Chapter 23: His Little Secret

“It’s going to be alright,” Junmyeon tried to hush me as we sat in his car after a while. “If he makes you cry, then, he’s just like me and every other ex-boyfriend you had. He’s not worth it.”

I blew my nose on the Kleenex he stocked in his car. I think I’ve never cried like this before. And take note, it’s not even a breakup but I feel so wronged. I felt like the whole world turned its back on me. Hell, Kris is my whole world.

And damn it, he turned his back on me. He went and didn’t even look back. Or was it me who didn’t look back? But what the heck, he didn’t even call my name!

I couldn’t actually take every word Junmyeon is telling me right now. I don’t even feel like my soul is one with my body at this moment. I feel so tired of crying, of hurting, of…everything that happened today.

I shut my eyes and sighed hard. Damn. When will this sinking feeling in my heart stop. My heart sank and I can’t make it float again. Perhaps, when it has lost in buoyancy, it’s really over.

“Sssshhhh,” he hushed me once again but every time he comforts me, I keep on breaking down. I keep on asking myself on the reasons why it had to turn to be like this. Why am I in someone else’s arms? Why am I crying over my present in front of my past?

It feels so wrong. This is so wrong.

No matter how comforting it is to feel that someone is there for you when the person you love the most just turned his back on you, this is not right. I shouldn’t be crying in front of him because it’s not appropriate.

“I have to go.” I told him as I fixed my face.

What’s there to fix anyway?

I look like a mess. My eyes are puffy and my nose is so red because of blowing too hard. I’m just really happy I didn’t apply any makeup today. Or damn, I’d be uglier than Ursula.

Junmyeon held my wrist when I was about to get out of his car. “Wait.” He told me.

I looked at him and he was concentrated on something. He is looking in front of us so I did the same. And I wish I hadn’t.

Because there he was, my world, being kissed by another woman.

And I was there, on the verge of breaking down.

this.

--

“Are you sure of what you’ve seen?”

Gina asked me the next day. She’s inside my room because I freaking need a hug right now. I couldn’t tell Ahyeon about it because I’m sure she’ll just tell me that I fell for another wrong man again. Gina is a bit hostile but at least she can take my side right now and she’ll tell me good advices.

Or at least good because I know her.

And yes, we skipped school.

I nodded and sobbed on the first two plies of the fifth Kleenex roll. Seriously. Fifth giant box of Kleenex. Imagine how I was drowning in tears that other night? Ocean. ing ocean of tears.

“Oh that guy!” She yelled with extreme emotions. “ it! I thought he’s a goody-goody one but in the end, he’s a Casanova!” She yelled once again.

I sobbed even more. The more I think about the scene that I saw, the more that I pity myself for even falling. Damn it. We haven’t even lasted a month and this is happening.

“And that Sooyoung !” She continued. “How could she blatantly lie about what she had done? What a dirty player!” She ranted while I cried harder.

He’s not kissing Sooyoung! I swear to God that she’s not Sooyoung.

I paused and thought.

Or maybe she is Sooyoung. The Sooyoung he is writing in his notes.

I sighed and shut my eyes. Did Soo- make some sense? Did s