"L oppa?" you whispered his name, reaching out to him.

"Yes baby?" he came to your side, slightly pushing L.joe away from you. "What's wrong?"

"Is he real?" you pointed a shaking finger at L.joe who was standing about half a metre from your bed.

"As real as you can get," L said slowly, letting the words sink in. "I'm so sorry…"

Tears rolled down your cheeks. "All this time, he was alive?"

"I lied," L answered the question you were wanting to ask.

"How come he didn't come to see me?" you looked at L.joe, seeing four L.joes. Your vision blurred from the increasing amount of tears. "I thought I was going crazy."

"I'm so sorry baby. I had to do that for you and to clear my name," L.joe stepped forward. "I'll explain-"

"Don't," you interrupted him, your eyes filled with angry tears.

L.joe's eyes widened, "Baby?"

You looked out the window. "I'll tell you my side first."

*Guilt trip?* L smirked at L.joe. *Death wish is signed.*

L.joe didn't speak, knowing he deserved the guilt trip. *I deserve it. I faked my death, disappeared from her side when I told her that we would go through it together…*

"When you got shot, I clung to you like you were my lifeboat. Then Sungyeol oppa came and took me away. Even f(x) don't know why I'm in this state. They know I was somehow knew you but they don't know the whole story. I was then hospitalised because I didn't eat. I still don't except for the few treats L oppa had bought me the past few days. All the nutrients my body needs come from this tube," you lifted your arm with the IV tube connected. You paused for a few seconds, letting the first lot of information sink in. "Before I was hospitalised, I went looking for you. That was practically all I did every day. I would go to BTD and wait in front of it, hoping you and the rest of Infinite and Teen Top would come back, but you didn't. That was the day I had my first hallucination."

L.joe let some tears escape his eyes. *I was never told about her coming to BTD. I never knew…*

L looked at you sadly, "You don't have to explain-"

"I need to," you stared at L.joe with lifeless eyes. "I saw you. That hallucinati