Taeyong's POV:
(Continuation of the Past)

After that day, we started hanging out. If you come to think of it, I've become one of his closest friend or so he thinks. He always told me stories about stuffs but not even once I heard him talk about his family. He'll only talk about what T.V. show that he is currently watching and more.

The only thing that I can do is to listen and nod. He's so talkative that I didn't even know where he got his energy from. He's like a broken puppet.

"Taeyong, Are you listening?" Ten tilted his head and come closer to me. He is currently sitting in front of my desk with the chair facing backward to face me.

"Uhmm yes." I gulped. His face is close to me. He's staring at me while showing his aegyo. 

"Nah. You're not." Ten pouted. 

"I am." I defended. Even if I listen or not, nothing will change the fact that I'll break your heart .

"Then tell me what I said." Ten demanded to me. 

"Uhmm The K-Drama you are currently watching?" I guessed. 

"What about it?" Ten frowned.

"Why are you even into K-Drama these days??!" I groaned. "Talk about Thai movies or something that I haven't heard of."

"Why?! It's cute and romantic." Ten squealed. He's acting like a girl with a husky voice. "Besides , I think I've watched most of our Thai movies and dramas back at home!! I even fell in love with Mario Maurer. Kyaaaaaaaaa~"

"I'm more handsome than that guy." I said confidently. Well it's true. 

"Nah! And He's more approachable unlike you." Ten teased. 

"Yeah Whatever."  I don't know much about dramas. It's stupid and cliche.  "You like the culture here?"

"I think so." He smiled. "And I like the people here too like you."

What is he saying to me all of the sudden. Is that a confession? 
"Really? You like me?" 

He nodded. "Yes. You're so kind to me."

I smirked. Kind? Really, since when did I become kind to someone. Someone is gonna witness how bad I am soon.

The teacher entered as the bell rang. She is currently holding pile of books from today's class. Another long ride to finish.
"Okay Class,  go back to your proper seats." 

With that everyone sighed. No one liked the seating arrangement since all of us are separated with the one we always hanged out with, except Ten since he's right beside me. I used the term 'hanged out' since I'm not really fond in using the word friend. If ever I use it, I'll put fake as a description.

People always choose friends and not everyone can be your friends. That's the cruel reality we need to accept. 

There's only two choices, either you'll like him or hate him. Well I hate Ten so there he goes in that category. 

I caught Winwin glaring at me as he walked to his chair in front with an angry expression. He seems like he isn't over of me yet. Who cares though? He can't lay a finger on me. Even Kun, his cousin, can't even stand beside me.

When I think about it, I stopped hanging out with Winwin and Kun since that day and spent most of my time with Ten. 

I never really thought that I'm alone though. I always have people wanting to be close with me and that includes the stupid Chittaphon but those people never really cared about me.

They only hanged out with me because of my face and my fame but those aren't important to me. What's the use of these things if no one will even care to love me for who I am not for what they see?

I'm a human too you know. I have what you call emotions and feelings. I'm not a robot.  I'm not strong as everyone thinks I am. People become dependent on me like I'm a soldier that can do whatever he or she pleaded.   

I'm so sick and tired of it. People like Ten will never know what I'm feeling. 
Everyone knows who he is since he can express himself well but I can't. I won't show my weakness just to anybody because they can use it against me. 

That's why Ten is an easy prey. Anyone can hurt him and he'll breakdown immediately. 

He is so easy to read but sometimes a bit complicated when he began talking out of place topics like the other day. He asked me about disappearing.

Yeah, I still don't get it. Why would he asked me that? But that question made an impression on me. 

'Taeyong, have you ever thought what would happen if you disappear?'

'What would happen if I disappear?'

'Cause I want to know what would happen if I disappear.'

Maybe I'll feel no pain anymore? I can finally rest from this cruel world that keeps on hunting me but I can't do that. 

Jaehyun will be left alone. I promised him that I won't ever do that to him. I'll stay with him and shield his eyes from this dark reality that is happening to our family. 

My Dad and My Mom? It's only about time before they sign the divorced papers. I guess they fell out of love when they're suppose to be inlove. It seems like promises can break sometimes or most likely, most of the times.

I'll lie if I'll say that I'm not affected by it. I still want a complete family like most people have. I want to feel secured and protected by them but that's not the case. 

Because of them, I learned to be matured at a young age. I need to be the tough one since I'm the older and it's really hard you know.  It's not easy to be strong at all times.

What would happen to us if in case they signed it? Will I be separated with Jaehyun? I won't let that happen.
Not until the day I die.

He's the only family I considered left. The only one I should protect. I don't care if I'll hurt everyone else, just not Jaehyun. It'll break me apart.

-----

"Taeyong can we talk?" Winwin approached me inside the library as he sat right next to me. It seems like he's been crying all day since his eyes are red.

"What are we going to talk about?" I looked at him. "There's no point in us talking since we're not together anymore." I said as I scanned the pages of the book I am holding. 

"Did you even tried to love me?" He gently snatched the book away from me and closed it.

I chuckled at his question. "Did you really think that I'll love you? You're just a rat to me." He's so stupid. 

"Am I not good enough?" He sobbed. 

"Winwin listen." I caressed his cheeks. "Not even in a million years I'll learn how to love you." I smirked at that.

"It hurts you know that?! Your words are so cruel!" He shouted that gained many attention around us. "Is Ten good enough Then?!"

"Shhhhhh~" I touched his lips with my index finger. "Ten? Really? He's not even worth it."

"Then why are you doing this to me?!" He looked so miserable. I don't care though. 

"Like I said, I don't love you."

Winwin slapped me and stood up. "You're going to regret this!" With that he left me alone in the table. Whispers started as they all looked at me.

I touched my cheeks and rubbed it as if it was nothing. 

As if I'm going to regret what I've done to him. What's wrong with telling the truth though? I said what's in my heart, Dong Si cheng.

I didn't really mind Winwin's threat. For me it's just words and no actions. Like a dog who barks but doesn't bite.

-----

Day after day, I started flirting with Ten. I continued the dare as I am obliged to do. I touched him in his uncomfortable places but his private part. He still needs privacy too you know. I'll respect that.

I always hugged his small frame and kissed his neck in surprise. He always blushed red as he accused me of being a ert. 

Everyone falls for Physical contact with me. They act like they don't like it but they do. Eventually they'll beg for me to do more ual things to them but I don't do it. I won't pleasure them if I can't pleasure myself. I'll only have if he or she is the one for me. In that way, I can handle his or her fragile body with importance.

We are currently eating at the rooftop of the school. It's actually prohibited to go here but no one stops me since my father hold a huge share in this school. Biases right?

I liked it here since it's more peaceful here than the crowded cafeteria. Most of the time I bring packed lunch for Ten to eat and I can see that he's really happy in eating it. It always shows in his face but when I asked him how's it, he'll deny that it's only good or fine instead of using great or delicious.

"How is it?" I asked him as he filled his mouth with food that I cooked.

"It's nice. " He smiled. 

"Really?"That's not the compliment I'm waiting for Ten. 

I glared at him from head to toe. When I think of it, he has a slender body with a pretty face. His body is more feminine compared to other guys I've met. The way he sits showing his eye smile can sometimes seduce someone. Those hands that looks so perfect. I've never really notice before how pretty he is. I know his look is beyond average but something is different. 

He took his bottled water and opened it. He drank and I saw how his throat moves. I don't know, but I feel so attracted to it. 

He wiped his lips and I saw how soft and pinkish it is. He just looks so innocent and fragile. 

He caught me staring at him but I didn't care. I don't know what I'm feeling but my heart beats so fast that even I can hear it. I must be sick. 

I crawled in his direction and closed the gap between our faces. I kissed him and hold his neck carefully with my right hand. 

It's really soft and sweet more than what I expected. It must be from the food that I cooked. I moved my hand on his hair and it amazingly flows on my fingers gently .

Ten what have you done to me? I don't know what's happening anymore. I feel like I've been drugged.

I removed my lips from him and looked at him in the eyes. He is just staring at me with tears threatening to fall from his faced. I caressed his cheeks to calm him. It must be his first kiss but it is also my first. He must held it valuable.

"Ten, I love you." I said to him. I don't know where it came from. Is it from my mind or from my heart? I don't know anymore. 

"Taeyong I-"

"Will you be mine?" I interrupted. I don't know but I feel really desperate to know his answer.

He held my face and kissed my forehead. " Yes." That was an unexpected move from him. I only looked at him as he played with my hair and caressed it gently. "I love you too."

I hugged him tightly as a grin appeared on my face. Why do I feel like I'm happy though? Is this what I always wanted? No, it's impossible.