Ten's POV:

Everything is out of place. What should I do? Or rather, what will I do? I feel pain too you know. It's not only you but me too. 

I am holding Taeyong's hand as we walked away from Jaehyun. I didn't bother to look back because if I did, I'll stay with him until he feels better.

He's my precious friend too that I won't exchange for the world. What am I doing? When I'm in pain he's always there for me but when he's in pain, I'm not there for him. I'm the worst friend that ever existed. 

I've stayed in silence and observed Taeyong every now and then, checking if he's feeling okay. I know he isn't, physically and emotionally. He just hurted Jaehyun, his younger brother. 

Even though he acts like he hates his brother, I know that deep inside he cares for him. Yes, he shows annoyance when we're all together but not even once I heard him talk badly about him. 

Taeyong is tough and strong on the outside but deep inside he's not. Many people fear him but I don't. He is just like a stubborn kid that you need to look out too. 

I know that his heart has been wounded many times just like me. That's why he doesn't easily open up to other people beside from Mark, Johnny and me. 

"Ten." He called me as he looked directly into my eyes. Just him looking at me like that, I feel relieved. It's a familiar feeling and I don't know why.

"Hmm?" I hummed not in the mood to speak. I just want to enjoy this last moment.

"Are you okay?" He asked pointing at my scratched forearm. "Let me see that." He take a look at it.

"It's nothing." It's nothing compared to what I did in the past.

"But still, we need to-" I interrupted him.

"Taeyong." I said. "It's not a big deal."

He heaved a sigh. "You need to take care of yourself. Come I'll bring you to the clinic."

"Bring yourself in the clinic. You're the one in pain." I argued. "So you don't want to right? I feel the same."

Taeyong nodded in defeat. "I'm sorry for not controlling myself back there." He said sincerely to me. 

I just nodded as a response. It's not Taeyong's fault but mine. Everything that is happening is because of me. It wouldn't happen if Jaehyun and Taeyong didn't fell in love with me at the same time right? I hate it. I hate myself.

Now, I'm thinking about Doyoung, my bestfriend. I betrayed him. How can I tell this to him? Will I or just hide it from him? I know for sure that he'll know it eventually but I need some time to think about it. 

I'm scared that he'll breakdown. I supported him with Jaehyun but what will happen if I told him everything. I'll hurt another friend. 

After a minute of walking, Taeyong brought me infront of his car and opened it. "Get in." 

"What?" I looked at him confused. "I have my own car so why bother?" 

"Just get in." He heaved a sigh. "Please?" 

I nodded as he let me entered first. He then sitted at the driver's sit while I sitted right beside him. 

Silence enveloped us two. I bowed down, feeling my heart aches every second. It hurts so much. I don't want to hurt anybody. I didn't mean to.

Jaehyun. I can't stop worrying about him. It bothers me just seeing him like that. He didn't deserve to feel like this only because of me. I want to reach out to him.

"I have something to tell you." Taeyong said that woke me up from my thoughts. He then intertwined our fingers, feeling warmth in his hands.

"What is it?" I looked at the window. It's no use. I can't look at him in the eyes now. I feel like I'm going to break any second now.

"I know what you're thinking." He said low, but enough for me to hear. The tone of his voice is lonely and sad.

Please don't say it. I don't want to hear it coming from you too Taeyong. I don't even want to consider it but some part of me wants it.

"You're thinking of breaking up with me." He finally said as he hold me tighter.

"Taeyong I-" he interrupted me. 

"Please don't." He begged as he kissed the back of my hand. "I can't afford to lose you. Not now or ever." 

"I need some time to sort things out." I showed a faint smile that tells him that everything is going to be okay. 

"Sort things out?!" He groaned. I know he's confused too. I'm not only doing this for him but also for me and Jaehyun. "Ten, please don't blame yourself." 

"I can't." I looked down. "It's obvious right? None of this would've happen if I didn't come here."

"It's not your fault." Taeyong pleaded.

"That's what you feel but that's not what I feel. I'm sorry." I cried. Tears falling from my eyes nonstop as I hold on to him tightly. "I need some time alone." 

"Ten please don't do this to me." He cupped my face and wiped away my tears. He looked like he's about to break just like me. 

"It's for the best." I told him. It stings coming from my mouth. I don't know what's best anymore.

Taeyong hugged me tightly as he cried on my shoulder. "Please don't." He's struggling just like me.

"I'm really sorry." I pushed him away but his hug became tighter. I pushed him again but it's useless. My heart hurts so much. " Taeyong please, I beg you. Let me go."

"Please don't go." He sobbed. "I can't afford to lose you too."

I want to hug him back and tell him that he'll never lose me. I want to tell him that I love him and I wouldn't trade him for the whole world. That's how much I love him. 

"Taeyong." I cupped his face and wiped away his tears. He's like a cute puppy wanting for his owner. "Thank you for everything. I'll always love you no matter what and you'll always be my Taeyong Oppa." I joked, tears falling from my eyes. "I just need a break?"

"Ten ,I'll wait for you." His eyes are as red as mine. He looked terrible. 
He holded my hand but I let go and opened the car door. I didn't look back, the same as what I did to Jaehyun. 

I want to disappear. I want to die. Everything is happening because of me. It's all my fault.

If I didn't come here, none of this would've happened. I would break anyone as hard as what I'm feeling right now . A simple sorry isn't going to fix all of this. 

Tears blurred my vision as I ran. I wiped it away with my hands but it fell nonstop. It's still threatening to fall down without my control.

"Mom." I called. "I want to go home." I want to just go back to the place that I belong. The place only with me and my mom.

I saw Jeno already waiting outside my car, leaning on it. He saw me and I immediately covered my eyes as if I'm just rubbing it. 

"Ten hyung!" He shouted as he went to me worriedly. "What happened?!" 

"Nothing." I replied. 

"Don't lie to me!" Jeno removed my hands forcefully from my eyes and he witnessed how red it was and so is my nose.

Tears continued to fall down my face, crying nonstop. Jeno hugged me tightly, trying to make me calm. "Hyung, what's wrong? It's okay. I'm here."

"Nothing." I sobbed, trying hard to smile but failed. My fever is coming back again.

"If you won't tell me anything and just tell me that it's nothing, how can I know what's bothering you?!" Jeno groaned.

I held his shoulder to face me. "Let's just go home. Please." I said calmly to him and he didn't argue back. Glad he understood. I have no more strength to talk. I'm too broken right now.

I started the engine to drive us back home. It's already 6:30 pm and it's already considered a late time in Kai hyung's watch. 

Not that I care though. My mind and my heart is already tired enough. 

I took a glimpse of Jeno and he is just listening to some music playing on his earphones. He just sitting there looking at the window. He seems angry at me for not telling him anything but I can't right now.

Tears again formed in my eyes remembering what happened earlier. Why does it always to be me? Taeyong and Jaehyun, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt the both of you. 
I just did what I thought was right. If I continue being with the other then other one will be hurt.

I don't want to be break your connection more as brothers. Taeyong, you must understand. I'm doing this for the both of you.

Maybe I'm just being selfish but I can't take this anymore. I want to escape. Kai hurted me the other day and in just a few days, I'll witness a fight? I'm not yet fully recovered if I'm being honest with myself. I feel like vomiting.

Thoughts lingering in my head. I don't know where to begin or to end. If I have a choice though, I want this to end. End this life.

"Hyung!"

"Hyung!"

Someone is calling me. It's faint but at the same time loud. I don't know what's happening. I think my fever is coming back again as I feel dizzily than usual.

"Ten Hyung!!!" Jeno shouted. "Look at the road!!!"

It woke up me from my thoughts. "What?" I looked at him feeling a bit uneasy. My breathing isn't in a normal pace as I breathe in and out heavily.

"We're gonna crash!!!" Jeno moved the steering wheel from his seat, forcefully. We are in the middle of the road and it started to rain hard. Very wrong timing. 

The windscreen wipers moved as it helped me see from a blurred vision because of the rain.

I looked infront of me to see an incoming car not far from us. I panicked as I pushed Jeno back to his seat and secured his seatbelt. We're going to crash. ! 

I immediatley turned the steering wheel away to turn towards a wall. The car in front of us also the opposite direction but it's already too late. 

The lights and sound stopped for a moment. It become slow as I looked at Jeno. I must protect him. He's more important than my own life. I putted my arm on his body and waited for the final moment waiting for us two. 

We've crashed with something on the front and something hitted us on the back. It paused.

"It's painful. Everything that I'm feeling is painful."