She sat in front of the dressing table, as her fingers never really stop fidgeting with the ring on her. Her make up was completely smeared; her hair was basically disheveled; her clothes were clearly still soaked from the heavy rain and thunderstorm outside; but never once did she pick up the ringing phone. She forgot how long has she been crying but her eyes were still teary; she forgot how long has she not felt this urge to be away from Siwon but he is the last person she really wants to see right now; she forgot how painful it was but the marks on her cheeks felt like it was aimed at her heart; and she forgot how long has it been that her phone was ringing but she wasn’t a least bit ready to pick up.

“Sir…” the butler greeted anxiously as he watched Siwon lifelessly dragged his soaked-to-the-skin body into the house. He searched almost every corner of Seoul but he couldn’t find her. This is his last resort and she has got to be at home and not anywhere else because the sky is dark and it is already past midnight.

“Is Tiffany home?”

“Yes but…”

“But what?” Siwon asked, raising his voice as his already worried mind waited for a response.

“She hasn’t been opening the door and no matter how I knock on it, there isn’t any response. Yet she warned me not to go in no matter what.”

Siwon did not even bother replying anymore. Everything that had happened today merely added on to his guilt towards Tiffany and he hated himself. He knew her insecurities yet he did something so atrocious to her. He needed to see her, to make sure that she is fine and to make up for whatever he had done wrong. He didn’t know how to and his mind was completely blank as he stared at the door knob for really long. He didn’t really know how to face a broken Tiffany, especially when he knows that he is every reason for her broken heart right now. He just wished he knew what he can do to turn back in time, be honest with her right from the start, and probably then, her insecurities wouldn’t even surface.

He slowly turned the knob, took his first step as he entered the room.

The room was completely dark and the lights were out. The dimly-lighted nightstand next to the dressing table was enough to reveal that petite figure. But as he approached her, all he could feel was the screaming in her head about how badly he had hurt her and Siwon wished that none of those silly acts had taken place because hurting Tiffany was never his intention. But he doesn’t have a time machine, and neither does he have the ability to change the fact that she was badly hurt by him.

“Fany…”

She didn’t respond, not because she didn’t want to but because she had completely no idea how to. Is she supposed to flare at him when she had already exhausted all her energy? Is she supposed to tell him she is fine when every part of her is broken by him? Is she supposed to cry when everything had already happened? Is she supposed to tell him she still trust him when every corners of her mind is screaming for her to seal her heart? She doesn’t know anymore. She thought she was done crying but as she felt his presence and that voice that she as so in love with sounded, her tears rolled down once again.

“Mianhe…” Siwon apologized as he walked closer to her side, hoping for a response because he didn’t like the silence for a least bit, for the fact that she is so in pain and he couldn’t do anything to salvage it.

“Why…?” her voice was still that delicate, as it trembled every second with just one word that she forced herself to spill.

Siwon could only look down onto the ground, as he felt his heart churning with her voice sounding repeatedly in his mind to tell him how badly he had hurt her. Pain was a mere understatement.

“I was crazy, I didn’t mean it. I knew well enough that I was wrong because no matter what, I shouldn’t have hit you.”

“But you did. What is the difference between whatever you have done and what Taec oppa had done to Yoong?”

“Fany… Mianhe,” Siwon pleaded as he grabbed both her hands, hoping for her to trust him one last time and to forgive him for all that silly things he had done.

“Siwon… I am so hurt…” She whispered, almost inaudible but Siwon knew that the moment she removed the honorifics, she was really hurt by him.

“I really didn’t mean to hit you, I was really sorry and I didn’t know what I was doing…” his voice trembled a little, and with that, Tiffany knew that Siwon was close to tearing, which was something she was never really good at handling. It works the same, because they’ve loved, Tiffany can’t take his tears like how he can never take hers, that’s the greatest pain. But she didn’t really know what to do anymore. From the appearance of Sooyoung, to the photos she received from a mysterious letter, to the revelation of Siwon’s long history with Sooyoung, be it friends or not, then to today’s incident which she suspected that Sooyoung purposely staged the slap and lastly to her beloved husband slapping her; Tiffany didn’t really understand what she can do right now. Is it for her to continue trusting Siwon or should she give up now?

“It is late, let’s just turn in…” Tiffany half-whispered as she weakly stood up and wipe away those tears, back completely facing her husband because, she didn’t know what kind of treatment can she give him right now. Completely distraught, she could only choose to walk away from the things that she is not ready to face yet, and to sleep to numb away those pain tonight.

“Fany please…” Siwon begged, hoping for her forgiveness but he didn’t understand how vexed she is right at this moment.

“What?” the firmness in her tone was a completely new story because it was sufficient to indicate the change in her. Nothing, she was nothing but a girl who was that close to losing her trust in their marriage, because right from the start, they never had an easy route to this marriage.

“Are we going to leave this hanging? I am sorry Fany, and I know how utterly wrong I am, shall we solve this together? How do you expect me to sleep when you are like this and we are like this?”

Every word reached her eardrums like an arrow at her heart. Does Siwon thinks that she is able to sleep well tonight after all that dramatic episode this morning? Does Siwon thinks that she doesn’t want to solve the problem now? Does Siwon not know that it is extremely difficult on her part as well when he was in fact the one causing her the pain?

“No, I am not going to leave this hanging. Siwon please, I am really tired and I think I do deserve that tad bit of rest after all these, and that you can grant me a quiet night to think through for the fact that I took your slap.”

“But what about tonight? Are we just going to keep avoiding it? No Fany, it hurts too, to see you like this and to see us becoming so harsh on each other.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore. Because I would say that I gave you my trust, but you trusted someone else more than you value me. I am not going to avoid it, but please, I am tired tonight. I will give you an answer tomorrow…” She walked towards her bed, hoping that he wouldn’t see the tears in the corners of her eyes anymore.

“This is painful Fany…” he grabbed her hand, hoping for everything to be fine like how they will be alright with this simple gestures when they had mini bickering in the past. But maybe, just maybe, some things just aren’t the same anymore. Slowly, she pushed his hand of hers, wondering why her tears never really seem to dry.

“Yes, this is so painful…” she whispered as she slowly closed her eyes, hoping to escape this torturous confrontation for the next few hours.

It was never easy, but it wasn’t thought to be this tough.

----------

Donghae sat by her bedside, hoping for her to regain her consciousness and there were so many ‘sorrys’ that he owed her. He watched how her ankle was wrapped up pained his heart because it was all for his stupid noodles that she had to run in high heels. He watched how her wrist was plucked with needles because of the IV drip that she needed due to over-fatigue from practicing, which he didn’t even bother understanding despite her working so hard. He watched how the towel on her forehead never seemed to decrease in temperature worries him, as he was the reason for the worsening of her fever as she ran out into the rain because he foolishly refused to listen to her. Donghae just wanted to slap himself upside down for whatever that had happened.

“Isn’t it too late to regret now?” Yunho asked as he placed Donghae’s breakfast on the table, hinting him to grab some bites.

“Mianhe…”

“You owe it to her, not me,” Yunho replied as he placed a new towel on her head.

“Grab some bites before it turned cold,” Yunho nagged like a father but that’s all because he truly cares for them and he knew how Jessica would be worried if Donghae falls ill.

“I-” Donghae couldn’t even reply Yunho because he saw the petite sleeping beauty fidgeting in her sleep, seemingly waking up.

“Sica!” he exclaimed as he watched her eyes opened, observing the room before turning her gaze back at him. He was about to hug her till he realized the change in her expression, as though she was really afraid of him, as though he was someone, unfamiliar.

“Sica?” Yunho called out as he watched how Jessica was looking at Donghae. Without saying, they were both worried as it was too weird for her to behave like this. The way she moved away from Donghae and nearer towards Yunho was worrying, as though she had forgotten about Donghae, again.

“Doctor! Is she okay? Why is she behaving like this? You said her temperature wasn’t that high last night! You said she had had some fever and sprained ankle! What is wrong now!” Donghae asked impatiently as he bombarded the doctor with questions, with which Yunho can only hold him back to allow the doctor to speak.

“Calm down Sir. Mrs Lee fever wasn’t very high but her daze now could be a side effect from the persistent fever and the strong medication I gave her last night,” the doctor explained, only to shock Donghae even further.

“What daze? Can’t you see that she looked like she can’t even recognise me? And why did you even give her strong medication knowing that it has such severe side effects!” Donghae burst out, leaving the doctor speechless and his tears shocked everyone. He didn’t mean to behave like a crybaby right now but everything that is happening worries him. His beloved Jessica doesn’t seem to have any recollection of him and her fever is still persisting. His guilt never really left and Dongha wondered why he was so harsh last night. Regrets filled his mind, as he couldn’t help but to beg for the doctor to help Jessica, to help him.

“Donghae, relax okay, let the doctor do his task first?” Yunho urged as he tried to hold Donghae back. But he was that worried he couldn’t even control his tears.

“Oppa… I’m fine…” a gentle and soft voice sounded and Donghae realized that it was Jessica.

“Sica? You… You didn’t forget me? You are fine? Are you? You didn’t forget me like the previous time? I am really sorry, I didn’t mean for everything that had happened last night. Will you please forgive me? I know I am stupid and I-”

“Yah Lee Donghae, let her speak!” Yunho interrupted when he realized that Donghae was blabbering on and on while Jessica lacked the energy to stop him.

“I was just afraid of you, I didn’t want to fight with you that’s why I didn’t say anything just now. Mianhe oppa…” she muttered as her eyes met his gaze, the same old pair of eyes that captured her heart the first time they met.

“Ani, I am the one to apologize, I was the wrong one last night and aish, I am so stupid. I’m sorry Sica… I-”

He stopped talking when a pair of arms wrapped around his neck, her scent filled his nose as her head landed softly on his shoulder.

“I promise I won’t missed the dinner and forget my promise to you anymore… Mianhe Oppa…” she whispered as she laid comfortably on his shoulder. Donghae quickly wrapped his arms around her waist as he thank god for giving him such an understanding princess. Nobody was worth the worry apart from her, and nobody was worth the search in the rain apart from her. He knew Jessica was his life and he thank god that she never blamed him. He was so grateful that Jessica forgives him so easily and that his angelic princess loved him as always. He just wondered what he does to deserve such a precious girl.

“Gomawo Sica… Mianhe,” his warm breath blew on her ears as her lips formed a sweet curve upwards. Even if they had a fight and that they ran away from each other, they have the way to find their way back to each other, regardless of what it takes. After all, if Jessica can find her way back to Donghae’s side from America, then she surely has to ability to do it today. They both never intended to let go of each other, and love encompasses so much more depth and width, forgiving was nothing difficult in love.

“Ahem, so I am a lightbulb here now?” Yunho teased as he smiled at the sweet and loving couple in front of him. It is amusing how panicky Donghae was just now and now, this guy is nothing but a boy who yearns for Jung Jessica’s love.

“Of course,” Jessica chuckled, teasing Yunho.

“Yah Jung Jessica! Then why did you run to my house last night!”

“I need someone to send me back to Hae oppa’s arms!” Jessica replied shyly as she buried her face in the crook of Donghae’s neck, still laughing at how Yunho was getting jealous at how sweet they are.

Two loving hearts has their way of finding the route back to each other.

----------

Siwon woke up only to realize that the side of the huge king sized bed was empty, missing the petite figure that he was too used to waking up to while hugging. The bed was cold on the other side where she was always found to be sleeping on. She probably couldn’t sleep well last night; any fool would have known that. Siwon just wished to wake up to see that all that had happened was nothing but mere dreams.

The door creaked opened slightly, revealing her petite figure with a slightly messed up bun combed up high. Her eyes were still puffy, red and swollen. Anyone could tell that she probably cried the whole night and for that, Siwon clearly felt a pang of guilt and a gush of pain in his heart. It is ridiculous how you tend to hurt the person you love the most the deepest. In addition to that, they all wondered why it is so impossible to avoid such regretful actions and mistakes.

“Morning…” she greeted, with a slightly faint smile but pains and worries were written all over her face. It was so painful to watch how she tried to hide those emotions away, and Siwon wished that there was more that he could do right at this moment.

“Hi…”

“The breakfast is ready, you can-” she was cut of by his voice, a melody she never seemed to get sick of and something she might miss for the next few days.

“Fany… we need to talk,” he pleaded, hoping for them to resolve this awkwardness real soon because he hated how hurtful she looked, he hated how the distance was kept safely between them and he hated how he was the one at fault but there doesn’t seem to be a thing he can do to solve the issue.

“I think so too.”

The couples sat on the side of the bed, keeping that distance that her husband clearly hated. But at the same time, he didn’t want to force her. That awkward silence between them was painful to hear, and with each second the ticked away, Siwon was afraid of what Tiffany was intending to say.

“Oppa…”

He pulled his gaze away from the ring on his finger as he turned to face the ever-beautiful girl next to him. With all that he could, he prayed and begged that it will be fine; at least, he had always believed that their relationship was stronger than this.

“Let’s take a break, and I’ll move back home for the next few days since Yoona is there too. Trust me, this is not a break up because I still love you,” she chuckled as she took his hands in hers, smiling with tears b in her eyes.

“I am just giving you some time to think through and settle some relationship stuff, while I take a break from those social butterflies around my husband, okay?” she asked, still smiling but nobody really know how painful it is for her to spill those words while trying to hide away her deepest and realest emotions.

“We don’t have to go this far, do we?” Siwon asked as he hopes for her to take back this decision. Parting with her is probably the hardest thing ever. He can’t even stand those nights without her when Super Junior is on a world tour, and now that few days that Tiffany had mentioned is an undefined number, he can’t help but to dread this decision. It is going to be like hell and for sure Siwon was more aware than anybody else.

“When everything is settled and when we are back to where we first started, everything will be fine,” she reassured him as she tightened her grip on his hands. Siwon could only pull her into a hug, hugging her as tightly as possible before the peace now eludes. He needs her, and he had never been this sure before.

“I will miss you…” he whispered while planting a kiss on her forehead. She smiled, so bitter sweetly that it was painful for Siwon to handle.

“Nado…” she sobbed, tightening her grip around his waist. She will miss this warmth that she had been so used to; she will miss this man that she had loved with all that she could. But she chose to give this love a test, with her trust in Siwon and her faith in the marriage. She knows how much he loves her, and she believes strongly that he will not let her down today. Leaving him will be difficult, but she knows that they need this right now because being together now might only tear down the relationship that they had spent so much effort to build up.

“I have to go, Yoona is waiting for me downstairs,” she smiled as she left his embrace. The distance to the door wasn’t a bit of far, but it felt like a long walk with each step getting heavier. It was that difficult to leave Siwon, but she was too determined after thinking for one night. Because at the very least, Siwon was worth to give it a try, and this time, betting on this love was equivalent betting all that she had.

“Saranghae Fany yah…” he exclaimed as he watched he