Dear dairy,

The thought of he‘s perfect even though you don’t know who he is, he’s perfect even when all he needs to do say is hi. When he notices you that’s when you want to be perfect, but that is when reality hits you, you’re not. Still hoping that in his eyes you can become perfect, but he doesn’t want you to be perfect. He wants you with flaws and all, why? Because that’s when he wants to become you’re hero, your only savior. That complicated thing is called love, that feeling that comes after. Like that feeling that makes me do crazy things.

Ttyl, XOXO Ming

I grabbed my bowl of cornflakes and sat in the living room. I don’t know him but still he managed to break my heart with that 1 sentence. I started eating my cornflakes angry, why can’t I just shake it off. It’s not a big deal guys come and go, there’s still 6 others to hang out with. Why am I getting this upset? I threw my spoon on the table and stood up and went back to the kitchen.

There he was sitting on his phone. “ YOU” I pointed at him. He turned around and smiled at me. Agh. That cute smile, my heartbeat started to raise again. “Yes?” he asked me. My mind went blank, why now? I was supposed to give him a piece of my mind but what do you say if your mind can’t think clearly. I stumped my feet on the ground and turned around and went back to eating my cornflakes. This time disappointed, I’m making myself seem like a fool.

Hyunsik came from the kitchen and sat next to me. “I know we don’t know each other, but if you’re angry because I said you’re cute just like your brother, I’ll take it back. Don’t eat you’re breakfast angry” he said to me before going back in his phone. I looked at him with big eyes, forgetting I was eating and swallowed the cornflakes whole, which brought me back to my senses. I was coughing hard, Hyunsik was laughing while helping me. After I stopped coughing he handed me his glass of water. Yeah, I got an indirect kiss.

“You okay?” Hyunsik asked me still laughing. I was glad that I at least made him laugh. “Yes, thank you” I said to him. “You’re adorable” he said to me while looking deep in my eyes. My eyes grew big. Why do I feel so hyper and why am I getting all these dirty thoughts? His eyes was studying my face and came down at my lips. “When I told you to have fun I didn’t mean to fall in love” my brother bent down between me and Hyunsik. “Oppa” I said sarcastically. “Oppa yeah right, you want to hit oppa because I -blocked you two” he gave me a kiss on my forehead. “I would’ve loved too” I whispered. “Get ready we need to leave at 8” oppa went in the kitchen. “Cute” Hyunsik said before kissing my forehead and went after Sungjea oppa. I stood up to bring my bowl to the kitchen.

I lost balance and fell on the ground. He kissed me, Hyunsik kissed me. Omg he kissed me. A big smile grew on my face. “Missed me?” I felt a kiss on my cheek. I turned around and saw it was Illhoon oppa. “Nope’ I chuckled. “ Yah, WHO MADE YOU FORGET ABOUT ME?” he started to yell, I ran to the kitchen to put my bowl. “Yah, it’s morning, take it down a notch” Minhyuk oppa hit Illhoon oppa on the head. “No violence Minhyuk oppa” I came closer to hug him. “Not on you” he answered while hugging me back.

“What’s wrong with everyone this morning?” Eunkwang oppa came in the living room and said to us with sleepy eyes. “Morning oppa, I will go get ready” I hugged him and went to the bathroom to get ready.

I was done taking a shower, I was still hyper just because Hyunsik gave me a kiss on my forehead. I felt like I was on cloud 9, skipping here and there. I wasn’t watching where I was going and bumped in to Peniel. I fell with a thump on the ground. Thank god I had my bathrobe on. I can’t imagine him seeing me right now. “Ow Ming I’m so sorry, I’m still sleepy” he handed me a hand and helped me getting up. “It’s okay I should have looked where I was going” I straightened my bath rope. “YAH PENIEL” Illhoon came furious towards him. I quickly went to oppa’s room. “Auw hyung , I didn’t see nothing” poor Peniel, I just chuckled. I turned around and froze. He came closer and put his hand on my mouth. I screamed while my eyes grew big, I kept looking at the sky. Even though my eyes wanted to see low, I tried not to. Why was he right now? “I’ll get a towel, I’m sorry you had to see me like this” he said embarrassed while I buried my face in my hands. What am I supposed to say? Oh I don’t mind, you have a great body, which size are you? Can you do a lot with it? Oh my god my mind is thinking only dirty things and seeing him like this, isn’t helping either. “I’m covered up” he said embarrassed. I shook my head yes, I really don’t know why I did that. “You’re phone is ringing, who’s headache?” he handed me my phone. I quickly grabbed my phone and looked at the screen. “I’ll be going” he left the room.

I picked up.

Me: Hello

V: Good morning!!

Me: Good morning?

V: Yoomi lets grab coffee, me and Sa-rang are coming too.

Me: I can’t, I’m spending time with my oppa

V: Aww, you two are already together, I won’t disturb you guys. Bye, (Sa-rang screaming in the background) byeeeeeee.

I closed the phone, what was that? I shook my head and looked for some clothes to change in. apparently I didn’t bring anything cute to wear. I grabbed a black tee, a pink skirt and my black sneakers. I looked so plain I was disappointed. A phone was ringing I looked at the direction where the sound was coming from, it was coming from Hyunsik’s bag. Should I pick it up? Naah if it’s important they will call again right? The phone stopped ringing. I let out a sigh of relief. Then it started ringing again guess it’s important, I picked it up and saw ‘My only love’ written as caller ID. I kept looking at the screen before putting it back. And went back to my brother’s bed and just lied down.

It was all my imagination thinking he liked me. He has a girlfriend Ming, a girl that he calls his only love, that kiss didn’t mean a thing. It was just because you’re cute. You’re so stupid, why do I fall for jerks? The phone started to ring again. I stood up and grabbed the phone and was about to answer when Hyunsik came in the room and saw me with his phone. “Someone is calling you like crazy” I handed him the phone and passed him going out of the room.

Why do I feel so disappointed and heartbroken? I wish I never met you Hyunsik. Everyone finished getting ready I was playing with Peniel’s long arm throwing it up and down. He nagged that his arm was hurting and I called him a and he started to tickle me. “Let’s go Ming” Sungjea grabbed my arm and I followed him out of the house. In the van I sat next to Sungjea and Hyunsik came as last in the car sitting next me. My heartbeat started to beat fast again, even though I knew he had a girlfriend. “Can we have some music?” I asked Changsub oppa who was in front. “Yes” he put the radio on. It was BTS ‘Let me know’ I never heard this song. I was excited to hear Namjoon, but Taehyung ‘s voice captured my ears, I ended up listing to the song really carefully, word by word, especially Suga’s part but Namjoon’s part hit me, my eyes started to tear up, it hit me. This song is meant for me, I hurt Suga…..