“Can’t sleep either?”

Jessica turned around and saw Onew standing by the kitchen entrance. She held her a gaze a while longer before turning back.

 “Krystal moves around a lot in her sleep,” she held her glass of water up, “and I was thirsty.”

Onew nodded and stayed standing, looking at her.

 “Let’s go somewhere.” She faced him again, with her eyebrows raised. “We’ll grab some breakfast on our way back for the other two.”

Jessica stepped out of the car, greeted with the sight of the early morning sun and the fresh dew. Onew had brought them to their usual spot by the Han River.

 “It’s nice to be back here again. It’s beautiful at this time of day,” she said. He sat next to her, leaving a small gap between the two of them.

 “So that’s why you hate alcohol so much.” He could see her tense up from the corner of his eye. He joined her silence and watched the scenery before them, the sound of birds chirping in the background.

 “Donghae could always handle his drink. It got more frequent when he had to take over his father’s company. To fill in his father’s shoes was a big task. I could see the stress and pressure it amounted to.” Her hands dropped down to the green grass and she grazed her fingers over the patch. “Within a few months he had turned into someone else. He was difficult, if I had to choose a word.”

 “How bad would it get?”

 “He would always get loud and chatty when he had a bit of alcohol. Eventually it got worse with swearing and…” the cold breeze caused her to shiver, “it progressed to him grabbing me. I convinced myself that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. I thought I was doing well keeping it hidden. And then one day Doojoon saw the bruises on my arms and shoulders. He’d known about Donghae’s flirtatious cheating ways and his alcoholic tendencies, way before I did, but I refused to believe him. We were talking about marriage and houses not that long ago, there was no way he would cheat behind my back.” Her hands grabbed a handful of grass. “I could see it all happen but it just didn’t sink in far enough for me to believe that we weren’t the same anymore.”

 “And Doojoon didn’t do anything?” asked Onew. He was suddenly displeased with Doojoon’s part in all of this.

 “He tried,” replied Jessica. “I was quite obstinate. I kept telling him it was just a phase and Donghae would stop.”

 “A phase?” Onew glanced at her.

She nodded. “Donghae wasn’t always like that. We had our good days and our bad days. Like every couple would.”

She stopped talking, presumably ending the conversation. The sun had now risen above the horizon and they watched the early morning joggers doing their runs along the river. Onew hesitated to move closer to her. The gap remained.

 “Why couldn’t you leave him?”

 “How could I?” she said whisperingly. He turned to look at her. “How could I, when each time he hurt me, he’d apologise and say sorry? I couldn’t bear to leave him, not when he was being that sincere. I loved him.”

 “That’s not love, Jessica.”

 “It was to me. Donghae only did all those things to me. With me. He didn’t do it in front of others.” Jessica finally turned to face him with a sad smile. “He could only show that part of him with me so that made me special in some way, right?” Her eyes glistened as she choked on her words. “He had no one to turn to and I was the only one there. Hitting me was his way out. I was special to him in that way. And that was all I wanted; to be special. I wanted to matter.”

Onew pulled her trembling body towards him, closing the gap between them. Jessica cried out as his arms tightened around her, her tears flowing. Her hands grabbed onto his shirt and she continued weeping. A tear escaped and he silently wept with her.

He couldn’t imagine how she had felt all those times. The times Donghae had hit her, the times Donghae had abused her with his words, the times Donghae had neglected her and she was left to suffer all alone. Jessica had taken all the physical pain as a reciprocation of love; no, she had believed it was love.

 “You are special, Jessica and you always will be.” He quickly wiped at his tears before cupping her face to make her look at him. He could see the traces of pain in her gaze and it made his heart sink. “Donghae didn’t see how special you are and he certainly didn’t deserve your love.”

 “I loved him so much, Onew, so, so much,” she sobbed again. Though it had been almost three years since, the memories still caused her heart to ache.

 “I know, I know,” he cooed. Onew her hair gently, as her tears subsided. She hiccupped softly, her slim body leaning limply against his. His arms were still around her while hers were nestled close to his and hers chest, feeling the steady heartbeat beating between them.

***

 “Krystal.”

Krystal opened her eyes wearily. She could feel them swollen and sore from all the crying. Her brain clicked as she rewound all the happenings. She wanted to believe it was all a dream but seeing her boyfriend sat next to her in Onew’s apartment told her that it wasn’t.

 “Hey,” said Doojoon soothingly. Krystal had crawled her way on to his lap, hugging him. “Sleep well?”

She shook her head. “I feel like my eyes are about to fall out of my sockets.” She covered her tired eyes and peeked through her fingers. “How are you?”

 “I’m alright.” She scrutinised him and he looked back at her. “Am I hiding anything else? No.” Krystal dropped her hands to her lap. It always surprised her at how good he was at reading her. “I had to do it. I promised Jessica and as a friend, it was the least I could do for her.”

 “I know… and I’m thankful that she had you.” She ran her fingers through her boyfriend’s hair.

 “So what’s bothering you?”

She shrugged. “I feel bad. I couldn’t be the sister she could open up to. Maybe there were times when she really did want to talk to me but I never gave her the chance and she’s had to keep it all to herself.”

 “Soojung, you know that’s not true,” said Doojoon. “She didn’t want to hurt you and all she wanted to do was protect you.”

 “Protect me from what? She was the one that needed it the most.”

 “From seeing how things had turned out between her and Donghae. She told me how you looked up to the both of them, and how enamoured you were with him.” Doojoon grimaced as he said this. “And I guess she didn’t want to ruin your idea of an ideal relationship.”

Krystal scoffed. “I’m not that naïve.”

 “You’re still her little sister.” Doojoon pushed her hair aside to glance at her face. “And she knows that she can reach out to you whenever. Keep that in mind.” He playfully tweaked her nose.

She scrunched her nose in annoyance and cradled her head into his neck.

Krystal realised just then how fortunate she was; to have a sister, as strong as Jessica and a boyfriend as understanding as Doojoon. She was blessed to be surrounded by such people and she wouldn’t trade anything for it all.

The sound of the door opening caught their attention.

 “Looks like they’re back.”

Krystal glanced at Doojoon, puzzled. “Back?” He nodded and pulled her off the bed, his arm contently around her waist. He teasingly tickled her and whispered in her ear making her giggle as they walked out.

 “Good morning,” greeted Onew. Jessica watched as her sister and Doojoon enter the kitchen together and she smiled. “Hungry?”

Krystal returned the smile, looking back and forth between Onew and her sister. It had only been a few hours but she could see the difference in Jessica. She seemed a lot brighter and happier.

Krystal slipped into a seat, her hands still tangled with Doojoon’s. “Starving. What’s on the menu?”

***

Because I left you guys hanging with the previous chapter. So here's a short update! Sad news, I'll be having one or two more chapters left before it ends :'( 

P.S. totally LOVE Jessica's OST. Can't get enough of her voice! <3