Yoona watches as Taeyeon made her way out from the ward, standing in front of the big window, watching as Sooyoung sleeping calmly. Without turning her head, Yoona’s eyes followed Taeyeon’s step, then she turned to peek at her cousin. Jessica gave her tall cousin a sigh when their eyes meet.

It’s been 4 days, and they’re pretty much observing and studying Taeyeon’s moves, more or less knowing the doctor’s schedules.

Taeyeon usually has a full day work-hour, but since Sooyoung is currently in the hospital from the accident, the latter usually only leaving the room when duty calls, more like doing her routine checkup or examination on her patients.

And if the nurse calls, Taeyeon usually leaves the room about an hour or less.

Yoona has been talking to Jessica, they’re trying hard, looking for a way so that Yoona can at least visiting the tall brunette inside the room, not standing out there all day.

Changing glances, Jessica stood up from her seat before going after her girlfriend. Jessica needs time with Taeyeon, they need to talk, and so does Yoona with Sooyoung.

Wasting no time, Yoona took the cue as her chance to break the strict rule Taeyeon set in. She doesn’t care anymore. She needs to see how Sooyoung’s doing, she needs to know how far the treatment and the so called medicine and all that medical equipment work to get Sooyoung better, she needs to be there for Sooyoung, she wants to be there.

She needs to touch Sooyoung, so she can still keep her promise about staying side by side forever, about being there when they need each other, and no distance is far enough to break them anymore, not that a stupid wall or glasses can keep her from coming over to where Sooyoung is.

Longing that growing more and more can’t keep her far away from Sooyoung anymore.

The thought she kept assuring herself two weeks ago about she can live without Sooyoung when she decided to leave Sooyoung’s apartment vapor into thin air, leaving her with nothing, nothing but regret over believing such a nonsense, nothing but guilt for getting the love of her life lying on the bed helplessly, nothing but blame over herself for giving up on them…

And just nothing but the pain of thoughts about what will happen for her tomorrow, scared by the thought of spending a second without Sooyoung, without knowing if Sooyoung will gladly take her hand and walk with her like how they used to, without knowing if Sooyoung will still open her arms widely to catch her when she jumps on the latter, without knowing if Sooyoung will still giving her that reassuring kisses when she got into a tired and stressful day.

Yoona takes her steps hastily into the ward, going inside the room and closed the door right away. Taeyeon’s threatened feels like that fragile bubbles that immediately popped right when she steps inside the room.

Not that she isn’t scared, for the moment, when she knows that she only has an hour or even less to meet that woman she misses so much, that she is madly in love with, that woman who turn her into a better person, someone who she is willing to take every risks for, her Sooyoung who makes everything just more than worthy right when she falls into the tall brunette’s embrace.

And of course, knowing that she has such a limited time to have Sooyoung for herself, she may need to think about something before Taeyeon’s come back, or maybe, maybe she can just deal with Taeyeon’s wrath later.

“..mi-miss Yoo-yoona!!” the nurse stuttered, surprised when Yoona stepped in “..yo-you ca-can’t get in!”

“I won’t take long..” Yoona said.

“Bu—but--..”

“And Dr.Kim is not here..” Yoona cut “..so, please..” the latter whispered, almost begging.

The nursed nervously fidgeting, her lips opened and closed, but nothing comes out. She is just being in a difficult moment. The thought of Yoona’s soft plead make her heat softened, she has seen the latter crying while she is waiting outside, and she knows how much Yoona misses the patient. But her mind occupied by her boss’s firm and clear demand, and obviously, getting fired is the only thing she can deal if the doctor finds this out.

The nurse gulped, turned her head away from Yoona when she whispered “..I.. don’t see anyone here..”

“Thank you..” Yoona quickly made her way to Sooyoung’s bed, and the sight of Sooyoung covered in bandage around some parts of her, the cuts and bruises that slowly faded crushed her more than she has ever thought, breaking her heart to pieces. And every pieces of it blame her, drown her to guilt, anger, and sadness.

The sight of all that medical equipment around which attached on the lying helpless girl tears Yoona up.

It makes her wonder about how much Sooyoung is dealing with the pain? Can’t help but wondering if all that pain killers, medicines, and all are helping the latter to fight through the pain, wondering if Sooyoung can still feel that pain in her deep sleep..

Yoona moves Sooyoung’s right arms that stiffly bandage in a cast slightly and gently, not wanting to cause even a little pain for the already helpless woman before sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes all on Sooyoung with tears falling more.. and more..

“The accident caused miss Sooyoung a really bad injury.. and aside from the cuts, bruises, and the broken arm..” Dr.Han said, taking his breath to deliver the news he is so sure about that Taeyeon wouldn’t like to hear “she got a hard impact on her head.. which caused hemorrhaging..”

“What?!”

“I am sorry, Dr.Kim…” Dr.Han said apologetically “but she got a pretty bad brain damage..” he added “..i afraid that it will cause a bad impact..”

“For now, since she already passed her critical phase..” Dr.Han continued “..all we can do now is waiting for her to wake up and continue the further examination..” he said “..you know Dr.Kim.. she can wake up anytime...and..”

“..don’t tell me..”

“..maybe not..” he added softly “..and, Dr.Kim, she got a traumatic brain injury to the occipital lobe of the brain..” Dr.Han explained “..that means, even if she does wake up, she may get several problem to her vision sensory..” Dr.Han continued “..which can lead to a complete loss of visual sensation for a temporary time.. or even maybe—..”

“No..” Taeyeon cut “..you don’t know that..”

“And we just want the family to prepare for any kind things that possible happen..”

“No..” Taeyeon shook her head in denial “..go back and re-check it..”

“Dr.Kim..”

“You’re a doctor!!! Do something!!!”

“We’re doing our best, Dr.Kim…”

“Than your best is not good enough..” Taeyeon grabbed Dr.Han collar “..go back and bring her out from that damn room!! And tell me that she is okay!!!”

“We’re sorry Dr.Kim.. we’ll keep you inform of any kinds of examination result from Miss Sooyoung..” he bowed than leaving the poor petite girl fall sitting on the floor, tears flowing like a river stream.

Yoona took Sooyoung left hand, bringing the latter’s hand to her face, pressing her lips on Sooyoung’s back hand before she place that warm hand on her cheek, missing that caring and loving warmth. Still hoding Sooyoung’s hand tightly, she put their hand on Sooyoung’s tummy with her eyes are not leaving the sleeping girl even a second.

Tears are streaming down, but she managed to put a small smile on her face as she called softly, thumb gently grazing Sooyoung’s back hand “..Soo.. I miss you.. I miss us.. so, so much…”

“..don’t you miss me?” with no reply come, Yoona wiped her tears with the back of her other hand, refusing to let their holding hands parted.. afraid if she does, that she wouldn’t have another chance to do so..

“..i miss sleeping with you..” Yoona whispered, her eyes lost in Sooyoung “..where I know you will hug me tightly, giving me that secure and comfort.. and how from that simple hug you get my heart pounding like crazy..” she chuckled softly “..where you whisper that sweet love words.. and get me to sleep with a kiss..”

“..i miss that feeling.. sleeping in your embrace.. and I miss that feeling when I go to sleep without doubt, without fear.. because I know you will always wake me up the next morning.. and I can always find you lying beside me.. giving me the best morning.. for my every morning..”

“..you know.. I miss your jokes.. your flirts.. all that sweet teasing words.. and your sweet naughty smiles.. your laughs after completely fooling me with your jokes.. that mischievous grins you give when you want me.. that giggles and naughty face of yours when we make loves…” Yoona whispered softly, memories that brings more tears “..Sooyoung.. I miss everything about you..”

“…you’re that only person who can make me falling in love with you over and over again.. you’re that only person who can make my legs go weak, heart flutter, smiling like crazy.. and turn my worst day ever to the best day in my life with only a tight hug, or—or cuddling.. or kisses.. or a date..”

“..what have I done?” Yoona whispered brokenly “..how could I let you going through this?”

“..what have gotten into me when I decided to leave you? Sooyoung.. how could I do that?” Yoona whispered wearily “..how could I give up all that things… all our memories.. you..”

“..baby.. after all I caused you, I know that I have no right to ask you this.. but can we--..” Yoona mumbled brokenly “..i hope you can forgive me..” she bit her lower lip when she mumbled “..and—and.. maybe we can start all over again..”

Yoona moves her hand from Sooyoung’s hand to the brunette’s face, admiring the sleeping woman’s features, brushing over that long bangs, a small smile formed on her face “..i should have keep this up when I still own you, right?” she mumbled, hand gently running from Sooyoung’s temple, to eyebrows, nose, cheek, lips..

Yoona gives a soft chuckle “..i love you.. and I wish you know that.. I hope we can get back where we used to be..” she whispered, hand gently cupping Sooyoung’s left cheek, thumb grazing softly  “..because my forever only exist when I am with you.. and eternity only worth living for when you’re mine.. like I’m yours..”

Yoona wears a soft weak smile before she leaned closer to Sooyoung’s face, brushing her nose on Sooyoung, before pressing her lips gently on Sooyoung’s lips, staying there longer..

Yoona pulled with a small smile, staring on Sooyoung’s face lovingly, with longing “..wake up, baby.. please wake up…”

“..no matter how long it takes.. I won’t giving up on you… not anymore.. never…” Yoona spoke quietly “..and--..” her words stopped when Sooyoung’s hand on her tummy moves slightly.

“..soo?” and Sooyoung’s finger moves again, her head moves slightly, letting out a soft grunt.

Yoona widened her eyes in surprised, standing up swiftly to turn on the standing nurse in the corner of the room “nurse!! Call the doctor now!!! she is waking upp!!!” Yoona slightly yelled in tears “call the doctor now!!!”

“Ye-yes miss!” the nurse made her way out while Yoona watches Sooyoung with heavy breath, holding the tall brunette’s hand tightly.

“..Soo?!” Yoona called, one hand holding Sooyoung’s hand tightly, other gently caressing Sooyoung’s cheek “baby, do you hear me?”

It’s not even minutes when Taeyeon appeared from behind the door, followed by Jessica, hastily making her way inside to Sooyoung’s side. With Taeyeon’s presence, Yoona instantly pulled her hand and take a step back from the bed, standing beside her cousin, not too far from the bed, letting Taeyeon fill the space she stood before.

Maybe Taeyeon doesn’t really mind about Yoona’s presence at the moment, or just she doesn’t care by the way the petite woman doesn’t spat hurtful words or anger, or even cold and hatred glances.. all in her mind that Sooyoung finally wakes up.

“Soo?!” Taeyeon called, taking Sooyoung’s hand in hers, holding tightly, other hand caressing Sooyoung’s face.

“..ugh..” a soft grunt can be heard from the brunette, slowly open her eyes, shallow breathing slowly turn regular when her eyes finally open.

“Soo?” taeyeon called.

“..where.. am I?” the brunette asked, eyes shot right to the ceiling.

“Hospital.. you’re at my hospital, Soo..” Taeyeon replied “how are you feeling?” but no reply comes from Sooyoung. Instead, the latter seems confused, her eyes running scared, trying to familiarize her surrounding, but nothing comes into her mind, nothing. Her calm regular breathing in no time turned heavier and shallow.

“..Soo? soo?” Taeyeon called worriedly “look at me, please..”

Sooyoung starts to tremble, making that three figures looking at her worriedly. The nurse already gone, looking for Dr.Han as Taeyeon’s order before.

“Sooyoung? Soo?”

“..Tae..” Sooyoung spoke in between her heavy breath, fear written all over her face “..Tae.. I—.. I can’t see..”

Taeyeon’s eyes widened by Sooyoung’s remark while the latter still tremble in fear. Yoona’s heart dropped, falling and scattered into pieces, already crying, burying her face on both palms, with Jessica tries to calm her cousin.

Taeyeon cried, holding Sooyoung’s hand tightly “..Soo--..”

“I can’t see.. I can’t see, Taee!!!” Sooyoung yelled hysterically, trying to sit on the bed.

“Soo, please calm down..” Taeyeon pleaded, trying to push Sooyoung back to her bed.

“Wha-what happened to me?!” Sooyoung yelled in fear, breath heaved every second “why I can’t move my hand?! Why I can’t see?!!”

“You’ll be okay, Soo.. you’ll be okay..” Taeyeon repeated over and over again “your arm broke in that accident.. but it will be okay.. please calm down…please..”

Two figures swiftly made their way inside the ward, Dr.Han quickly walked to Sooyoung’s side, across where Taeyeon is standing up, while the nurse opened the drawer beside the bed, trying to find the sedative.

“It—it’s too dark!! Get—get me out from here!!” Sooyoung yelled, freaking out, using the little strength left to sit on the bed. Feeling her right hand numb, she pulled her left hand from Taeyeon’s and starts pulling all tubes that attached on her arms forcibly, trying to get out from the bed.

Yoona’s feet glued on her spots, not even daring to take a step. All inside her mind is that she is the one causing all that pain Sooyoung is feeling right now. She stood there frozen.

“Soo, please..” Taeyeon pleaded, trying hard to coaxing the tall brunette.

“Get me out from here!!!” Sooyoung struggled “get me out from here!!!” she yelled over and over again.

Taeyeon is trying hard to keep the tall woman calm, her eyes spotted red stain on Sooyoung’s hospital shirt. The wounds opened. It’s hurt, but maybe that numbness start to flow all over her body.

“Soo, please calm down! Your wounds are bleeding!” and between their struggle, Sooyoung’s fell from the bed, fall sitting on the floor by Taeyeon’s side, swiftly curled up in a ball, with her face buried on her knees, left arm wrapped her legs tightly, trembled in fear, face drenched in tears.

Taeyeon swiftly crouched down to Sooyoung, wrapping the tall brunette into a tight hug “..shh.. I’m here.. I’m here..”

“..i’m scared, Tae..” Sooyoung whispered in between her tears “..I’m scared..”

“I won’t leave you, Soo..” Taeyeon whispered right on the brunette’s ear “I promise..” she said, placing a soft kiss on Sooyoung’s hairs “everything will be okay.. I promise.. I promise..” and she chanted it over and over again…

And they are all lost…

Taeyeon lost in guilt for not able to prevent the accident, drown in responsibility of what happen to her sister..

Jessica lost in between Taeyeon’s hatred towards her cousin, in blame of what happen to Sooyoung, trapped in between her love and her cousin, knowing that anytime she might lose of what never crossed her mind before..

Yoona lost in pain by the sight of the girl she is madly in love with crying and trembling in fear and agony, guilt over her broken promises.. and causing more pain for the woman she loves, just so much..

And Sooyoung.. to find herself lost in the dark.. and fear of the loss of her surrounding.. suffering by the vanishing familiarity of the world, unreadiness to live in the day, and the fear of not knowing what would happen for her tomorrow..

What worst…

They’re all trapped in their own fear, and to face it alone.. already broken, slowly dying without knowing.. to where even time can’t decided of how to find them back… to when everything is supposed to be fine..