Sooyoung is staring at her work in satisfaction.  A little preparation she calls for her proposal, a romantic dinner with candlelight, wine, and handmade dinner in their balcony. It’s perfect.

But nothing is more perfect than the two of them, together. That’s what enough to keep that smile on Sooyoung’s face, and it hasn’t been disappear even by second.

It’s her night, their night. And Sooyoung wants to make it special. As special as the way Yoona makes her feel.

And she wants Yoona to feel the same. That the latter is indeed special in every way she could be. That only by being herself, effortless, Yoona is special in the most way she could be for her, for Sooyoung.

Sooyoung walked to their bedroom, checking her appearance for the last time. She is beautiful as ever, but her tight short red dress makes her even more attractive, appealing, hot, y, and just so damn gorgeous .

But than again, she always is.

But she wants to make the night memorable, and she is being prepared. To get a yes, and maybe it’s nothing harm to being positive.

They’re happy.

And as their promise, they’re going with forever. In this is just a step closer for that.. forever..

Walking to the buffet near her bed, Sooyoung opened the first drawer.

And there it is, still in the box, a ring to tie her love, to mark their special night, as a step to forever.

Sooyoung hold the right tight, with widened smile. She can’t wait, she really can’t wait to tie her love and going to forever, together.

“..she will love this, right?” Sooyoung mumbled to herself, cannot faded her smile that much “..yeah, she will..” she giggled softly “..i can just change the ring if she doesn’t like this one..”

The door opened, and Sooyoung can hear it thought the door from her bedroom that she hurriedly out from the bedroom, going out to the balcony, hiding her ring inside a handbag and put the handbag on one of the chairs, before hurriedly going to the living room.

“..hey babe..” Sooyoung called sweetly, sitting right beside her girlfriend on the couch, holding the latter hand. Yoona does seem tired.

“..what’s with the dress?” Yoona smiled back, giving a kiss before.

“I prepared dinner..” Sooyoung grinned.

“..and.. what’s the occasion?” Yoona’s smile seems to fade before she gave another weak smile.

“Special dinner for my special woman..” Sooyoung said still with the same smile before it faded by Yoona’s weak smile “..are you tired? Do you want to take a rest instead?”

“It’s okay..” Yoona chuckled softly, giving another kiss “I would like to have this special dinner from my special woman too..” she said “..but do I need to chance into something more fancy?”

“No need! Babe, you look beautiful in anything!” Sooyoung grinned cheekily “I don’t even mind if you have your bed hairs, messy clothes, and just—seriously! Don’t get me there!” she laughed with a naughty grin “not yet..”

Yoona giggled along, giving a light slap on Sooyoung’s chest “..just get this done please, I can’t wait to get into the best part..”

“..oh, trust me.. me too..” Sooyoung giggled “..love, this way please..” she said, standing up from the couch, bowing slightly that gets Yoona giggled before she held her hand tight. Just so tight.

Sooyoung is walking while holding her girlfriend tightly, leading to the balcony where she prepared their dinner, their special dinner.

With a sweet naughty smile she has, pulling a chair for Yoona to sit as she said “..love, take a seat please..”

Yoona giggled, saying nothing when she sits.

They have dinner, and a chat in between, obviously with sweet flirty talks, naughty glances, and just really some jokes along.

But Yoona talked less tonight. She seems to enjoy more in watching her girlfriend talking, flirting, and all of that long.

Never once, not a second Yoona breaks her gaze from Sooyoung. Never once she stopped staring at that sweet girlfriend of hers. Never once.

She is scared, terribly scared, because this is not going to last. Because whatever she has inside her mind, will broke them both, and she can wait.

And because she doesn’t even have the heart to stop her girlfriend from enjoying their night, she can wait.. wait sometime.. sometime like tomorrow..

The dinner turned out better.

And Sooyoung has enough to get them into the mood. A happy one. Maybe for something she is preparing, and more after that.

It was when Sooyoung reached her hand out, taking Yoona’s in hers, holding tight “..Yoona, I love you..” Sooyoung spoke with a smile in her face.

Yoona mirrored the smile when she whispered “I love you too..” and she is holding Sooyoung’s hand as tight.

“..i know..” Sooyoung grinned cheekily.

Yoona shook her head still with the smile, but letting Sooyoung talk anyway.

“And I know that these past few months has been so hard on us..” Sooyoung said “which is why, it’s better if we take a little rest from all of that.. and enjoying ourselves instead..”

“I always enjoy myself when we’re together..”

“Never been disagreed with that babe…” Sooyoung grinned.

“Thank you..” Yoona smiled “this is sweet.. you are..”

“..and, so does that..” Sooyoung playfully added, earning another laugh from her girlfriend.

“..you’re the best I could ask for..”

“And you’re one that keep my heart beating..”

“That’s cheesy..” Yoona giggled.

“But I am being honest..” Sooyoung smiled softly “trust me.. when you left, I can die..”

“Don’t say that..” Yoona swiftly replied “you can’t do that..”

“Then, don’t stay away from me..”

Yoona gave a soft smile, but she said nothing.

Sooyoung is looking into Yoona’s eyes deeply with passion, care, and love.. and Yoona knows, that she would never have less of love there, she would never did.

That in any day of her future, she won’t have less of love from this woman..

That Sooyoung can always give her more than enough, more for her, more to keep this relationship working, and more every day to keep her alive..

“You’re a gift..” Sooyoung spoke “..a gift I would never rejected..”

“You’re one that never stopped running inside my mind, messing with my heart, and one that I couldn’t stop thinking about..”

“You’re the only one who crossed my mind for every seconds in my life, and never really left..”

“You’re one and the only one who I want to wake up every mornings for, and going to bed every nights..”

“You’re the only person who I want to give up anything for.. if you ask me to.. Yoona.. I will give up everything I have, just to stay with you..”

“Sooyoung..” Yoona called softly, her eyes glistening with tears.

“..Yoona, you’re one who keeps me alive.. you keep me breathing, you give me reason.. you’re in every reason I has when I was about to give up.. the once who never failed to lightened my day, and never failed to heal my pain..”

“Yoona, you’re my everything..”

“..I love you, Yoona.. in every way I could.. in every breath I take.. and in every second of my live..” Sooyoung whispered softly, giving a sweet soft smile “..i am yours.. and always been yours..”

Yoona has a bad feeling about this. No, she can see where this is going. And it’s not good, not now.

“..and here I am.. wishing that you’re ready to do the same..” Sooyoung smiled when she quietly taking the box with her free hand from the handbag on her lap “..Yoona, I want you.. and I want forever..” she said, lifting the opened box with a diamond ring in it.

“..love.. will you marry me?”

And Yoona’s tears falls. She is crying.

And instead of answering, Yoona pulled her hand from Sooyoung’s, faded Sooyoung’s smile.

“..Sooyoung.. I’m.. really sorry..”

“..why?” Sooyoung spoke quietly, closing the box “..are you not ready? I can wait..” she said softly “..it’s okay.. I can always--..”

“I can’t marry you..” Yoona cut, tears keep falling from her eyes.

It hurts Sooyoung to see the person she loves crying in front of her “..hey love..” Sooyoung said softly “..it’s okay.. I can understand.. not now, right? I will wait no matter how long it is.. don’t worry.. love, please don’t cry..”

“..no Sooyoung.. it’s-..” Yoona stared at Sooyoung’s loving eyes. She knows that she is going to break her. she knows. It’s right when she said “..Sooyoung, let’s just break up..”

Sooyoung is totally surprised. She is really surprised that it left her speechless.

No, this is not what she expected to happen.

“..why?” Sooyoung whispered brokenly “..aren’t we okay? We’ve been great..” she said “..did I do something wrong? Did I do something you don’t like? Did i--..”

“No, Soo.. it’s not you..” Yoona cut.

“..is it because I proposed?”

“..no, Soo..”

“Then, why Yoona?” Sooyoung stood up, walking closer to the crying woman, squatted just beside her girlfriend.

“..i’m going to move out, tonight..” Yoona added quietly in between her tears.

“No! why? please, tell me.. if it’s me.. I will fix it.. I can change… i--..”

“Soo.. please..”

“Babe, you can’t leave me like this..” Sooyoung whispered softly, she is crying. And it broke Yoona more than she thought.

“..let’s end us here..”

“Babe--..”

“That starting from now..” Yoona whispered in between her sobs “..there will be no us anymore..”

“Yoona, please..” Sooyoung asked desperately “…tell me what’s wrong, babe.. we will go thought this together..”

“..I am getting married, Soo…”

And it kills Sooyoung..

“..why? don’t you love me anymore? Don’t you--..”

“This is a mistake.. we shouldn’t started this..” and Yoona thought saying that will spare them some pain.. but she was wrong.. because it hurts them even more..

“No, please don’t say that..” Sooyoung pleaded “..stay with me.. we will work things out..” she said “just don’t leave me, please.. please..”

And it hurt Yoona even more when Sooyoung is pleading her to stay..

Yoona stood up from the chair “..i will ask someone to come by tomorrow to get my things..”

“Yoona, please..” but Sooyoung hugs her from behind, tightly than ever “..tell me if it’s my fault, so that I will change.. I will fix myself.. I will--..”

“..this is hard for me, Sooyoung.. and you’re making it harder..”

“Then don’t do this..” Sooyoung spoke brokenly. And she cried even harder. But it never enough to get Yoona to stay. it never was.

“..Sooyoung, we’re over..”

“Yoona.. please.. I beg you..”

But Yoona didn’t listen. But that word enough to get Yoona’s heart shattered in pieces. This is just the first time she sees Sooyoung that broken and hurt. That Sooyoung is even begging her to stay.

They’re drenched in tears.

They both are..

“..sorry..” Yoona whispered while breaking from the hug, the last hug she thought will be hers “..i’m sorry, Soo.. I’m sorry..” she mumbled before she walked out from the balcony, from the apartment, from the place.

Sooyoung stared at Yoona’s back in despair. Never once she felt this broken, never once she felt this helpless.

She is in agony, that she lost her sense.

She was lost.

Sooyoung turned the table she prepared upside down, getting the glasses table, glasses, plates, and all on the table fall on the floor, shattered.

And like it’s not enough, she messed everything.

Sooyoung fell sit on the floor where the shattered glasses were. She has cuts here and there, her wounds are bleeding. but she feels nothing. Because she is already done. Because she is already in pain, and she can feel nothing anymore. She feels numb. She feels nothing.

She is crying.. and tears never stopped..

And it hurts.. and if she once got a broken heart and it hurt her straight to the heart..

This time.. it hurts till it kills her.. that every little bit of her hurt till it left no place where she can’t feel pain.. that every part of her is hurting like crazy..

And that night.. she lost a reason to live..

And after the night.. that’s exactly the only thing Yoona left on her..

Because the moment Yoona left their home.. she already lost everything..

No reason to live..

That she feels like dying..

And she is..