Story Title: 4/5
I am actually glad that you didn’t have the word ‘arranged’ in your title. There are far too many stories out there with the word ‘arranged marriage or the like. It’s overused to the point where it’s become mediocre at this stage! So, your title is original for its plot. However, I did not feel that you focus too much on the ‘inheritor’s’ theme in your story, so for that reason, I couldn’t give you full marks in this section. I will go more detail into the plot below. Also, I thought the title is a little bland for my taste. It doesn’t strike out or intrigue me to click on the story, despite the fact that you took a clichéd plot and transmogrified it into something of your own. You don’t have to change the title, of course. This is solely my opinion. However, if you do wish to change it, then you could come up with a few relevant titles, and maybe hold a poll for your readers to decide? 
Again, this is solely my opinion!

Graphics: 10/10
I absolutely love the graphics! I’m not sure if you did it yourself but whoever constructed the poster should be given a round of applause. I absolutely love the purple theme in the background, and the rings in poster/background. It definitely pertains well to Jinki and Nayeon’s marriage. I can’t give much criticism over this. I think the graphics are perfect for the story.

Description/Foreword: 8/10
I will talk about the foreword first, because it definitely caught my eye. The news article at the start just draws the reader in. I absolutely loved the gossip tone of voice that you used there. It’s a smart idea and it’s very unique. I still haven’t come across such an interactive foreword such as yours. This is where most of your marks go towards. The layout is well established and very meticulous. I love how neat it is! It’s so refreshing for the eyes.
Now, your description is a bit lacking, though I seriously LOVE the quote you used. Sometimes, less is more, but I think you can do without the character pictures since you have a separate chapter introducing the characters. Your description is often like the back of a book. No one will see the pictures unless they click on your story. Maybe add a bit more drama into your description to draw in those readers! I say you can leave the quote in, and just a sentence or two regarding the main characters.

Plot: 26/30
I suppose your plot is tackling a major cliché that transcends the boundaries of just AFF. Arranged marriages are everywhere in the media, from books to dramas to movies. It’s very, very difficult to come up with something original regarding this topic. However, I think you did add elements to the plot that made it more unique! I love reading romance, but I get fed up of stories that only rely on romance. What I loved most about your plot are the relationships that Jinki and Nayeon have with their siblings, their parents and even their friends. You cut out paper characters and you moulded them into relatable human beings. You gave us an insight into their securities, their pasts, their fears and what makes them happy. This is what made your plot more unique. The main plot focused on Jinki and Nayeon’s marriage, but you prevent the reader from getting bored by adding in other mini-plots such as Kibum’s background, the diversity of the Moon siblings, the Choi family and even the parents. 
Do you know what I loved the most? The fact that you used Barcelona instead of America or Canada! Seriously, it’s very nice to read about the characters going to Europe instead of America for once! You don’t have them cooped up inside Korea or Jinki’s plot. This adds more realism to your story. You basically made the whole story more credible.

Writing Style & Grammar: 16/20
You have a very elegant way of writing, and I can clearly tell that as a writer, you develop as your plot progresses. I can depict your evolution as a writer as I read further on. Well done! That’s a prominent sign of improvement, and that’s what we all want, right? To be better writers. I’m sure you sent in your story to be reviewed so that you as a writer, too, can improve. There are some simple grammatical errors that you tend to do, so I will mention them here. It’s nothing too cringe-worthy, but you should keep them in mind when re-reading over your work for future reference.
1. You tend to jump between past and present tense sometimes. Not too much, but it is very obvious. The majority of your story is in past tense so try and avoid using present tense too much. I know that we get carried off when writing, but a simple recheck of your work should solve this matter!
2. Overuse of pronouns at the start of your paragraphs: I don’t think this is an overwhelming matter, but you like plunging your readers into the element of mystery. I love mystery in a story but sometimes, you overuse pronouns and it makes it difficult for me to know who the person is, or who is talking, really. Don’t be afraid to use names! Then again, don’t overdo it with names either. 
3. Now, your most obvious grammatical errors, lie in the use of commas and full stops after direct speech. You tend to use commas in places where you don’t need to, and the same goes for full stops. I’ll note some examples below and provide the revised version.
E.g. CHAPTER 4
She took his hands away, "Aren't you a bit too touchy, I'm sure your wife wouldn't like you doing this."
He chuckled, "Does your husband know of your friendly service, or is it something he condones."
Revised: 
She took his hands away. “Aren’t you a bit too touchy? I’m sure your wife wouldn’t like you doing this.”
He chuckled, “Does your husband know of your friendly service, or is it something he condones?”
E.g. Her father shot her a look of threat, "Yes sweetie," he emphasized, "What's the rush?"
“I've got a photo shoot tomorrow in Tokyo so I need to hurry before I miss my flight." She bowed, "Thank you for the wonderful dinner."
Revised: 
Her father shot her a look of threat. “Yes sweetie,” He emphasized, “What’s the rush?”
“I’ve got a photo shoot tomorrow in Tokyo, so I need to hurry before I miss my flight.” She bowed. “Thank you for the wonderful dinner.”
Now, do you see what is happening here? When you are using verbs that are describing direct speech (this includes ‘said’/ ‘laughed’/ ‘retorted’ etc.), then you use commas after the inverted commas, and you may use commas to continue on the speech, as seen in the first sentence of the 2nd example.
If you are using words that don’t describe direct speech (Like ‘She bowed’, and ‘She took his hands away’), then you use full stops at the end of the inverted commas. You only use commas when you describing the way a person talks! If there’s talking but you aren’t describing it, then use full stops! Hope this makes sense.

Characterisation: 15/15

I think I’ve already mentioned how deep and three-dimensional your characters. Need I say more? They are so relatable and they are so human. There’s nothing overly dramatic about their actions and their decisions. 
Jinki is a sweetheart. I absolutely adore him as a person. I love how he doesn’t yield to this side later on in the story, the bit where he surprises Nayeon and helps to file a divource! It totally caught me off guard. I thought he was going to beg her till the end, but no human being would be that submissive! I loved him to chapter twenty, seriously. 
Nayeon’s insecurity is very interesting. Some might say that she’s too possessive or that she’s too melodramatic, but given her childhood, where she endured rejection, I think her actions are empathetic enough. She’s sweet, innocent in a certain way and she has a sense of dignity.
Minho and Minrin are an interesting pair. I like how you didn’t make the antagonists totally evil. They have a conscious to them, which is understandable because they are not psychotic. Minho, especially, made me think he’ll turn good at some point. Maybe he will, who knows? When he refrained himself from taking pictures of Nayeon, he made me respect him as a character (And I hated him from the start.)
The siblings are great and diverse. The friends are amazing (Especially Kibum.) I can see that you thought out the characters well. You gave them their strengths and flaws, and created a group of diverse people for a complicated plot. Well done on that! You have made gaksitalGaksital say ‘Bingo!’ so many times. Your characters each have a unique voice. They aren’t redundant at all. I can go on for longer, but must stop here for the sake of space!

Personal Enjoyment: 8/10
I think your story is definitely a diamond in the rough, meaning it stands out in the midst of all those cliché arranged-marriage stories. I would definitely recommend it to all Shinee fans, and especially fans that are avid readers of this genre/topic. I might even continue to read your story just to find out what will happen in the end. I’ve already fallen in love with all your characters. I’ve come to care for them, which means that you, as a writer, have accomplished something that most cannot. When a reader cares about your plot and your characters, you know you’ve achieved something fantastic! Well done, again. It was a pleasure to review your story.
Total: 87/100. Well done !!

COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS: Thank you for picking our shop !! Your story was really good and I enjoyed reading it. Keep on writing awesome stories author-nim ^.^
REVIEWED ON:7/3/15