Story Title: 5/5

I like that it hints to the genre of your story and is also intriguing

Graphics: 8/10

The members are okay like that, but it's awkward because of the setting and positioning, and while the clothes do sort of match with the scheme, it doesn't feel right.

Description/ Foreword: 9/10

A few grammar mistakes and such, but the description hooks the reader without revealing much. Points for a murder preview in the foreword! It definitely makes the reader to keep reading!

Original: Twelve contestants joined a reality show where they compete and try to survive the life in the woods for two weeks. But what if all the games and mystery will turn into a reality? Someone is the wolf but is pretending to be a rabbit. This time, they do not need to compete for the money and fame because this time, they need to fight for their lives. Find out what will happen to this Reality Show Gone Wrong.

Revised: Twelve contestants joined a reality show to survive life in the woods for 2 weeks. They played games and activities that included anything involving the word "terrifying." But what if the games and mystery became a reality, all because someone was the wolf pretending to be a rabbit? This time, the contestants didn't need to compete for money and fame, only their lives. What was going to happen during this reality show gone wrong?

Plot: 30/30

The plot developed quickly and the first kill was at chapter 6. It was detailed and fast-paced, while still keeping things interesting and slow enough for the reader to grasp what was happening. There were a lot of good plot twists and mystery with light comic relief in between, which helped keep the drama from becoming too high.

Characterization: 14/15

The depth given to the characters to make their personalities pliable and interesting is great! It was quite original to depict Exo in a realistic way that was not superficial. However, characters like Kyungsoo are quite flat.

Writing Style and Grammar: 17/20

Overall, you did a good job with minor mistakes, but it is puzzling why the dialogue is in bold. It's okay, but people usually use bold font for emphasis on certain parts or for importance.

Personal Enjoyment: 9/10

I enjoyed reading this chilling and exciting thriller! When the action picked up, I was on the edge of my seat, and I definitely did not expect something like this! I like Minseok's foreshadowing in chapter 6! It makes it seem like he's the killer... when he's not (in my opinion). You have interesting characters that make me really suspicious as to what they're hiding.

Total: 96/100 Good job! Fighting!


 

COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS: I would fix the grammar mistakes because it gets really annoying sometimes. It's not a big problem, it just confuses the reader sometimes.
REVIEWED ON: 14/3/15