Sweet mother of pearl was this outfit extravagant. Guess I should've expected this, since it is my first official performance as eMpress. I had assumed I'd be wearing  the dress from the music video; not really. Yes; it still had the light chiffon fabric with peach blossoms, but no; the barefoot look was replaced with spike heels, and the iness level was amped up by over 9000. They had shortened the dress -to a level that touched on tramp in my opinion- and airbrushed on spiralling black and gold designs from my neck down to my left wrist. I actually kind of liked that part, it matched my tattoo which was a bonus.

I lounged in the waiting room, anticipating my stage call. I couldn't help but be anxious. Not about performing, but about lying. Lying to the people that this is who I am, but more so lying to myself that I was ok with it. I didn't just sign my talent to the company; but my identity, who would ever know the real one? And if they did see the girl who falls down flights of stairs, and trips into swimming pools, than why would they ever have reason to  believe it, since this y siren could never truly be that. It just became an endless circle, of what was the cover up versus the original version.

I sighed loudly while dropping my head, alone in the room. Jay hadn't come. I hadn't see him at all, not even at JYP this morning. I felt wetness on my skin, making me see how much this upset me.

The door creaked open loudly, and a head popped in the lounge and began to hiss loudly,

"Pst, Wen! Wen Graydon! Champion Pillow Fighter!"

I looked fully at the figure, and smiled; it was Khun. He had come to see me.

"Bunny!" I gave him the biggest hug possible, without toppling over in my monstrous shoes. "You came!"

"Why wouldn't I come see my best friend? Where's Jay sitting?" asked Khun

My joy from his arrival dimmed, "He didn't show up"

Khun wrapped me in his arms again with another hug. I had stopped being emotional before he came, but he still knew I was bothered by the fact.

"eMpress in five. Make your way to the stage.*

"That's me" I said, smoothing down the dress as I shuffled through the hall to the stage.

All the crew were busy broadcasting, I could hear the crowd already wailing at the host's preamble about me.

"Good luck Wen. I know you'll wow them." comforted Khun, giving me a sweet smile. I returned it as I attached my mic. 

"Thanks for coming again. I couldn't have gotten here without you" I whispered, suddenly feeling nervous about not just performing but what I'd said.

I didn't see it coming. He was too close, too quickly. Khun slammed his lips against mine, making my eyes stay open the entire time out of confusion and surprise. He instantly pulled away within seconds, hopefully getting some common sense.

"I-I- had to." stuttered Khun, slowly backing away with his head down and his face tense.

All I could do was choke out a few syllables and scrunched facial expressions. I couldn't let this invade my thoughts; the music had started. This was my time to make my mark.

The lights hit me as I strutted out on stage. The wave of screams and cheers crashed down with such strength I had trouble getting used to it. I hope Mun-Hee was feeling better than I was.

This is me; your eMpress. Now, let me tell you how just like that; things can change. For the better, and the worse

The crowd yelled even louder at the opening dialogue. At least it gave me an opportunity to calm down a bit. By the time I got to the last chorus, the audience was chanting along with me, and waving signs plus what appeared to be glittering crowns.

Life, Life can change
In a flash

Now it was time for my big dance moment with Mun-Hee. This part involved him wearing a blindfold, which I removed before the last line, ending the song.

It began well, we were vey synchronized with our movements. I sang the last words

...in a flash

I then ripped off Mun-Hee's blindfold as we had rehearsed, only to be utterly dumbfounded.

It was Jay.

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Nichkhun's Perspective

Jay had mentioned being out today, but I had assumed it was because he was going to Musicbank. Guess not, considering I was the one backstage supporting Wen.

She had this look on her face, the same look from when she had ran out the door after fighting with Jay. It clearly was hurting her a lot that he wasn't there; she had complete reason for being upset over it.

I felt it bubbling inside me, my feelings for her. I couldn't control myself, so I kissed her. Her lips were unmoving concete against mine, so I pulled away realizing what an idiot I am. Telling her I loved her didn't change anything, so what compelled me to believe a kiss would. It's because I am helplessly in love with her; even though she isnt mine.

I risked seeing her reaction, anticipating a blasting yell, but it didn't come. Her face was just contorted into odd expressions and she stammered out random sounds. She left quickly, hearing the music begin to play. I stood there, bolted in place thinking about what happened.

I detached myself from my spot backstage, and finally moved to the lounge to watch Wen perform. She looked stunning on the screen, the audience absolutely loved her. I couldn't help but compare her performance to the time at the beach and studio, before she was made into factory produced performer. She was still a beautiful dancer and singer, but I could see in her eyes that she didn't feel a thing. Emotion for her craft was not there anymore, only the drive to succeed.

By now, her number was almost done. She was doing a very fast paced series of turns with her lead dancer. I was impressed by her partner, because he was doing it blindfolded. Wen ripped away the blindfold to end the performance. I had to restrain myself from running on stage to see for myself, because her lead dancer was Jay. When did he switch out with her original dancer? When did he even get here? How did he get here? I was suppose to be at a press conference with 2PM, but I had been able to skip out to wish Wen luck. Figured Jay had been here the entire time, that sneaky bastard.

Wen made her way backstage with Jay. She was absolutely stunned, in complete disbelief.

"But Mun-Hee...You? How did..." she trailed off, not sure where to even start with the questions.

"As soon as you told me you were performing, I had this idea. I talked with JYP and he approved. Then Mun-Hee taught me the last chorus, and the plan was ready." explained Jay. Did he try hard for her, or what. I knew she was a simple girl, who didn't enjoy being out of the loop.

Wen didn't even smile at this, whispering "I need some time alone"

I looked at Jay over Wen's head, giving him a quizzical look. We both were unsure why she was so morose, after a flawless performance on one of the biggest music shows.

Wen gave a small wave with her fingers as she walked away.

"That was weird" I stated, tossing Jay a water bottle. "Her performance was great, so why is she so upset?"

Jay winced, "Because she's Wen; the most unpredictable and complex women. Odds are it has nothing to do with the show, but some deeply rooted thing she's arguing over in her mind."

Oh no. Was my kiss the thing that made her so feel so conflicted?

"Let's go see if she is ok" suggested Jay. I agreed, as we began trying to find where Wen went. That's a tounge twister.

Not in the dressing room, lounge, or backstage. I saw the service staircase's door was open, so I motioned Jay to follow. Running up three flights of stairs, we finally came to the end. The door at the top opened up to the roof, and sure enough there was Wen, leaning against the railing by the edge.

"I knew I should've picked a better hiding place" joked Wen, hearing our foot steps.

"Do you want to talk?" muttered Jay, her hair from her face. It hurt to see him touch her like that, because I wanted to just as badly.

"Yes...." Wen didn't turn her back, but kept staring at the horizon. She didn't even show a sign of unsureness with the next sentence, "But with Khun."

Jay immediately stopped trying to comfort her, and just wore a look of absolute bewilderment. I was equally as confused; why me?

"Ok?... I'll be in the lounge when you're ready to leave" Jay stalked away to the stairway door, turning back to see if Wen would show any type of emotion. She was being so cold tonight, especially to the person she was warmest with.

With a clunk, the door swung shut from the wind. I gazed down into her eyes, searching for the hint of motive behin her attitude.

That's when the tears began to stream down her face, leaving glitening tracks on her cheeks. She didn't gulp, and hiccup like how most cry; she was silent. After minutes of this, she finally spoke

"I'm going to lose him, aren't I"

"What do you mean?" I asked, because of her vague statement.

"Jay. He'll stop loving me" she hushed

"Once you love someone-" I took a deep breath "You don't stop. Can't stop"

She turned her side to the sky, and faced me. I knew the bare minimal about her old life, and there was clearly a lot I was missing. Her eyes were swimming with the ghosts of her past, haunting her with the littlest things.

"When I arrived to perform, and Jay didn't show, I was disappointed. Before joining the company we already didn't have much time together, and now even less now that I am." She paused as I tried to dry off her cheeks with my sleeve. "It absolutely kills sometimes when we can't see or talk with one another. Wouldn't we be better off alone, not having to stretch our feelings out? I really care for him, but it is just so difficult."

It made me sad that she was this concerned about her relationship. Jay adored her beyond words. He even got a tattoo for her, whether she knows it or not yet.

"Any relationship will be tested and stretched, whether over time, distance, or both. You have to wade it out, and see where life takes you. Just keep in mind why you started the journey in the first place, and you'll get to your destination" I took her hand, which she shyly held. I could barely feel it within mine.

She let go. I was doing it again; only thinking of my feelings instead of hers. She loved Jay, not me.

"This will sound silly, but I had this crazy fantasy when we first met Khun. I secretly hoped that my bag would explode, and then I'd make it up by taking you out for lunch, so I could get to know you." She laughed sadly, "How dumb was I, thinking destiny would work for me. That's exactly what I'm worrying about once I think about it; destiny versus choice. Will it all work out if I make the right choices, or am I doomed to be a screw up regardless"

The last bit of her thoughts were blurred out by the beginning words. This wasn't helping me stop thinking of her romantically.

"Well, what if we had gone out for lunch. Maybe we would've become friends like now, maybe we wouldn't have. You might have met Jay, and might not have. The future can't be seen as a big picture, not with details anyways. For all you could know, if we had gone out for a meal that day we could have runaway and moved to Thailand together."

Wen smiled with just her lips, "That wouldn't be bad actually." She began wandering around the rooftop, before coming right back to where she had started. She sighed heavily,  "This idol life is what I expected; not for me. What do I do Bunny?"

"You are beautiful, successful, and have people that love you as Wen; not eMpress. You stay, that's what you do. I know you can make the best of this jagiya" I instantly wished that I could retract my words; I just called her jagiya by mistake. I hope she didn't get that part of Korean titles. Knowing her though, she knew perfectly well.

"You're right -I would, and should never walk out on someone" declared Wen, "We really should get going, Jay is waiting."

I thought the same, so we began the climb down the never ending stairs.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jay's Perspective

Khun and Wen were on the roof for what seemed like hours. I had taken my time coming down the stairs, knowing I'd be extremely anxious and impatient. Why did she want to speak with Khun? Did he know something I didn't?

Finally Wen appeared in the doorway, still looking frazzled. In silence, the three of us headed back to the JYP  building.

During the drive, Wen of course fell asleep. I carried her in through a back entrance, knowing she wouldn't want any one seeing her like this. Khun sped ahead, saying he had some personal project to work on. I didn't object, seeing as I hadn't been alone with my girlfriend for ages.

I carried her small floppy figure to the dorm, an laid her in my bed. I slipped off her fancy dress form the performance, and hung it up before changing myself. Still sound asleep, I got in bed beside her.

*buzz, buzz, buzz*

Wen's phone was going off. I had sat it just beside the bed, so I answered it hoping she wouldn't wake up by chance. Turns out it was a reminder to buy new watercolurs. I swiped my finger to turn it off, but the web page she had open stopped me. It was an article on a gossip site about her. I read it to myself, and immediately a concotion of emotions began brewing.

I was aware of Wen's friendship with the rest of 2PM, and the two members of MBLAQ, but this article made me question what their real intentions were. It seemed the rapper Mir had a crush on her along with the visual Lee Joon. Junho and her were just friends, but Khun... He had been there for her, honestly more than I had been lately. Have I unintentionally been giving Khun opporutnity to try and woo her? Regardless, the proof that other men were attracted to her was undeniable. They don''t know her like I do though, nor do they love her like I do.

Maybe this is why she was so distant tonight; she was thinking about this article, about us being together.

Tomorrow we would film the recap episode of Idol Army, where the award for 'Best Idol' is awarded, ending the series. I'd be sure to bring Wen to be in the audience, so we could spend some time together. Sure, not the ideal, but we were together. This gave me all the more reason to stop freaking out, and go to sleep already.

I got this sweet conforting feeling, seeing Wen's hand resting on my side with the tattoo. She was right, everthing I did really was for her,