Meeting Infinite....

I HAVE A BROTHER!?!

You woke up grab your glasses and took a shower. You then made yourself breakfast. You then saw Sulli. Hi, Unnie~ Could you do me hair? you said. Sure. said sulli. 

10 min. later. 

Sulli finally finished my hair it was so pretty. Thanks Unnie! You said. No problem. she said. 

This what your hair look like:

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You then put make up on you and then you put your uniform on. You then took off your glasses and put brown contacts. You checked if you had everything. Your pills is in your backpack and all you need is your  shoes. 

You took out your ipod and listen to music. You then arrived at school. You then went to your locker and then you grab the books for history and then you went in your class. 

While you were daydreaming you saw that infinite was at the door. You contuied daydreaming and then Infinite waved there hands saying hello to you. They were waiting to you waved. You then look to the left and then you saw that they were waving at you and then you waved back. 

And then Sungjong went to you. Wow... Noona. your hair is so pretty. My name is Sungjong! And i am a kingka! he said. I'm Minyoung-imada! I am a queenka! you said. 

And then infinite heard you and then they were shock that you were a queenka even you were new here. And then the bell rang and the teacher came in. And then Sungjong told me to sit with the kingka so they could introduced to you. And then you did a ok sign. And then you paid attention in class. 

Few hours later: 

The bell rang that means its lunch time. You put your books in you locker and then you closed you locker and then you went in the cafeteria. You then grab the food that you want to eat and then you went to the kingkas table. And then they introduced them self. 

I'm Doojoon! Im Woohyun! Im Hoya! Im Myungsoo~! Im Sungjong! Im Sungyeol! And i am Sunggyu! And i am Minyoung-imada! Please take care of me well~! And then you did your ageyo. 

And then they all blushed. And then you said down next to Sungjong. And then Myungsoo was the first one to speak up. Now that you said please take care of me well. You have to call us Oppa! But, not Sungjong. You could call him anything. He wont mind he said. And then you think of a name for him. 

I will call you Sungjongiee~! you said to Sungjong. And then you ate your lunch when you were done you took your pills in the bathroom. And then you walk out and then the bell rang that means lunch is over. You then walk over to your locker and grab your pe uniform. 

You changed and then you went in the gym. And then you waited for the coach to say what we are playing. And then the coach said that we are playing pin down. You love that game. You could knock every pin near you. And then you ran to the corner and then you waited for the coach to blow the whistle and then it whistle. 

Few minutes later. 

IF a pin was near you. You will knock it down when the person is not looking. And then when you look to your left you saw Myungsoo. He was next to you. You waited when he is trying to knock a pin so you could knock he pin at the same time. And then he rolls the ball to knock down the pin to his left and you rolled the ball to Myungsoo pin. And then the one that Myungsoo rolled was knock down and same thing as Myungsoo. You knock it down. 

You jump up and down with happiness in you. And then Myungsoo gave you a death glare. And then you stopped jumping up and down. 

And then the bell rang that means pe is finished and then you change out of you uniform and then you wore your normal uniform and then you went to vocal class. 

And blah blah blah blah. And then the bell rang and then school was over~ 

 

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This a gift for the people who is reading this: 

This is the gift: 

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stephanie1138 #1
Chapter 1: Chapter 1: To be frank, I don't really like your writing.
First of all, the characters are boring. They are pratically the same person. They act the same. All of them are nice, good looking and insanely attractive. In short, flawless. It makes your story seems dead. Secondly, you narrate too much. Specifically, you wrote about everything which is very unnecessary. For example, the narration about Minyong's doing in the school. You narrate on her going to school, about her opening the locker, about her being boring in class. You can include them in the story but try to make them less obvious. Don't be too direct. Thirdly, you're making me confused by not sticking to any point of view. At first, you'd addressed Minyoung as 'you' and then as 'I'. It's hard to keep track on who's point of view is it. Because some of the stories out there is written from various characters' point of view.Also, you're using the word 'then' too much in your writing. I see that you try to connect the story using it but you keep repeating it over and over again. Lastly, I don't see the connection of the storyline. It doesn't flow nicely. The plot keep jumping all over the place. Try to be specific in writing the scenario. But don't write too much by writing unnecessary things. You're supposed to make the reader understand what's going on in your story. It able them to visualize the story easily.

Btw, I'm sorry for being harsh with my comment. I'm not trying to bash you with my comment. I just want to point out your flaws in writing so that you can improve them.
You also have your own strengths in writing. What's good about you is your idea. You have a great idea on wrtin it's just that your delivery is still poor. But, it's okay. I know you could improve your writing because I can see your potential as a good writer. I hope you're not going to get hurt by my comment. I'm sorry if my words is too harsh. Thank you and have a nice day.

And congratulations for being featured!
Iminthezone #2
Congrats
agentllama08
#3
Chapter 35: Update please
ShineeLeeJinki
#4
SEQUEL!!
naznew #5
i will read it..
EXOtic123 #6
umm....new reader here. you wrote infinate when its infinite on the foreward and you also used an old u-kiss photo but used the new members name........ but i'll start reading soon^^
unfixed-soul
#7
Sequel because it doesn't make sense to just end it like that.
naznew #8
Gomawo update...
a sequel because you make the story suspended..
LeeMinJi #9
Gomawo for the update :D Sequel please!