“You ready for dessert?” Jonghyun asks with a smirk when the leftovers and dishes are being taken away from the table of the romantic Valentine’s date with Hannah.

She looks surprised at the question. “After eating all of that?”

The big table in the suite had been filled with all kinds of food, the couple enjoying a long dinner trying all of it and Jonghyun showing off his big appetite and now when they have gotten the cook to take it all away, the waiter rolls in a new tray filled with dessert.

“A dessert bar,” Jonghyun smiles widely, looking extremely impressed with him self when seeing the cakes, most of them made for Valentine’s. Hannah laughs when looking at the tray, it looks delicious, and she glances at the waiter who leaves the tray next to the table when Jonghyun tells him to leave it there.

“Give a call if there is anything else you need,” the waiter ends with a bow and leaves.

“Now, we’re all alone,” Jonghyun looks happy and gets up from his seat to reach the tray, grabbing two cocktails and hands one to Hannah over the table.

“They left?” Hannah asks, not knowing anything of what he is doing or what is planned.

“Yes. It’s private for dessert,” Jonghyun jokes and places a small plate of dessert between them, smiling at her. “It’s chocolate.”

She smiles when reaching for the dessert fork in his hand, taking a piece of the cake with him eyeing her and she puts it in . Jonghyun can’t stop smiling at her, reaching for two more dessert plates and a fork that he puts on the table, commenting that the three of them are his favourite before they both slowly starts eating. “It’s good,” Hannah nods in agreement when tasting the second one.

“It’s good, right?” Jonghyun looks satisfied at her. He keeps his eyes on her, smiling. “I love to see you eat…”

“If it wasn’t Valentine’s Day, I would be angry at you,” Hannah tells him, taking some more dessert on her fork.

“Why is that?” Jonghyun amusedly asks, resting his chin on his hand, blinking at her.

Hannah keeps eating, smiling at him because he knows the answer to his question. “You are too obvious.”

“About what?” he asks.

“About the food,” Hannah answers, making him chuckle when taking another bite of the cake dessert. “And it’s not the first time you take me out on a big meal when thinking I eat too little.”

“Then you should know exactly what I want to say,” Jonghyun smiles at her, but quietly takes some dessert without looking at her when Hannah gives him a glare. “I’m not going to start a fight, okay?”

“What more is it there?” Hannah asks and nods over at the tray, changing the subject. She puts the fork in , off the chocolate from it while seeing Jonghyun take out another cake from the tray, this one red of strawberries, but he doesn’t put it down between them. Instead he places the cake as close to him on the table as he can, putting his fork in the soft cake and takes it in his mouth.

“Yummy,” he tells her, his eyes both amused and piercing when he looks up at her under his bangs.

Hannah doesn’t even know her jaw drops at what he does, as she was prepared to take a bite of the cake as soon as he put it down. She gives out a frustrated sound, starting to lean over the table, moving the cakes in the middle aside to reach over to the strawberry one but Jonghyun is fast to put his fork in his mouth to pick up the cake and lean away with it. “Are you serious?” Hannah laughs.

Jonghyun pulls the fork out of his mouth, teasing. “If you want it…”

“I’m not coming to get it,” Hannah is fast to shake her head, laughing when getting up on her feet. She feels light in the knee-high socks. Jonghyun thinks she is coming to get it either way when she walks around the table, but Hannah just walks around behind him to reach the tray. His eyes travel down though, watching her legs and while she looks at what the tray has to offer. Hannah puts her fork in a small cake to taste it, giving a glance over her shoulder at the boyfriend checking her out. “If I’m not allowed to ask questions now, can I ask questions later?”

Jonghyun sighs when taking a bite of the strawberry cake. “What kind of questions do you have that are so important, Hannah?”

She turns around to stand with her back against the tray, not leaning against it because that would mean it rolls away, “Are you paying for all of this?” she asks and makes a hand motion to the room.

“Don’t ask about the costs, Hannah,” Jonghyun sighs and looks up at her. “I wanted to do something special this time; give you a lot to eat, give you a lot of luxury… It’s difficult to surprise a woman who can buy whatever she wants.”

“Then don’t surprise me,” Hannah shrugs her shoulder at him. “I’m fine with just you and me, anywhere. I don’t need luxury.”

“But maybe I do,” Jonghyun tells her. “I… I want to do things for you, Hannah, to show that I can give you things and surprise you, to see that face you got when we entered this hotel, when you saw all that food. I want to do this for us, it’s not about what you are satisfied with; it’s me proving to be the man for you. Why can’t you just drop the money-talk and let me take care of you for once?”

“You want to take care of me?” Hannah smiles when looking down at her toes curling together on the soft carpet, biting her lip at how seriously he has to take this. He has said a lot of things to her during the years, but maybe not just those words.

Jonghyun pushes the cakes on the table before reaching to the side to take a hold of the hem of her tunic with a finger, bringing Hannah closer to him so he can wrap his hand around her thigh. “What do you think marriage means?” he asks her, smiling as he connects it to her question. Hannah smiles down at him, her hand reaches down to the back of his neck, touching his hair lightly and she drops the fork on the floor to turn around to sit in his lap, facing Jonghyun and not really sitting with all of her weight. “Marriage means we take care of each other, we become family. You know that, don’t you?”

His hands are holding on to her hip, Hannah’s hands at touching the hair at his neck. She nods at his question, kissing him to not hear something she fears; a proposal. No way would he do that to her.

“Will you let me take care of you for tonight?” Jonghyun whispers against her lips.

“How, you want to feed me?” Hannah giggles, her hands slowly goes around his neck and up to his cheeks, softly kissing him.

Jonghyun bites on to her lip lightly. “That’s not a bad idea,” he chuckles, holding on to her with one hand when stretching out behind her back. Hannah laughs at him blindly looking for something on the table and she looks behind her to grab a fork and some strawberry cake, putting it in .

“Mm, yummy,” Hannah repeats what he said before, giggling when seeing him gaping at her.

“I’m supposed to do that,” Jonghyun tells her, seeing her lean back to get a refill on the fork. “Me, me, me, me, me-”

“Sssh,” Hannah quietly hushes him, facing him with the fork going towards his mouth and Jonghyun dreamy opens it. With a giggle she turns the fork around and quickly puts it in her own mouth, saying ‘mm’ once again.

Jonghyun suddenly stands up, if the table wasn’t behind her Hannah would have fallen to the floor, but he grabs the back of her head and kisses her strongly, pressing his tongue inside and Hannah starts wiggling in his grip when his tongue is tasting that cake she has in , laughing and ready for him to lean away to swallow. Jonghyun pushes her against him, sitting her on the table with her legs wrapped around him. He is not stopping to kiss her so Hannah lifts her head up, laughing to the ceiling when he trail kisses on her neck. He grabs a hold of her head, making her look at him, holding on to her tightly but not so it hurts.

“I’m going to marry you one day,” Jonghyun tells her, making Hannah giggle and bite her own lip at how y he is. “I will marry you and I will be with you; I will take care of you, Hannah, today and forever.”

“One day,” she whispers to him, smiling at the glint in his eyes.

“One day, yes,” Jonghyun repeats, caressing her hair. “One day… we will live together, and I will wake up next to you in the morning, go lie next to you at night… I will call you my wife…”

Hannah laughs, not knowing what else to do when he is so deep into his imagination like this, loving the look on his face when he watches her features. He sighs, his fingers touch her face and his own expression gets a little troubled, grimacing.

“Will you marry me?” he wonders, holding on to her tight and while Hannah’s insides starts panicking, he calmly says; “In the future … when both of us are ready… Will you marry me, Hannah Martens?”

Even if he talks about a few years in the future, the talk about marriage makes Hannah always nervous. Just his question, that famous question ‘will you marry me?’ is terrifying for her to hear. She tries to get out of it by kissing him, Jonghyun responses to the kiss and wraps his arms around her, the kiss deepens quickly. The problem with his question is that Hannah has no hesitation on that she could marry him in the future, but right now she is terrified that if she says ‘yes’, something horrible will happen – karma does that to her. If something good happens to her, something worse will follow. She is terrified that if she says something, she will regret it later. She doesn’t want it to happen.

She feels it when he starts to soften the kiss, and to not break it she reaches for his hand on her back and puts it on her thigh, taking it up under her tunic while kissing him. Jonghyun’s hand goes down her leg, caressing the soft sheer pantyhose she is wearing, his fingers almost digging in her skin, almost ripping the pantyhose apart. Hannah pulls in his clothes, their breathing are changing and Jonghyun moans when Hannah kisses his lip.

“Mom asked about us,” Jonghyun whispers, tilting his head to kiss her earlobe. “I said I want to marry you.”

“What?”

Hannah leans away, her hands on his shoulder; the surprise hits her reaction too hard as she stares at him in shock. It’s different with him telling her that he wants them to get married in the future, but to tell his mother? The one woman who isn’t very … fond, of Hannah, but very one Jonghyun loves the most. Jonghyun gets a little taken back at her reaction too.

“Why would you say that to your mother?” Hannah asks.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Jonghyun frowns, standing up straight. “It’s my mom, if any woman should know who I want to marry, it’s her.”

“And what did she say?” Hannah mutters, crossing her arms over her chest and Jonghyun sighs.

“Hannah…”

“She don’t like me, you know that.”

“It’s not that she don’t like you-”

“It’s because I’m not Korean,” Hannah finishes it for him, sighing at him. “Why would you do that? Why tell her you want to marry me in the future, why not wait until the future is here?”

“It’s my mother, that’s a pretty good reason,” Jonghyun keeps frowning. “I don’t get the big deal with it.”

“Then you’re the naïve one, Jonghyun,” Hannah sighs, “you can’t go around telling people that you want to marry me. Especially not the woman who gave birth to you! That’s insane.”

“Why is it insane to tell people something that I want? Who cares if it’s now or in the future; I want to marry you!”

“Stop saying that,” Hannah gets down from the table, pushes herself away from him. She turns around to look at him, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, Jonghyun.”

“Why can’t I say that?” Jonghyun asks. “I want to marry you, Hannah, you know that. Stop shaking your head at me! Why, you don’t want to get married?”

“I’m getting threats just being your girlfriend, Jonghyun, how the heck do you imagine me living my life with 5 Pieces if fans finds out you want to marry me?” Hannah asks him in a loud voice, closing her eyes when feeling her tear up. She is freaking out; she thinks she is having a panic attack.

“And you think I’m not threatened? Both of us have crazy fans, Hannah, that’s part of our jobs,” Jonghyun says.

“Jonghyun, this won’t work,” Hannah shakes her head at him. “We’re at two different pages. I can’t get married to you, your family won’t accept it.”

“What… What are y-” Jonghyun gets quiet when Hannah heads out of the room. “Hannah! Hannah!”

She grabs her shoes and jacket and runs out the suite, hurrying over to the elevator but hearing Jonghyun come out a little behind her she rushes to the stairs, running lightly in socks, her whole body and mind beating out of fear. She is faster than him, hearing him screaming after her but he doesn’t continue to run down the stairs when she keeps running. She knows he will easily come down before her with the elevator, and when almost coming downstairs she takes off inside a corridor of the floor and picks up her phone with a shaky hand. What is she doing?! She calls the first number she finds while her mind is just panicking, walking back and forth in the corridor while getting teary and she holds it all in when hearing a person pick up on the other line.

“I need someone to pick me up,” Hannah whispers when trying to gather a voice. She sobs, her hands shaking and tears starts rolling down her face. She tries to hold in her fingers, but she has no strength in the shaking to control it, just staring at her hand.

“What happened?”

“Please come,” Hannah cries out in a whisper, pressing the free hand to her chest.

“Where are you?”

Hannah tells which hotel it is before hanging up, and knowing someone is coming she just has to get out of here. What could Jonghyun be doing? Would he wait in the lobby for her? Would he wait in the garage, expecting her to try sneak out there? Will he be waiting outside the elevators or be by the stairs? How can she get out without having the fear of getting caught by him? Would he make a scene in public? She figures out meeting him in public is better, too many eyes for him to not do anything.

She waits until her ride is here, getting a text message and she takes a few breaths, calming her self with a panicked mind and wiping her tears; shoes and jacket on, and she hurries out. She walks down the final stairs, peeks out at the lobby (clear) and then walks with fast steps and head down, scanning the room without really looking up. No one stops her, no one calls her name. She notices the van outside and reaches it in a hurry, almost jogging the last part before opening the door.

Sitting behind the steering wheel is Manager Lee. He drives without a word, glancing at her and stays quiet. As soon as they have left, Hannah covers her face and starts crying. What has she done?

“Hannah…” Manager Lee whispers, being very careful when touching her arm to make her sit straight, “please put on your seatbelt…”

“As if that would make a difference,” she mutters angrily behind the tears, sobbing when putting the seatbelt on and moves her head not knowing what to do to stop shaking. “People drive without rules in Korea, Oppa, what difference does it really make if five out of thousand wear a seatbelt?”

He just nods, pretty sure she is not freaking out because of South Korea’s driving laws so he decides to not add any fuel to the fire. Whatever is going on, he is sure there are someone who can handle a lady when she is like this – another lady.

He drives her home, following her upstairs, making sure she actually get inside the elevator instead of just staring at it and opens the door for her to go inside. He is even ready to take her jacket in case she just throws it off, but Hannah walks straight inside, tearing up as soon as she is in the hall and when she enters the living-room she can barely see because of the tears. Maria and Julia are sitting in the living-room; Julia on the floor brushing Michin and Maria lazily sitting in the sofa, both looking up at the black jacket entering and just as they realise it is Hannah storming in, Hannah wraps her arms around Maria and starts crying loudly when trying to say something.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Maria calmly says, fast to sit up straight and hug her back, looking questioning at Manager Lee who stands by the door to the room. “Calm down, baby, I can’t hear a word you say…”

“What happened?” Julia quietly asks the manager, but he just shrugs her shoulders. That’s why Hannah had called him; he doesn’t ask questions.

Hannah crawls to sit on her knees in the sofa, lying down with her head behind Maria to hide herself. “He wants me to marry him,” she says, making sure to speak slowly for them to hear, starting to cry again.

“HE PROPOSED TO YOU?!” Maria shouts loudly and jumps up from the sofa, “What the , Hannah?!”

“I freaked out,” Hannah cries, wiping her tears with her hands, still hiding. “I can’t do that.”

“What’s the screaming about?” Emelia comes jumping inside the room, all cheerful until she hears the black ball in the sofa sobbing, and since she knows where Hannah has been it comes to one conclusion; “What did that do to you?”

“He proposed, you idiot,” Maria answers and sits down next to Hannah, a hand on her back. “Tell me, baby.”

Maria pulls in Hannah’s arm, but the youngest shakes her head and just stretches out on the sofa on her stomach, hiding her face and crying. Emelia walks up to the sofa, she kindly takes Maria aside to take the seat next to Hannah by lie next to her with an arm around her, hushing her.

“I don’t get it though,” Julia looks like a question-mark on the floor. “Jonghyun proposed? Why is she a mess then?”

“Marriage isn’t really a subject Hannah fancies,” Emelia says. Among all of them, Hannah didn’t expect Emelia to be the understanding one; she expected Maria. But Maria understands too, maybe not the grounds to it but she is always on Hannah’s side. Emelia keeps patting Hannah on the back, whispering to her.

Maria turns to their manager though, asking what he is doing here.

“She called me,” he answers, scratching his head, “I went to get her.”

“Thanks, Oppa,” Maria smiles, leading him out the living-room, “We’ll take care of it now.”

“Is it serious?” he whispers to Maria, not understanding anything.

“Hopefully not. We’ll take care of her. See you in the morning,” Maria says, stopping when the doorbell rings and she goes to check the monitor. “Oh . Boyfriend’s here!”

She peeks inside the living-room, repeating it to ask what to do and Hannah says she don’t want him to come inside, full in tears. Maria accepts that and walks with the manager to the hall, opening the door to see a freaked out Jonghyun there, and before he can try pushes his way inside, she puts a hand on his shoulder to push him out, going out with him.

“What the did you do, proposing to her? Are you out of your mind?” Maria attacks him right away.

“I didn’t propose to her!” Jonghyun’s voice is loud. He has gone through many stages going from the hotel to here, figuring out she would go home to the ladies. “I don’t have a clue of what happened! She freaked out and left all of a sudden-”

“Then why the heck is she talking about marriage?” Maria asks, turning around when the door opens and Manager Lee is there. Jonghyun’s eyes darken by the sight of him; Jonghyun saw Hannah get in the van, seeing who she had called to pick her up.

“I want to see her,” Jonghyun tells Maria, knowing the manager has no word here. “I want to see my girlfriend and talk this through with her, not with you, not with him – with her.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Manager Lee tells him, stepping up behind Maria.

“I’m not talking to you,” Jonghyun growls at the manager.

“Hey,” Maria says, pushing Manager Lee back when he steps forward, both men angry at each other. “Jonghyun, you’re not meeting her today. Forget about it. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“I need to know what’s going on, Maria. Hannah ran off on me, I got no idea of what happened,” Jonghyun whispers to the leader, looking like he is going to break apart at this moment.

“I’m sorry,” Maria sighs, grabbing his arm to let him know she is sorry. “Not tonight.”

Frustrated, Jonghyun bites together and turns away. He takes his hand through his hair when turning back to Maria, meeting her eyes again. “Tomorrow morning, before you leave for practice-”

“I can’t promise anything,” Maria shakes her head.

“I’ll be here,” Jonghyun finishes and points at this spot. He then walks off.

Maria waits for a little while, chewing on her lip when she heads back inside the apartment – she says goodnight to Manager Lee first – and she head straight to the living-room where nothing has happened since she left. “Okay, baby, what’s going on? Jonghyun said he didn’t propose to you and that you ran out on him – what’s going on?”

She sits down at the armrest to the sofa, her feet by Hannah’s.

“He wants to marry me – he kept talking about it, even told his mother he will marry me,” Hannah whispers. “It freaked me out… He kept repeating it. I can’t get married.”

“Aren’t you making a big deal out of it?” Julia grimaces from the floor.

Hannah lifts up her head, blonde hair in the way to see clearly but she is definitely glaring at Julia. “Have you ever been so in love in someone that you want to spend your whole life with that person, but each time you get so emotional being with him he has to bring up the future, saying we will get married and live together, repeat it for you that all you can think about is ‘marriage, marriage, marriage’?”

Hannah knows the answer, none of the ladies have ever had a guy say such things (well, two of them have been in We Got Married…). She sits up in the sofa, all warm wearing the jacket but she doesn’t take it off.

“Why are you so afraid of marriage then?” Julia shrugs her shoulder, “Just tell him you’re not ready.”

“I have told him. I have explained and told him I am not ready to talk about it, but he keeps bringing it up. I freak out. I got no idea what to say or what to do,” Hannah says and stares at Emelia’s hand placed on hers. She had no idea she was shaking again, and noticing that she wells up in tears anew. “We’re not on the same page, him and I. We keep fighting of the same things…”

“Are you thinking of breaking up with him?” Maria gets it first.

Hannah lowers her head, covering her face in her hands. “I can’t take this,” she whispers. All the rumours, all the fighting, all this attention; she can’t take all of it at once, her mother’s words keeps repeating in her head that she is not made for this kind of life. She has wanted to prove her family wrong this whole time but each time she thinks of the future, those words are brought back to her and she don’t want that to happen – she don’t want to loose this life. Emelia sits up with her, putting her arms around the youngest and just agreeing to everything she says. Maria is doubtful though.

“You should talk to him in the morning,” Maria suggests. “Let’s go to bed early and talk to him later.”

“I can’t see him,” Hannah whispers. “Whatever I say, he won’t listen.”

“Maybe he can see through your bull,” Maria mutters, having the three ladies look at her in shock. “Oh don’t act surprised. No one will ever love you like Jonghyun and you are scared of that, Hannah; you put the blame on yourself when the blame is on your family. You were taught to not be loved, you can’t even realise the ing fact that you have fans adoring you.”

“Watch it, Captain,” Emelia warns.

“Make me look like the bad one, but I’m just repeating things you have already said, EM, you know that,” Maria tells her strictly. “Hannah, you got a lot on your mind. Don’t break up with the one who loves you madly. It will be a mistake.”

“I’m living in misery now, you want that to continue?” Hannah asks.

On this, Emelia reacts. That Emelia is on Hannah’s side, understanding everything, that is something new, but one thing that Hannah and Emelia both know about each other without a wall in between is when they are lying. Hannah senses Emelia’s reaction and hurries to say she is going to bed, heading upstairs to be alone.

“You know she will lock herself up for as long as possible,” Maria tells the two ladies. “She won’t talk to him.”

“Maybe they should break up,” Julia mutters, rolling her eyes when Maria gives her a glare. “For three years they have had these fights – the same fights, basically – and then they are sweet for a while and starts all over. I don’t think it’s healthy.”

“They don’t fight that much,” Emelia mentions.

“It’s because of the job,” Maria sighs though. “They work so much that they build up the feelings of missing each other that it either turns out into a fight or making love. Hannah can’t handle the stress, we know that. She has everyone on her back telling her what to do, and Jonghyun is serious about Hannah’s weight, I know that because he asks me about it.”

“What about her weight?” Julia wonders.

“Hannah keeps loosing weight, and Jonghyun think it’s because of him,” Emelia answers, though she is wondering why Hannah lied to them.

“It’s understandable though. These past weeks, since the rumours started, Hannah has lost so much weight. It’s getting out of hand,” Maria says, her voice gets lower, “And I don’t think it’s just about Jonghyun. Sure, she freak out about marriage, she has always hated that topic, but this is something different.”

“Something is going on her nerves for her to lie to us,” Emelia mutters, now being the one getting the attention. She sighs and leans back in the sofa. “Hannah loves this life, we all know it. We all love it. She lied when saying she is miserable. Something is going on.”

“She won’t tell us,” Julia mentions.

“She’ll tell us,” Maria nods, getting up on her feet. “She’ll tell us when she feels for it, and until then, we got to keep Jonghyun away. He won’t make things better at the moment.”

Emelia nods in agreement, repeating that they will keep Jonghyun away, though they all know it is Maria who will give him a call to tell him to keep a distance.

None of them can get a good night of sleep. Hannah can not believe what has happened, she is shaking in her bed, not even trying to sleep. She is sitting up against the wall, she lies down the wrong way, she read letters she has received, and she cries the whole time. Emelia can hear her at times through the wall between their bedrooms. She is lying on her back in her own bed, thinking about the late evening they have just witnessed, thinking of the things Hannah said and what parts she has twisted from them. Emelia knows Hannah loves Jonghyun, but she also knows that whenever the ladies say as a joke that Hannah isn’t girlfriend-material, they know it is the full truth too – then Jonghyun says she will become his wife. He scared her away. In another room, Maria is talking to both Jonghyun and Key over the phone, wanting details from Jonghyun of what happened and try to get Key’s help to keep Jonghyun on a distance for now. She understand the upset Jonghyun, he screams at her over the phone, Maria keeps calm, knowing she can’t wake the other ladies up, and she tries to solve things with him, explain what she knows; saying something is up with Hannah and that they need to solve that before she can meet him. He is terrified, because he doesn’t know that in 5 Pieces’ household she has already said she is breaking up with him while in SHINee’s household it is just a girlfriend upset over something.

It’s five in the morning when Hannah walks down the stairs of the apartment. She has gotten dressed, and in the night’s silence, Emelia had heard her being in the bathroom and sounding to get ready for something. Knowing the youngest right; she is running away. Hoping she will just go to practice, Emelia still head down the stairs to take a look at the youngest.

Hannah is in the hall, putting on shoes and she is wearing work-out clothes. Emelia thinks at first look that the youngest is heading out for a jog, but she spots a bag and knows she is not going there.

“The gym?” Emelia asks, standing by the corner to the hall with her arms crossed over her chest.

Hannah looks up, her face pale without sleep, make-up and from crying, and she looks back down to grab her bag, ready to leave. “Yeah… I gotta do something.”

“… Remember that you’re not allowed to do boxing,” Emelia reminds her of what was said around New Year.

“I know,” Hannah mutters. She doesn’t need to be reminded of it. She opens the door, not looking at her friend when saying they will see each other at practice and leaves the apartment with that.

Manager Lee gives her a ride. She had texted him, asking if it is okay for him to do that, and he answered right away. He couldn’t sleep either, wondering what is going on, but he doesn’t ask questions, not now either. Hannah likes it. She sits quietly in the car, trying to think of what things to do at the gym; run on the mill, do some lifts… She has to do something, to get things out of her system, to simply just sweat it off even if she knows she will be sweating during practice too – she just need this alone time. Her manager is with her the whole time, sitting in the corner of the gym, secretly keeping an eye on her while looking busy doing other things, seeing just how frustrated and angry Hannah is. He doesn’t know what’s going on, just yesterday they were talking about y text messages in the van, laughing and having fun, and a few hours later she come home crying, not wanting to see Jonghyun. Maybe it is a culture thing, Manager Lee starts wondering, Jonghyun talking about marriage and Manager Lee can understand that because they have been together for three years (he can’t understand it either because of their work, idols at their peak getting married and they aren’t even 25) and Hannah has never, ever, brought marriage up for what the manager knows, thinking maybe people in Sweden don’t get married in their early twenties. He doesn’t know this is personal and not a culture thing.

Hannah finishes within two hours, taking a quick shower at the gym and changes into sweatpants and a sweater, wearing a tank top underneath to wear for practice. Manager Lim drives the other ladies while Manager Lee takes care of Hannah.

The day at the agency begins with a meeting, the ladies getting to eat breakfast at the same time. Somehow it’s good they eat because that stops others from noticing the weird silence, though it’s noticeable how they glance at each other. After working out in the morning, Hannah has a surprisingly good appetite. All she can think of is yesterday, the dinner she had with Jonghyun. It was a good dinner, they talked and teaser each other, it was a game with their eyes looking at the other, taking each other in, the food was delicious… The appetite disappears after a few bites and Hannah just blankly stares at the table, her eyes swollen and she can just hear a buzz from the others talking.

They are talking about clothes. Yong Hyun is there, showing off the sketches he has prepared of how 5 Pieces’ outfits for this comeback will be like.

“I like this one,” Maria points at one of the dresses – or a corset dress, short and glamorous. “The style for [POWER UP] is better than [Girls Power].”

“It’s better to wear shorts for [Girls Power] because of the chairs you use in the choreography,” a representative tells them. “It is more a dirty y look than [POWER UP], darker than that.”

“As long as my and are covered, I’m in,” Maria says, the leader of the ladies. “No will be shown, that’s ty.”

“We know how it goes,” the representative says, as they have gone through it already. “Just look at the sketches and agree to them. The stylists will prepare the tests so in a few weeks you will try the clothes and we’ll see how it works then, okay?”

Maria looks at her members, knowing that not all of them are okay with a y concept. If it is too short, too tight, too revealing – they will not agree on it. Maria likes what she sees on the sketches for what 5 Pieces might wear on their comeback, she trusts their stylists, and that’s why she turns to her members to know what they’re thinking. Hannah is completely gone; Emelia shrugs her shoulders not caring at all; Carolina mumbles with food in and Julia says she likes the leather for [Girls Power].

“Okay,” Maria agrees on it. If the ladies are quiet, they agree to it.

The meeting continues, going through more sketches and whatnot. The ladies are present by body, but most of them are just glancing at each other or are in other thoughts. Maria is not going to bring things up, she will let Hannah think this through before telling them anything, knowing that if they talk to her she will just shut down and ignore them.

So they start their practice of the day, not as focused as they should, but they know what they are doing. Hannah sighs a lot, trying so hard to let the dull feeling in her whole head about Jonghyun get out of her.

The whole day they practice, and after the first hours, Hannah is getting more and more focused on the practice – not any threats, not Jonghyun – just practice. She is overly glad that Jonghyun has a schedule all day with SM the Ballad, leaving her without having to look over her shoulder the whole time. She has thought it through. He hadn’t met her in the morning because she was at the gym, he came over but she wasn’t there, making him texting Hannah and Maria during the day instead, and tonight the ladies are heading to Japan to film a PV tomorrow as well as have their first live performance of [Let’s Go!].

“What are you going to do with Jonghyun?” Julia wants to know when the ladies are packing up at home for a two-night trip to Japan. She is standing by Hannah’s door, looking inside at Hannah finishing up.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you breaking up with him?”

Hannah closes her eyes by the question, sighing. Julia don’t know what the silence means, and she gets worried when Hannah continues to zip her bag. She doesn’t know what to do, like always it is too much going on for her that she can’t find a good way out.

“You want me to talk to him?” Julia asks.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Hannah mutters, pushing the bag aside and heads to the bathroom. “Leave me alone, Julia.”

Julia sighs and leaves the room when Hannah locks the bathroom’s door, not knowing if Hannah is in there to just be left alone or if she actually is going to use the toilet. Hannah keeps washing her face over and over again, thinking of what to say and do.

What should she do about Jonghyun? Being in love doesn’t mean you have to be together. She is receiving so much threats lately, fans and antis hating her; she is not breaking up with him to announce it to the world; she will break up with him to focus on 5 Pieces. It will be the same reason it always has been, she has to make a choice of who comes first because handling all of this at once is too much for her. She’ll have to tell her members something too, just tell them she is not ready to be in such a deep relationship.

Getting out of the bathroom, Hannah can hear the noise from downstairs. She worries they might be talking about her again and grabs her bag to head downstairs to make it stop, but as soon as she comes out of her room, throwing the bag over her shoulder, she sees Jonghyun hurry up the stairs. That’s the noise; Jonghyun pushed his way through Carolina who had opened the door, Maria shouting after him and as soon as Hannah sees him she runs back inside her room, almost screaming at him to leave and Jonghyun runs after her.

Hannah throws the door shut, not even getting to close it correctly until Jonghyun is pushing the other side, almost throwing her back when the door flies up.

“You are NOT going anywhere before you talk this through with me!” Jonghyun shouts when stomping inside her room.

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Headline 15th:  5 Pieces Poses In European Magazine + Talks About K-Pop & Music

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X. devonalias