Somi and I were co-trainees at JYP Entertainment and somewhere along the way, hard times resulted to rash decisions. 

We shared the same dream. We laughed. We teased each other. We cried together. We were happy. But suddenly everything changed. Fame cost us our frienship, or in my case, it cost me her. 

Now after so many years we meet again, yet my heart still beats for her. I still long for her warmth, her laugh, her smile. I've always liked her. And everyday I wondered if she'll ever like me too.

***

“Give. Me. The. Freaking. Camera!!” I shouted at Dongho as he raised it above his head, way out of my reach. We were practicing in one of the rooms, but at the moment, we decided to take a break. We've been casually doing this for about 10 minutes now and my preconceived feeling of Dongho possibly  slaughtering and tearing me to eight equally divided parts has subsided. One of the producers of the show appears in our sight and tells us to gather along with the rest of the boys. Dongho finally gives me back the camera, much to his dismay, and pushes me by the shoulder to the direction of the room. 

The moment we arrived, my hands instantly shot up to cover my mouth in shock. 

"Oh my god! What? Oh my god!" Samuel gasped. 

I would, too, if I was Samuel. In front of us were three members of I.O.I. I was even more shocked to see Somi as one of the guests. It's been what, Three? Four years? Since we last saw of each other. 

“Yah!! They're so pretty, it's unbelievable. Wah!! Somebody pinch me. Jisung-ssi pinch m-- Oww!!” Hyunbin said, which made the whole room erupt in laughter. Including Somi, Sohye and Yoo-jung. 

Gaaah. Somi looks so beautiful as always. 

"Okay, boys. The reason we invited them over is because, they'll be featured in our next episode. Which means that they'll be filming with us." 

Once again, the whole room erupted in cheers for the three girls standing in front of us. A series of questions being thrown back and forth between my co-trainees and them really had them going.

After the meeting has ended, I got up, patted to remove the non-existed dirt on the back of my jeans and chased Ren and Dogho down to the practice room.  

Upon arriving, Sewoon, being the leader-- or in his case, being a future CEO--, asked us to run the song again as we'd practiced, but seeing Somi after a long time really didn’t help me through the rehearsal anymore. 

I know this happens every time she reunites with me but this particular moment, I seemed to mind because those chasing moments were ages ago.

Every once in a while, either Ren, Dongho or Sewoon will stop to ask me if I'm feeling alright and I'm going to be on full stop too, spaced  away from them to before actually replying with a solid answer of, " Yes.", because to be honest, I'm not quite sure of what I'm feeling today, myself. 

I got tired from belting out to the song so I walked over back to where I previously sat hours before the producers went to us, while looking afar. 

Again, a producer called me out and said that I'm needed for a short interview.

“So, how are you feeling?" One of the producers asked me. 

I looked at him and gave him a smile. Quite a smile, yet it didn't reach my eyes.

"I don't think I'll ever be as much happier as this." I replied as honest as I could. 

"Somi and you were co-trainees at JYP Ent., right?", I nodded, "So tell us something about that." 

“Okay, okay. Somi and I did a lot of fun stuffs together. I don't know.. What else? Uhmm.. I guess you could say we have a past? Not a romantic type of past like, she’s my best friend, and I'm her best friend.  She's really special so..." 

The producer laughed. I guess he felt how awkward it was for me to talk about someone I've lost contact with for the last few years.  He then raised two of his fingers signalling for one of his assistants and I heard that he was calling for Somi. 

Oh God. I mentally thought.

I instantly tensed up at the thought of doing and interview with her and backed away once her silhouette showed up. I looked at her, deadpanned. 

“What again do I have to do?” I asked.

***

“Ughhh.” I groaned whilst repeatedly smacking my face with my pillow. Seonho asks me what was wrong  as he curled his lips and proceeds to  laugh at how idiotic I possibly looked. 

“Alright,” I answered and I swore my heart pounded a thousand times louder and faster. I didn’t know why I became suddenly nervous.

"Oh gosh. Why am I being so nervous around you? It's not like you're actually the person I like? Oh gosh. This is bad. What? Stop staring at me like that. You byeongari... Yah!! Stop that look!" I rambled. 

"Mianhae! Mianhae! You looked so eager and funny and serious all at the same time! You looked so constipated." Seonho apologized while still laughing. 

This chicken I swear.

"Yah!! I'd hit you but that would be animal abuse. Ugh. This is useless. I'm to going to go get some fresh air."

***

“Somi? What are you doing here?” I ask as she stood still.

“Fresh air. Yoo-jung set me up with a guy. You know how that makes me feel. You?” She answered and I smiled at her innocence and how girly she appeared. I nodded and smiled and my heartbeat went like boom box again. I don’t understand why things like this happen. I’ve been like this for quite a while now-- since they've been here for almost a week and I keep on seeing her wherever I looked-- and every time I see her I just constantly ignore it.

“Same." 

“You know, Daehwi, I can't help but feel as though you're ignoring me.” She said and I looked to the ground, recalling that particular memory of us both making rash decisions. Does she not remember? 

“You seem happy. Anyway, is this guy good?” I asked protectively, albeit I was quite sad at the fact that she was going out with someone else. 

“Yeah, I think he is,” She said looking at her nails.

“Do you like him?”

“He's okay.. I guess."

“Why?” I asked, although quite possibly I am asking her a different thing.

“What is it to you? Why do you keep on asking,” She said as I smiled at her .

“I can’t help! I’m the best friend here, being the best friend!” I said and she laughed. I couldn't help but stare at her. It was the littlest of details. Like her eyesmile and how her dimples would show with even the slightest of smiles.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. So I don’t think I have the reasons to like him that deep yet but everything’s going fine between the two of us,” Somi replied and looked afar.

We both went silent for a while and I had to keep my thoughts inside my head because I don't want to ruin the moment. 

“He’ll have to be good on you, or else, I’m gonna have to put him in his deathbed myself." I said and I was taken aback as she looked at me and her smile told it all. 

She appreciates the little things her best friend does for her.

“Thank you. I love you, Daehwi.” She muttered and it just felt suddenly awkward saying those three words casually to ne, but then again, I ignored the feeling.

“I love you, too. Just like the old times.” I answered as we both looked deep into each other’s eyes. 

I just can’t help but feel drawn to her, looking at those sparkling eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She says and that was just enough to melt my heart, rendering me speechless.

"I know you have your reasons. I understand." I leaned closer and gave her a kiss in the forehead. 

And it was like cold water was poured on me in a snap. I loved her. I loved her all this time and that distance was enough to make me realize it. I was just scared and too afraid to admit it to myself that I was possibly falling for Somi. 

Oh how I wished things would stay this way forever.

***

After two days, Somi left as they were finished filming for the show and I'm back with the guys again. I was reading a book when I heard my phone ring.  I get up and answered it.

“Hi, Somi! What’s up?” you asked casually.

“Hi yourself. This is Sohye. Everything’s fine, except for Somi." Sohye answered.

“Why? What’s wrong with her?” I was really worried now.

“I think I should’ve told you this before,” she paused and makes sure she wasn’t heard by anyone on where she was at.

"Yeah? What was it?” I asked, heart pounding.

“Somi's been in love with you for so long. And she finds it hard to admit. She thinks that it would ruin your friendship,” Sohye explained. 

I can hear Yoo-jung crack from the other line and heard everybody’s laugh. 

I could not believe what she just said so I just laughed. Nervously.

“What’s this? Is this some kind of a joke? Because if it is—"

“No, I’m not kidding!” Sohye said and continued to say other things I can hardly comprehend. I don't even know what to believe anymore. 

After a few minutes, Sohye dialled me up  again and…

“Just listen to this, and do not say anything!” She whispered and didn't give me the chance to speak and I heard a sound like she put her phone on something and heard everyone’s voice from a distance, more of like eavesdropping through the phone. 

" Yah!! Yes, I like Daehwi so much and it hurts to think that he may not like me back. I'm scared because everything that happened is all my fault. I was the one who stopped calling him. I was the one who cut off everything that tied me to to him. I was the one who did not tell him I liked him-- loved him even. And everything is such a mess. I don't even know what to do anymore. I told him Yoo-jung set me up to make him jealous but I don't think it affected him as much as seeing him affected me. 

LEE DAEHWI AHH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH." 

Her staggered breathing could be clearly heared from the other line. My heart tugged on its heartstrings at her confession that the corners of my mouth instantly lifted up. 

Of course an initial reaction for a sudden cofession would be shock, I am shocked, but I believe I have been waiting for this moment for quite a long time that it made my heart jump so much it hurt more than  whereas it should have been surprised. 

***

"Hey, I heard our seniors were back." Daniel said, obviously favoured by this since his eyes were glimmering like there was no tomorrow. 

This, too, made me a happy boy like Daniel. 

"Jeon Somi!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

"Hey! Stop that!" 

"Shut it, Daehwi."

"Let him be!" 

Once I saw her familiar figure out of the 11 girls, quickly on my feet I sprinted in her direction, tripping over here and there a few times. 

It's now or never. 

"Hey. Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?" I said, my eyes a silent plea that hopes she would say yes.

Once she nodded, I took her by the hand and led her to a place where there was only the two of us. 

"Daehwi--" 

"Shut up and listen to me. I--.., I--..., I  love you, too. I heard you over the phone. Sohye called me up to tell me that you do-- Don't stare at me like that this is new to me! Okay. I've never confessed to a girl before." I rambled on and on.

She just giggled at me being a complete mess. Oh god.

"I love you, Daehwi." 

"Gosh, Jeon Somi. You're making me blush." She glared at me, "I love you, too."