Sunggyu couldn’t sleep that night. It wasn’t the couch or the coldness of the living room. It was simply a case of a lot of things running through his head. It hurt him, and sickened him to be this powerless, getting help from the only person he used to trust. The same person, although he didn’t want to say this, was the reason he was wounded with a few broken ribs at the first place.

Woohyun.

But to be frank, Sunggyu had told himself not to blame Woohyun. And he didn’t want the others to blame him too. The regret was apparent in his eyes. How he woke up every few minutes to check up on Sunggyu and making sure he was sleeping comfortably. How he would ran from the kitchen ten metres away to help Sunggyu get the remote only a metre away from the couch he was on.

Sunggyu appreciated that. The help that is. But he had enough. He couldn’t just lie down and let his dongsaengs do everything. He was the leader after all.

A low light streamed into the living room as one of the door in the hallway opened. Sunggyu closed his eyes back and pretended to be asleep. He heard Hoya’s voice from the kitchen asking someone if he was asleep.

Another voice murmured a yes before he felt the blanket on his stomach pulled to his chest. Dongwoo.

“Hyung?” Woohyun’s hoarse voice reached his ears. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Hoya and I just finished checking on the files. It’s okay, just sleep, Woohyun.”

“Is Sunggyu hyung asleep?” He heard Woohyun asked again.

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

The couch creaked on the opposite of his couch, telling him Hoya was getting comfortable then a minute later, the living room was back in darkness as the door of Dongwoo and Hoya’s room closed.

Sunggyu opened his eyes back and turned his face slightly to peek at Woohyun. His eyes trailed Woohyun’s features. His tousled brown bangs were covering one of his eyes as he hugged a pillow to his chest and with half of his face buried in the pillow he was lying on. Trailing his face with his eyes, Sunggyu stopped at his lips. The lips that once kissed him and how he then pushed the owner of the lips roughly, telling it was a lie. A rebound wasn’t something Sunggyu wanted to be. 

His eyes stopped again at the strong jaw line. Then he spotted the gun on the table between their couches. Woohyun was getting prepared and also with what happened in Sungjong’s room recently, Sunggyu knew they were vulnerable than ever.

The people who caught him were probably the one that did it. His hands fisted his blanket as he gritted his teeth. Sunggyu couldn’t let it happen again. His injuries was enough, none of his dongsaengs should get hurt too.

Pushing his blanket to his feet, Sunggyu forced his body to move as he wanted. A bone probably popped in him because the pain was creeping on his ribs and to his lungs. Taking a deep breath, Sunggyu got to his feet. He silently thanked god he hadn’t forgotten how to balance himself and walk.

“Hyung?” He heard Woohyun’s voice behind him. Sunggyu decided on ignoring because he knew the younger would only try to stop him. He tried walking away but his feet were caught on the tangled mess of his blanket that had fallen on the floor. Woohyun grabbed his arm, forcing Sunggyu to face him.  “Where are you going?”

“Let go,” he flailed his arm away from Woohyun and his heels, succeeding only to trip and fell backwards on to the blunt edges of the living room table. A sharp piercing pain shot up his spine and probably the rest of his body as Sunggyu bite his lower lip to silence his screams.

It was either his injuries were getting worse or another rib was broken.

Sunggyu fell to his knees as he swallowed the metallic liquid flowing from his lower lip. Woohyun shouldn’t see the blood. The younger had seen enough from before.

“Hyung!” Panicked were evident in his voice as he went to Sunggyu’s side. With one hand wiping the blood flowing down his chin, he saw the blood and another behind Sunggyu’s body to help him up, Woohyun supported the older to his feet.

“Shut up. I don’t want to wake the others.”

“But you just fell!”

“I don’t need-“ Sunggyu coughed once and tried to continue but couldn’t as the coughing was getting worse and drier. He fell to his knees again when a mouthful of blood flowed from his mouth onto the floor, staining the pearl coloured tiles with a red pool.

Woohyun had the sudden urge of hitting the man in front of him for his stupid stubbornness but his heart softened, and hurt in a way he didn’t know how to explain to be a witness once again of Sunggyu getting hurt.

Slowly, and softly, he pulled Sunggyu’s body in to his and buried his face on the crook between Sunggyu’s neck and right shoulder.

Sunggyu was stunned and beyond disbelief when Woohyun suddenly back hugged him. He felt Woohyun’s breaths against his neck and dropped his eyes to the arms around his waist. He didn’t know what to do.

“You’re hurting me in ways you could never possibly imagine, hyung...” Woohyun’s voice begged on his ears.

Hurt? Hurt. The older repeated in his mind.

Sunggyu suddenly had the horrible flashbacks of the men that stumped and tramped on his body after Woohyun left him to go to Dongwoo. And it hurts like hell. Physically and emotionally. He was bleeding and choking on his own blood. He wanted to fight back but the drug in his system wouldn’t let him. And none of them actually knew how his mind was elsewhere while they beat the hell out of him ruthlessly.

Sunggyu had felt close to death but all his mind could think was if Woohyun had safely arrived at Dongwoo and Hoya. If Woohyun thought about him while he was there. If Woohyun even cared if he died. That’s how emotionally hurt he was because he knew all of the answers were ‘No’.

So even when Sunggyu opened his eyes to see Woohyun, who didn’t go too far than a few tens of kilometres before coming back to the house and back to him, it was too late because everything had happened. He had broken a few ribs and all parts of his body were numb from the pain. Sunggyu found it funny he could even feel pain from the so much numbness.

Woohyun coming back didn’t change anything because he did left. Woohyun coming back didn’t make the hurt he felt any lesser.

So he didn’t have any rights to talk about being hurt with him.

Woohyun’s arms around his waist loosened. “So please, just let me-“

“So does it hurt?” Sunggyu interjected.

Woohyun raised his face to meet with Sunggyu’s firm back. “...what?”

Sunggyu turned his face slightly. “Does it hurt? The feeling you’re feeling right now? The feeling of being ignored of your existence? The feeling of being betrayed?” He spat.

“...hyung...”

Sunggyu pulled Woohyun’s arms away from his waist and stood up, staggering.  He didn’t know why he felt this emotional. He turned to face Woohyun very slowly and raised his face when Woohyun rose to his feet. He saw the fingers of his right hand stained with his own blood.

Sunggyu diverted his eyes back to meet with Woohyun’s. “From now on, we are nothing more than co-workers. You are just a teammate and we are no more best friends. If you like, we can call ourselves strangers.”

Woohyun blinked. “Sung-“

“I can’t afford of being hurt again. I can’t afford of making any of us hurt. And I can’t afford my mind thinking of stupid emotions involving you. I’ve given up, Woohyun and I hope you’re happy. I don’t know if I can trust you anymore so... I’m sorry. Let’s just... focus on getting those people out of our backs.”

With that he turned and made his way to his room that had been vacant for a few days. Sunggyu closed the door and leaned against it, breathing heavily. He fell to the floor and buried his face to his knees. Sunggyu gripped the piece of clothing dotted with his blood on his chest. It hurts so much. He didn’t know walking for a few steps would hurt this much.

He didn’t know his own words would hurt himself this much.

so sunggyu had decided he had enough. sob sob. dont know who's sadder, him or woohyun.