Ten's POV of the Past

I was born from a poor family back in Thailand. We were called a incomplete family knowing that I only have my mom and I don't know who my dad is. 

Ever since I was a kid, my mom always tells me that my dad is already dead and I believed that through the years. I sometimes questioned who  he is but the answer that I always get is "Ten it's not the time yet."

What's the best time right? It's not like he'll rise up from his grave and take me with him. I always doubt my mother when it comes to that. She doesn't visit any graves aside from my deceased grandfather.

Maybe he's not dead. That's the thought that always enters my mind. Maybe she's hiding something from me. But no matter what the reason is, I know she's doing it for me.

My mom works at a grocery store as a cashier. Her salary may not be that high but she can afford for the both of us. 

We may be poor but it doesn't mean that I'm not happy. Everything is perfect the way it is.My mom and I can eat three times a day,I have friends in school who doesn't care about my status and I have what you call a home.

Everything is perfect until that time came. One day me and my friends came home late from
school to finish our requirements. It's already 8 pm when we went our way home. 

I bid goodbye to them and so did they. As I was walking I received a phone call and then answered it.

"Mom, what is it?" 

"Hello, is this Ten?" It's an unfamiliar voice. 

"Uhmm who is this? Why do have my mom's phone with you?" I asked feeling nervous all of the sudden. 

"I'm her co-worker. Ten please listen to me carefully ok?"

"Okay." I don't like where this is going.

"You're mom collapsed earlier and I'm now with her in the hospital. She's still being observed by the doctors to find out what seems to be the problem and-"

"Mom is in the hospital?" I asked as if I didn't hear it right. I calmed myself because this isn't the right time to panic." I'll go there now."

I rushed in the hospital and asked for her in the counter. I said who I am and they told me her room number.

I gulped before opening the door and I saw my mom looking pale. "Ten" She called out to me lifelessly. 

"Mom" I ran towards her and kneeled beside her bed. 

She looked at me with loneliness evident on her face. She held my face and felt her cold hands that were warm a while ago. 

"Be strong Ten.. Will you promise me that?"

"Please stop staying those things. You're not leaving me right?" I whimpered beside her. 

She didn't reply. She just showed me her gentle smile. 

"Mom answer me ?!" I shouted. I can't take the idea of my mother leaving me. Not now or ever.

"Forgive me. I've been hiding my disease for a long time now because I don't want you to worry. You are a great child and I'm happy to have you in my life." She continued. "I mean it."

"Stop!" I sobbed.

"Listen. Even if I'm not here anymore, I'll always be there to guide you from above."

"Nonsense." I uttered angrily. "I only have you. What do you think will happen to me if you're not here anymore!? Do you think everything will work out?!"

She didn't reply with my questions but instead. "Remember my small box at my closet?"

"Mom, it's not the time to talk about that." I putted her fragile hand closer to my chest. 

Then again she ignored my statement. "Those are my earrings and I'll now give it you. That's the only treasure of mine that I can give to you. Take hold of it " Tears fell from my mother's face. Her lips are trembling. She continued  "Everything will be alright. Learn to forgive Ten. Forgive me. "

I've lost count of how many days I skipped meals after the death of my mother. My grandmother took me in and I don't know how to thank her. She treated me nicely and I'm really glad that I can still call someone a family. 

She's concerned of my health because I'm getting thinner and thinner by the day. I don't have the appetite to eat and even if I try to, I can't finish a meal.

"Ten, please eat your meals honey." She told me with concern on her face.

"I'm good." I showed a faint smile at her. 

"But skipping meals isn't good for you."

"I'm just not hungry." 

Time passes by and me and grandma faced some financial crisis. She can't afford to sustain me anymore and she feels so sorry for me that I need to stop studying but that didn't took so long. Someone came to search for me. 

A grown man wearing a suit came to visit us. "Are you Ten?" 

I nodded as we both talked in the dining table. Since we don't have enough money, we just offered him a coffee and he gladly accepted it. 

"I heard about the news. I'm sorry."

I smiled assuring him that I'm fine. "So Mr.? What do you need from me?"

"I want to take you home with me." 

"Why would I go with you?" I looked at him with confusion. Is this man a police or something?

"I'm your father." His statement left my mouth open. He died already right? So my thoughts about him being alive is true after all.

"Why now?" I asked even though I know I'm being disrespectful "After all this years? Are you feeling guilty because you left us? Did you came back because you heard that mom died?" There are so many questions I want to ask him.

"Something came up and-" He looked at me with pleading eyes. 

"Something came up?!" I shouted as I stood up but he just lowered his head. "All my life, mom told me that you died and I wasn't even aware of your existence! Why now?!" I clenched my fist in anger. 

He went towards me and hugged me tightly.  Is this the feeling of being embraced by a father? "I'm sorry. There are things that I can't control but now is the only chance that I can claim you as my own son."

After that, I came to realise that there are so many things I didn't know about Mom and this man claiming to be my father. It seems like grandma knows him well and she wants me to come with him back to South Korea. 

I don't want to leave grandma alone but she convinced me that I can visit her anytime but what's  important right now is my education.

After a long time of thinking, I agreed. This is what's best for me right? I need to continue with my life because that's what my mom wanted me to do. She wants me to achieve my dreams even if she can't see it anymore. 

My father told me that I have  two half brothers and soon to be a Step Mom.

I came to a conclusion that my father cheated on his wife and I'm the result of that. Our age differences with my brothers are enough evidence to say that. 'Am I going to ruin their family?' That keeps on running inside of my head for a long time. 

Is this the reason why Mom can't speak of my dad? Is it because I'm illegal and a sin? 

It turns out that mom didn't know that dad already has a family when they began their relationship. Grandma told me everything I needed to know and that hurts me so badly. 

Can a complete family be so much to ask for? 

-----

We are now in the airport waiting for the flight. "Ten? Are you alright?" My father said. 

"Uhmm yes. I'm good Mr." I showed a assuring smile that is not so convincing. How can I be alright? I'm going to a foreign place and I don't know what will happen to me there.

Can I make friends the way I did here? How can I learn the language? How can I fit in?

"Call me Dad." He insisted. 

"I'm sorry but it's not my place to-" he cutted me off.

"You're still my son." He smiled.

After long hours of waiting , we finally arrived to Dad's house in S. Korea. I was welcomed by unfamiliar faces. Can this be really a new home for me? 

Kai hyung welcomed me wholeheartedly and I can't deny that I'm really happy that I got to have a older brother like him. Jeno who is suppose to be my younger brother, hates me. I kind of understand him though. Who would want a brother who was born from the affair of his dad right?

I'm the reason why their family is breaking apart. I should've have stayed with grandma but Dad wouldn't leave me alone until I went back with him. I guess I made a wrong decision coming here.

-----

Everynight  I hear loud fights from my room. I covered my ears with pillows until I fall asleep but it's hard to do so. I know that the reason they are fighting is because of me. 

"Mom." I called out to her even though I know she's not here anymore. The dark room making me remember her.

I suddenly remembered the earrings she gave me and I came to search for it in my belongings. When I found the little box, I opened it to see her most valuable treasures. 

This is the only thing that gives me strength.I know that she gave me this in memory of her but I know I can't wear it. There's no hole in my ears. 

Everyday , I spent my time cleaning the house and such. Kai hyung and Dad kept on scolding me to stop doing this since I'm not oblige to but I feel the need to do this. 

It seems like my Step Mom would like to have a maid but since she knows that I can be useful in the house, she didn't continue hiring one. 

The house is big and my back hurts from cleaning here and there but there's no use in complaining. Nothing will change the fact that I don't belong here.

------

Since it's summer break, it'll be long before I started studying back. Dad and Kai hyung helped me with the use of Korean language so I'm still learning. It's hard since it's so different but I'm trying my best.

My Step mom won't encourage my presence and the only thing she would to me was to complain if there's a mess in the house. Sometimes she would create a mess like breaking something just for me to clean.

We are alone in the house when she made another mess in the dining room.

"You bastard!" She scolded me. "Look what you've made me do!"

"I'm sorry." I apologized even though I know I didn't do anything wrong.  

"Clean this mess you son of a and a ! That's my favourite plate!!" She groaned.

"P-please don't speak of my mother like that." I defended even if my knees feel like falling apart.

"Why would I stop speaking her that way?" She smiled as she approached me. She's scaring me. "It's true right? Care to explain to me why you were born in the first place?! It's because your of a mother seduced my husband. Serves her right now that she's DEAD!" 

Hearing those awful words made me angry. No one talks to my mother that way. She doesn't have an idea how great of a mother she is, unlike her. 

I pushed her hard and she fell on the cold floor. "Take that BACK!" I shouted. "YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING!"

"You Wench! HOW DARE YOU?!" She stood up and grab a handful of my hair. It hurts so bad and she dragged me towards the shattered plate. 

I fell with my hands piercing to the broken glass. I groaned in pain. 

"You're the one who started it Ten." With that she left me alone crying. I held my hands closer to my chest. Blood is flowing down on my arms. 

'Mom' I called her in my mind. 'Is this what you meant by everything will be alright?'

"I'm hurting Mom. Save me."