I have made up my mind.

Actually, I’ve made up my mind since yesterday’s encounter with Byulyi’s so-called friend, Yeonjoo, but this morning as I woke up from what seemed to be a flashback dream to the time I first saw her, my decision has increased to a precise one hundred percent. I’m going to ask her to marry me—soon.

I have thought about it even though it didn’t take that much time but I am sure this is what I need to do before everything is too late.

I can worry about Byulyi having a crush on someone and her plan to confess later, what matters right now is I need to let her know what I’m feeling for her and what I want from her. Sometimes it irked me seeing Byulyi being so blind about my obvious hints and it makes me want to drop more obvious hints until I started to think, hints aren’t taking us anywhere so I will just do it without her having a single idea about my proposal.

It’s too risky, I know.

There are so many possibilities things could have gone wrong. Rejection was the biggest fear for anyone who knows the feeling of planning a proposal—let alone without getting into any ‘dating’ stage before. It’s almost like as if asking a stranger to date you but in this case, the stranger has become your best friend and you’re going to ask her to marry you instead.

I must have gone crazy, you think.

Well, love makes you do crazy things and I will admit, when it comes to her, crazy things become normal. At first, I thought it was crazy to feel jealous over Byulyi’s little sister—for god’s sake, they’re sisters, I shouldn’t have worry even just for a tiny bit but I did. Then comes the time when the girl Yoo Yeonjoo ran towards Byulyi and hugged her so tight until I clenched on my fist hard enough for my nail to scratch my index finger.

It was way crazier than any jealousy I ever felt.

Yeonjoo was very pretty, I will admit that. Her face was so small, she’s still shorter than Byulyi—and I hate to say this—but sure as hell they look cute standing next to each other. The way Byulyi calls her name with such affection sends me off a cliff—I hated that so much.

But despite any of that, I managed to be polite enough to greet Yeonjoo along with her grandparents. It may be just me missing the warmth of being surrounded by family members because I’m liking how Yeonjoo’s grandparents treating me, Byulyi and her sisters too. Yeonjoo is even showing such a great hospitality but her constant clinginess towards Byulyi drives me to the edge.

Nonetheless, it was still a pleasant lunch.

But I don’t know what came over me when I gave Byulyi my cold shoulders after that lunch. It could have been the jealousy that takes me over and for once I don’t feel bad for letting Byulyi suffered a little from my cold treatment. Byulyi and I aren’t dating so it was wrong of me to treat her like that but another thought came into my head saying: we’re not together but we’re always acting like we are, does this makes us in a no-strings-attached kind of relationship minus any of us knowing each other’s feelings in the first place?

It was too far-fetched but doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

That night I fell asleep right after I’m done packing my stuff. Knowing Byulyi, I know she will carry me to her bed so I let myself doze off on top of my luggage. I was right, I pretended to be deep asleep as she lifted me up in her arms even until she put me down and kneel next to the bed, not doing anything but I know she’s staring at my sleeping state.

I couldn’t tell what look she has as she stares at me. I feel the huge urge to open my eyes and ask what she’s thinking but when I felt her hand on my cheek, caressing it ever-so-gently, I smiled with my eyes closed and I think I also lean to her touch—I can’t help it okay. I love it whenever she does this and I never question it to her—maybe I should because next thing I felt was her soft lips against my exposed forehead before saying a soft ‘goodnight’.

That moment I slept with the thought of Byulyi must be feeling the same way towards me. I just know it and having that thought alone makes everything falls into their own place. It fits just right.

So, when I woke up earlier than her that morning, I’ve made up my mind to tell her and propose to her. The idea of propose came originally because Yeonjoo said to Byulyi that she can’t date anyone until Yeonjoo graduate—I know Byulyi didn’t take her words seriously, but if I combine what she said and what came to my mind last night, it makes sense if I just skip the ‘dating’ part.

The look on Byulyi’s face made me want to laugh so hard but I hold it in.

Despite me waking up with the thought of ‘I want to propose and marry Moon Byulyi’ and then use the ‘I want to learn to be a good wife’ alibi at her, Byulyi still play along with my antic. That’s just how she is, she knows I can be weird at times and yet still go along with the flow—although sometimes she teases me to no end—see? She must have developed some feelings for me for being able to stand my weird self.

Right?

Ugh, c’mon Solar, you can’t doubt your decision now.

Not when it is the perfect time for you to tell her that you love her and you want to marry her. But really, it’s amazing how oblivious Byulyi is. That morning I picked out her outfit for the day, I choose the ones that’s my favorite and later on I told her this is my way of learning on how to be a good wife. I fed her some of the breakfast this morning, with the whole couple-y gesture.

“Byul-ah, say aah.”

Still, she’s oblivious enough—but she does get flustered so I guess that makes up for it.

After breakfast and before I bid goodbye to Byulyi’s family, I managed to talk to her mother alone. It’s crazy how sure I am for this decision until I have the courage to talk to Byulyi’s mother about it. It was subtle though since I don’t want to freak her out by straight up telling her ‘I want to marry your daughter’ — that’s a little too extreme.

Surprisingly enough, her mother knows that Byulyi may like me more than just as a friend.

“How…?”

With her motherly smile, she says “I’d like to call it a mother’s intuition.”

Then a silence came upon us, her mother didn’t say anything else and it was as if she knows there’s something that I want to tell her and I’m currently gathering up my courage. “Whenever you’re ready, dear.” She spoke and it makes me smile—glad knowing her mother seems very supportive against things that will make Byulyi happy.

Taking a deep breath, I dare to look at her mother’s eyes.

“I know this must be too sudden and I can understand if you’re against it. But you’re her mother and I think you should know.” The way she looks at me is filled with encouragement, as if she tells me that I’ve done a good job this far.

And that helps, really helps.

“I would like to marry your daughter.”

Right when I finished talking, she went and hugged me on the spot. I don’t know how to respond so I just hug her back and couldn’t hold out the big smile. She didn’t ask anything about it, all she says was a simple: “Thank you.” — and I didn’t get it at first.

I had no chance to ask why she’s thanking me but I’d like to think she’s feeling grateful that there’s someone who loves Byulyi so much to even decide on spending the rest of their life with her.

“Marriage is a big step in life, just make sure you’ve thought about it well and Byul may even say ‘no’ but if she really did so, I hope you won’t give up so easily on her. She’s just very—”

“—oblivious,” I finished with a smile. “I know, I’ve waited so long to even realize that but don’t worry. She’s worth the fight if I have to try harder to get inside her heart.”

“She’s very stupid if she ever says no to such a sweetheart.” I blush at that.

Now I’m sure she gets ‘the grease’ from her mother.

Byulyi came into the scene and told me that we need to go now. The farewell goes from her mother, little cute Umji, Byulyi’s father—though it’s still a little awkward—and then Yuju. It was funny that almost all members of the Moon family know about Byulyi and I have feelings for each other unless Byulyi herself. That time in the ice ring, Yuju told me to confess to Byulyi.

I was at a loss of words and failed to hide it when she said, “You’re being very obvious, unnie.”

Sigh, yes, I know I at lying.

I told her I just don’t know how to start it all and Yuju said she will talk to her sister, convincing her to confess first and I was grateful for that. Until she made her way towards me after chatting a little with Byulyi, before bidding our farewell, she sighs.

“It’s no use, unnie. I think you should make the first move. She’s hopeless.”

“It’s okay, Yuju-ah.” She was taken aback at the confident tone—just yesterday I told her I don’t even know how to start the topic so I can tell Byulyi about my feelings and now I’m all confident about taking the first move. I pulled Yu