Story Title : 3.5/5

The title is okay, I guess I can already take the hint from the title itself. There's nothing special about it, but that doesn't mean it is not worth reading. I just hope the story didn't go as typical or repetitive as in other fanfics.

Graphics : 8/10

I like the poster! It's simple and minimalistic. I dig those kind of concept, actually. So, credits to the graphic designer. A few points off because I think it'll look great if there's a quote or something.

Description : 7/10

Again, I don't really have much to point other than to advice that the description kind of... give everything away? I understand the whole phobia thing, but, phobia is 'fear', right? Correct me if I am wrong. Its just... what makes him 'phobia' of her? She's just clingy... Overall, it is fine just the way it is. ^^

Plot : 20/30

I am going to evaluate this chapter by chapter.

Chapter 1: Ms. Annoying

The story started with Dae's point of view. Okay, he basically avoid this 'Hara' girl, seemingly disturbed that she treated him 'special'. I can't help but think, what makes her scary? Because, I get the vibe this is just an 'annoying' kind of gesture, and it may be influenced from the way Dae is embarassed whenever she's doing it infront of his friends.

Chapter 2: Could you be my boyfriend now?

Still with Dae's perspective. It feels like a normal routine for Dae to receive cheesecake for Hara. Can I have some too? Okay, ignore that. I was being lame. So, Dae have other 'fans' too, and it have to be the 'mean girls'. Dae is actually kind enough to set aside his 'phobia' for this girl and help her out, then something happen... and the scene repeats itself in Hara's point of view.

Chapter 3: Make her fall for you

Yes. The sub-title says it all. Aside from Hara making new friends, Himchan's point of view includes Dae's and Himchan's agreement to 'distract the fangirl' and, bluntly, Himchan likes her. I am a little confuse in this part: "If we both fall for each other, she is mine. Deal?" I mean, isn't the whole point is Dae telling Himchan to seduce her? It seems like a bet instead of, you know, one that only benefits Dae. Well, maybe it is a bet. I am just confused by Dae's way of proposing the idea.

Overall: The story flow is well-paced. I just want to clarify that changing the character's POV is a good thing, give the readers a taste of their emotions in certain situations. However, the repetitive scenes turned me off. Sometimes, it's better to include new scenes, just so it doesn't make reader feel like... reading repetitively?

Characterization : 12.5/15

Daehyun: The boy who likes cheesecake. He is most likely popular, given his own set of fangirls, including Hara. I feel that his character is quite strong, who gets irritated easily and this 'phobia' thing is out of him. The only personality I get from him is his irritation. There's also some sort of hero in him, which is quite normal.

Hara: This girl is persistent, have a high determination and very pushy. She's not clingy, I can't take her as that. Clingy is only applied to having constant touches physically with a person. E.g she likes hugging him, holds his hands, kisses him etc. Other than that, it could be in terms of communication such as constantly texting or calling him. That is as much as I could describe her. She's basically a fangirl that approaches Daehyun more openly.

Himchan: This gentleman appears in Chapter 3. He apparently falls for Hara, even by their brief and first meeting. His personality still stands as mysterious for me. He could be planning world domination, you know.... joking! Himchan is kind.

Overall: Such distinct and well-grouped personality. It is almost realistic, except Hara's. Or maybe that's just how obsessive fangirl works.

Writing style and Grammar: 12/20

Your writing style is easy to follow, though I wish you touched more in expressing their emotions. Yes, there are plenty that you mention but the direct expression didn't really intrigue me. Think of a painting, describe it. The painting won't tell you that it is painted blue or orange or red, it tells you a story. It's not about telling a certain character is jealous, it is more to how his heart clenches, his thoughts went blank and he was out of words to describe because all he think about is the realization that someone could be worthy enough for her. Grammar-wise, it is not major except for wrong spelling and misuse of words. I suggest you to read before posting or hire a beta reader.

Personal Enjoyment : 5/10 

Total : 68/100

COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS: This is interesting, it's like a duel over the heart of a girl. It's cute, actually. However, this is done in so many ways, with the main lead to winning the girl's heart or turn out angsty. Even from this typical storyline, it'll help a lot if you add your own twist and unique touch. All in all, don't give up! I can see the potential in this story.
REVIEWED ON: 11/05/15