MY EYE-SMILE (:

I HAVE A BROTHER!?!

You just woke up from your nightmare the same one from last when about Woohyun cheating on. You keed shaking you head no that you Woohyun is cheating on you. 

You then clean your bed and took a shower and went to the kitchen. While you were walking you accentdently bump to the wall. You forgot to put your glasses on. You then ran back to your room that krystal was in and then you grabbed your glasses and ran back down stairs.

You then made breakfast for everybody you made whole in one. (toast and their is a hole in the middle and there is a egg in the middle.) It was your first time making it. You saw it on youtube. 

When you finshed making whole in one you made rice. While you were waiting for the rice to be finshed you did you hair and took a picture of yourself and put it as a screen savor. 

-E9-9D-9E-E4-B8-BB-E6-B5-81-E5-8F-91-E5-

 

You then heard a click. that means the rice was finshed you put your phone back on your back pocket and mixed the rice. When you were done mixing you yelled to your unnies that breakfast was ready in 5 seconds. 

You then told them that you made whole in one with rice. They didnt care so they just dig in. You then found your serious look. "Yah unnies, how is it? is it not  cooked?" you started giving them questions so they could replay. 

And then Amber unnie finally speak up. " i..........LOVE THIS! THIS IS SO BOMB! YAH DONGSAEONG! GO MAKE MORE!" 

You then jumped of suprisesd you never heard amber yelled at you. You then stand up and made more. And more and more so you could give them for your brother and his bandmates. 

20 minutes you finshed cooking. You then grab the food of leftovers and gave it to your brother. You then knocked on you brother dorm and then Onew was half awake and then he yawned. " Why are you always here so early" he then smelled something. It was was coming from behind you. " Yah dongsaeng where is the smell coming from?"

You then gave him the leftovers. Bye Oppa! you waved and then when you went back to your dorm you could see the corner of your eye that onew is going to eat the whole plate in one second. 

You then quitely laughed and walk in the dorm. Everybody look at you. guessing who came in the door. They notice that you was at the door and they even notice your hair. 

"YAH! MINYOUNG! i LIKE your HAIR (:" krystal. You did you eye smile and said thank you. *Cute* thought all the unnies. You then clean up the dishes and then you changed into a shirt and skinney jeans. You put make up on you and then you put your contacts and pills and glasses in your purse. Just in case something happened. And you put your camera in your purse because you are going to take a picture of you by yourself at the beach. 

You then got your pink converse and then you went down and notice that manger oppa was waitng. You then waved and he waved back. You ran to the van and open it and close it. " I like your hair. " manger oppa said. Thank you. you then did the eye smile you did to the unnies. *Cute* thought the samething as the unnies.

You know. You and Tiffany has like a ..... eye smile. manger oppa said. You nodded. " i know. i keep practice on the laptop coping what she is doing so i could have a eye smile. you said. 

Manger oppa was amazed that you took your time learning how to do a eye smile by yourself. You then heard the wheels squeak and then you notice that we     are at where i am going to have a photoshoot with Onew. 

You then put your gray contacts beecause the direrter said i need to wear the gray contacts on the photoshoot. You then finshed putting it on and then you open the door. And then you grab your purse and then you close the door behind you and then you follow after your manger oppa. You spotted some fans waving at you.  You smiled at them and did a eye smile. 

And then you found a couple of boys waving signs about you. You bowed and then did the eye smile . They actullay fainted because of your cuteness. 

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stephanie1138 #1
Chapter 1: Chapter 1: To be frank, I don't really like your writing.
First of all, the characters are boring. They are pratically the same person. They act the same. All of them are nice, good looking and insanely attractive. In short, flawless. It makes your story seems dead. Secondly, you narrate too much. Specifically, you wrote about everything which is very unnecessary. For example, the narration about Minyong's doing in the school. You narrate on her going to school, about her opening the locker, about her being boring in class. You can include them in the story but try to make them less obvious. Don't be too direct. Thirdly, you're making me confused by not sticking to any point of view. At first, you'd addressed Minyoung as 'you' and then as 'I'. It's hard to keep track on who's point of view is it. Because some of the stories out there is written from various characters' point of view.Also, you're using the word 'then' too much in your writing. I see that you try to connect the story using it but you keep repeating it over and over again. Lastly, I don't see the connection of the storyline. It doesn't flow nicely. The plot keep jumping all over the place. Try to be specific in writing the scenario. But don't write too much by writing unnecessary things. You're supposed to make the reader understand what's going on in your story. It able them to visualize the story easily.

Btw, I'm sorry for being harsh with my comment. I'm not trying to bash you with my comment. I just want to point out your flaws in writing so that you can improve them.
You also have your own strengths in writing. What's good about you is your idea. You have a great idea on wrtin it's just that your delivery is still poor. But, it's okay. I know you could improve your writing because I can see your potential as a good writer. I hope you're not going to get hurt by my comment. I'm sorry if my words is too harsh. Thank you and have a nice day.

And congratulations for being featured!
Iminthezone #2
Congrats
agentllama08
#3
Chapter 35: Update please
ShineeLeeJinki
#4
SEQUEL!!
naznew #5
i will read it..
EXOtic123 #6
umm....new reader here. you wrote infinate when its infinite on the foreward and you also used an old u-kiss photo but used the new members name........ but i'll start reading soon^^
unfixed-soul
#7
Sequel because it doesn't make sense to just end it like that.
naznew #8
Gomawo update...
a sequel because you make the story suspended..
LeeMinJi #9
Gomawo for the update :D Sequel please!