Depression.....

I HAVE A BROTHER!?!

You just woke up from your nap. You were so tired from crying for staight hours. You then went to the bathroom and did your private stuff. You then went to the sink to wash your hands. While you were washing your hand you look yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were red and puffy. 

When you were done washing your hands and drying it, you went to your room to get your eye drop that the doctor give you if your eyes were red and puffy. 

When you were finshed you went downstairs. You notice that your unnies were there wating for you with a worried face. You then went to a seat. And then look at all of your unnies. They even notice that your eyes werent red and puffy. 

Victoria Unnie was the first person who spoke up first. " Are you okay Minyoung-ah? Your eyes arent red and Kevin told us what happened from your camera.

FLASHBACK

You were deep in sleep because you were crying for awhile. When Kevin saw the picture he ran out of your room and yelled. "YAH YOU GUYS! LOOK AT THIS! I THINK THIS IS WHY SHE WAS CRYING!" Kevin yelled. " YAH! SHUT UP DONT YOU SEE MINYOUNG IS TRYING TO SLEEP?" Luna said. " YAH! YOU GUYS BE QUIET!" Amber said. " YAH! AMBER IS RIGHT! BE QUIES" Krystal said. " YAH! LET MINYOUNG SLEEP!" Sulli said. "YAH! *whisper* be quiet minyoung is trying to sleep. " victoria said.

You were moving around because of this loud voice. When they stop making noise. You went back to sleep. 

Kevin then showed the picure of you. They all smiled and then they saw the corner of the picture and there smile fade away. All at once one tear slid all of the unnies at the same time. Kevin saw their faces and felt the saddness. He  then said " take good care of minyoung. Make sure she eats. IF she doesnt tell me." and everybody nodded. 

End of Flashback

" Yeah i am okay. i put this special eye drops on my eyes from the doctor."  you said. They were now not putting on a confused face. "Oh" they all thought. 

You then made yourself breakfast. since the unnies already ate. You made yourself eggs and pancakes. When you were finshed eating and cooking you washed the dishes. When you were done you telled the unnies if i had any schedles and they said i that i dont have any only krystal. 

You felt bad for her because she was the only one who has a schedle. You then went to your room and change into a sweatpants and a domo shirt. You then tie your hair up high. You then wore your glasses becuase your vision were kind of blurry. 

You then went out and told unnies that i would be in the dance practice room.. You finally arrvied. you then went in then dance room and notice that nobody was using it. You then put your ipod in the speaker and put shuffle. when a song will pop up you will dance to it. To get rid of Woohyun. 

4 hours later..... 

You were still dancing. Because you cant get rid Woohyun. The music that finally stopped. You then look at the person who stopped the music. You saw that it was the unnies who turned off the music. 

"YAH!" All the unnies said. You jump as a suprised. " Why are you not at the dorm?, Why didnt you ate lunch yet? Dont you know what time is it? " Luna yelled at you. 

" I wasnt at the dorm yet becuase i am trying to get Woohyun out of my mind. I didnt ate lunch yet because i was practicing. And i dont know what time is it!" you said 

"Well, at least eat lunch befor you fainted. watch  your health okay!" Sulli yelled. "O-O-Okay..." you replied. 

You then got your ipod and went back to the dorm, you then take a shower then you change into jeans and a hello kitty shirt. You then grab your wallet jacket, and phone, shoes and then you told the unnies that i am getting out for lunch. 

You then got in your car and went to kfc to eat some chickens. You then bought two buckets of chicken and mashed poathoes. You then paid the food and waited for the food. When the food arrvied you got the food and went to jamba juice and got yourself carribeion pashion. (i cant spell it) 

You then got your drink. you then put the food on the passenger seat. You then sip your drink. Then you went back to the dorm. And went to shinee's dorm. You rang the bell. And Onew opened the door. 

"Hey Sis!" Onew said. " Hi Oppa! Guess What? I HAVE CHICKEN! ONE BOX IS YOUR THOUGH. THE OTHER ONE IS MINE & THE MASHED POATHOES." you said. 

He nodded. you did a salute. You laughed at his sillyness. you then took out your shoes and put on slippers that onew bought you. You then went to the dining table and started eating. 

1 hr later...

You were finally finshed. You then drank the whole drink that you bought. You then got a glass of water and took you after meal pills. When you were done you clean up the mess. You then finshed cleaning you then went back to your dorm. 

You then change into sweatpants. When you were done changing you then went on your computer. You then watched running man episodes. When you were done catching up. You then made yourself dinner. You made ramen and kimichi fried rice. 

When you were done eating and cooking you put the food on the coffee table and watched tv. you didnt care what is on just that i wont be so bored.

 

 

 

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stephanie1138 #1
Chapter 1: Chapter 1: To be frank, I don't really like your writing.
First of all, the characters are boring. They are pratically the same person. They act the same. All of them are nice, good looking and insanely attractive. In short, flawless. It makes your story seems dead. Secondly, you narrate too much. Specifically, you wrote about everything which is very unnecessary. For example, the narration about Minyong's doing in the school. You narrate on her going to school, about her opening the locker, about her being boring in class. You can include them in the story but try to make them less obvious. Don't be too direct. Thirdly, you're making me confused by not sticking to any point of view. At first, you'd addressed Minyoung as 'you' and then as 'I'. It's hard to keep track on who's point of view is it. Because some of the stories out there is written from various characters' point of view.Also, you're using the word 'then' too much in your writing. I see that you try to connect the story using it but you keep repeating it over and over again. Lastly, I don't see the connection of the storyline. It doesn't flow nicely. The plot keep jumping all over the place. Try to be specific in writing the scenario. But don't write too much by writing unnecessary things. You're supposed to make the reader understand what's going on in your story. It able them to visualize the story easily.

Btw, I'm sorry for being harsh with my comment. I'm not trying to bash you with my comment. I just want to point out your flaws in writing so that you can improve them.
You also have your own strengths in writing. What's good about you is your idea. You have a great idea on wrtin it's just that your delivery is still poor. But, it's okay. I know you could improve your writing because I can see your potential as a good writer. I hope you're not going to get hurt by my comment. I'm sorry if my words is too harsh. Thank you and have a nice day.

And congratulations for being featured!
Iminthezone #2
Congrats
agentllama08
#3
Chapter 35: Update please
ShineeLeeJinki
#4
SEQUEL!!
naznew #5
i will read it..
EXOtic123 #6
umm....new reader here. you wrote infinate when its infinite on the foreward and you also used an old u-kiss photo but used the new members name........ but i'll start reading soon^^
unfixed-soul
#7
Sequel because it doesn't make sense to just end it like that.
naznew #8
Gomawo update...
a sequel because you make the story suspended..
LeeMinJi #9
Gomawo for the update :D Sequel please!