Chapter 15


Taeyeon’s POV

When I got back home from Sunny’s café, Tiffany was lying on the couch listening to the news.

“Hey Taeyeon! Had a nice time?” she asked upon hearing me come in.

“Busy as usual. Sunny and I could hardly keep up with the orders.” I flopped down on the sofa opposite her, tired and weak to the bones from having to run around all day. “What about you?”

“It was ok.” Tiffany said it like spending the whole day with Jessica was no big deal to her, but her grin told me otherwise. My conversation with Jessica came back to me and I must have turned green with all the jealousy inside me.

“So what did you guys do?”

“Nothing much. You know, sing, talk, just like hanging out. Jessi’s amazing at singing. Her voice is just,” Tiffany’s cheeks turned pinker than usual and she was grinning like a love struck teenager (which she probably is), “it’s just angelic.”

My heart hurts when I saw her. The mere idea that Jessica and Tiffany might end up together makes me want to jump off a cliff. I still love Jessica too much.

“Do you by chance, like Jessica?” I hesitantly asked although I dreaded to hear the answer.

Tiffany’s cheeks even grew redder. She sat up straight and fiddled with her shorts. Then she stood up and walked over to where her painting was leaning against the wall. She brought it over and handed it to me.

“What is it?”

“Look at it.”

I took off the cloth covering and stared at the painting. The first thing that caught my eye was the red heart shape in the middle. The top half of the canvas was painted blue and the bottom half was pink. The pink looked as if it was covering up the blue. The white and yellow swirls and random squiggles made it look amazingly complete. Ice and love, Jessica and Tiffany.

“What is this supposed to mean?”

“The painting of the person I love.”

“Who?” My heart sunk deep down into my stomach. I knew the answer already even though my cousin still has not even uttered a word.

“Taeyeon, I have never been in love before so I am not sure what it feels like…” she started, “But when I’m with Jessi, I feel comfortable. I trust her completely since the first time I met her. Not only that but there are also some weird feelings when I am around her, like there are things crawling around in my stomach. I cannot think straight and she’s the one in my mind most of the time. Although I was just with her about 10 minutes ago, I already miss her. Is this what you call being in ‘love’?”

I didn’t know how to answer her, actually I do, I know that my cousin has fallen in love with Jessica, the very Jessica that I so terribly love.
“Taeyeon I’m sorry.”

I looked up at her surprised. “W-what? Why?”

“I mean, if you st-still love Jessica, then I can.. back off?” she sounded unsure but concerned. She made me feel guilty that I am so selfishly not wanting to let go of Jessica when she is so selfless and putting my happiness before hers. 

Should I just give up on Jessica? Would I rather let them be happily together or selfishly break them apart? I should be happy that they love each other, but it hurts too much. I’m not ready to give up on Jessica yet. This is all too much for me. 

”I’m going to bed, I’m tired.” I told Tiffany and went to my room.

~~

Tiffany’s POV

I was confused. I didn’t know what to do. I love Jessica and I want to accept her love. But I’m pretty sure that Taeyeon still loves her too, a lot. I should have never fallen for her, but it’s now too late to stop my feelings. I needed someone to talk to, to discuss, but who could I go to? Taeyeon and Jessica are the only ones I have, and there is no way I can go talk to them. 

Yuri.. A voice in my head said. I took out my phone to call her and she told me that she would come over. I went out to the front porch to wait for her. I sat on the swing and thought about what to say.

“Hey Fany-ah!” Yuri arrived after a while. “Did something happen?”

“I just needed someone to talk to.” I smiled at her while she sat down on the swing beside me.

“Why not talk to Taeyeon or Jessica?” She asked as they are the ones I would usually choose to talk to.

“Well, I can’t because it’s about them.”

“Oh… I think I know.” Yuri was probably smiling, like she always is. “You like Jessica don’t you?”

“Yeah.” I admitted while blood rushed up to my cheeks.

“Don’t worry. Taeyeon will get over Jessica sooner or later. It’s quite obvious that Jessica doesn’t like her anymore. She loves you. She has already been through a lot. She even said she will never fall in love again, but that was before she met you If you like Jessica too, then just date the poor girl already.” Yuri told me.

“But I feel bad for Taeyeon.”

“That girl has to learn to move on. She shouldn’t dwell in the past much longer, especially if the other person has moved on. This might finally knock some sense into her big head. Seriously Tiffany, just go for it.”

“Why are you so eager for Jessica and me to get together?” I asked Yuri curiously.

“I-I’m not!” Yuri quickly denied. “I just want Je-y-you guys to be happy. This is the best for everyone.”

Was she about to say Jessica? Anyway I think Yuri is right. “Thank you Yuri. I knew you were the one to talk to about this.” I told her and gave her an eyesmile.

“No need to thank me. I’m gonna go now. It’s getting quite late.” The swing moved as Yuri stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school. And Tiffany, go get Jessica.”

I blushed at her words and nodded. I will surely get Jessica tomorrow.

Sunny’s POV

“Hello everybody! Isn’t it such a wonderful SUNNY morning?” I skipped into the auditorium on Monday where all my friends have gathered.

“No, it’s not. It’s Monday, do you need a better explanation?” Yuri rolled her eyes before joining in laughing at me.

“That’s what I’m saying, it’s Monday, there is a whole week to look forward to!” 

“Your energy is a little too much for me today Sunny.” Jessica said from where she is sitting beside Tiffany. I pouted and she groaned. “Don’t use your aegyo on me. It’s just plain gross.”

“Jessi, don’t be mean.” Tiffany said while gently touching Jessica’s arm, causing the ice princess to crack a rare smile.

I looked my other friends wondering if they saw what I did. Seohyun was reading over her script for drama, but Yuri and Taeyeon were looking at Jessica and Tiffany. They don’t seem surprised, it was more like jealousy? sadness? I can understand Taeyeon, but Yuri? Why?
Before I could think further, Mr. Park came into class and clapped his hand.

“Pay attention now, class is starting!” he said as he jumped up onto the stage where he can see all of us. “I hope you guys have been practicing your songs for the concert in three days. Today’s assignment should be very easy. The topic is emotions. I would like to see how well you can express yourselves through music, singing. So choose a song that fits what you are feeling now the most and just sing away. After that we can improve if you need it. I’ll give you 15 minutes. It’s individual work.”

The class cheered and started brainstorming for the probably easiest assignment of the year. After 15 minutes, Mr. Park called for order again.

“Who wants to volunteer to go first?”

“Will we get extra credit?” One of the guys asked, making all of us laugh.

“Sorry but no. This isn’t high school anymore.” Mr. Park answered him laughing as well.

“Mr. Park, I would like to go first.” Jessica raised her hand while standing up. 

The teacher nodded his approval. We applauded for support as Sica stood at the middle of the stage. All the lights closed except for the spotlight which was shining on Jessica. She stood with closed eyes, hands clutching the microphone tightly, and waiting for the music to start playing.

“Yeongwonhi neowa ggumgugo shipda (I want to dream with you forever)”

Jessica looked up at the audiences and stared straight at Tiffany who was calmly listening.

♪♫ Following the happy breeze, beneath that bright sky that blinds me
Beautiful melodies and fresh air fills this road that I'm walking with you
Do you remember? Those awkward and unfamiliar times when we first met
I'm thankful to you for silently taking care of me when I was hesitant and young

My exhausted heart beats once again
My weak heart has found light again
I want to hold your hand and walk like this forever
Together with the person I love in a world just for the two of us ♪♫
(Forever- SNSD)

We were swaying along with the music, and I could feel the power and determination Sica is putting into singing, talking to Tiffany through the song and showing her love for the girl. 

“Tiffany Hwang, will you take my hand and walk together with me, forever?” Jessica asked from the stage. 

The whole class oooohhhh and looked at Tiffany who was blushing like mad and smiling.

“You’ll have to search for my answer in my song Jessi!” she shouted to her.

Jessica walked over to her seat and sat down satisfied as if she knows the answer already. Taking Tiffany’s hand and whispering in the girl’s ear while Tiffany smiled back, she did not see the glare that Taeyeon was giving them.

“Sica-unnie is going to have some love trouble.” Yuri sang in my ear. I nodded my agreement.

“Ok, that was some emotional singing. Who’s next?” Mr. Park asked the class again.

Taeyeon stood up without a word and walked to the front. She seemed angry, but her expression turned sad as soon as she started singing. As usual, she captured our attention with her amazing vocals.

♪♫ Even though it hurts but a little, tears form
My heart screams out
If I pass in front of you, beside you
You were my whole world
I want only you
But I can't breathe when I'm in front of you

As if you weren't my destiny
As if this was just a fleeting moment
Next to you, who just let me go so easily
I go closer to you step by step
Although I cannot move at all

You make me restless, you make me cry
Like a fool, like a child
I want to just laugh it off instead

The closer I get to you
Although I get more scared
I guess I cannot stop this love ♪♫
(Can you hear me?- Taeyeon, Beethoven Virus OST)

Taeyeon’s voice broke at the end. She was crying. With one last look directed at Jessica, she ran down the stage and out the auditorium.

“May I go after her?” I quickly asked. I ran down the stairs after my best friend after I getting Mr. Park’s approval.

“Taeyeon! Kim Taeyeon!” I shouted her name over and over while running around the school in search for her. 

I was about to call her phone when I realized that she might be at her favorite hideout place. I ran across the football field and into the little school park. And there she was crying under her favorite tree, the place where she confessed her love to Jessica and Jessica accepted her.

“Taeyeon…” I called as I walked towards her. 

She turned her body away from me. I turned her towards me again and hugged her.

“You can always cry on me. I’ll always be by your side when you need me.” I told her while patting her back. She clung onto me like a little baby and cried and cried.

“I’m sorry, and thank you.” she told me after calming down a little.

I wiped her tears with a tissue and combed my fingers through her messed up hair. “You wanna talk about it?”

She nodded but was quiet for a long time. I looked at her as she tried to pull pieces of her broken heart back together. It hurt me to see her that broken, and I can’t do anything to help her.

“I love Jessica.” Taeyeon said slowly. 

Her words stabbed my heart, although it’s not the first time she said it. I swallowed hard and tried to keep my tears inside. I need to stand up and be strong for the person I love.

“But Jessica loves Tiffany.” Taeyeon continued.

“I know.”

“And Tiffany loves Jessica, even though she doesn’t realize it yet.” A tear slid down her cheek. She looked at me. “What should I do?”

The conversation I had with Yuri and Yoona at the café came back to me. Yuri asked the same question.

“Sunny-ah, what would you do if the person you love is in love with another person? Just give up, or will you keep on fighting?”

“It depends on the situation… I think I would keep fighting and waiting. I would just stick by her side so that I could share her joy with her and also be a shoulder she could cry on, a hand that will always be there to catch her if she falls. But it is fine as long as I can remain as her good friend though.” 

“I would give up. What’s most important is that the person I love is happy. If she is happy, wouldn’t you be happy too?” Yoona said suddenly. 

I realized Yoona was right. In Taeyeon’s situation, it will just hurt her more if she keeps on fighting for Jessica.

“Taeyeon, I think you should do what is right to do, although it might not be what you want to do.”

“You’re telling me to give up?”

“I know its easier saying than doing it, but think. Don’t you love both Jessica and Tiffany?”

“I do…”

“Don’t you want them to be happy?”

“I do.”

“Are you willing to do anything to make them happy?”

“I am..” She said before I can ask another question. “but I am not giving up Jessica this easily. Especially not after everything I have done to get her.”

“Come on Taeyeon! Ok, it is your choice to decide what you want to do, but I’m telling you that I don’t like what you’re doing. If I were you, I would have just given up on Jessica already. It would make both of them happy, although I would have to bear some pain.” I smiled lightly. “There are others out there. I’m sure you will find another person, though it seems impossible right now.”Others.. like me.

“And you can always come to me if you need to let your emotions out. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Thank you Sunny. I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re the bestest best friend I can ever have.” Taeyeon hugged me. I’m happy that I am at least your friend.

Jessica’s POV

I watched Taeyeon singing up on stage. She’s making me feel guilty, but I shouldn’t be. Is it my fault that we broke up? Is it my fault that I don’t love her like that anymore?”

She looked at me, in the eyes. Begging me to come back to her, be with her again. I shook my head and smiled sadly, and took Tiffany’s hand. My heart belongs to Tiffany now, I’m sorry Taeyeon.

I just sat and watched as Taeyeon ran out of the class crying, and Sunny went after her. An awkward silence has descended upon the auditorium.

“Now, we have to continue. Who’s up next?” Mr. Park clapped his hands, the sound too loud in the silence of the room.

“I’ll go.” Yuri stood up. She took the microphone and cleared . The instrumental started playing… another sad song.

♪♫ If I were to go, If I were to go close to you
What would you think? Just thinking of this breaks my heart
If you were to leave, if you were to leave my side
How would I ever let you go? I'm always fearful of this

Because I was like a fool, I could only look upon you. Most likely
Because I was afraid of how your heart might change and we might grow farther apart
I was such a fool, not able to tell you I loved you. Most likely
Because I was afraid of the hurt and sadness I would receive after we meet ♪♫
(If- Taeyeon, Honggil Dong OST)

Although she also sang with emotion, Yuri, unlike Taeyeon and I, didn’t look at anyone in particular. Who is she singing to? I never knew Yuri liked someone, she could tell me, I’m her best friend. Is it Yoona? But why would she be scared to confess, it’s not like the Kwon Yuri I know?

“Thank you Yuri. But what’s with all the sad love songs guys? Are your love lives that miserable?” Mr. Park joked in attempt to make the mood lighter. He nearly succeeded but Sunny and Taeyeon decided to reappear right at that moment.

No one said anything as the girls took their seats. Sunny nodded affirmation that everything is all right to the people who looked at her questionably. I caught Taeyeon’s eye and she smiled weakly at me.

“Tiffany would you mind going next?” Mr. Park asked. “Hope your choice will have a happier tune.”

“Don’t worry Mr. Park.” Tiffany carefully walked up the stairs to the stage and flashed us her infamous eyesmile.

“Aha, Listen Jessi, my first love story!
My angel, and my girls, 
my sunshine!
Oh! Oh! Let’s go!”

♪♫ You're so so pretty 
**(originally it’s ‘handsome’ but I changed it so that it’ll fit the story)
My eyes my eyes are blinded
I can't breathe because I'm trembling

Gee gee gee gee baby baby baby
Gee gee gee gee baby baby baby

Oh I feel so embarrassed
I can't look at you
I feel shy because I've fallen in love

Gee gee gee gee baby baby baby
Gee gee gee gee baby baby baby

What should I do? (What should I do~) About my trembling heart (My trembling heart)

(Thump thump thump thump) My heart kept thumping
So I couldn't fall asleep at night

I guess I guess I'm a fool
A fool that knows you, only you
Yes, as I look at you~~

So bright so bright My eyes are blinded no no no no no
So surprised surprised I'm shocked oh oh oh oh oh
So tingly tingly my body is trembling gee gee gee gee gee
Oh glittering eyes (oh yeah~) Oh sweet aroma (oh yeah yeah yeah~) ♪♫
(Gee- SNSD)

Tiffany’s song, really lightened the mood in the auditorium. By the time she got to the chorus, everyone was singing along, and some were even dancing. The audience response was better than usual as Tiffany has chosen a song that is well-known and well-liked by many people.

Yuri slipped into an empty seat beside me and leaned over to whisper. “So your great secret plan was to sing to her?”

I just shrugged and told her to be quiet so that I can hear my Fany sing. I totally love that song now.

And what made the song even better? Tiffany was singing it, and she was answering the question I asked her earlier through my song. 
It’s the best because Tiffany said (answered that) she loved me.

~~~

After school, I walked Tiffany back home with Taeyeon walking in front of us. I kept glancing at Tiffany and I wanted to hold her hand, but some why I had become too nervous to do so. Before I could muster up my courage, we have already arrived in front of their house. With a short goodbye, Taeyeon entered the house first, leaving Tiffany outside with me.

“Uh, I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Tiffany said to break the silence. She fiddled with the string of her bag, not yet wanting to go inside.

“Uhh, yeah. I’ll be going now then.” I reluctantly started walking backwards. “Bye.”

I turned around and walked towards my house. 

Come on, go back to her. Ask her about why she sang the song. Go give her a hug. You know you want to! A voice in my head prompted me.

“Tiff!” I called as I ran towards her and tackled her with a hug.

“You liked my singing?” she asked, smiling.

I nodded happily, the happiness making me unable to speak. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me, silly.”

“I love you.” I told her again.

“I…” Tiffany started but then hesitated.

I stepped back from the embrace to look at her. “You?”

“I love you too.. Jessi.” Tiffany said quickly. 

She flung her hands around my neck, leaned forward, and gave me a quick kiss on the lips, our first kiss. I put my hands around her waist and pulled her closer to me, trapping her as she tried to step back.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked her before leaning in closer to her, my lips hovering over hers.

“Apparently nowhere now.” she answered before I closed the gap between us.