Falling in love is easy but keeping that love going is the hardest part.

~~~

Love doesn’t last. It expires too soon. Like every medicine that could cure your heart, this type of medicine seems to have an expiration date too. I wonder how this cheap medicine could cure me now. It may kill me now.

Myungsoo asked me to meet him tonight. I already know what the reason of the meeting he’s talking about but I still pretended that I don’t know anything. I acted like an innocent fool wanting him to spoon-feed me with his lies and everything.

“We have to talk things out”. He calmly stated on the other line before hanging up.

I prepared myself and went to our favorite café when we were on college. It’s practically the best place to end this up since it’s the place where we started up as a couple. Ironic it may seem but this café has witnessed the beginning and the end of this relationship. I practically went earlier than the time we have set because I don’t want him to see me first. And at least, I’m well prepared for this big event in my life.

There were minimal changes in the café. Ji Hye unnie was still there with her new cute workers. Well, Over the Top is the place where you can find coffees with over the top flavour and served by waiters with over the top looks. I smiled to the thoughts like these. And then I remembered him and how we met and…ugh. I mentally slapped myself for being like this. I have to stay strong. That’s the only thing I have to do right now. I peeped at my wrist watch and its five more minutes before the settled time.

Dark clouds are forming outside and raindrops were slowly falling down from the sky. I sighed and stared at the gloomy atmosphere outside. May be he won’t make it this time. Well, I hope he won’t make it this time. I was a little disgusted at myself for hoping that he won’t make it so we don’t have to say what we have to say today – hoping that he won’t make it so he won’t finally break it up with me.

The bell on the door dinged indicating that there’s someone who has entered the café. And there he is dusting off his clothes, wiping the beads of sweat forming in his forehead. He was rushing here. Well, of course, who wants to be drenched in the rain? I saw him searching for me but I looked away. I stared at the table instead, playing with the table napkins, trying to enjoy myself, trying to show how bored I was, trying to show him how long I have been waiting for him, and trying to make him felt guilty – not only for making me wait but for also for breaking up with me in just a few minutes.

“Hey!” He called me and went to my area. He sat and faced me. “Sorry for taking so long”.

“That’s okay”.

“Did you order?”

I shook my head.

“Oh. Okay”. Then he called the waiter named Baro and ordered, so to say, our favorite dish from this café: cream puffs with mint flavoured filling and coffee latte.

“How are you?”

“Doing fine”.

“About last night…”

“Yeah”.

“I’m sorry”.

“You don’t have to. It’s my fault anyways”. I said trying to get hold of him.

“But there’s more than that”.

“What do you mean?”

“Last night…” He paused, considering if he will still continue what he’s about to say and all. I just stared at him and let out a small smile to indicate that he can continue speaking. “Last night, after that, I went back to party. I get a little drunk, and me and Gyuri…”

“Stop”. I bit my lips. “I knew it too well from the very start”. I said very coldly.

“I’m sorry Jinyoung. I don’t want to do that”.

“Stop”, I muttered, my throat is aching from holding back the tears.

“I’m sorry okay? I was drunk! Why wouldn’t you listen to me?” his tone raised a little louder.

“Just stop! If you’re here to break up with me then you don’t have to say sorry and make me look like a pathetic person”.

He just bit his lips and I knew I hit the point right. “God Jinyoungie, you’re making it more complicated”. He ruffled his hair just like he always does in times like this.

Then we heard someone coughing at us. It was the waiter placing our orders on our table. He leave immediately right after he has done his job. We were practically flustered and stopped from our starting fight and just stared at the food on our table. None of us dared to move and both of us are just silent.

“We both need space now and this time, let’s make it real”.

Yeah he’s right. We both need space and we both need it now. I think I’ve been suffocating him with too much attention I’ve been giving him. I think he’s been used to my endless nagging. Do I become so selfish by wanting him to be with me and only me? Do I become selfish by wanting his eyes set on me and only me? Do I become selfish by wanting him to love me as much as I could love him? Is it wrong to make him my man? Is it wrong to make him my world? Is it wrong to love him as much as I could love myself?

He’s right. I guess I need space. I need space to rediscover myself and my life without him. I need space to find what I will become when I’m not with him. I need space to understand my own strengths and weaknesses. I need space to realize that there’s more to life than loving him. And he’s right for giving it to me right now.

I tried my best to hold back the tears. I wanted to compose myself. I don’t want to look pathetic right now in front of other people’s eyes. I don’t want them to see me crying just because my boyfriend for seven years officially broke up with me.

“Guess this really means goodbye”. I said, sipping the lukewarm coffee latte. “I’ll take my leave first. Goodbye Myungsoo. It is nice meeting someone like you”. Then I grabbed my purse and left. I rushed outside the café just in case I won’t be able to hold these tears back. I called taxi and went home. I wanted to lock myself up in my room and cry as much as I can. I don’t want to be here.

~~~

The most painful part of leaving the person you love is that they will never come after you. I just watched her stormed out of the café - the same café where we first met. Ironic it may seem but that was the place where we first started and now it’s the same place where we ended. As soon as she left, I felt a pang of pain in my heart. I knew that she’s crying. And she is crying because of me.

I know it’s stupid. I still love her though. But she needs space. I know she needed it and so am I. I wanted to hold on to her. But I just let her go. Afraid that if she would stay a little longer, I couldn’t bring myself of wanting to hold her back.

Our main characters:

*just some random ulzzang photo I found from the Internet*

Han Jiyoung – is the typical sweet, charming young lady who moved from the peaceful place in Busan to the busy Seoul city. She is now living with her Aunt Misun. She doesn’t know how to interact with guys since she has attended an all-girls school way back when she was in grade school and high school. Now that she is going to enter college life, how could she deal with the guys she will meet throughout her college life? What if she could meet a certain guy that could reach out inside her heart? How could an NBSB (No Boyfriend since Birth) type of girl handle the yearning of her heart?

*can't decide for the right photo*

Kim Myungsoo – is the typical boy-next-door who believes in such things as “destiny”. He is romantic but a bit player but when he found his destined love, he’s going guts for it. He’s living by himself somewhere in Seoul and tends to be an overachiever since he wanted to prove so much to himself. What if he soon found the girl he thinks that is destined for him but something that is important for him will be sacrificed in return?

***

Other characters will be revealed as soon as the story goes on. And yes, I will definitely find a way to include ALL the Infinite members in this story because I love them! I am an Inspirit always and forever and a proud eLement.

P.S. I just recently added this foreword cuz I at forewords but I did my best to put up one because I think it’s necessary.

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