"Wen? Hello?" Mir poked me childishly in the cheek, trying get my attention

I slowly turned my head, with my chin still resting on my  palm

"You seem really distant today" pointed out Lee Joon, flopping down with a pillow on the floor.

I smiled meekly, saying I was just tired from the filming earlier today.  Thankfully they went along with that excuse, and put on a movie.

It had been months since Jay had left, six and a half to be exact.

The first month was hell, I put on a nice attitude though and believed he would come back. The second, I did my best to continue on with my idol lifestyle. The public didn't say a thing, clueless about how badly I was torn apart. Even 2PM didn't even know to what I extent I was hurting.

"So, you and G- Dragon are quite the -uhm- duo" muttered Khun

"We aren't together." I clarified, knowing exactly what he was incinuating

"It's just that your new collection for iMpress is called Jiyong, and he has written your newest single, and you do spend a lot of time at the YG Bu-"

I dropped the dish I was washing into the sink dramatically,

"Khun. We are not dating. Yes, he has asked me out, many times to be honest, but I don't want him like that.".

He raised his hands in surrender, "Ok! I believe you"

I doubt he did though.

Looking back, I wondered if I should have given Jiyong a chance. After all, half a year later I am still alone, with only a weak promise that was wearing thinner by the day.

After the third month; I started to become my old self, but not in a positive way. My ignorance to emotions, and people began to kick in. I was becoming that heartless women, who had dozens of walls around her, refusing anyone to come close.

Those walls, that Jay had worked so hard to break down to come and save me.

Tonight I went to the boys dorm to stay in Jays room. I spent just as much time there as I did at my own place. I wasn't feeling up for a social gathering, and thankfully just Khun was home.

"Hey noona" Khun gave me a hug, and kiss on the cheek hello.

"Hi Bunny, long day?" I asked

He sighed and nodded yes, "The usual. The guys have all gone out but I'm was too tired so here I am. You?"

"I just had filming, and an interview today. I dropped by MBLAQ's  for a little bit to watch a movie, than came home after. "

I decided to make us a late night meal. Khun and I ate the ramen in silence at the counter.

The interview from this morning kept playing over in my mind,

"eMpress, what are the toughest parts about being an idol?" questioned the women talkshow host

"It's very busy, and that effects every other part of my life. I find it tough to see my friends and have time for myself." I replied

"How about being in a relationship, having been with Park Jaebeom and possibly G- Dragon? What is that like"

The audience chattered in surprise about the relationship with Jiyong. I was equally shocked, since we weren't. Where the hell do these people get their information.

I cleared my through, ready to kill some rumors, but really I just fuelled the fire.

"It is one of the most difficult parts. You really have to love eachother for it to work. So if you are apart for three years and three hundred thousand kilometers, you'll still feel like you fell in love yesterday"

The host let out some cute sighs, along with the viewers

"If you truly love someone you don't stop, can't stop" I added, beginning to get a bit choked up. This wasn't about Jiyong at all; it was all Jay.

I needed to learn how to take my own advice.

I always seemed unplugged from the world, withdrawn and running on 10% battery.  Many a time I would fall asleep, and not remember how I got there. I just went trough the motions nowadays, with the only relief being with Khun. Jiyong still chased me with his feelings, hoping persistence would work, but it made me be even more cautious and reserved.

Eventually I said goodnight to Khun, and got ready for bed. Bed nowadays was more like a nap, seeing as my schedule for the next day started in a few hours.

I shuffled across the hall from the bathroom, and got some paper stuck to my foot. I tried to flick it off, but I failed. I reached down with my hand to remove it but stopped when I noticed it wasn't a scrap. I ran my fingers over the words 'for you' scribbled on the paper. Was the room this messy, that I had not noticed this sooner? Shocked, I swallowed down the sadness in my throar and read the small message underneath on the outisde,

DO NOT OPEN UNTIL MARCH 9. I mean it Wen

Unfolding the once crisp letter, I read it

Wen,

If you have behaved and waited to open this, then happy anniversary. It's hard to belive its been that long.

It hurts to write this, knowing that I won't be able to say these things in person to you. Know that I am so proud of you, seeing you being so successful as an artist, and grow into such a great idol. It makes me even more glad when I tell my friends and family about my girlfriend. Yes, I still always call you that, whether you still think of me that way.

I miss you like crazy. I had to write, seeing as we cannot talk normally. Then again, it's not like we ever could. Luckily my umma went to the dorm about a month after I left, and brought back some of my things. I asked her to leave this behind. I know that if you spend as much time at 2PM's still, you'll find this no problem.

One day, I will be back in Korea. I have not forgotten my promise. Again, happy aniversaty jagiya.

All my love,

Jay

 

I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I didn't even feel sad. I for once felt like there was hope.

How could I have missed seeing his mother? I spent most of my time in this room. Thinking again, my amounts of free time were minimal actually so I was rarely home. I quickly peered into a few of the drawers to see that a lot of Jay's clothes and trinkets were gone. If I had been able to see her, maybe I could have written him and given the message to her.

Wait; who said I couldn't do that now.

It was about time I returned the favour, since Jay always was leaving me hand written things.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jay's Perspective

Since the day I came home, the day I was in the airport, the fans never stopped sending letters. The support I recieved was more than I had ever deserved, or hoped for. It felt good to be home, but it was under bad circumstances.

I was finishing reading a fan letter from Korea, and reached for the final one of the day. It wasn't anything too fascinating, probably the opposite. It was quite small and simplistic, but hey, don't judge a book by its cover. The return address, well there wasn't one. Now i was getting intrigued. I opened the envelope, interested in what it said

Dear Mr. Jay Park

Going by the neat thin and curly writing, it was a girl. More specifically a women since she used Mr., and an English speaker because she used Jay.

I still think about the first time I saw you perform on stage at Strong Heart. It made me really proud of you.

She has been a fan for a long time.

More specifically, I remember seeing you before the show. You were so smooth and calm that it made me nervous

Correction; sasaeng. 

Though I admire you're talents, there are things I can't stand about you.  

Fan? Sasaeng? Anti? Pick one already.

First of all, find a better place for your 'magazines' than under the bed.

Lots of men do that, but how did they know that's what I did. I never had taken a sasaeng home, or even really had any honestly. I just kept reading, wanting to know what else this crazy person had to say.

Learn to cook things other than instant ramen. You can't live off of that; and spaghetti.

Nothing wrong with simple foods, but how-

Don't even get me started on your driving.

Ok, the first few sentences were flattering but now it was just creepy. Who wrote this?

These things are all little things. Above them all, I can't stand that you believe that I could ever stop thinking of you. I wear your ring on my finger, and the locket around my neck.

This is impossible. No one knew- It couldn''t be her...

This isn't something someone who has given up would do. I'm still being patient, waiting for you. See you soon in Korea.

Love Always, Guinevere Graydon

Wen: it really was her. I wasn't imagining things I wanted to see, or things I wanted to hear. She really did still love me, still believed in me.

Long ago, when my mom had gone to get some of my things. I had asked her to drop off a letter, hoping secretly that maybe she'd even run into Wen. I had told her all about Wen, for this reason. Unfortunately when she came back, she said she hadn't met her.

I knew I would be returning to Korea one day, I didn't know when though. How long could she hold on? I knew she had learned to face the world again, but could I do the same? She always was the risk taker.

Hopefully it wouldn't be too late. I was sure I would keep my promise to her.

Love really did make a person do crazy things.