When I flipped the photo album to the next page, my smile disappeared. This was taken six months after I’ve known you. It was a picture of you crying. I had remembered taking it because I saw you and wanted to capture you. It was only after taking it and looking at the photo to see whether it turned out nice, that I realize that you were crying. I remember myself panicking and rushing up to you.

“Haemin,”I called out your name gently as I stood near the table you were sitting at.

You looked up at me, and my heart felt like it was being squeezed for all its worth. Your pretty eyes were filled with tears, threatening to fall. Your smile was no longer there. And you looked as if you lost your soul.

“Hey,”you tried to smile.

But all you managed was an inch of a movement. You simply couldn’t bring yourself to smile.

“Are you okay?”I asked gently.

You then looked down at your bag and fiddled with your phone. Then, I noticed that your phone had a drop of water. Your tears had spilled out. I sat down opposite you, quietly watching. You looked up and there were tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Eunhyuk,”you managed to say in a soft voice.

“Yes?”I looked at you, concerned.

“We broke up,”you looked at me, unable to hide your sadness anymore.

Tears streamed down as you close your eyes tight and cried. I went towards you and sat beside you before pulling you into a hug. I your hair as you cried in my embrace. I didn’t want to ask you the reason for the break up. I didn’t want you to remember why you were so heartbroken. Although I don’t like the idea of you being attached because I love you, I wanted you to be happy. If that Kibum could make you happy, I’ll let you be with him. But the bastard just broke your heart.

“Do you know he was my first boyfriend?”you cried harder.

First times were always hard. I continued to your hair, wanting to reassure you that you were not alone in this.

“He said he wanted to spend his whole life with me,”you sobbed.

I kept quiet as I listened. But where is he now at your lowest point? Where is he now when you are so heartbroken? I know how it feels to be heartbroken. You would want to cry to the person you love and tell them how much you are hurting so they can help comfort you and make you feel better. But you would realize that, they are not there for you anymore. They were the one who hurt you. They were the reason why you were crying in the first place.

“It hurts,”you said.

“I know. Cry it all out,”I mumbled.

There were no words spoken as you continued to cry. I listened helplessly as you sobbed. I wanted so much to relieve that pain of yours. There was nothing I could do.

“I miss him so much, Eunhyuk. How could he leave me just like that? How could he leave me when he said he love me?”you sobbed.

“Maybe he just doesn’t love you that much,”I mumbled to myself.

I cursed under my breath at the jerk. How could he hurt my angel so deeply? My angel has a scar now that she will never forget. She would always remember you. She would always miss you. Although after she recover from her heartbreak and never want you in her life as her boyfriend again, she would still have feelings for you. My angel is the kind of girl who was so ever devoted. And it was because of that jerk, that it took me years to get Haemin to accept me. He made my angel afraid to love, and afraid to date for fear of getting hurt. She remembered the pain and told herself she didn’t want to date anymore. It was either she date the love of her life next time or nothing.

“He’s acting all normal now. How could he just stop caring when he cared so much then?”you just couldn’t understand.

The shock was still affecting you. I had no guts to tell you that there are guys out there who could do such a thing. They are that heartless. But I really hate the jerk. I knew for a fact that he asked you to be his girlfriend. How could he leave someone he claimed to love so much? How could he start the relationship, fly you to the stars and let you fall? My angel, I promise you that I will never ever let you fall. I would hold your hand tight and fly you to even greater heights. I would do anything I could to remove that scar of yours.

This isn’t true love, Haemin. True love happens when a guy who really loves you, would never ever leave you. That was what was between us a few years down the road. I never even thought of leaving you. All I ever want to do is sit by your side and never leave. But where are you now, Haemin?

“What am I going to do now?”

Silence.

“I feel so lost,”

Silence.

“I don’t know how to love anymore,”

That was it. It had been a quarter to an hour since I arrived. I couldn’t bring myself to continue seeing you like that.

“Haemin, let’s go,”I grabbed your hand.

“Where?”you asked as you looked up with tears staining your fair cheek.

“Somewhere,”I smiled.

You hesitated. I knew all you wanted to do at that moment was to cry yourself silly. But I wouldn’t allow it. I couldn’t just sit there, and watch your heart bleed and do nothing about it. I want to stop the bleeding.

“Trust Eunhyukkie, alright?”I reassured.

You reluctantly nodded your head as you stood up, and you wiped away all your tears. It was after all after school and we were free to go anywhere. . I was still holding onto your small hand as we walked out of the school. I didn’t want to let go in case you ran away to somewhere where I couldn’t find you. I wanted you to be near me so I could take care of you.  We got a taxi.

“Good afternoon, could you bring us to Lotte World?”I told the driver.

“What?!”you looked at me, with wide eyes.

The taxi driver began driving.

“Wait, stop the car, I don’t want to go to Lotte World! Lee Eunhyuk, are you out of your mind?!”you stared at me with disbelief.

The taxi stopped and you reached out to open the car door. I hurriedly reached out and slam the door back.

“Haemin, just trust me. I know what I’m doing,”I stared into your eyes.

I willed myself not to break eye contact though my heart was doing weird things. You blinked and sighed.

“I give up, do whatever you want, okay,”you looked out the window.

“So, are we still going to Lotte World?”the driver asked.

“Yes yes, sorry!”I nodded my head.

The driver drove off and in silence, we travelled there. The whole way there, you were staring out the window, with my hand holding onto yours. I kept glancing over to make sure you’re okay. But it seemed like the crying had tired you out because you fell asleep on the way there. I watched as you slept. Looking so peaceful and vulnerable, I swore to never let anything hurt you ever again. When we reached the venue, I let go of your hand unwillingly to tap you on your shoulder. Your eyelashes fluttered as you opened your eyes.

“We’re here,”I said softly.

You opened the door without a word and got out. I got out as well and looked at you. You were really unhappy.

“Come on,”I called out to you.

You followed behind me slowly. We bought tickets and got in. I then pointed to one of the rides.

“What?”you looked at me, as if I was a lunatic.

“Let’s go play that one,”I grinned.

“Eunhyukkie, I’m not in the mood. I really want some alone time,”you shook your head.

“But I asked you to trust me,”I tried to persuade you.

“But I really don’t want to go on a ride. I’m just not up for it,”your tears threatened to fall once again.

“Kim Haemin! Even if you cried a thousand years, he would never come back. He’s a jerk! Don’t stop yourself from enjoying life just because he left. He left because he was stupid and don’t know what he’s missing! You don’t need a man like him!”

After I said that, you got a shock. The tears seemed like it froze as it hung on your eyes, not falling. I realised that I’ve been too harsh on you. I was scaring you.

“Erm, Haemin, I didn’t mean to…,”but you cut me off.

“You’re right, Eunhyuk,”you wiped your tears away.

I heaved a sigh of relief. If you were to continue crying, I wouldn’t know what to do. I was afraid I would blurt out something I’ll regret. Like how I could take care of you better than him.

“Up for the ride now?”I asked with a cheeky grin.

“Not really,”you replied.

What? My heart sank.

“But I’ll give it a shot!”you took the effort to smile.

I smiled back. We got on the ride and when it started, your face paled.

“What’s wrong?”I asked, concerned.

“I’m scared,”you looked over to see how high we’ve gone.

You breathed in and out before turning to me.

“Can I hold your hand?”you asked.

Taken aback, I stared back at you. I never thought that you would ask to do that. I nodded stiffly and your hands enveloped mine. My heart warmed up straight away. When the roller coaster went down, you grabbed it, nails digging into my skin. Not that I mind, really. I’ll let you punch, scratch, kick, slap, or do anything to me and I wouldn’t even be angry with you. I won’t say a word and willingly let you do whatever you want. Soon, the screams coming out of your mouth weren’t of the tone of fear but rather, excitement. After we were done, you were laughing.

“That was fun! Let’s go on another one,”your eyes sparkling a little.

I agreed. We go on one after another. The thrilling rides made you scream your lungs out.

“Eunhyukkie!”you laughed as you close your eyes tight.

I laughed as well, looking at you being so happy as compared to hours before. This is how I want you to be everyday. I really hope you could give me a chance to let me prove to you that I really could take care of you and protect you from all evils. After we grew tired, we went to grab dinner.  You insisted on treating me to dinner.

“Thank you so much!”you smiled.

“No problem,”I grinned.

We ate while chatting and it was time to go home. When we reached our neighbourhood, we walked side by side under the starry night.

“It won’t be easy for me to stop mourning. I’ll probably be depressed for months,”you sighed.

“I understand,”I patted your shoulder.

“I hope you can be patient with me as I try to get on with life,”you looked at me.

“I will. I’m sorry for being so harsh on you just now,”I apologized.

“Nah, I don’t mind,”you brushed it away.

When we reached your driveway, we bade farewell. After I reached home, there was a vibration from my phone. I took it out to see a message from you.

[Thank you so much for today! I’m sorry for being so annoying! It’s just…you know. But thank you for being there for me! You’re a really wonderful friend! –Haemin]

Friend? How long do I have to stay being friends with you? I want to have the right to protect you. But I ignored it and replied you.

[It takes time for a wound to heal. But just bear with it. I’ll be here for you. If you need a shoulder to cry on, you can always call me. –Eunhyuk]

As I lay in bed that night, your words kept rewinding in my mind like a broken record.

“I hope you can be patient with me as I try to get on with life,”

Haemin, I can do anything for you. If you want me to be patient, I would. You don’t know how much you mean to me. Even as a friend back then, I couldn’t afford to lose you. Because from the day I met you, my heart beats only for you, my angel.