“..Jessica… let’s break up..”

“No..no..” Jessica mumbled in tears. She is already in pain, and with that words slipped from her girlfriend’s lips worsen it.

“..you know this is going to happen..”

“No, Tae! No I don’t!!” Jessica cried.

“This is hurting us.. me.. you..”

“No! it hurts more if you end us..” Jessica whispered brokenly, walking to Taeyeon’s side.

“..Jessica-..”

“No, please..” Jessica wrapped her arms around Taeyeon’s waist tightly, buried her face on Taeyeon’s shoulder “don’t do this, please.. don’t do this to me..”

“..you make me choose Jessica..” Taeyeon whispered brokenly, her face saddened, sure she is hurting so much just as much as Jessica does “..you make me choose between you and my sister..”

“..Tae..”

“..and you know, if it involves my sister..” Taeyeon added “..it’s no longer an option..”

“..please.. we can work this out.. we can find a way..” Jessica teared.

“..Sica.. the day Sooyoung lost her parents, I promised to myself..” Taeyeon mumbled “..i promised never left her alone.. I promised.. for whatever may happen.. she can always run to me.. she can always find me..” Taeyeon spoke, her coldness gone by the fallen tears “..i promised I will be there for her.. always..”

“Tae-..”

“But, this is hard..” Taeyeon cut “it’s hard because I know Yoona is your cousin..”

“Tae, please..”

“It’s hard to stand in my place.. because I don’t want your cousin near Sooyoung anymore.. I don’t want Yoona hurting Sooyoung anymore..”

“Tae-..”

“And all that hatred towards your cousin, left me nothing but guilt and hatred towards myself for letting this happened since the beginning..”

“No, don’t say that.. please…”

“..i know it’s unfair to blame it at Yoona..” Taeyeon spoke silently “..Sooyoung talked to me days ago.. and she said that it’s clearly her fault.. and don’t blame Yoona instead..” she mumbled with fallen tears “..that’s the reason why I let your cousin steps inside the room..”

“..because I wish.. even with that tiny hope.. maybe Sooyoung will get better.. maybe she will get passed this.. maybe.. Jessica.. maybe if it’s Yoona.. Sooyoung can still fall and lean on your cousin..” Taeyeon said.

“..trust me..” Taeyeon added “..Jessica.. you have no idea how much I hate Yoona right now..” she said quietly “..how I wish that I didn’t let her come instead in my party four years ago…”

“..how I wish.. that I still stubbornly against their relationship.. how I wish.. this is not happening at all..”

“..Tae.. Sooyoung will get better.. she will be okay..” Jessica whispered “.. she only needs time.. and Yoona.. and Yoona won’t left her.. she won’t.. not this time..”

Taeyeon gave a bitter chuckle, pulling from the hug “this time?”

“Tae-..”

“Can you accept that words when you’re in my place instead?”

“Tae-..”

“Can you take that words when your sister.. or your family there instead.. in Sooyoung’s place?”

“I know it-..”

“You don’t..” Taeyeon cut “you don’t know how it feels.. you have no idea how much it hurts..” Taeyeon spoke “watching your sister hurting.. hating herself.. or pulling herself from anyone..” she said silently “..Jessica.. you have no idea..”

“Please Tae.. let me go through this with you.. let-..”

“Yoona had her chance..” Taeyeon cut “but she thrown it for whatever reason she had..” Taeyeon gritted her teeth “I don’t care.” She said coldly.

“She loves Sooyoung.. she is, Tae.. she-..”

“That’s why I will tell you whis..” Taeyeon cut “..Jessica.. I don’t care if your cousin won’t give it up or whatever..” she said, eyes darted on Jessica’s firmly “but I don’t want to see her anymore.. I don’t want her being with Sooyoung anymore..”

“Tae, please-..”

“And so, to make this easier.. let’s end us..”

“No, no.. no.. Tae..”

“This way.. for whatever I do.. and for whatever I want to do.. to give Sooyoung back her life..” Taeyeon said “..this way.. I don’t have to consider about our relationship anymore.. about us.. about you..”

“..no.. don’t..” Jessica cried, drenched in tears “you are angry.. and mad.. and this is not the right time to take this decision..” Jessica begged “think over it again, Tae.. let’s talk when you’re calming down..” she added “I will wait.. no matter how long it takes.. Tae.. please..”

“It’s my finally decision.. nothing can chance my mind anymore..” Taeyeon said “..Jessica, we’re over..”

-----

Sooyoung is sitting in the hospital’s garden, a loud cheers can be hear from quite a number of kids who are playing there happily, a small playground in the garden, and some of the patients who are having their walk, refreshing their mind, just like what Sooyoung is doing.

Sooyoung is sitting on the long bench, a nurse assists her, the same nurse who is already assisting her since she woke up, the one who Taeyeon told to take care of her sister.

As Sooyoung is sitting quietly, her eyes darted to the front, but she obviously has her gaze locked nowhere. The only things she can do is enjoying the warm breeze and listening to the joyful cheers by the kids.

It hasn’t been that long since she sits there, upon listened to her scream at the room earlier, nurse Eunjung suggested her patient to take a walk or enjoying the calm weather than to stay inside the room and letting the brunette’s thought went nowhere.

Sooyoung closed her eyes as she knows, no matter its opened or closed, she still sees nothing. And it does feel like eternity, like she can feel time passed by so quickly.

It’s when Sooyoung feels another presence sits near her, she swiftly stood up. Really, she just doesn’t need to see who followed her to this place.

“Sooyoung, please..” Yoona quickly grabbed Sooyoung’s hand, pleading to make the tall woman talks to her.

Sooyoung escaped a soft sigh when she finally sits, saying nothing as she pulls her hand from Yoona’s grip, making Yoona’s heart down in disappointment.

“..i know thousands sorry won’t be enough..” Yoona bit her lower lip as her gaze fixed in Sooyoung’s side façade “but, Soo.. I’m really sorry..”

“..It’s not your fault..” Sooyoung finally spoke “..as much as I want to blame someone for this..” she whispered quietly “..i know it’s all mine..”

“..i drove the car.. I hit it by purpose..” Sooyoung mumbled “..i just failed to get what I want..” she paused “..things would be better if it go by what I-..”

“No..” Yoona cut, hand reached Sooyoung’s again, only to get another rejection from the latter “you don’t know how much it kills me when I heard about your accident-..”

“It’s not an accident..”

“Sooyoung..” Yoona called swiftly, refusing to listen more about it “I am glad I still can see you..” she said “..I am glad you’re still here..”

“..soo..” Yoona called when Sooyoung says nothing.

“..you should go home now, Yoona..” Sooyoung said “..your parents must not like it if-..”

“I moved out..” Yoona cut “back to Jessica’s house..” she said “and this time, I won’t come back there.. not before you forgive me.. not without you..”

“You don’t need my forgiveness..” Sooyoung said “It never been your fault..”

“..then..” Yoona spoke quietly “..can you.. can you give me a chance Soo? To fix things bet-..”

“No..” Sooyoung cut “you can fix nothing.. nothing when there is no something to fix..”

“There is.. how about us?”

“You made it clear to me when you ended us..” Sooyoung stood up “that there will be no us anymore..”

“No, please..” Yoona pleaded, already standing up, gripping on Sooyoung’s hand tightly “I know it’s my fault about it.. and I regret it.. Sooyoung, I never regretted things this much..”

“It changed nothing..”

“Sooyoung, give me a chance.. please..” Yoona whispered softly, her other arm already circled around Sooyoung’s waist, the other refused to let Sooyoung’s hand go. Yoona can feel her heart pounded hard, she misses this.. she misses this so much.. and no matter how long she stays with the brunette, Sooyoung is still the only person who can make her feel falling like the first time.. it’s still Sooyoung, and always be her..

“..give me a chance.. I promised this time.. I will make it right.. that I will never lea-..”

“No, don’t..” Sooyoung cut, pulling out from Yoona’s embrace.. as much as her body melted into that warm embrace.. and as much as her heart longing for that warm hug.. she is afraid.. afraid because this is not her first time hearing all that promises.. and she knows exactly how it ended..

“Sooyoung, please..” Yoona’s tears fall “let me stay by your side, taking care of you.. and go through this together..” she whispered brokenly “..i need you..” she said “..so much more than you ever thought..”

“..you said our relationship was a mistake..” Sooyoung’s eyes teared as she remember Yoona’s words back then, gritted her teeth hard to prevent it from falling, but the memory itself already broke her tears from her defenses, that it’s falling… endlessly..

“I was wrong!” Yoona swiftly cut, hand reached Sooyoung’s cheek, wiping the tears with her thumbs, while she herself still drenched in her tears “I was so—so stupid!! I—I though that leaving it li-like that will hurt less!” Yoona cried “..Soo.. please..”

“I can’t do this..” Sooyoung whispered in tears “having you left me once enough to make me kill myself, Yoona..” she mumbled brokenly “..if you ever leave me again… Yoona.. I am too scared to even think what can I do for not fail that..”

“Don’t say that..” Yoona turned Sooyoung to face her, even if she is sure that Sooyoung won’t be able to see her sadness and pain.. she is sure Sooyoung can feel it..

“I’m sorry for hurting you..” Yoona spoke quietly, pressing her lips on Sooyoung’s cheek “..i’m sorry for breaking that promises I made..”

“…but I love you.. I love you so much, Soo.. I really do..”

“..and just like how you said..” Sooyoung spoke while reaching for Yoona’s hand on her face to pull it down “..sometimes.. love is not enough..”

And with that, Sooyoung stepped back, hands reaching blindly for her nurse’s assist. And two of them are stepping out from the garden, leaving Yoona fall down back to the bench with her shattered heard, and breaking every time she saw Sooyoung walked further.. further from her..

“..miss Sooyoung.. are you okay?” Eunjung asked worriedly. Seeing the person she should taken care of sitting outside the room, drenched in tears is obviously the last thing Eunjung want Dr.Kim to see. No, she clearly doesn’t want to get into any trouble with the overprotective doctor.. and speaking about her sister.. it’s just..

“Miss?”

“..i am okay, Eunjung..” Sooyoung said as she stood up from the floor just in front of her room “..you can leave me now..”

“But-..”

“I won’t go anywhere..” Sooyoung cut “I will only take a rest..” she added, wiping her tears before giving the worried nurse a small smile “thank you for your assisting..”

“Ah, it’s a part of my job, Miss Sooyoung..” she said “and I don’t mind staying with you still..” she said “that’s what I supposed to do according to-..”

“I will be okay..” Sooyoung cut “and I just need some time alone, Eunjung..”

The nurse stared at Sooyoung doubtfully, before she finally escaped a soft sigh.

“Then.. if you need something.. please call me..”

Sooyoung smiled, nodding lightly “sure..”

As Sooyoung feel the nurse released her grip from her hand, Sooyoung opened her door room and walked inside.

“Hey..” a soft voiced greeted.

Sooyoung was taken aback “ah, did I get into the wrong room?” Sooyoung asked politely “..the nurse must have got me into the wrong-..”

“No, this is your room, Miss Sooyoung..”

“Ah, really? And can I know why you’re here?” Sooyoung asked.

“Ah, I finally can meet you this close..” the woman said, escaping a soft giggle as she stepped closer to Sooyoung “nice to meet you.. miss Sooyoung..” the woman politely greeted, reaching Sooyoung’s right hand with both her hands “..i’m your psychiatrist I supposed your sister already told you..” the woman smiled warmly as she eyed Sooyoung’s calm expression “I’m Dr.Hwang.. my name is Tiffany.. Tiffany Hwang..”