Four years.

The wait was long.

It was long and I've always hated it.

Anything that involves the word 'waiting' could instantly bring down my mood. It's probably just me being too impatient most of the time or maybe because the idea of waiting is starting to irritate me so much ever since a certain someone decided to leave me. It wasn't her fault, I know it that much, but I was blaming her for her decision and yes, I do realize that I once said that I was proud of her and she should really be taking her chance to study there.

I let out an exhasperated sigh. Selfish, I know.

I'm at a Christmas Eve party at a friend's place. This is my way of passing a should-have-been-a-great-moment without being so pathetic and alone at my apartement. It was Minhyuk's idea too that I ended up being here, sitting on a chair in the balcony where the others were having a drinking challenge inside. That Minhyuk told me that he knew about me being single. He said it's okay to spill the truth to him and he'd be willing to be my callback guy when I need one. I was embarrassed though. Now I realize how suspicious I must look when I lie to people.

Well, tonight is the first night I asked him to be my partner for this party.

Ah, really sad, Yongsun.

"Five...! Four...! Three...!"

Two...

Another Christmas passed by without her.

"Merry Christmas!"

I chuckled at myself. What am I saying? I should be used to this already.

Ever since my mother and sister passed away in a tragic accident, I was always alone. I was broken hearted and it was nothing like those times where I broke up with my boyfriend. I believe I've already said that I've never took anyone inside my apartement. Well, guess what, I've been doing the same thing with my life. Everyone thinks a woman like me can't be single. They always said someone like me should have a boyfriend, if not then it must be a girlfriend. I never asked why people keep thinking about me in such way because I was feeding them with what they want to hear from me. It's always easier that way. I don't get to bother answering various questions that involve my personal space.

Obviously, I never let anyone get into my life, not a single soul.

No one knows I've been single for two years before I met her.

Ah, wrong, that sounded like a lie.

I'm still single even after I met her and get to know her better.

We're bestfriends, I think. I don't know if I should still address someone as a bestfriend at my age, it doesn't sit well enough in my opinion. But aside from that, we're just very close with each other and I do have a crush on her. Honestly, I bet you would love her as well once you know her better.

Moon Byulyi came into my life not as a love companion though.

But she managed to steal my heart without even trying.

I let her into my life, it's in a package where I also let her enter my apartement.

Ever since I knew her, she's always been around me. I don't know what makes me believe in her but I found myself giving her the trust I know I would never give anyone else so easily. I still don't know wether she actually earned it from me or I'm actually just rewarding her with it. Does she trust me, you ask? That was obvious, wasn't it? Of course someone like her would recklessly give her trust to me without second thoughts. It was all good until she decided to leave for college at a cooking academy in another country.

And I was broken hearted again.

Then she called me and told me she won't be back until graduation.

My heart broke again.

We weren't even dating and yet I feel so broken hearted not being able to see her for that long. I really wanted to move on, I wanted to have someone who would stay at my side and who will always be there when I need them. "Wake up, Yongsun... You will never get anyone with that." I reminded myself before I close my eyes slowly and let out a soft exhale.

"Noona, you okay?" I knew he was standing by the balcony door.

I nodded, my eyes were still closed.

I heard his footsteps getting clearer and headed towards me.

"Merry Christmas, Solar-noona." He told me.

I don't know if I'm being rude, but instead of saying the same thing to him, I whispers something else.

"I really miss her, Minhyuk. I want to see her."

I finally opened my eyes when I heard him sighing. "You said she looks like me, right?"

"Um, yeah but that doesn't mean seeing you relief me at all. Actually, seeing you mostly making me missing her more."

"Then should I stop seeing you?"

"What? No, that's not-"

"Relax, I know what you mean."

I nodded. "Okay, then what are you leaning to with that?"

Before you ask anything, I will tell you. Minhyuk knows I'm in love with Byulyi.

I watched him shifting and turning to me with a smile. "Seriously, you're starting to creep me out." I said, frowning.

I could sense something is up but I couldn't quite tell what it was. It seemed like he's also expecting me to know what he's thinking because he rolled his eyes when it takes too long for me to wipe off the frown on my face. I could hear his soft groan before he's starting to explain what he's been thinking. "Well, we both know we're platonic." That is entirely true, by the way. "You may hit me and I will stop." I didn't get what he was saying but the next thing I knew I was already in his warm embrace.

I instantly melted into his arms. The hug was really comfortable and I think I really need it right now.

He may look like Byulyi, but he's not her. The sc