“You hate talking about everything that is about you!” Jonghyun answers, waving a hand in the air to show his frustration. But when he has said those words he sees her face-expression change to the darker and he knows he said it the wrong way when she walks to the elevators, shrugging his hand off her arm. “Hannah-”

“Just leave me alone.”

“I’m not leaving you alone,” he answers and step inside the elevator after her, but Hannah turns around and pushes him on the chest so he steps outside. “Now you’re acting like a child.”

“I do not care. Leave. Get out,” Hannah mutters, still pushing his chest whenever he tries to get inside. The elevator-door keeps stopping because he is getting in the way, and though he struggles to get inside for the doors to close, Hannah won’t let him. this is really frustrating.

“Don’t push me, Hannah. I’m the only one beside from your members who can get up face to face with you and tell the truth because I care, not because of some image. This is me caring – you, on the hand, are running,” Jonghyun growls at her, holding the elevator-doors open with his hands, stretching his arms out in a very manly way. “If you’re not eating I will keep annoying you until you are eating. And don’t challenge me when I’m upset at you.”

“And don’t challenge me!” Hannah growls back and pushes him a final time on the chest, hard enough for him to step back so the doors will close but Jonghyun must’ve expected it or gotten tired of her pushing him as he grabs her arm and step inside the elevator, forcing her up against the wall with her back so suddenly that she looses all strength in her body to push him away and before she knows it, he kisses her roughly on the lips.

Hannah gasps for air over it all but Jonghyun keeps kissing her roughly, pushing his body on hers up against the wall and all the anger in her responses through the kiss as she puts her arms around his neck, her fingers goes through his hair, grabbing it to kiss him even harder.

She is angry at everyone reminding her that she isn’t eating enough, that she is loosing weight, and she is angry over the fact that she knows about it but still isn’t fixing it and those around her are all reminding her of that too. she is angry at Jonghyun for commenting on her weight when he knows how difficult it has been for her to loose weight in the beginning and it isn’t that easy to keep your weight on the same number when you are constantly working, your schedule looking different every day. Maybe she is angrier at herself, with everything that is going on and when she wants to relax and just enjoy her boyfriend’s company when he has to bring up the same thing her managers have been bringing up. She does not need that, not from him.

The way his body presses against hers make her heart beat faster, the blood in her veins gets warmer and she has to get up on her toes when Jonghyun holds her tightly up against the wall, his body heat felt through their clothes and his mouth drives her crazy that she just wants to push him to get her anger out of her system. To push and then attack him with a kiss, but she has no space to do that. Jonghyun gives out a load groan, slamming his body against her before backing away and Hannah gasps for air, surprised that he breaks the kiss and her arms falls down on her sides out of strength. He gives her just a second to catch her breath before he grabs her arm and swings her around to push her against the other wall, holding a puzzled Hannah against the wall when pressing the right floor-number for the elevator to start moving and while Hannah is waiting for him to kiss her again (longing for it), Jonghyun is just looking at her with a fierce face-expression affecting her the same way his kiss did and she takes a deep breath to keep herself breathing.

Jonghyun moves his head closer to hers, breathing heavily with his eyes focused on hers, making her loose her breath either way.

“You make me passionately frustrated, Nabi,” Jonghyun breathes in a low voice, his jaw tensed and his eyes glances down at her lips just briefly and she knows he is taking notice of how heavily she is breathing after the kiss. He puts his hands to hold on to her face, her face looks small when he holds on to her. “What am I supposed to do with you?”

Hannah makes a small grimace at his question. In a swift move she grabs his arm, turns it around and shifts their positions so Jonghyun is abruptly standing against the wall and she is the one pressing her body against his. A small smirk arrives in his face at the surprise and Hannah looks seriously in his eyes, her lips close to his. “You seem to forget that I am not a Korean woman – I do not need anyone doing anything for me.”

He bites his lip with amusement shown in his whole face at her answer; his free hand goes around her back for her to not get the chance to break how close they are standing like this.

“I never forget that,” he tells her, his voice suddenly ily amused.

Hannah chuckles and takes his hand away from her as the elevator has stopped. But she doesn’t leave him there; instead she leads the smiling Jonghyun inside 5 Pieces’ apartment and she does not let go of his hand when they are taking their shoes off, and quietly they walk inside, holding hands. Emelia and Julia are sitting in the living-room watching TV, eating ice-cream and greeting the couple briefly but Hannah does not stay to chat and instead leads Jonghyun upstairs right away. Emelia smirks from the sofa.

“Have they done that a lot when I was away?” Emelia asks Julia. Though Emelia wasn’t in Japan on her own all that long, it is still fun to come home and notice how normal it all seems.

“He has come here maybe … once, I think,” Julia shrugs her shoulder, not interested at all. “I’m usually asleep at that time.”

Hannah throws her bag down behind the door in her bedroom, barely getting time to turn around in the dark bedroom before Jonghyun throws himself over her, his arms put around her waist and his lips on her neck. Hannah closes her eyes and leans her head back by the kisses and she puts her hands on his shoulder, noticing that he has taken off his jacket when entering the bedroom as she can feel his warm skin under her fingers.

 

Being warm lying in her bed, Hannah moves the pillow to more comfortably pout at Jonghyun who is sitting at the edge of the bed, buttoning his jeans. The blonde girl is in nothing else but underwear under the quilt and the only light in the bedroom is the lamp on her bedside table. She takes her hand through her hair, getting it out of her face.

“Do you have to go?” she whispers against the pillow, enjoying the sight of his bare muscular back.

“I was supposed to just give you a ride home,” Jonghyun answers and picks up the belt that he has no idea of how it ended up on the floor, how it could get out of his jeans. Hannah sits up, still pouting and being upset at him. Quietly she glides up behind him, placing her hands on his back to feel his muscles and she leans forward to place feather light kisses on his skin.

“No one works at this hour,” she mutters and pouts when Jonghyun turns around to look at her. it doesn’t look like he will stay, and it’s around three in the morning; no one in his group is still at SM: She keeps pouting when adding quietly, “I want you to stay.”

Jonghyun smiles at those words, he kisses her on the cheek. “I want to stay too, but I have a recording to do. I have time on Friday though?” He leans back on his hand in the bed to kiss her bare shoulder. Hannah sighs, closing her eyes briefly when he kisses her again on the shoulder.

“I don’t know. I have drama filming and we have to practice for the event in Japan on Saturday,” she mutters, putting her arms around his bare shoulders to rest her forehead against his. “If you leave me in bed, I will not miss you.”

“That’s sweet,” Jonghyun jokes, thinking she is threatening him with those words and then glances at her body. “But I’ll definitely miss you; you dressed in that, in particular.”

Hannah makes a bunny-face at him, “Too bad you complain about it then,” she comments and pushes him away lightly to cover herself under the quilt.

“Hey!” Jonghyun crawls on top of her, his legs on each side of her body, hushing her when she laughs under there, “your sisters are sleeping, remember that. And I don’t complain about your body, I’m just saying that I love your curves – which I always have. And it is a pity that you stop eating whenever life gets too difficult for you.” He notices how she stops struggling under the quilt and their eyes meet as he calmly tells her; “It’s as if your body gets to suffer for what is hurting in your heart. That is why I am concerned when you don’t eat; it tells me all too much and whenever I see you, I see it with my own eyes and that hurts my heart too.”

She blinks at him, not really sure how to respond to that. Jonghyun brushes the hair out of her face and leans down to kiss her forehead.

“Please stay,” she whispers when he sits up straight.

Jonghyun smiles softly and lies down next to her, his fingers touching her cheek. “Try to sleep,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around her. Hannah pouts, knowing he won’t stay and she struggles to get the quilt under him, and then embraces it around his bare chest. Jonghyun smiles at her and kisses her forehead again, repeating that she should get some sleep. Though Hannah doesn’t want to sleep, she is exhausted and she knows she will be woken up by the alarm in 4-5 hours.

It feels like minutes before she opens her eyes again, to realise that she is alone. Hannah sits up and looks around in the dark room before she turns on the lamp next to the bed and sees on the clock that it is already morning.

He didn’t stay

She is sad that he didn’t stay, and that she didn’t wake up when he left. She sits there for a while, just pouting when thinking of the night and how lonely it feels with no one next to her. She isn’t angry or frustrated anymore, and she knows the reason for that. a light pink blush covers her cheeks when she crawls out of bed by the memory of how heated they were from frustration. Spotting her bra in the bed she realises she is in just (she must have taken it off in her sleep) and she grabs the raglan-sleeve print t-shirt she uses as a nightwear, putting it on while going over to her bag to check her cell phone. No missed text messages. With a pout she throws her phone on the bed, but then spotting something on the bedside table.

A note?

“-Nabi, I want you so badly when you are angry,

But I will hunt you ‘til you beg on your knees if you don’t improve your eating right away,

And make sure to call me during the day when you know your schedule

Because I miss you already, even when I’m sitting next to you, watching you sleep

You look so peaceful when you sleep, I’m sure you have dreams of me ;) I’ll confirm that one day

I’m sorry for not staying (I’ll make up for it) I would have loved to wake up next to you in the morning

Sweet dreams, your Hybrid Jjong-”

Hannah bites her lip, realising that a smile has been growing in her face while reading the note. This night has been crazy. I want you so badly when you are angry, she giggles when reading it again. It explains why he kissed her all of a sudden in the elevator, and she is amazed at herself how their childish fight ended up like. Not that she complains, not at all, and she is happy for all the combat training she has gone through during the summer as she used it in the elevator. She can make a point with that.

As if Emelia is standing next to her in her mind, Hannah is reminded of when Honggi came by. She didn’t show him her bedroom, and for some reason she is proud over that. Jonghyun doesn’t know that he came by at all that night (how would he react if he knew?) and Hannah isn't sure she will tell him because she isn't sure if he will really like the thought of Hannah and Honggi alone in the apartment…

Checking the time once again to confirm that she has woken up fifteen minutes before her alarm is supposed to ring, Hannah prepares for her day, locking away all thoughts of Honggi to focus on her day. She also checks her schedule, pouting and muttering for herself when noticing that she has a lot to do.

Maria is filming her second music video filming today, but Hannah has no time to visit her like the other members have – she is super glad she could visit so much last Saturday.

Distracted by what will come once her schedule on the set ends, Hannah spends most of the day filming for the drama, practicing her lines when she hasn’t been in front of the camera and like always she has really been giving her best playing a secret agent. Once the filming ends for the day, Hannah heads to the agency to talk to the producer of Life of Pieces. Manager Lim is there with her, just to make sure she is alright and everything goes as it should – they will film Hannah’s explanation.

At the agency a room has been prepared for Hannah to sit down as if she is going to do an interview with cameras in front of her. they spend the first hour just going through what to say and she then sits there in the focus of the camera, nervously listening to the director and manager talk but not really understanding what they are saying as she is worrying on her own what she is supposed to say. What will she say? How will she explain her family situation without making it sound rehearsed or like an excuse? What will people think of her when they see this? What kind of reaction does she want to have and how can she try to shape that? In the end; what is she supposed to say?

“I have no idea of what to say,” Hannah mutters, staring in the camera in front of her that they are about to turn on.

“If you need help to say anything, we will give you questions,” the director answers.

“You don’t have to speak clearly, Hannah; this is personal, give it time and let the words come out however you want them to,” Manager Lim adds in a calm voice. “I’m sitting right here all the time.”

She isn’t new to how filming like this goes like. She knows you can cut and edit and whatnot with the footage, but her problem is not that; her problem is what to say. She knows they have gone through what to say but she is still worried of how to actually say it. What will she say? That her sister used to take drugs and got no idea of what she is doing because her brain is ruined, that her mother hates what she is doing so much that she curses at her own daughter?

The director told Hannah that the parts that were supposed to air tonight will air in next week’s episode instead; the call between Hannah and her mother from 5 Pieces’ concert several weeks ago. Backstage during that day, her mother had called and though Hannah had tried to explain a final time that she is not just dropping everything she has in her life to start fresh in her hometown with a random job she will never enjoy doing… It didn’t turn out well, not well at all. She always tries to explain for her mother how much she loves and gets from being part of 5 Pieces. In the end, her mother had cursed and called her names, said things you should never hear from a family-member and it had made Hannah break down completely. She closes her eyes now, sitting with the cameras in front of her, remembering how she had been sitting by the wall, hysterically crying or whatever it was she was doing, and her members were sitting there with her, calming her down. It was so weird how she had broken down there but with the help of her members she was able to take on the stage, and just that feeling when you are on the stage; nothing else seem to matter.

Why can’t her family understand that?

“Are you ready, Hannah?” the director asks.

She opens her eyes, seeing everyone else in the room being ready and she bites her lip when nodding; the cameras are rolling.

“What happened in New York?” the director asks a question to get it started. It had been Manager Lim’s idea to open with a question for her to have a read thread to follow. Hannah glances from camera to camera at first, nervous, thinking back at what happened most recently in New York, and slowly she begins to talk – making sure she speak Korean.

“I was told that my sister- my older sister, had tried to contact me,” Hannah starts off, swallowing nervously. “The only thing she wanted to say was that I have no home to go back to…; which I found quite funny because I haven’t been welcomed home in some years now. But it was annoying how my sister told me that I had upset our mother by not going back there, after all the things she told me, and … it annoyed me also because we (5 Pieces) had spent some great unforgettable days in New York and it was so … much fun there, and then my sister called right before boarding the plane so that super long flight back to Korea was ruined…”

She pursues her lips, glancing from her hands to her manager who just nods at her that it is going fine. She takes a small breath to continue.

“The thing about my sister … that I haven’t wanted to talk about before… … …” Hannah is looking down at her hands where her fingers keep nervously moving. She is quiet for a long time, trying to find the words of how to continue and the staff is waiting around her, letting her take her time. It’s better knowing Manager Lim is sitting there. “The reason all this mess started was when my sister called and asked for money. I know a lot of people keep asking why I didn’t give my sister some money, and the reason is that I haven’t seen my sister in … perhaps, three years. We never had this strong sister connection, but it isn’t that we haven’t had the opportunity to meet. She is always coming with excuses… And some years ago my sister was taking drugs, using drugs… I went to Korea about two years after that, and I … well, since I haven’t spoken to her in a while, I don’t know what she is doing these days. Do you understand what I mean?” She frowns, glancing at her manager who keeps nodding calmly at her. “I didn’t want to give her any money because no one else in our family would give her any and I didn’t know for what reason, so I didn’t give her any either…”

Does she make any sense? It makes sense in her head, but she isn’t sure if others will understand her. She even had her manager help her with the Korean words for ‘drugs’, but she didn’t know if she used it correctly. Her manager shows her that it is going just fine, and with a deep breath she continues. A confession – that is what she is doing. After five years in Korea her fans have been aware of that she hasn’t gone all that well with her family that dislike what she is doing, but they haven’t been told the full story. Hannah doesn’t tell them the full story now either, but since her sister lied to the media earlier this summer it has just gone worse and worse and she has been pushed to say something. The truth about her sister, to why Hannah didn’t give any money to her and to why she was so surprised to hear from her sister at all. The thing about her mother is different and not spoken about; it is a deeper wound in Hannah that she doesn’t go in to and probably never will. In the episode that will air next week, everyone will see how Hannah broke down backstage when her mother called. No one will know what was said in that phone call, they will just see a part of Hannah’s reaction. The key in that part is 5 Pieces; how the group sits together and comfort.

How will fans react? What will they think of her?

She doesn’t cry now when talking about it, clearly and simply saying that her mother wants her to drop out of 5 Pieces and go back to Sweden and live a life like everyone else in her family. Tears, yes, but she doesn’t cry. Hannah will never go back, not after everything that has happened. She doesn’t tell the full truth on that for the cameras, for her fans – she never can. Hannah isn’t sure if she even knows the full truth. All she knows is that her family hates the life she has chosen and they are trying to break her mentally to ruin it for her. Hannah has never fought against anyone as hard as she has been fighting her own flesh and blood; she maybe doesn’t deserve all these amazing things she gets to do in this life being part of 5 Pieces, but she definitely will not go back to where her family lives. She would rather die.

“What is the name ‘Charlie’ to you?” the director asks, looking at his papers. Hannah sighs by the question, even if she knew it would come she can not believe what a big issue it has become. In the media, her sister had said she did not recognize Hannah because she wasn’t using her real name, which is absurd.

“My full name is Charlie Hannah Martens,” she reveals, her hands firmly together in her lap. Hannah doesn’t look nervous anymore, she just want this part sorted out as it is such a silly thing that people really shouldn’t take so seriously. “Charlie is my middle name, put in that order because my mother thought it fitted better. I have always been called Hannah, in school registers it has been Hannah too and all my friends call me Hannah because that is my name. For me, Charlie is mostly used as a nickname among a few people…”

Once she is done recording for the reality show and have gone through the footage with her manager and director to make sure it is okay and if they should do something more, Hannah goes to a different kind of confession – to the psychologist. Once every week Hannah has gone to a psychologist the past month to talk about all these things going on at the moment. It is a deal she made with Lee Sooman after the Seoul concert in July, as everyone around her thought she wouldn’t be able to handle all things at once; they worried if she will be able to work. For how long she will have to meet this female psychologist, Hannah doesn’t know, but she need to tell the truth and do well during the sessions because the psychologist talks to Lee Sooman if there is any progress. In other words, if Hannah does well, she will be able to end this silly deal and if she doesn’t do well she will continue with it. Today’s focus is of course what Hannah just did in front of the cameras – her confession – and the woman wants to know how Hannah felt when telling what she just told, how her family would react if they saw it and just a bunch of questions she isn’t really sure how to answer. It is already their sixth meeting and Hannah think that the only reason she is going through it with this woman for 50minutes every week is so she can keep working; perform with 5 Pieces, film a drama and all the other things she is doing.

By the time she is done at the agency she gets a ride home by Manager Lim. He doesn’t talk to her, and Hannah is quietly looking out the window. She is in deep thoughts, thinking about her day – about her evening – and she comes up with things she could have said better, explained better. Manager Lim doesn’t look at her, he hasn’t spoken a word about what they filmed tonight; he has been overall pretty quiet. She wonders what he is thinking of; if he has anything he wants to tell her…

She wonders a lot, but is afraid to ask. She doesn’t look at her manager; instead she just looks out the window, watching the late evening of Seoul’s streets they pass by.

“Carolina and Julia are both at home,” Manager Lim calmly says when they are getting closer to the apartment, his voice soft as it often is at this late hour. “I will go pick up Emelia… Tomorrow morning you and Iulia will go to the studio-recording first, after that Manager Lee will give you a ride to the drama filming. Once that is over, you are going back to the studio to finish the recording of the song you did yesterday and also to … Are you listening?”

Hannah nods, biting her lip without looking away from the window. The car has stopped outside the apartment-building. “And to practice for the event the day after, right?” she finishes his sentence and glances at her manager. “I know, Appa.”

He smiles softly at her, putting his hand on her head to pat it like you do with children. “I’m just making sure,” he comments and sighs when nodding at her to go inside. “Don’t stay up for too long – I will check on you all when I come back with Emelia.”

Hannah nods while getting out of the car, holding up the door when leaning down to look inside. “Drive safe, Appa,” she tells him before closing the door. She bites her lip on the way up to the apartment, not knowing why the group’s father is so quiet.

Entering the apartment Hannah knows exactly where the two members are. Loud music is coming from the office that Hannah and Carolina shares, and the youngest know that Carolina and Julia are working on something or that Carolina is just showing off because her voice can be heard shouting over the music. Hannah walks past the stairs leading up to the second floor and past the offices at the front to go left inside the big living-room instead where the TV is on and a lot of lamps too, so after getting a drinking-yoghurt from the kitchen further in, Hannah turns it all off to just leave one damp lamp lightening up the big space. She walks past Ace, their Ragdoll cat, who is lying like a ball in one of the sofas, and with his head following to see where she goes when turning off the lamps Hannah picks him up in her arms with the yoghurt in one hand, her other hand managing to pat him for the cosy pet to lie comfortably in her arms.

“What is all this noise, ha?” Hannah mumbles in a baby-voice to the cat, kissing his soft fur and holding him to her chest with her arms and right hand. Ace loves to be carried; he loves everything that has to do with skin contact where he is being treated like he doesn’t have to do anything at all. The puppies are worse than that; they need someone all the time, but Ace can easily just walk off on his own and lie in his own corner. None of the puppies went to greet Hannah by the door when she came so she guesses they couldn’t hear it because of all the music.

With Ace cuddling into her clothes, Hannah walks over to the door leading inside the office all the noise is coming from. She sees that her chair by her own personal desk is gone; noticing that further inside the room, Julia is sitting on it next to Carolina by the room’s second desk that surely is much more colourful than Hannah’s with all the stickers and notes and random things. Julia is sitting with a guitar in her lap, playing on it while Carolina is trying out some remix of something they have done and you can not hear Julia’s guitar a single bit in the loud music.

“Hi!” Hannah calls above the music, but not sudden or loud to scare the cat cuddling in her arms. She lightly waves her hand when being noticed but none of her friends seem to care more than that, their focus turned back to the music. Hannah walks out of the room, wondering if they saw tonight’s Life of Pieces. MTV was showing on the TV, so they should’ve watched it, right?

She takes Ace with her up to her bedroom, dropping all her things before lying down on the bed with the cat, cuddling with him and hoping his claws doesn’t ruin her quilt when he stretches out his paws.

“Did you watch tonight’s episode, Ace?” she pouts at the cat. He stretches out next to her for her to caress him more, and Hannah sighs, caressing him on the stomach. “Tomorrow, Jaejoong will probably bring it up. He watches it, apparently… I had no idea.”

With a grimace she picks up her cell phone when hearing she receives a text message, and she reads it without changing her tired expression, sighing again when putting her head on the side next to Ace. He is closing his eyes, always so calm and sleepy.

“You think he saw it too?” she wonders in a low voice and checks the text message again. Jonghyun has texted her, writing that he can’t stop thinking of her the way she looked when he saw her last time – in underwear. She isn’t sure if he wants to put her in other thoughts because he knows what she did this evening or if he just … a guy.

With a sigh Hannah gets out of bed. She is tired after this day too, after this whole summer, and after a quick shower she lies down in bed again where Ace is still lying. She check her cell phone again to see what Jonghyun has texted her this time, and she smiles as he just want to confirm that she read his y text, or what it now was. Just as she is writing an answer to him she can hear something loud happening downstairs and she smiles knowing it are Emelia and Manager Lim returning. Carolina’s voice is loud when talking to the manager, maybe coming with an excuse to why the music was so loud in the middle of the night, but when the music begins to play loudly again Hannah is pretty sure she is showing off her work for the manager too.

It takes many minutes before the bathroom’s door to Hannah’s room is opened and the pale-faced Emelia peeks inside with a smirk.

“Still awake, I see,” Emelia comments before stepping inside the room, clapping her hands lightly to get Ace’s attention but the cat is just stretching out more comfortably on the bed with his tiny paws pressing against Hannah’s arm, claws out to show how cosy he is lying there.

“How is it going for Maria?” Hannah wonders when Emelia sits down on the bed. “She sent me a picture, but it was too bright for it to make any sense.”

“Well, you know…” Emelia shrugs her shoulder. “It is very pink. Her song is called [Princess] after all. But it is kind of cool though; I like the song.”

Hannah smiles at the answer, knowing that Maria is going in different concepts for her first full-length solo album. She is cool and a little dark in the pre-release song [A Better Day] with the low-tone rap by EXO’s Chanyeol, then for [Princess] she is going all-out on the princess concept – Maria’s version, that is. Hannah is really looking forward to that: Maria fits any concept.

“You didn’t see Life of Pieces, did you?” Emelia sudden asks, changing the subject. Hannah looks at her with surprise, because she has been wondering the same thing with her members, and for several seconds she can’t find an answer to the question, just blinking at her friend. Before she finds any words, Emelia continues; “I saw it at Maria’s video filming. all the pink and bright colours were driving me insane, so I watched tonight’s episode. It was quite funny. They showed some parts of when we were in Japan at the beginning of the month – mostly just me – but then all of us when we were there over night for some photo-shoots. It was fun to see. Oh, and they showed from when we were going to New York, especially you filming there and you should’ve seen yourself.” Emelia laughs at the memory while Hannah doesn’t get it. “You kept saying how weird it was to be there without us ladies, and then they showed a clip of the rest of us at the airport or on the plane, being a big mess. It was messy. But fun. And it wasn’t that much they showed at all about you filming in New York; I don’t think they even told what you were filming for…”

Emelia chuckles by herself when she gets quiet, leaning down to kiss the cat on his head before sitting up again, chuckling anew at the memory of tonight’s episode. She smirks when looking at Hannah, something else amusing her this time.

“For being an actress, you are horrible to hide what you are thinking about,” Emelia comments out of the blue, her face-expression softening up when Hannah looks confused. “They didn’t air the part with your mother tonight. They showed just a little more from last week, but it is next week the rest will air.”

She nods, not bothering to tell Emelia that the director told her that earlier. Hannah’s face-expression is just tired; Emelia must have read it wrong.

“Tonight’s episode was charming, don’t think about next week,” Emelia tells her “Ah, by the way; Appa is downstairs, trying to tell Carolina that her music is great but she should go to bed. You should sleep too.”

Hannah pouts and sits up. She is tired.

 

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Two days later on Saturday, 5 Pieces is in Tokyo since morning to promote their new single [Knockout] and mini-drama Run Out. It is nerve-wracking in the afternoon when they are having their outdoor mini-concert/event because they will film the event, there are a lot of people there and the ladies have a lot of songs to sing.

Hannah doesn’t feel enough prepared and for that is more nervous than she should be, because yesterday when they were supposed to practice for this event she was filming for the drama. Which made her have to spend all this morning going through the songs, learn the lyrics for the new songs and remembers all the other things. She is confident it will go well because most of the songs they will perform have been performed before; three songs are from the new single but since 5 Pieces has come out with a lot of Japanese songs this year they hare turning the event into a mini-concert out of the best songs. Hannah recognizes all of the songs, the challenge of not being completely prepared is that if the song doesn’t have a difficult choreography it is a song with strong vocals, and Hannah is trying to mentally prepare herself with that.

The group is sitting in the van on the way to the outdoor event. The sun is shining, the weather is great now in late August and the five ladies are in a great mood as they have heard there are a lot of people waiting for the event to begin and their single as well as drama is doing well on the charts. Wearing high school uniforms for this single concept (since they are students in their drama), they are wearing skirts and jackets over white button-shirts and a tie matching the jacket and skirt. Hannah is wearing dark over-the-knee socks to hide as much of her legs as possible (in her head that is the excuse but in fact she wears it to hide the recent bruises she got from a fighting scene she filmed), Julia who is wearing the same kind of socks like Hannah have pulled down hers to her calf, revealing her pretty legs. Each member has her own detail to the uniform, the same way they had during the drama filming. Maria has coloured her blonde hair to bleach blonde for her solo comeback; it is all wavy and pretty for today’s schedule, straight cut at the end. Emelia still has her waist-long hair in black, today having it in a braid down her back while Carolina’s armpit length hair with fringe has recently been coloured from dark brown to black and is now put up in two ponytails so she looks like a little child wearing expensive glasses. Julia’s short spiky pixie cut is still in golden brown and to fit her character in the drama it has been styled coolly to stand up a little to the side, and for the youngest, Hannah, her long dirty blonde hair is still the same as always, cutely in two braids hanging down on each side of her face. They all look like high school students dressed like this.

Though Hannah notices when Emelia holds up the camera to film herself from the passenger seat for their reality show, she only get interested to be part of it when Carolina notices it from the seat behind Emelia.

The van has a total of eight seats with two at the front, then three in the middle and three in the back. Hannah is sitting in the middle row on the very left behind the driver with Julia sitting between her and Carolina; Maria had taken this as a chance to sit in the very back with two managers to sneak in some sleep during the ride. Maria has after all been spending the past week in either the practice-room or filming a music video, and she need her sleep.

“We are at the moment going to an event here in Japan,” Emelia is telling the camera, making sure it is filming her and she smirks at Carolina and Julia making faces in the background. “The event is taking place at a zoo, and as you can see there are two wild animals sitting behind me. So they are being sent home.”

Hannah giggles along with the managers at the back over Emelia’s joke, and then laughs as Carolina and Julia begin to really become wild animals by making as many crazy animal sounds they can come up with. Carolina makes the infamous wolf-sound from EXO’s song [Wolf] and all of a sudden they are singing that song with laughter, fooling around to it. Hannah is in on it, but gets quiet when remembering their leader and she turns around while the others are singing, checking on Maria to see if she is still sleeping in the loud van, and to her surprise; the leader looks to be sleeping. Well, it shouldn’t be a surprise. Maria is listening to her own music and she is ignoring them completely because she is used to relax in the chaotic surrounding. Hannah can’t do that; she envies the leader.

Soon enough they arrive at the event. They do the usual routines backstage, not forgetting to warm up and go through what to do during the event and to greet the staff and the female host who goes up on the stage and the ladies can hear the host explaining how the event will be done and some safety rules to the audience.

Backstage, 5 Pieces are right behind the stage, fixing the microphones in their hands and taking deep breaths; prepared to get up. They have cheered and they have warmed up their bodies and voices, and they are ready to do what 5 Pieces usually do. Hannah is okay working like this, just pushing through everything because she always misses the stage.

There is one stage, two big screens on each side of the stage that will show a close-up of 5 Pieces during the event; over 5.000 fans in the audience gathered outside in the nice weather to see the five ladies. Once the host is done talking and is walking off the stage, the two big screens begin to show a video. It is from the mini-drama Run Out, like the trailer that has been showed on TV to reveal what the drama is about but not too much; five rebelling high school students. The audience cheers just lightly, maybe focusing to see the video in the daylight rather than cheering for it and 5 Pieces is backstage, nervously waiting to get up on the stage.

Hannah smiles at the ladies. Carolina is moving her feet back and forth on the first step of the stair, getting in the mood by probably listening through the first song in her head, or maybe she is thinking of how the audience will react during the event. Maria is drinking some water, handing the bottle to their Japanese manager when she is done but Emelia reaches for it to drink some as well. Hannah smiles at Julia, who is trying to catch a glance out at the audience. Hannah shakes her hands, a habit she has when standing lke this, seconds away to get up on the stage; it is a habit she has to get rid of the nervousness.

The introduction/opening video for the event comes to an end with a clip from the first episode in the drama of 5 Pieces standing outside the gates of their new school, the camera sweeps by in front of them to show each members’ confused face-expression. On the screen, Carolina said in Japanese “this is an all-boy school… … right?” Subtitles appear on the screen too in case someone can’t hear, but the audience cheers at that comment and Hannah in the back is smiling, thinking it sounds so awkward to hear the ladies’ voices echo out over the audience. In the video, Julia looked down at the papers in her hand and answered “it’s written here though…”, and they all agreed “I think it’s a mistake” before the ladies looked back up at the school, not understanding what was going on. Emelia finished by saying “let’s go fix it then” and the camera sweeps by behind the backs of the five girls walking through the gate, and the video ends nicely.

Now, the audience cheers loudly. Because then video has ended and 5 Pieces is walking up from the side of the stage. Hannah walks first, the ladies following behind her until they are standing in a line next to each other on the stage and they begin to sing the first song as soon as they have taken their positions.

The first song is a ballad called [Life, Life, Life] from their first Japanese album that was released earlier this year in March. All the songs they will perform tonight appears in the drama, as background music to fit the story or as for the new single the three songs are part of the drama as 5 Pieces portrays an underground band. It is a calm opening for the event, and Hannah is thankful the group performed it during their Japan Arena Tour a few months back; just because of that tour she remembers the song now when they perform it. it comes easily once you are on the stage, a microphone in your hand, the ladies next to you and an audience there to see you.

They are amazed when seeing the crowd gathered in front of them. It’s amazing to see the audience; it is like an ocean of people in front of them, standing outside in the middle of Tokyo, and Hannah sees during the first song that a lot of them are wearing school uniforms. She knows that Emelia had said during a radio interview that fans could come to the event wearing uniforms, and that is exactly what is in front of them; fans wearing school uniforms. Fans have been talking with each other about it too, agreeing to wear school uniforms to show support to the drama, and it is funny to see because 5 Pieces are in uniforms as well. it is like a school performance, a huge one.

What makes Hannah smile while singing the ballad is when seeing two girls at the front; they look like real high school students in their uniforms (who knows, maybe they are?), and these two girls are happily jumping and waving their hands brightly to get attention while most people in the audience are just enjoying the ballad. What probably makes Hannah smile warmly is that the two girls are waving towards Hannah; they want her attention. After everything that has been going on, the youngest of pieces has been worried whenever she is in front of cameras or fans or being on the stage – but her fans doesn’t seem bothered by her family situation. Not when they meet her face to face like this. It makes her whole body warm.

The first song comes to an end but 5 Pieces continues right away with the pop song [Secret Touch]. It was their single release in June, the most recent before [Knockout]. Dancing in a skirt is something extremely rare for not just Hannah but for most of the ladies (well, Maria usually wear tight dresses and Carolina can wear a skirt some times), but she still notices how each one of them are extra cautious of it and for some reason Hannah’s movements are more feminine and graceful when she dances with this outfit. It has to be for the skirt. The first two songs go by smoothly. The audience is lovely and Hannah keeps smiling for herself when seeing how the audience is enjoying the first songs. For the third song, they will perform a new song from their newest single, which actually is a cover of Shania Twain’s [Man! I Feel Like A Woman]. 5 Pieces sings and fools around for it in the drama several of times, and it is in their single like a bonus for their fans.

Hannah begins to walk forward with her ladies, walking with attitude to the music.

“Let’s go girls!” Maria cheers and like practiced, 5 Pieces get the audience cheerfully bouncing with the song.

“Come on!” Emelia adds in her dark tone, blinking to those at the front.

The girls get up next to each other for the first verse, with Hannah in the middle as she is the first to sing, and she is smiling coolly  when beginning to sing her part, the ladies on each side of her and a girl in the audience screams out her name.

*I’m going out tonight-I’m feeling alright

Gonna let it all hang ou~t

Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice

Yeah, i wanna scream and sho~ut*

At the end of the second line, Hannah takes out the white shirt tugged inside her skirt with one hand to let it hang out, and she can hear Julia laugh next to her by the audience’s loud reaction to it and Hannah just smiles wider for the third line, really loving this as she holds up a finger up in the air for the last words on that line and for the last line she pushes her hand out to the front, giving a happy wink to the audience. She loves this; she lives for this.

There is a short music-piece after that with just the girls moving their shoulders charmingly and girly (very not something you see 5 Pieces do on stage that often, and the audience seems to like it) before Hannah and Carolina leans towards each other with a chic sigh ‘ah’. Hannah lifted up her hand in that diva-girly way for that part, her leg too lifted up a little before the ladies all hurries over to the right side along to the music as Carolina continues to sing, all of them moving in the pace to the music. Hannah finds it really funny to perform this song as they can smile and fool around to it while following a simple choreography that lets them put their own style in it. She keeps seeing Julia smiling widely at the members, taking notice a lot about the audience bouncing up and down to the song.

*No inhibitions-make no conditions

Get a little outa li~ne

[Emelia] I ain’t gonna act politically correct

I only wanna have a good ti~me*

[Maria] *The best thing about being a woman, is the prerogative to have a little fun*

The ladies do go crazy for the part below, the chorus. All of them sing one part together before it is just Carolina singing with the ladies kind of dancing. They ruffles their hair (or for those who have braids they just ruffles the air by their head), and for ‘men shirt-short skirts’ they take their hands like a game over their chest from one side to the other and then shows from their knee a little bit higher to show the short skirt. It is hilarious to hear the audience scream through the whole chorus while 5 Pieces is just having a blast – this is probably the most girly song they have ever performed, not acting cute but really the girly part.

[CHORUS, 5 PIECES] *Oh, oh, oh [Carolina] go totally crazy-forget I’m a lady

Men’s shirts-short skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah-doing it in style

Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction

Colour my hair-do what I dare

Oh, oh, oh, [Maria] I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel

[Carolina] Man! I feel like a woman!*

They really do have fun with the simple dancing and free space with their own little details put in and the face-expressions shown on the big screens make the audience cheer brightly. They ruffle their hair that has become kind of their thing after their [Daze] came out in December-January, and they turns around girly, really showing off this high school girl vibe. Maybe that is what makes the ladies smile and play around with the audience so much; it is a girly performance with a cool feminine song cover, and though 5 Pieces rarely gets to show this kind of stage they are doing it perfectly fine. Hannah finds herself loving it: it is a really fun song that they all listened to when they were younger and though it is in English, the audience seems to like it too.

The third song comes to an end after the fun performance and Hannah is almost jumping when the girls stands up next to each other in a line again, smiling brightly.

“Pieces of one,” Emelia begins their greeting in Japanese and the five ladies finishes together; “Hello, we are 5 Pieces!”

They finish with a bow and smiles up at the loud cheer. Fans in japan are so polite; they are most of the time quiet during the live performances but once the music stops, they get loud. It is a short talk, more like a greeting with the ladies introducing themselves and the event and also blessing the great weather that the audience have brought along, before they go on to the next song.

 

Three songs later, 5 Pieces get to sit down on chairs to do a segment for the event, like an interview. The female host has come up on the stage and is explaining the segment that has the topic ‘school’. 5 Pieces will easily said e answering questions that has to do with the drama or the topic ‘school’, because the whole concept of their single and drama is in fact that. It isn’t more complicated than an interview. After talking a little bit about the drama, about their characters and roles and who is appearing in the drama beside from these five ladies, the woman asks if they have their own role within the group.

Hannah is sitting on the group’s left side, while the host is standing next to Maria on the right side, so when Julia turns to Hannah to ask for translation the blonde one easily translates it in a low voice without grabbing the attention. Since Maria and Emelia are the two mumbling things without having a specific answer to the question, the host suggests that the members one by one can say what she thinks the role of the member sitting next to her, beginning with Maria saying what she thinks Emelia’s role is within the group.

“Oh… um…” Maria begins, trying to find some Japanese words to describe the one sitting next to her that she looks at. Emelia smirks, her green eyes sparkling in the sun and though these two are just looking at each other, the audience begins to scream loudly. “She is…-how do you say ‘language’ in Japanese?”

“Language representative,” Emelia suggests in Japanese, being a mind-reader to what Maria was planning to sat and Maria turns to the host, pointing at Emelia, saying ‘what she said’. The audience laughs and Hannah is leaning a little forward in her seat to look at them, smiling widely at how cute the ladies become when speaking Japanese. Emelia continues; “I am the language representative in 5 Pieces.”

“You speak the most languages then?” the host wonders.

“Within the group, yes,” she nods and the audience is cheering, agreeing completely. Emelia receives a lot of cheering by saying ‘I Love You’ in Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Swedish, English, German, Italian and Spanish. Though the last two languages and Thai she only knows how to greet and say those words, but the challenge was to say ‘I Love You’ in as many languages she knows and even the members are laughing when she says it in the different languages. The rapper looks so proud to receive the loud cheer.

The host then wants Emelia to say what Carolina’s role is within the group, and Hannah starts laughing when someone in the audience says that Carolina is Emelia’s victim at all times. The youngest outburst of laughing makes others laugh as none of the ladies heard it, or they didn’t understand since it was said in Japanese, and Hannah is the only one laughing at the words. Even if she has the microphone in her lap and the free hand covering , the audience reacts to her laugh and Julia looks like a clueless question-mark, glancing from Hannah to the audience as if a joke has been cracked between the audience and Hannah.

“What happened?” the female host asks with a surprised laugh.

She can’t stop laughing. Hannah leans back in the chair, laughing badly, knowing those around her are chuckling and slowly laughing too just because she is laughing and the audience is screaming loudly at her reaction while others are just wondering what she is laughing at. Still smiling brightly and giggling, Hannah brings the microphone to to explain what she had heard; the others laugh when they understand what happened but not as crazy as Hannah laughed. Someone in the audience calls Hannah cute, and she just keeps smiling for herself. It was funny. Just how the fan confidently called out that Carolina is a victim and how no one heard it.

“That’s probably true…” Emelia nods for the joke, but Carolina don’t think that is true at all. “No, in the group, Carolina’s role is … she is like a radio; always talking or singing.”

“True!” Carolina is fast to agree in Japanese with a hand in the air, laughing with the audience at her reaction.

“Or she is just the annoying one,” Emelia continues, smiling when Carolina looks upset at the answer. The audience thinks she is the mascot of the group, calling it out when Emelia asks for their opinion and the ladies agree that she is the mascot the way she is always so positive and in a good mood. Carolina brightly thanks the audience, and Hannah is again smiling brightly at how cute everyone is.

Carolina will say Julia’s role within the group, and Carolina randomly turns her chair to face Julia, putting a hand on the friend’s leg, making Julia laugh and the audience scream. The ladies know how to make the audience squirm like fans. “Julia’s role is…” Carolina says in Korean with her eyes sneakily looking at Julia, Emelia is translating it to Japanese as they don’t have a private translator with them. “She is the fun girlfriend. Whenever you need something fun, Julia knows how to do it.”

Carolina looks happy when Julia raises her hand with a smile, the two of them doing a high-five for speaking well about each other and Hannah nods when Emelia says Julia has promised Carolina in return for speaking well about her. The audience doesn’t agree, loving how the girls are so cute with each other. Hannah feels that she has been standing on the side watching them with a smile, just observing the ladies doing this and that with the audience cheering, but now the focus is put on Hannah when Julia will say her role in the group, and Hannah’s smile is just getting wider when Julia turns around to look at her, worried for what her friend will say; especially with the smile Julia has in her face.

The youngest puts the microphone to her lips, in Japanese says; “Be nice,” and she keeps smiling when the audience laughs at that.

“Hannah’s role within the group,” Julia begins to say in Japanese, as she does remember the Japanese questions from what she went through backstage, but she continues in Japan; “Hannah is the cute one, that no matter what she does, she is cute.”

Emelia translates it and Hannah asks with disappointment; “How is that a role?”

“Your cuteness is very nice,” Julia sweetly says and the audience screams out loudly at them when Julia again raises her hand, wanting a high-five for saying good things and Hannah laughs when giving her what she wants.

“Everyone seems to be in a good mood today,” the host comments, and the ladies agree, Emelia giving some comment too.

It is then the last member’s turn; Hannah will say what Maria’s role is within the group, and the youngest speaks in Japanese through the microphone; “Everyone knows that Maria is the leader, and within the group she is also the leader. She is leading the group very well whenever we need it.”

“I’m the awesome one too,” Maria adds but she gives Hannah approval for what she said and Hannah smiles happily to the audience. For the fans, they will probably comment that Hannah (as the youngest) only speaks good about Maria (being the leader) to not be hit later or something.

Continuing with the next question, the female host asks what 5 Pieces’ roles were in school back in Sweden, which makes the ladies all smile and talk freely.

“Julia was the quiet one,” Carolina is fast to answer.

“Okay, I can say this quick and simple,” Emelia begins to answer; “Julia, the quiet one; Hannah was the follower, Carolina the weird nerd, Maria was a lost popular one and I was the rocker.”

“The rocker?”

“How was I the follower?”

“I was a nerd too,” Maria nods.

“There is a strange relationship between us,” Emelia confesses, taking advantage of her good Japanese around the ladies during the event. “Because we are all really different so if you saw us at school, you would never guess we would be friends. That’s how different we all are.”

They continue with more questions, the host mentioning that the questions are sent in by curious fans.

“Emelia is promoting a lot in Japan on her own, is Hannah jealous of that?” the host reads out a question, and the attention is turned to Hannah.

“Oh…” Hannah says, looking taken back by the question while the ladies chuckle at it. Emelia leans forward to look at Hannah, asking her if she is jealous. “Um… I’m jealous that she gets to be in Japan a lot, I really am…”

“Hannah is always wondering how things go for me when I promote on my own,” Emelia continues to tell, “She is really thoughtful because she knows how it is like to work in Japan without the team. Last year when I first started my solo promotions in Japan, Hannah was my biggest support even if she was in Korea.”

“Aw….” the audience smiles and Hannah laughs at their sound. She loves being on the stage, doing these things, being in a good mood and especially with their fans reacting on exactly every single thing they do and say. She loves to be here with her ladies, how they play around but still stay sincere. If only her family could see her like this. Would they even recognize her?

The female host is smiling at the audience. “Isn’t 5 Pieces such a warm group?” she asks the audience and receives a loud cheer that makes the ladies smile brightly. Carolina cheers too. The host turns to her papers before looking at the ladies. “Hannah and Emelia have both acted in Japan before; how was it for the other members to try acting for the first time and would you like to do it again?”

“I would do it again,” Maria is fast to answer, “But I am no actress; I need lesson.”

They laugh at her bad Japanese and the host repeats it but in clear Japanese with Maria just nodding. She is so honest.

“It was really fun to act, and the staff we worked with was really kind to us,” Maria is saying, in Korean. “If we got the chance i think it would be really fun to do it again.” She turns to Emelia. “Translate.”

Once again everyone is laughing, and it is not for the answer she gave but what she said to Emelia, who takes a deep breath before translating it and also adding; “We always want to try things together and ever since Hannah acted in a drama a few years ago we have wanted to try do it together, especially as we are big fans on dramas and it is a different challenge. Lucky for us, the response for our first time acting together is positive, so thank you.”

“How was it to see each other act in the group? What do you say, Hannah?” the host asks and Hannah slowly brings the microphone up to her lips to get some time to think of the question and answer.

“For me, personally, when I have acted in other dramas before I have been really nervous when the ladies visited the set. But to act together has been really fun and because we did it together we kind of understood each other’s situation and felt more comfortable acting than how it would be if only one of us did it. The other members were really good and had fun with their characters, which for me was really fun to see too as I kind of could bring them to what I have experienced before,” Hannah answers in her good Japanese, Emelia smiling brightly and nodding in agreement.

The host is satisfied with the answer too, continuing to ask another member how it was for them. The event is going really great.

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Headline 29th: Julia Puckers Up Her Lips For 5 Pieces’ 10-Months Old Puppy In New Instagram Picture

Headline 29th: ‘Life of Pieces’ Episode 6 Airs With 5 Pieces Challenging Activities In Korea, Japan & America

Headline 29th: Maria & Carolina Nags At Each Other On The Way To New York In Tonight’s ‘Life of Pieces’

Headline 29th: Next Week’s ‘Life of Pieces’ Preview 5 Pieces In New York – Hannah’s Breakdown Backstage?

 

Headline 30th: 5 Pieces Poses With Japanese Actors In SWEET Japan Magazine For Their Drama

 

Headline 31st: 5 Pieces Performs New + Old Songs At “Knockout” Special Event In Japan

Headline 31st: Look How It Goes When Hyunsuk Tries To Teach Maria To Cook In ‘We Got Married’ Episode 41

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X. devonalias