https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFEsqaXwGAs <-- died so many times. and i approve very much of SM using Muse as the bgm.

I finished my homework at 4 pm. I laughed, I rolled on the floor, I jumped on the bed, I took a nap, I ate an apple.

It was 5 pm.

"So weird not having practice," I say outloud. I watched the clock get closer to 7.

It was 5:01.

"Miho!" yelped Sunny from the kitchen.

"Hmm?"

Sunny walked out. "Appa and Umma says we have to cook our own food today, because they're both coming home late." She plopped on the sofa. "So what do you want to make?"

"Oh...um," I scratched my head. "Actually...I won't be eating-"

"What's the new diet plan?"

"No no..." If I told her I was eating outside, she would probably force herself to come with me. "Uh, actually I have to go back for practice at like 7...but Tao and I will be eating there before coming back home...yeah," I lied.

"Oh okay, I guess I have to make food by myself," she pouted and headed back to the kitchen.

5:07. I groaned and plopped on the couch. Tao should be at the doctor's right now...

Huang ZiTao.

Where are you.

Oh hai cupcakes.

I like Pandas.

I sighed. Does this not work when we're far away?

I went over to Uncle's computer and searched Telepathy.

Lots of scientific articles came up about the phenomona. The transmission of words or phrases, like images or emotions, complex to achieve, may require training, should be similar minded, some people are only able to attract a specific person, occurs with long lasting couples...must be able to control thoughts...

Cupcakes and pandas weren't very controlled were they?

I like youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

Nothing happened. I plopped back on the couch when I remembered what Lay had said yesterday...

   "So this is like a date."

A date? Why did he say that?

   "...with Tao."

I sat up. Well...date or not, shouldn't I dress up?

I laughed, I rolled on the floor, I...I stopped. What did I even have to dress up in? My clothes consisted of T-shirts and sweats. Like I had said, the most revealing outfit I owned was my school outfit. No way was it actually revealing, just that it had a skirt. Ew, skirts...

but I don't want to wear dirty practice clothes...

I walked into Sunny's room and looked at her messy closet. She had a few dresses here and there...but they were a bit too big for me. I started rummaging through her pile of shirts and found a plaid, light pink one. I also found a black skirt that actually fit me but it was even shorter than my uniform skirt so I paired it with my gray leggings. Then, I miraculously found a jacket of my own that didn't smell sweaty, so I wore it.

I glanced at my reflection.

Mehh I guess it was ok for trying the first time?

There was still so much time so I headed back to the computer bored. I found myself going onto weibo, which I hadn't done forever. I was shocked to see so many friend requests. A lot of alerts were showing me that people had tagged me asking if I really was going to debut...

Wait. This wasn't my weibo. It had the same background, but it wasn't mine. 

It was Huang ZiTao's. 

Another alert popped up. 

! Are you sure you want to delete these 157 pictures?

! Are you sure you want to delete these 83 posts?

Curious, I skimmed through the pictures that popped up.

Dangggg Tao really was into taking selcas. After a while, pictures of him with his brother and his sister came up. Pictures of him eating, laughing, having fun. I suddenly found myself on picture 156. Did I just view over 100 photos of Tao....I slowly clicked the next button. It was a picture of him and me. Arms over each other, hair messy, clothes muddy. I squinted at the caption.

I miss you.

! Please comfirm to delete all 157 pictures.

Slowly, I clicked comfirm.

Tao had probably been in a rush to delete all evidence of his past. He probably didn't want all those pre debut pictures floating around the internet. I didn't want to, but I made myself do it. When the pop up screen closed and the pictures dissapeard, I saw that Tao still had 71 photos, sitting there on his weibo, for anyone to see. -________-. I should probably let Tao delete those though...I moved on to the posts. I kind of felt like I was stalking after seeing all those photos, so I skimmed throught the posts...but so many caught my attention... 

(A/N: important ones in bold. You don't have to read them all, just skim maybe:) Yes, these are his actual posts, but I only placed a few...it's all so sad :'( I was actually tearing up reading the original.......he went through so much! ><)

“It's always bleeding, what the heck is this? I do not really want to give up…Hold on!” August, 2009 (He went through a injury during this time.)

“If you feel tough, that is real life. Whatever, the only way to avoid this is to struggle.” October, 2009

“I love music; I love Wushu more than ever.” Nov.2009

“I would like if someone could hear my singing.” Nov.2009

“Who would like a cold person like me? Why I changed a lot, I’m not talkative or fond of fun.” 

“I’m a waiter now, fighting! Dad, thanks for everything you have done for me. I love you!” Dec.2009

“Master, sister, although you can’t see me, I have to say seriously that I miss you so much.” Dec.2009

“It is the first time I felt so faint. I suddenly felt everything go black in the bathroom. My head is pounding now.” Dec.2009

“I’m trying to form a band. If you want to sing, singing in your own way. Friends in Hong Kong, here I am!” January, 2010

“Dear elder brother, why is watching movie more important than recording my song?” January, 2010

“What else can I do in the next 6 years?” January, 2010 (After recovering from an injury, Tao suddenly stop practicing Wushu. He devoted himself to learning music.)

“Even the whole world and all my friends misunderstand me, I won’t explain. I know what I’m doing.” Feb, 2010

“Why do I always trust people and get deluded.” Feb, 2010

“I earned a handbag for my mother and a pen for my dad. So happy!” Feb, 2010

“My new songs will be released soon, composed and written by Huang ZiTao.I will produce more and better works. If you like it, take it.” Mar, 2010

“If I can’t write a good song, I have only myself to blame.” Mar, 2010

“What should I do? I learned so much that I can’t digest it soon. I’m worried to death.” April, 2010

“Today is my birthday. I don’t need wishes and gifts. I even don’t know what exactly what I want.” May, 2010

“This is the first time I didn’t accomplish my teacher’s mission.” May, 2010

“Now the only thing I have is a microphone.” May, 2010

“I will not abuse their hospitality, even if it's just a few people.” May, 2010 (Hmm...sounds like Mr. and Mrs. Gyun.)

“There is no 100% justice, the same to injustice.” Sep.2010

“Falling stars carry too much, that’s why they fall down from the sky.” Sep.2010

“Without consideration of my family, I’m the guy that has nothing but my dream.” Sep.2010

“You know what? I miss the days practicing Wushu very much.” Oct.2010

“Morning run makes me feel so good.” Oct.2010

“It’s hard to learn Korean songs. Could it get me there?” Nov.2010

“The more you may feel like giving up, the more you can’t do that. Think through your past, Huang Zi Tao, please never, never do that again.” Nov.2010

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth. I just don’t like anyone to sympathize with me.” Nov.2010

 [Dec, 2010]

“Work hard. Countdown to debut.”

“Learn the things I should learn, and then I won’t be crippled.”

“I don’t like to imitate people.” 

“I really cherish the moment we spent together.”

My mouth hung open. And to know that there was probably over 100 posts that I hadn't looked at....Oh my Tao...what had he gone through?! 

I quickly deleted them as my mind processed what I had seen. He really had been injured, for years. And he never told anyone. It changed him and no one understood him. He always took the blame and kept working harder...even though it hurt him so much. He missed his family and friends but he gave them up for his dream....

! Five new posts posted nine km away, by phone.

What...Did Tao just post again...

[Jan.2011]

“I found myself to have some psychological problems. What shall I do?”

“Friends are so important for me. Why did I come to realize it until now?”

“My singing skills are good, but it’s not enough. I have to find an outbreak.”

“Dad, our dream definitely could come true. Mom, whatever you like I’ll buy for you!”

“I won’t stop even if my throat bleeds and I'll keep dancing till my feet run with pus.”

So he did go to the doctor....? Psychological problems? Friends? Pus? What? And why does he keep using his weibo?

! Another user is accessing this account. To prevent hacking, please confirm with password.

Agh. I signed out.

I rested my head on the desk. What did I just see...

"Miho? It's 6:50, you-" yelled Sunny from the kitchen.

"What? Really? Omo thankyoubye!" I ran out the house. 

When I arrived at the building, I headed to the main dance studio and opened it to find Greg taking a picture of EXO with one of the new dance instructers. Well not all of EXO...Xiumin was missing.

I smiled at their dorkiness and my eyes fell on Tao. He was smiling and if he was still hurt, he didn't show it. My eyes moved to the phone in his hand.

That damn phone.

That damn phone with a panda bear dangling from it. 

Heck, he was the only one who probably always carried a phone. Posting a million posts and selcas on weibo every five minutes. I paused in my thoughts, remembering all the crazy things he had written.....

But now. I need to tell him to quit it and start deleting. Really don't need all that for all your fans to see in the future...

"Miho!" 

I glance up. "Ta-" It was Lay. "Lay Ge! Hi!" I smiled. 

He smiled back. "You're here already? That's good...Tao and I were deciding not to take a shower..." he chuckled. "I mean, we didn't dance that hard today and we're kinda lazy..." I laughed with him. I looked at Tao, who wasn't even in a hurry at getting his stuff, although Lay and I were waiting for him. He was texting...or was he posting again?!? Agh... I wanted snatch it away from him...

"Are you hungry?" asked Lay.

"Huh? Yeah haha, I was too lazy to eat lunch so I'm pretty hungry." My stomach rumbled in agreement. Oops. Lay and I laughed. 

"What's taking Tao so long..." muttered Lay.

Tao was snapping selcas with Sehun.

This was really starting to get on my nerves.

"I da naaa. If he doesn't hurry, we can leave alone, Lay Oppa," I said, loud enough for Tao to hear. 

Oppa. I hate that word. Probably from Hye In's overusage of it. Everyday "Oppa Oppa Oppa Oppa." It felt so weird saying it...Lay Oppa. But it makes Lay smile shyly and Tao...

Tao was already besides me, holding my hand and leading me outside. 

Hehe.

Why am I grinning this big.