I sat on the couch with the guys sitting across from me. Just staring at me wide eyed not speaking to me. I didn’t blame the looks of complete shock on my face. They couldn’t fathom why I had been in that situation with ae sook; so many times I had complained how much I hated her hanging on me all the time. So many times I had complained that she was a good friend but I couldn’t stand how she couldn’t tell that was all I wanted.

“Hyung…” Bambam said finally speaking. I looked up from my intertwined fingers to see him looking at me with a furrowed brow. “Ae sook?” was his only question. I sighed looking down again.

“I don’t know.” I said shrugging. “I like her ok.” I lied trying to cover for my stupidity.

“You like ae sook? Since when?” JR said completely shocked.

“Since now.” I said bitterly. The door slammed up stairs and I heard JB’s feet clopping down the stairs. I jumped up from my seated position on the couch. “Hey…How’s kairen?” I asked without thinking about it. Jb but me a glare.

“Fine, how else would she be?” he asked bewildered.

“I…I don’t know. I mean she ran out of here…I thought she was upset or something.” I mumbled scratching the back of my neck.

“Anni, she just left because she was embarrassed to have walked in on you like that. She isn’t upset at all.” Jb said shrugging. I opened my mouth to speak when he continued. “Why are you asking about kairen, shouldn’t you be wondering about ae sook? She was the one you embarrassed beyond belief, you ran out on her mid…you know…to see how kairen is…she’s probably upset. She’s the one you like after all.” I just stared at jb in shock. He hadn’t ever spoken to me so sternly before.

“I…I guess.” I said like a hurt puppy. What had I done? Had I screwed up that bad.

“You should hurry up…she’s waiting outside for you.” he said turning away from me and started tidying up. I looked at him even more confused.

“Why are you tidying up…?” I asked. We never tidied up unless we could barely walk from all the trash. It was barely messy.

“Kairen has her date thing with miyavi tomorrow, remember?” he said tossing some trash into the trash can. “I figured I’d help her out and tidy up.” I flinched at the mention of miyavi. I had totally forgotten about that playboy.

“We are really going to let her hang out with that jerk?” I said shocked. jb dropped a bunch of magazines to the ground making me jump with the loud smack.

“Yah…ae sook remember, she’s still waiting.” Jb said angrily. “Stop asking about kairen, what she does with her personal life is none of our business, just the same as what you do with yours is none of hers.” I stared at him agape. “worry about your own girlfriend not miyavi’s.” With that he turned and finished tidying up. I glanced at the boys who were just watching as bewildered as me. I sighed shaking my head as I hurried up stairs to where ae sook was supposed to be waiting. When I opened the door to outside I saw ae sook leaning against her car on the side of the road.

“Hey.” I said catching her attention. I moved over to lean on the side of her car beside her.

“Hi.” She said softly. “Mark…” she said fidgeting with the bottom of her skirt. it was now, watching her all nervous like this that I noticed how much she really liked me. I sighed deeply looking at her, I reached out and grabbed her wrist pulling hand towards me as I flipped it over looking at it. I opened her fingers with mine before intertwining our fingers.

“Go out with me ae sook.” I said softly. She gasped and looked at me wide eyed. I didn’t know if this was okay for me to do, or even if this would successfully kill my useless feelings, but I would do it, I would give ae sook the chance she obviously wanted.

“Nae…oh oppa!” she cheered and flipped over throwing her arms around my neck as she hugged me tightly pressing her body against mine. It did nothing to me, I felt nothing, there was no speeding of my heart like with kairen, and there was no shortness of breath. I was just hoping that it would grow to be that. I wrapped my arms around her waist hugging her back like a normal guy would do in this situation.  

I sat in front of the mirror flipping the scissors over in my hand as I stared at my hair. It was so long I couldn’t even see the bottom of it in the mirror; I was debating on whether to cut my hair. I took a deep sigh and slammed the scissors down on the dresser. I couldn’t do it, I liked my long hair. Giving up on trying to distract myself from what happened tonight with mark, I grabbed my computer flopping down on my couch and pulled up fantastic fantasies.

“Yugyeommie, we can’t…you are too young.” I whispered. Yugyeom just gave me that beautiful smile of his as he stepped closer placing both hands on my hips. He pushed me back firmly yet gentle so my back was pinned against the chalk board.

“Come on teach, it’s a mutual attraction.” He said softly his breathe brushing against my skin.

“Don’t call me teach…I’m just a substitute.” I said as I felt myself giving in to him. he was so…persuasive.

“Oh, but I like it…teach.” He said again as he nibbled at the lobe of my ear. I let out a little gasp of breath making yugyeom chuckle. He pushed away from me making me look to him shocked as he slowly backed away from me to the door never breaking eye contact. I opened my mouth to ask what he was doing when I heard the soft click of the lock on the door before he reached up and did the latch.

“Yugyeom.” I said again shaking my head as my last ditch effort to avoid this. As soon as he was standing in front of me again I knew it was a pointless effort. He grabbed my face with both hands and pulled my face up to his taking my mouth. He was gentle like I had always thought he would be. He brushed his tongue across my bottom lip asking for permission. Ever polite to the teacher, I was hesitant only a moment before I opened my mouth letting him deepen the kiss.

“Teach…” he said again before he grabbed my waist picking me up off my feet. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck to hold on as he reached between us to my blouse.

I shut the computer surprised at how well I had written tonight, I had pushed all thoughts from mark out of my head and was able to write a great one with yugyeom. I had already gotten thirteen comments from my avid readers. I sighed happily as I lay back on the couch staring up at the ceiling.

“Maybe I was just in a slump?” I mumbled to myself. Maybe I didn’t really have feelings for mark; I just had hope that I would have someone like the mark in my stories…someone to experience my stories with. I hopped up and moved to the mirror grabbing the scissors. I shoved them into my drawer smiling at myself in the mirror. I didn’t need to change myself because of mark, there weren’t any feelings there…not real ones and they should be easy to overcome.