Key's POV

      “Jonghyun!” He didn’t stop, and just got farther and farther away. I started walking after him, but realized from his big strides I was going to lose him. I started running after him. What was up with him? Was he smoking something? I finally caught up with him and put my hand on his shoulder, panting.

       “Kim Jonghyun, you better explain to me what this is about,” I said, slightly out of breath. He didn’t stop and grabbed my wrist. “Ow!” I snapped, not so much because it hurt but more from surprise.

       His expression had changed. I noticed throughout our grocery trip that he was troubled. He always looked lost in thought, always seemed to be arguing with himself. Something was happening with Jonghyun, and it was happening now. However, his expression had changed from the shopping trip. During then he was just troubled; now he seemed determined.

       “Where are we going, Jjong? Answer me!” His grip just tightened. He remained silent, continuing to stride quickly through the streets.

       “Please, Jjong, wait!” He whipped around, his face angry and hurt. I was shocked at his temper. How had he changed so quickly? A minute ago, he was fine. Was it something I said to make him angry? “Please, stop. Tell me what’s wrong.” I begged him to stop. He didn’t, but dragged my hand.

       “Hyung…” My voice trailed off but he didn’t answer. Again. He kept going. “Please, where are we going?” He ignored it again. I shut up, knowing he wouldn’t speak. I allowed him to bring me to whatever place we were headed. We turned through a couple of streets and cut through a park. The park was pretty deserted; not many people out today, as it was really cold. It seemed likely to snow anytime soon.

       He slowed down a bit in the park. He twisted and turned, seeming to go deeper and deeper into trees. Where were all these trees coming from? I just followed, a bit confused, a bit dazed, a bit hurt. I wriggled my wrist a bit, and I felt his fingers loosen and he let go. “Thanks.” I muttered and he neared to a stop.

       He sighed and he finally stopped at a bench. It was old, dirty. I frowned and didn’t sit, but he pulled me down. I shuddered. The area was deserted. Our company were trees, bushes, grass. He must have something big to tell me, I decided, to pick an isolate place like this. He looked down, his gaze fixated on his shoes.

       “Jjong.” I touched his hand lightly. “What are we doing? What is going on? Whatever is bothering you, tell me. I’ll help you, I promise.”

       When the words left my lips he looked up at me with hopeful eyes.

       “You… you promise?” He whispered. I nodded firmly.

       “You’re my best friend.” I said, trying to comfort him.

       “Yeah… best friend. Just best friend.” He repeated, his voice hollow. “Kibum…” He said, starting. I listened.

       “Kibum… I…” I felt his fingers close around mine again. “I…” He gave my hand a bit of a squeeze. I pretended not to notice  his strength and how it hurt.

       “It’s okay. Say it, I promise not to get mad.” I said gently. He looked up at me, and flashed a worried smile. I smiled back reassuringly, or at least tried to.

      “Kibum…” He took a breath. “I… want to be more than best friends.” He said in one big breath. He glanced up at me, but I was confused.

       “I… I don’t understand…” I stuttered. It didn’t make sense. My mind drew a blank.

       “Kibum… I...” He looked up to the sky, as if for help, for hope. He looked back down at me, and studied my eyes. His gaze wavered, and his lips were pressed in a worried line. “I have known you for a long time. I remember the day we met, back when we were trainees. I remember seeing you for the first time, unknowing you were going to be in SHINee also. You were talking to Taemin, having met him first. You were laughing, smiling. I remember my heart starting to pound, my breath becoming shallow. I didn’t know why at the time. Now I do. My feelings have remained the same, if not grown, over the years. You’re now my best friend. Everyday, I endure living with you, talking to you, knowing how much I love you and that you might not. Your smile takes my breath away, you  very presence makes my heart beat. You understand me, and when I’m with you I feel like nothing else in the world matters. I know it sounds cliché, but Kibum… I love you.”

       My mouth dropped. Jonghyun… I swallowed hard. With no answer from me, he looked back down. His face was red and his expression changed. He looked really heartbroken.

       “Jjong…” I whispered. “I love you… a-as a friend.” My words were broken.

       “But…” His voice was strained. “I love you more than as a friend.” He looked up at me, his eyes hurt and watering.

       “Jjong,” I sighed. “I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you… but I can’t… you’re my best friend, isn’t that enough?” I said, almost pleadingly. He frowned.

       “Why can’t you love me?” He said, now said.

       “I—I just don’t… Sunny, she’s…” At the mention of her name, his expression turned dark. “I love her, Jjong.” I said finally, with a bit of a sigh.

       He didn’t answer.

       “She means everything to me. As do you. But in a different way.” My voice was gentler now. I didn’t want to upset him.  What could I do? I lived with Jonghyun, it’s not like I could avoid him. But with his feelings for me, our lives would be awkward.

       “I don’t want to lose you. Please accept my apology, but I really don’t think of you as more than a friend. Can we… pretend this never happened?” I said hopefully. Jonghyun was my best friend. I knew him better than everyone else in SHINee. I didn’t want to lose him, I wanted to have things back the way they were.

Jonghyun’s POV

       “Can we pretend this never happened?” Key brought out his cute voice. My heart clenched again. Forget? How could I forget the love of my life? The one I had kept quiet about for years and years?

       “Ne.” I said quietly and managed a fake smile. It seemed convincing enough and Key smiled also.

       “I’m happy.” He said, and stood up. He offered his hand and I took it as I stood up. He quickly brushed himself off and we walked home. Mostly in silence.

       I felt a more happy air around Kibum, which made me happy. If he was happy, I suppose I should be too. But my heart was unsatisfied. 

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Finally! the confession! faster update, enjoy~~~