Jinyoung’s POV

I was still bothered with Myungsoo’s words. I kept on pondering and weighing those words that came from Myungsoo’s mouth. Suddenly, I thought about Sungjong when he said to me that I was in love with Myungsoo. If that’s the case, wouldn’t be unfair if he just likes me and I love him? I know it’s childish but I just want everything to be fair enough. Besides, I guess in love, two people must have mutual feelings. These feelings are equal and reciprocated. Therefore… it would really be unfair if he likes me and if I love him. But what really differs from the word “like” to the word “love”?

I grab the hideous thesaurus on the living room and scanned the pages. I was looking for the word “like” and “love” to find their meanings. Maybe dictionary will help me define those two words.

Like. (prep.) Similar to, akin to, approximating, in the vein of, reminiscent of, resembling

Like. (adj.) similar, comparable

Like. (v) be fond of, be keen on, enjoy, love

I like you.

So it also means “I am fond of you”. “I am keen on you”. “I enjoy you” (say what?) “I love you?” So they are just the same? Oh. It makes me so confused! I immediately scanned the word “love” at the thesaurus and I found these words.

Love. (v.) feel affection for, adore, worship, be devoted to, care for, find irresistible

Love. (n.) affection, friendship, feeling, adoration, tenderness, fondness, devotion, passion, ardour

If I really love him, so it will appear like: “I feel affection for him”, “I adore him”, “I’m devoted to him”, “I care for him”, and “I find him irresistible”. If I really feel love, I will feel affection, friendship, feeling, adoration, tenderness, fondness, devotion, passion, ardour for him. This is crazy! It just complicates everything!

I ruffled my hair and closed the thesaurus and banged my head over it. I was so exhausted of finding the meaning and the difference between those two words. They seemed similar but they are different in such a way I can’t still explain clearly. I let out a deep sigh and turned my head up only to see omma’s worrying expression.

“What’s wrong? You seemed to be lost in your deep thoughts. What’s bothering you darling?”

“Huh?” I snapped out and I saw omma propping her elbows, her face close to mine. I woke up from my insanity and cleared my throat. “Oh! Omma! Ah, I really… I just don’t know…”

“What? What do you need to know? You can ask me anything?” Omma smiled at me. I forced a smile and moved the gruesome thesaurus away from me.

“Uhm, it just confused me… But, I just want to know the difference of the words “like” and “love” and it was so complicated when I turned to that thesaurus”, I finished my statement with a sigh.

Omma just chuckled and ruffled my hair. “You are so like a baby! But you are all grown up!”

I just furrowed my eyebrows. How can I be such a baby when I was now a grown-up? Omma’s words just added to the complications. After her giggle went down, her face became staid but the smile won’t fade away.

“Jinyoung-ie, those words are just the same. They are feelings we could feel towards a person or even towards things. We like things, we like a person. We like things, we love a person. But the difference between “like”, “love”, and “in love” is the same as the difference between “for now”, “for a while”, and “forever”. But those feelings grow as time passes by. A like may turn into love and love may turn into in love. Just like that”

I just stared at omma, trying to digest all those words that came from .

She just smiled. “You don’t need to force yourself to understand that all immediately. What important is that… I’m so happy that you are starting to feel those!” Omma came near to me and squealed. There she goes with the aegyo attack! It made me smile. “Oh my! Jinyoung-ie. Did Myungsoo just say those words to you?”

“Huh? Ani~ I just… I was just…” I stuttered as I get out from my seat and stood up. “I just need to go inside my room and study! Bye omma! Good night! And thank you too”. With that, I rushed inside my room with looking at her reaction. I closed the door and threw myself on the bed.

Hearing his name made my heart beats so fast. So… upon analysing omma’s words, if Myungsoo said he likes me, he just likes me for now. It may change tomorrow or it may grow as time passes by. If Sungjong said that I love Myungsoo, it means I love him for a while. I know I was feeling these for quite a while now, but…  

My head aches from all the thinking and just decided to go to sleep. May be when I wake up, I will know the answers on these questions inside my mind.

~~~

Author’s POV

Days passed by like a bullet train dropping to its next station. It’s Friday and means busy day for the university. While other people are thanking God that it’s Friday, Daekyung university students were rushing on their class schedules, cramming their papers, studying for their exams, preparing for their projects. Registration is also finally over and so Sungjong and Eunji and other volunteers were very much busy for the contest programme. Prof. Nam has posted on his literature class that he will be giving incentives for those who will attend the contest as audience. He even posted that he is proud for his students who has registered at the contest.

“Aigoo, this emoticon-rich professor”, Jinyoung smiled as she read the note on their class room. Then, she walked along the hallways and passed by their art class room. Prof. Kang has also posted his announcement regarding the art project presentation. Luckily, the presentation date is after the contest so it means that she could attend and watch Sungjong and Eunji perform and not to mention, Hoya as well.

Sungjong has told her that Eunji and he was now a couple so he won’t always be with her all the time. Besides, they are so busy with the contest preparation and Prof. Nam was stressing them a lot with their special stage. She thought about Myungsoo. But she sighed after remembering that Myungsoo said that he will be busy as well so he just messaged him about the presentation deadline.

To: Nappeun Saegyi ><

Prof. Kang just posted the deadline for our presentation. Right after the Daeekyung University Search. Hope you’re doing well on our project.

Message Sent!

Jinyoung put her phone back inside her pocket and sighed. She has no classes for today and so she just decided to walk around the campus. She wanted to go to the café but she decided not to. Ever since she attended Daekyung University, she thought that there are still areas that she needs to discover. All this time, aside from her classrooms, she just spends it mostly on the café, on the library, and nothing more. So she walked around the park and sat on the nearby bench under the shade of a huge tree.

The cool summer air, the gentle falling of the leaves, and the peaceful solitude inspired her brain cells to function in a very productive way.

“Ah!” Jinyoung exclaimed as she grabbed her notebook and her pen and started to draw something. It must probably be for her design for the art project.

She was busily doodling on her notebook as ideas keep on flowing into her head until someone tapped her shoulders. She was so much startled as she seemed to lose her focus. She dropped her notebook on the ground and she irritatingly picked it up.

“What is wrong with you?” Jinyoung annoyingly stated without looking at the person who just disturbed her and dusted off her notebook. “Look at what you’ve done!” as she exhaled loudly.

Then the person laughed.

“Aren’t you sorry? You-“then she faced the person who was trying to control the laughter. “Hoya?” Jinyoung’s eyes widen and bit her lip. She seemed apologetic about what she has done earlier but she couldn’t bear to express it very well. “Omo!”

Hoya just smiled.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Just a while. Sorry if I startled you”

“No, no. There’s nothing to be sorry with. I should be the one who’s sorry though”. Jinyoung looked down.

“Can I sit?”

Jinyoung nodded.

“Thanks!” Hoya said with a smile. He was wearing a black wife beater and gray baggy pants. He put down his back pack on the side of the bench and stretched out his arms on the air, rolled his neck, then let out a loud “ha”.

“You look tired” Jinyoung muttered.

“Ah, sort of. Just got out from practice”

“Practice?” Jinyoung furrowed her eyebrows trying to answer her own question. “AH!” she voiced out as she finally discovered the answer. “You’re going to dance?”

Hoya just nodded. 

“So how was it?”

“Well, you should watch me then on the competition. You won’t regret it, I swear!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there at the contest. Remember, Prof. Nam said that he will be giving out incentives to those who will watch the contest.”

“Really?”

Jinyoung nodded.

“So, I suppose you will be cheering for me, right?”

“Of course!”

“Thank you. So, what are you doing earlier? You’re so serious I even startled you”

Jinyoung grabbed her notebook and hugged it, trying her best that Hoya couldn’t see it. “Ah, this… I was just doodling…things. Yeah just like that” she tried as she remembered herself writing “choah”, “sarang”, “Myungsoo”, and even “Hoya” in her notebook.

“Really?”

“O-Of c-course! Why would I lie to you?” Jinyoung stuttered as she immediately put her notebook back inside her bag and stretch out her arms and legs. “Ah~” she exhaled. “This day is so tiring~”

Hoya just chuckled and swiftly grabbed her right hand. Jinyoung was startled as Hoya squeezed her hand. But it doesn’t stop him as he seemed like he was massaging her hand. Jinyoung was still wearing that surprised look in her face.

“This is good for you” Hoya painted his reassuring smile which made her smile as well.

“Thank you”

Hoya continued to gently squeeze her hand and they shared a moment of silence. The soft rustling of the leaves of the giant trees surrounding them was only heard. It was quite an awkward moment of silence for the both of them but Hoya started the conversation.

“Uhm, I guess… I have to tell you this”

~~~