First day of school (:

I HAVE A BROTHER!?!

You just woke from alarm. It was Monday you have to made food today and first day of school of Seoul High. 

You brush your teeth and then you went in the kitchen and made breakfast for everybody and you. 

When you finished cooking you ate the food that you made for yourself not for everybody and then you put the dishes in the sink and then you went back to your room. 

You then changed into your uniform and then you put makeup and you curled your hair and then you checked the clock it was 8am. School starts at 8:30 so you walk to school now. 

You then got your converse and then headed to school. While you were walking to school you took out your sparkle ipod and started listening to music because  you were getting bored. 

You were always lonely because both your parents and grandparents died. And you never fall in love or have a boyfriend. 

And then boom!! You finally arrived at school. You were shock. The school is so big! You walked in the office and you told them i was the new student and then the office lady gave me a paper that has my classes. 

You look at the paper. You first class is History. So you need to find class 4a. It took you a long time to just find the next class. And then you finally found your class. You then notice that class already started and you just walk in. 

Ah... you are the new student. the teacher said. You nodded. You then went near the teacher and you introduced yourself. My name is Minyoung-imada.! Please take care me well. You smile and you did your ageyo to the class. 

And then the one of the boy said. OMG! She is so pretty (: ~~ And then you winked to the person. I like to dance and sing and i am from f(x)! you said. 

Then the teacher told you to sit in the back next to the group of guys. You obeyed. You look at the boys. You remember them. You saw them at Starbucks outside the cafe. Whats there group name???? oh yeah!!! INFINITE! you thought. 

And then you took your seat. You look at the boys again. Werid that they are the same class as me. You then took out your books and notebook and pencil and took notes. 

While you taking notes and listening to the teacher. One of the boys were looking at you. Myungsoo was looking at you. And then the bell rang and myungsoo jumped a little bit. 

And then you grab you stuff and put it in your back pack. And then you headed to your locker where the paper said. You then punched the numbers and you put your all your books. And then you grab your next books for the next class. Social Studies.  

The bell rang and you went to your next class. You then heard that the teacher said that there were be a new student and you walk in. 

My name is Minyoung-imada! I love dancing and singing and doing my ageyo! And then you did your ageyo. And then the whole class said Aigoo! She is just darn cute. You smiled and then the teacher said you need to go to the back again. And you obeyed. And then you saw the boys again next to you. Werid. how they are always together. 

You then took out your stuff and you take notes. You were having alot of attention and the teacher. And then the bell rang. You were confused why class where short. Or wait.. i know why because i paid in class and it was so good. Ah... i get it. You then grab your books and stuff and put it in the locker. You then grab the books that you need next. IT was math your third favorite. 

You then walk in and you do the introduction again. Even you ageyo but cuter. Then the teacher told you to sit in the back again. And then boys are there too! 

Omg! Its weird that they are mostly in my same class so far. And then same thing as usually take out books and you take notes and then the bell rang. LUNCH TIME! 

You were happy because you were hungry and then you put your books in your locker and you headed to the cafeteria. You got your food and headed to a table by yourself and then you saw FX. You didn't know that they go to school to. So you grab your tray and headed to fx table . 

Hey Unni~~! You said to them. Hey Minyoung! they all said. And you say next to Amber. And you ate your food quietly. So do you like your breakfast that i made for you guys? you said. Ne! they all said. 

Hey Amber! Do you know those boys? you said. Yeah. They are infinite. They are the kingka. Amber said. Who is the queenka??? you said. US.! You are one too! she said. Yes! i get to be a queenka! you said. And fx laughed. 

And then the bell rang. You put your tray away and then you went to your locker and then you got your pe uniform and changed and then you went to the gym. 

The gym teacher introduced to me and i did too. And then you put your hair into a ponytail and then the teacher said that we are playing dodge ball. Boys vs girls. 

Why dodge ball bring back memories when i play dodge ball at my old school. Like minho is the last one. You then scan the boys. And then boom again! Shinee is there and Onew is there. You then waved at them . And onew waved back! 

And then the teacher blew the whistle that mean the game started. And then you got some of the boys. And then the boys got all the girls except you. 

And then you got all the boys except. One person. One of the boys from Infinite. And then strongest one of all. Woohyun. Woohyun threw the ball near your face but you ducked because you don't want you beautiful face be ruined. And then you throw the ball. And you got him! YAY! 

You jump up and down! And then the all the girls hugged you. The boys were sad because they got beated by the girls. And they put there head low. Like they were sad. 

And then you ran up to Onew. Hi Oppa~ I miss you (: you said. Hi Minyoung-ah! he said. So hows Shinee doing? you said. They are fine! You? Onew said. Same here. you said. And then the bell rang. Bye Oppa~! you said and then your ran to your locker grab your uniform and then headed to the next class.

It was Vocal class you best one of all. ( second is pe.) and then you introduced yourself and of course infinite was there. And then the teacher told me to sing a song and i obeyed. And i sang hoot by snsd. And did everything perfect. And then everybody was suprised how good you were. Even the kingkas! 

Then the teacher contuied her lesson. And then the bell rang. IT was your best  first day of school here. And nobody bullied or hurt your feelings. 

You then grab your backpack and headed home. When you were home you told fx what you did on the first day of school~ (: 

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stephanie1138 #1
Chapter 1: Chapter 1: To be frank, I don't really like your writing.
First of all, the characters are boring. They are pratically the same person. They act the same. All of them are nice, good looking and insanely attractive. In short, flawless. It makes your story seems dead. Secondly, you narrate too much. Specifically, you wrote about everything which is very unnecessary. For example, the narration about Minyong's doing in the school. You narrate on her going to school, about her opening the locker, about her being boring in class. You can include them in the story but try to make them less obvious. Don't be too direct. Thirdly, you're making me confused by not sticking to any point of view. At first, you'd addressed Minyoung as 'you' and then as 'I'. It's hard to keep track on who's point of view is it. Because some of the stories out there is written from various characters' point of view.Also, you're using the word 'then' too much in your writing. I see that you try to connect the story using it but you keep repeating it over and over again. Lastly, I don't see the connection of the storyline. It doesn't flow nicely. The plot keep jumping all over the place. Try to be specific in writing the scenario. But don't write too much by writing unnecessary things. You're supposed to make the reader understand what's going on in your story. It able them to visualize the story easily.

Btw, I'm sorry for being harsh with my comment. I'm not trying to bash you with my comment. I just want to point out your flaws in writing so that you can improve them.
You also have your own strengths in writing. What's good about you is your idea. You have a great idea on wrtin it's just that your delivery is still poor. But, it's okay. I know you could improve your writing because I can see your potential as a good writer. I hope you're not going to get hurt by my comment. I'm sorry if my words is too harsh. Thank you and have a nice day.

And congratulations for being featured!
Iminthezone #2
Congrats
agentllama08
#3
Chapter 35: Update please
ShineeLeeJinki
#4
SEQUEL!!
naznew #5
i will read it..
EXOtic123 #6
umm....new reader here. you wrote infinate when its infinite on the foreward and you also used an old u-kiss photo but used the new members name........ but i'll start reading soon^^
unfixed-soul
#7
Sequel because it doesn't make sense to just end it like that.
naznew #8
Gomawo update...
a sequel because you make the story suspended..
LeeMinJi #9
Gomawo for the update :D Sequel please!