“..Sooyoung, are you sure that you’re ready to go home?” Taeyeon asked for God knows already how many times, staring at the tall brunette who is sitting in the living room in her own apartment.

Taeyeon is standing in front of her sister with both hands on her waist “you know… we can go back there in you want too..”

Sooyoung gave a soft chuckle “Tae, I told you I do..”

“Then.. how about living with me? in my house?” Taeyeon asked hopefully, again, for God knows already how many times.

Sooyoung gave another chuckle, her eyes lost in nowhere, but trying to fix where the worried and familiar voice is from she said “you said Jessica is going to move in with you soon” a teasing mischievous smile appeared on her face “..i don’t want to hear—you know..”

Taeyeon blushed. These past few days where Jessica and her are back together is heaven.

The blonde hasn’t actually moved in with her, Jessica is still worried over her cousin, so she asked Taeyeon to give her sometime, and Taeyeon doesn’t mind waiting.

But by the image of whatever they were doing in these past few days, when Jessica slept over for a night or two are running all over her mind, doing nothing but redden her face which go unseen by the tall woman.

And since they are working together, in the same hospital, meeting in between work for their little time doesn’t seem that hard, especially when they’re burning in love.

“..hmm.. yo-you said you don’t mind about--..”

“Tae, of course I don’t..” Sooyoung cut “we’ve talked about it.. and I am beyond happy that you get back together with Jessica..” she said sincerely “so, so happy…” she added with a sweet smile “you won’t find someone better than her.. I assured you..”

And Sooyoung is progressing well. And for whatever reasons it is, Taeyeon doesn’t really care, as long as Sooyoung is getting better, every reasons should be okay.

These past week, Sooyoung is getting better psychologically. Sooyoung will smile more, teasing about her relationship with Jessica, and doesn’t mind about involving in a deep long conversation.

Taeyeon is happy by that, so much happy to get the two persons she loves back in her embrace.

“I am assured..” Taeyeon replied “and I am beyond happy too..” Taeyeon said, sitting on the couch by her sister side, both hands on Sooyoung’s cheek as she whispered “and I will be less worried, and more happy if you move in with us..”

Sooyoung giggled softly “you should adopt a baby girl instead of me..”

“You’re my baby.. my baby sister..”

“You are sweet..” Sooyoung escaped another giggles, holding Taeyeon’s hands and give light squeeze and bring them to her lap “no wonder Jessica is madly in love with you..”

“That’s why..” Taeyeon insisted “please, move in?” Taeyeon asked in a soft pleading whispered.

“I don’t think I will be able to sleep..” Sooyoung spoke, hinting another teasing with that naughty smile of hers “you know.. with all that noises..”

Taeyeon’s face flushed, but mumbling “you can take whatever bedroom you want, even downstairs..”

“I am not talking about bedroom only..”

“..umm.. we—we might can work on it..”

Taeyeon’s stuttering making Sooyoung bursting in laughter “you do realized that you didn’t deny any of my words, right?” Sooyoung spoke “and hinting about making love everywhere..”

“Ya-yah!! I—I am trying to—to make all of us li-living together peacefully!!”

And Sooyoung can only imagine how cute and adorable her sister’s face must be “seriously.. what should I do with you, Tae..”

“Sooyoung--..”

“And you know that you don’t need to do that..” Sooyoung cut her sister’s whine.

“But I want too.” Taeyeon replied immediately “I need you close to me..” she said “you know how worry I could get if something happen to you..”

“Nothing will..” Sooyoung said “I assured you..”

“I am still worried..”

“And it’s not fair..” Sooyoung said.

Taeyeon’s brows furrowed “I will be fair about treating you and--..”

“That I will need you more than you need me..” Sooyoung cut “and it’s not fair for Sica..”

But there is this faint line Sooyoung is drawing. The line which tells ‘I will do it myself’ and other that follow ‘stop worried over me, just because I ruined my life, doesn’t mean I want to ruin yours’..

Taeyeon knows, but she has no idea about how to tell her sister that even with move in with them, she will ruin nothing. Taeyeon even talked to Jessica, and the blonde obviously doesn’t mind. Jessica is that kind and understanding, even offering to take turn in helping Sooyoung to get used about her new condition.

But by the way Sooyoung rejected Taeyeon’s offer to live with her countless time, the petite woman realized that her sister is in this moment of creating a barrier where it would took time, that none of them know to bring it down.

“Sica will understand it..”

“I know she will..” Sooyoung said “that’s what makes it unfair..” Sooyoung gave a small smile “Jessica is a good person..” she spoke “by asking her to move in with you, you do know that being your girlfriend is not the last thing she would expect on how relationship sailed, right?”

“Soo-..”

“And I believe Jessica is more than ready for that..” Sooyoung smiled softly “you need to think about it, Tae..” she added “I don’t want you to keep going in a circle just because you’re afraid of hurting me..”

“You do know that Jessica deserve more than what she had..”

“Yeah..”

“And we both know that she loves you so much despite all the things you did..” Sooyoung spoke “you hurt her once because of me..”

“It’s not because of you Soo..”

“What happened on me in the past has nothing to do with you right now..” Sooyoung continued “I am a grown up woman..” she said, giving a childish grin, a forced one Taeyeon suggested “I can handle heartbreak.. and my life will keep going on..”

“..I know..” Taeyeon spoke “…I just want to make sure that someone is there to scold me when I messed up my relationship with Sica..” she reasoned, as stubborn as her sister does.

“Oh, trust me.. I will stand in Sica’s side unconditionally to put some sense inside your mind..”

Taeyeon escaped soft chuckle “you should..”

“And I can do it from here..” Sooyoung said “trust me this time..”

 “But—but-..”

“I will call you regularly..”

“Everyday?”

Sooyoung giggled “if you’re not busy, sure..”

“I won’t be busy..”

“Okay, okay..” Sooyoung said in between her giggles. Oh her sister can be hell cute with that worried and anxiousness about her.

“And I will visit you once a week.. Or-or twice, thrice--..."

Sooyoung giggled "sure.. Sure.. Feel free to come.."

“Okay..”

“And if you need anything, just call me right away, you do know that I put my name in your speed dial for number 1, right?”

“Yes, you already told me..”

Taeyeon sighed, finally giving in “..then.. what are you going to do?”

Sooyoung can’t even see, now Taeyeon can’t imagine how the tall brunette will spent her day without doing what she loves.

“Yes.. I am currently jobless..” Sooyoung spoke, trying to joke, but instead of laughing, Taeyeon frowned.

“..do you want me to do something?”

“I might need something to do to keep me occupied..” Sooyoung said “maybe something like audio books will be okay for now?” Sooyoung asked hesitantly “do you mind looking out some for me?”

“Sure, I will..” Taeyeon said “I will buy you some other books too and ask if your nurse can read them for you..”

“Hmm.. okay..” Sooyoung nodded lightly.

“And if you need anything else, just give me a call right away, okay? I will always put my phone in ringing tone..”

Sooyoung’s smile softened “..Tae.. I can’t thanks God enough for giving me a sister like you..”

“You have no idea how lucky I am to have you as my sister..”

Sooyoung chuckled “now, now, I bet your girlfriend miss you..” she said “and you need a job to do, aren’t you?”

“Are you kicking me out?” Taeyeon frowned with a childish pout.

“I wish I could..” Sooyoung giggled.

“Yahh! How could you say that!”

“Really, Tae..” Sooyoung chuckled.

It was a moment of silent when their laughter lightened to a quiet calm surrounding.

“..and Soo..” Taeyeon called softly, her tone sounded serious.

“Hmm?”

“..if.. if.. I can arrange an operation.. will you do it?”

Sooyoung said nothing. She went silent. She has been asking herself the same question. If she has a chance to see a light back, will she takes it?

“..i am looking for a donor.. and I am sure that I get it already..” Taeyeon spoke “you can think about it.. and just tell me whenever you’re ready, okay?” she added, not pushing her sister any more.

“..hmm..” Sooyoung hummed with a light nod, her mind definitely not there anymore.

“Then.. Fine..” Taeyeon mumbled, planting soft kiss in her sister’s temple “that might be your nurse..” she said by the doorbell’s ring “and Tiffany said she will come later at noon after her works done..” Taeyeon stood up.

“Okay..” Sooyoung nodded lightly “take care.. drive safely..”

“Yeah..”

Sooyoung heard the front door opened, while she is sitting on the couch in her apartment.

Her own apartment. A place she has been living for years.

But never once she felt so lonely before.

So lost, so sad, so odd, so different.

This is a place which supposed to make her feel safe, feel comfort, feel home..

But yet, now.. this place is nothing but something new for her, unfamiliar..

Nothing but mystery..

That simple thing make can’t help but wonder.. if by any chance.. is that somewhere.. something.. someone to give her all that feeling back?

Home?

And it’s either that she doesn’t have the answer, or she doesn’t want to admit..

And what would change exactly if she does the operation, and she can see a light back, a world..

Will something change? Will she hurt less? Will the messed up thing back to normal? Or even better?

Somehow, even within the two choices.. she is still lost as when she doesn’t have any..