Chapter 18: Nearby Supermarket

Kris laced his fingers with mine as we walked home that day. Up until now, I still couldn’t believe this. It still felt surreal. I still couldn’t make myself believe that I am here, holding hands with Kris Wu, dating him.

Well, how could I believe it? I don’t know where all his feels are coming from. He didn’t tell me how he liked me in the first place. He doesn’t tell me that he likes my smile, or my face or the way I dress or even my attitude.

He just told me that I’m different. I’m ordinary in his eyes.

And then there’s Sooyoung who gets too close to him at school. It’s as if she wanted to eat him alive, all for herself. I don’t like it. Hell, what kind of girlfriend wanted to see another girl ogle at her boyfriend like that? The only thing I’m curious is of their relationship. Why doesn’t Kris push him away?

I wanted to know. I want to know now because I know that the image of them laughing together would not make me sleep tonight. And I don’t want to come to school with huge bags under my eyes.

If I wanted to know, I had to know now – even though all these feels are killing me. Damn it! I didn’t want to spoil my moment with him!

I took a deep breath to gather up all the courage inside me. God knows how I needed every ounce of courage in me right now. This is the problem with me when I am with Kris, I tend to be blinded by all the nervous feelings that I even stutter with one word.

His effect on me!

“Kris?” I started as we stopped in front of our gate.

He looked at me and smiled. “Yes?” Damn it! It’s just one word and I can feel my intestines coil with one another as well as my brain starting to shut down as I see his smile. that smile, really.

“Uhh,” see his effect on me? Suddenly, I don’t know what to say. Suddenly, I felt like I don’t want to ask anymore because I would just embarrass myself when I start to talk. Damn it, Kim Ashin! Since when have I become this shy in front of boys? This is the first one.

He looked at me with pursed lip and waited for my next words.

“About you and Sooyoung…” My voice trailed as I saw his brows creased upon the mention of Sooyoung’s name. Come on, Ashin! Don’t turn back. You’ve already started it, you should finish the sentence!

“I know you told me you’ll never date her, I know.” I defended because I don’t want him to think that I am doubting him. But that’s what I am feeling right now, right? I am having doubts with their relationship and I am so…

“We’ll never date, Ashin. Sooyoung and I.” He told me.

“But you’re too close and I can’t help but feel jealous.” There, I said it. Damn it. Jealous. I am jealous.

He took a deep breath. “Ashin-“

“Don’t take it seriously. I am not going to ask you to stay away from her.” I cut his words. “I just wanted to know why the two of you are close. She laughs with you freely. She could hold you like it’s nothing for you. You spend most of your time at school with her. I’m sorry. I just can’t help but wonder about your relationship with her.” I ranted.

He was quiet. He was quietly looking at me.

I looked down and bit my lip. I don’t want us to fight over this stupid Sooyoung closeness thing.

“Now you know the consequences of dating me, Ashin.” He told me. “Are you going to back out?” He asked me.

I looked at him in shock. “What? No!” I shook my head. “I’m not going to back out because of jealousy.” I replied and he smiled at me.

“Perhaps, you should know that Sooyoung and I are just friends.” He told me as he reached for my hand. “We met at the library and I’m just close to her because we share a lot of things in common.” He explained. “I won’t talk to her if you