it again?!"

Daehyun took a deep breath, swallowing around his dry sobs. "After...after the first time...you were cold. You stopped loving me."

"I did nothing but love you!" A ferocity rose in Yongguk's voice that made Daehyun cower. He had told himself he wouldn’t yell but finally being faced with the situation, it was the only way he could speak.

Daehyun stood from the floor, taking a step closer to Yongguk who only backed away. "I could see how you hated me for what I did. You didn't hold me, you didn't kiss me and you didn't touch me the way you used to." Daehyun's eyes were so full of spite and hurt that it made the elder want to puke.

Yongguk stumbled and roared, grabbing fistfuls of his blonde hair and almost pulling it all out. His muscles and veins popped as he tensed his whole body against his anger. He doubled over, crouching as if it to squish the hurt out of him. He honestly preferred the physical pain over what Daehyun was causing him. Yongguk could feel his lids straining to contain the tears that were so desperately trying to leave him. When he felt he could, Yongguk stood up, his entire body trembling as he forced his legs to carry him across the room. He stopped just before Daehyun, towering over him and watching the man contract in fear.

"Was it him again?" Yongguk pulled himself together long enough to ask the question calmly. Daehyun whimpered quietly but nodded, lowering his head to get away from Yongguk’s intense stare. "Did you beg?"

"What?"

"Did you beg him to take you back? Like you did with me?" Daehyun's mouth opened and closed like a fish. "Cause you'll have to do a lot more than that for me to even consider you human, you heartless ." He spat on the floor and took a step away. Yongguk knew by now that he'd lost himself. He'd been kind, loving and compassionate but Daehyun brought out the worst in him. The devil that nestled itself inside of every person seemed to be particularly strong inside him and had discovered its way to get out.

"Was he better than me?" Daehyun finally looked up at him, meeting Yongguk's deadly stare with a snide frown of his own.

"He was different." The emphasis Daehyun used was borderline disgusting and Yongguk knew exactly what he meant.

"You're such a sick Daehyun!"

"I'm the sick ?! You're the one telling me to ing beg like a dog!" Daehyun's eyes were malicious and Yongguk could feel Daehyun’s own anger eating at him like acid. This kid had no right to be angry. Yongguk had loved him and he was the one to break the entire world in two. He’d destroyed them, he’d brought them into this mess.

Yongguk's lips pressed into a thin line as he bit back his words. Although he wanted to, he knew he could stay calm if he didn't just blurt out everything he felt. He could see that Daehyun wanted to speak again but was too frightened as to what the elder's reaction might be.

"I wanted someone to have fun with but I couldn't bear the idea of coming home to be alone." Daehyun all but whispered those words as the elder was beginning to hyperventilate and he grabbed onto his skull, trying to banish his agony. Daehyun’s pained expression told Yongguk that he expected violence. Yongguk wasn't sure yet if he would deliver on that expectation or not.

"I love you Gukkie but-"

"SHUT UP!” His nails dug into his scalp as he tried to claw out the hideous thoughts of Daehyun with another man. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!" He took several deep but jagged breaths before he could continue. Yongguk could barely hear himself think over his own heartbeat.

Daehyun’s skin was smooth and soft under Yongguk’s fingers. It was milky and beautiful in the warm sunlight as Yongguk ran his fingertips along Daehyun’s arms from behind him, leaving trails of goose bumps as he went. Yongguk loved the way he could touch so much of Daehyun but still not get enough. His chest pressed against the other’s back, their legs stretching out alongside each other as Daehyun sat between Yongguk’s. The younger chuckled and Yongguk’s heart sung at the sound of it. He buried his face in Daehyun’s neck, inhaling the man’s cologne that was like heaven to Yongguk’s nostrils as the younger leant back and took a deep breath. “Doesn’t it smell amazing Gukkie?”

He let out a short laugh. “Yes, you do.” Daehyun shook his head but Yongguk knew he was smiling.

“Pabo, I meant the flowers. It was a good idea to come to the park today.” He turned slightly to look at Yongguk and smiled as warm as the sunshine. Yongguk couldn’t hold on any longer and pressed his lips against Daehyun’s full pink ones. They moulded perfectly against his and Yongguk pulled back on Daehyun’s head to deepen their already passionate kiss. When they broke apart, Daehyun’s laboured laugh jingled through the air again, making Yongguk feel like the Grinch as his heart grew two sizes.

“GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY ING HEAD!” He hated that Daehyun, the deceitful one, the one who smiled like everything was perfect and he hated the Yongguk that believed it all. Screaming at memories didn’t get Yongguk any closer to some sense of calm and he knew it wouldn’t. He was starting to drown in all the happy thoughts he could still remember but it was the pain of those few moments that were really pulling him under. He clutched his heart as the tears fell across his cheeks, even the physical pain of being cheated on was too much for him to handle.

He sobbed out a few incoherent words before he stared at Daehyun who could see every ounce of pain the older man felt in that moment and would feel long after he left.

“I should never have let you come back here.” His voice was just above a growl and Yongguk scrunched up his face, pushing his palms hard against his features in an attempt to control his rage. It wasn’t working very well. Yongguk spoke with such hatred that Daehyun actually scampered away from him. “ you Jung Daehyun!”

“You won’t, remember?! If you did, do you think I would’ve done it twice!?” He shouted from the corner of the room, curling into himself and trying to get away from the inescapable moment. Yongguk’s mind was so twisted that he couldn’t tell if he enjoyed seeing Daehyun so frightened or if he wanted to just hold him and tell him he was forgiven.

Every possible emotion Yongguk could possibly feel was pumping hard and fast through his body and every muscle tensed with the ice that was now filling his veins.

“You’re not who I fell in love with.” Daehyun was shaking his head subtly but it made Yongguk roar again, ending in a choked breathy sob. He moved and crouched in front of Daehyun, meeting his freakishly worried gaze with his own insanely calm eyes.

“I’ll show you just who you fell in love with, I’ll show you how you killed him.” Yongguk guessed Daehyun was about to faint and he pulled roughly on the younger man’s collar and yanked him up off the floor. “I’ll show you who I really am. Just you wait and see.” Yongguk believed that eyes were the windows to the soul because he could see how Daehyun’s was burning up, how frightened he was and how no matter what Yongguk said to him, Daehyun was going to be the same filthy bastard he’d been the entire time.

Yongguk’s arm strained a little under the weight of a full grown 20 year old but Daehyun still struggled to keep his toes on the ground. “You brought this on yourself, Jung Daehyun, you brought out the devil.” He chucked the boy out the door and he landed on his . “And don’t ever think for a second that I’ll forget.” The door shut with a bang and Yongguk stomped through his house to his bedroom. They had never moved in together but Daehyun’s stuff still littered the few rooms. He through the things he could find out of every spot and space of the house until it was all in a pile in the lounge room. He peeked out through his curtains to see Daehyun and his piece of lover on the curb. Daehyun was distressed and frantic and the other guy looked like he was trying to calm him down.

Yongguk picked up the belongings and patted his pocket, feeling the small lump and smirking. “Jung Daehyun!” He called as he stepped out of the house, dropping the stuff onto the small front lawn.

“My stuff!” Yongguk could see that the pile was Daehyun’s reason to be frantic earlier. The elder held up a hand to both the men that charged forward and they stopped. He pulled out the box of matches from his pocket and picked up a half empty bottle of citronella oil off the porch. He poured the last of its contents over the clothing and flicked a lit match onto the pile.

“WHAT THE IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Daehyun called through the quickly growing flames and he looked as insane as Yongguk felt.

“YOU ARE!” Yongguk walked back inside his house and dead bolted the door shut. He breathed deeply for the billionth time that day as he pressed his back to the door and slid down. He let his head fall onto his arms across his knees as he let every last drop of pain leave his body through his eyes.

“Promise me something?” Yongguk nodded, closing his eyes as he laid his head on Daehyun’s chest, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. “You believe in forever right?” Yongguk’s interest peaked and he looked at Daehyun but his eyes were closed. “Let’s be together for as long as forever lasts.” Yongguk kissed the boy’s collarbones softly before he spoke against the pale skin.

“Promise.”

The end killed me! Probably since I was listening to the song while I wrote. It always makes emotional lol

Also Yongguk is a crazy D: but I just want to cuddle him :3

Hope you like it! (If you do you'll comment and vote and subscribe.......please?)

P.S 7 down, 2 to go ^^