”..to further my studies in Australia.”

Your mum widen her eyes.. 
“…Honey, are you positive?”

You gave a hard nod. 
“I think it is better this way.”

"Honey, when I did that I didn’t meant for you to not choose them both.. I just wanted to let you know the situation, so that you’re aware of your decisions and not be blinded by love… I just.."

"Mum, I know. "

You paused as you collected your thoughtss.

"I have put much thought. I cannot possibly choose someone between them both. I.. " tears unknowingly starts to form.

Your heart aches at the fact that you’re leaving Daehyun just right after you have patched up with him. 
Your heart aches at how you give up Tim, a worthy man to be your husband.

Your heart contributed to all the possible pain felt at every joint in your body, every nerve that trembled in agony at your difficult decision.

Feelings, sometimes you wished you didn’t have them.

Feelings can make you fly and glide across the sky with esctacy
and yet can drop you down to hell as you were burnt with every step you take.

Your mum embraced you tighter. 
“Honey, All I want is the best for you. I am sorry what I did put you through so much pain”

"Mum, I am glad you opened my eyes. You’re right. *sniff* I was in love with Daehyun believing in fairytales *sniff* like how I did when I was sixteen. I honestly didn’t dream of marrying anyone *sniff* except for him. "

"But…."

You cut in before she can continue, “I really, really, really love Daehyun. I love him so much that I am willing to sacrifice my happiness for his. I love him so much that I really don’t mind going through hell for him. I can’t stand in his way from him achieving his dream..Being an idol, a singer… is his dream, ” you mumbled softly at the end.

"If I love him, I should let him go. I shouldn't put him in a position to choose between Babys and me.. "
You regretted asking him. 
How can you put him in such a position?

"Honey.. "

"And," you added, "I can't give Tim false hope when I don't love him the way he loves me. That would be mean. "

Tim, you already regarded him as your guy bestfriend. How can you put him through this pain? It is better if he hates you, so he can let you go better.

"Since... I cannot choose both of them, I might as well leave both of them to not cause more pain. "
You ended bitterly, as your memories brought you to the letters Daehyun wrote for you. 
He cannot possibly go through that again. You can't let him..

That night.. You couldn't sleep. How could you possibly sleep? 
You thought about going to Australia.

A few days back, your college had actually opened up a scholarship exchange program for your course.
You did had an intention to try out. 
"Perhaps,"  you thought, "now would be a perfect time. "

Your tears found their way down your jawline, leaving your pillow soaked with tears that held so much emotions.

The wind blew against your window, causing it to rattle.
With every rattle shook your bones, like taking in blows from the cane.

Deep down, it was for the best, but it had brought you so much pain.

You couldn't take it, you got up and took your favourite pen, you set up the prettiest paper, and with the first drop of ink starts your letter.

"Dear Daehyun.... "