DAEHYUN POV

I woke everyone up. 
I'm pathetic. 
I'm sorry to let you all see this state of me.. 
It was so tough hiding for two years.. 

But today.. 
I can't.. 
I can't find that mask I used to hide myself. 
I can't find that courage to stand up from crying.. 

I don't care what they are going to say.. 
( Let the storm ragee on~~ -
A/N: Let it Go is in my head like forever.. I took that line, I admit.)

I am a man. 
I am a man crazy in love with this girl. 
I am a man crazy in love with this girl who loves me. 
I am a man... crazy in love with this girl who loves me... and left me for the third time. 


I couldn't hear what they are saying... 
I know I saw about seven pairs of feets. 
So.. I woke everyone up. 

Newsflash, the dinner I offered to have with her, failed. 
All thanks to me.. 
You have no idea how much I am cursing myself right now.


Stupid. 
Idiot. 
I shouldn't have done that. 

I... 
I... 
I raised my head.. 
I saw seven pairs of eyes worriedly looking at me. 
Stand up Daehyun. 
Stand up. 
Face your mistakes like a man. 

So.. I stood up. 
I pushed everyone away again. 
I walked into my room. 
The door closed. 
And locked. 

I never came out. 

I threw my back against the side of the bed. 
I brought my knees close to me.. 

JiYeon.. 
You cannot cry like me now. 
I'm... sorry.. 



JIYEON POV

You threw the keys on the table. 
You flung your jacket out. 
You went into the toilet... you took out that blue dress. 
You filled the bath tub. 
Till it was half filled. 
You pour the soap in. 
Just like how tears was falling down. 

You let your toes dip in.. 
You did a silent curse. 
You made the water too warm. 
You were so caught up in your feelings you forget to test the water. 

You did a scoff at yourself, with your face contorted into painful face. 
You bit your lips. 
You let yourself sit on the cold bathroom floor. 
You were , and the cold floor stung so badly. 
Not as badly as your heart. 
I'm sorry. 
I'm sorry. 
I'm too selfish Daehyun. 

I... I get it now. 
This was what omma wanted to tell me. 
Silly me, Two years and I expected he would still love me. 
She's right. 
He would have moved on wouldn't he? 
I'm a nobody. 
He's a star. 

Why am I dreaming? 


You gave a hard sniff and stood up. 
Be strong JiYeon. 
Be strong. 

You dipped your toes inside the water again. 
It was now cold. 
Too cold. 
You plunged your body in. 
Face the cold. 
Face the reality JiYeon. 

For the last time.. 
Don't let your heart flutter at the sight of him. 

I... 
I will try again Daehyun. 
I will move on like you did. 



(A/N: For those who are cringing behind the screens while reading this, I hope you could feel the frustration I had while writing this. 
Don't you agree this is usually what happens in reality? Sobs. 
People take what they see and hear too seriously and as their mind thinks and thinks... it eventually becomes two separate situations. ) 






DAEHYUN POV


I stopped crying. 
I lost all my tears, I think. 
I stared at the ceiling. 
This feels so familar. 
Like four years back. 
I.. 
I... would sit like this. 
After a while I'll write a letter. 
I.. 
My heart feels a wave of tickling sensation at the deja vuu moment. 

I should... 
My head didn't continue the thoughts, but my hands reached for the shoe box. 

I tenderly carress the lid of the box. 
It's so dusty now. 

My old pal.. 
Thank you for keeping these letters of mine. 
Thank you for always being there for me. 


I gave a sigh and open the lid. 


I froze. 








This.. this box has been touched. 
An unfamilar envelope laid on top of all the letters I had written. 

I.. Took out the envelope. 
Its.. 
Its Jiyeon's handwriting. 

I looked back at the box. 
I had memorised the way I arranged my letters. 
That way I know if anyone had seen. 
She was close to arranging the way I had placed.. 
But it wasn't it.. 

She.. read it? 
She read my letters?! 

(If anyone has forgotten, refer to Chap 4 and 12) 





I gingerly took up the envelope. 

For some odd reason, I was crying invisible tears. 
I had used up all of my tears. 





I opened the envelope. 
( A/N: I was reading Daehyun's pre-debut story. 
As much as I love to tease the fantasies of my readers of how loving and sweet Daehyun could be. 
I had not mentioned much about the determination and his fighting spirit in this story. 
I honestly don't like an idol by their face, I would find solid reasons to prove them worthy to be my bias. 
So... In case anyone is hating me for making Daehyun so weak. 
I would draw your attention to his two years of fighting spirit to overcome the pain of losing JiYeon. )



Dear.. Jaki. 
This may be the last time I can call you Jaki. 
I.. I am sorry to plan for a day like this. 
I had to.             :( 

Jakiya... Do you know how much you mean to me? 
I am sorry to read your letters... 
I read them a while ago, after we patched up. 
I remember the first time I met you. 
There was six guys walking to me, but my eyes was fixed on you. 
You had that charisma... I couldn't take my eyes off you. 
When you looked at me, I unknowingly blushed. 
You're dashing daehyun, I think I have not tell you enough. 

Just like how you felt when you first met me.... 
I know you're the one. 
I know it. 
I could already imagine walking down the aisle with you even though you haven't confessed then.. 

And when you asked to meet me at the rooftop. 
Do you know how nervous I was? 
Hehehes,... I spend such a long time before the mirror tidying up myself. 
You always had that kind of power on me daehyun.. You always had.. 

And.. of course, I memorised those words of confession you had said to me. 
I... did. 
 

I, Jung DaeHyun,
Love you Baek Ji Yeon.
I have never met a girl that has taken my breath away, never met a girl who made my heart pounds so badly.
You have a heart of gold that made me love you more.
You have an innocent look, that made angels look incomparable to you.
I don’t know how to put words even better to explain what you have done to me, but.. I will protect you, I promise to never stop loving you and bring you happiness, I just want to ask you, 
“Will you be my girl?”

Hehehes, are you blushing Daehyun?

Here's mine for you (wink face) 

I, Baek Ji Yeon, 
Love you Jung Dae Hyun. 
I have never met any guy in my life that I would picture being with them for the rest of my love. 
You have that charismatic charm in you, and that adorable eye smile that always makes my heart flutters. 
Apart from your looks, what I loved more was your, your very heart. 
That innocent and caring heart of yours. 
You were so sweet on many levels. 
You... make me feel so incomparable beside you.. 
I.. 
I don't deserve you darling. 
But you still chose me.. 
You still love me even though I walked out of the doors. 

I still love you even as I walked out of the doors. 

I.. 
I still loved you even though I was with Tim. 
I just realised when I saw you at the dinner. 
It hurt me so badly... 
But I was so relieved when you came for me.. 
I was ready to stay there in the cold.. 
But you came. 
I love you Daehyun. 
I really love you. 


But I had to do this.   

 

Daehyun was biting his lips so hard at this... 



I don't know how to tell you this, Jaki.. I will never love another guy apart from you. You're too precious for me. 
But I can't stay beside you... 
Because it may hurt us both. 

I love you too much to let you go. 
I can never imagine sharing you with anyone. 
I can never imagine getting into the media's attention.. 
I can never imagine being your burden to protect me.. 
I don't ever wanna be your burden, dear. 
I wanna stay by your side. 
But... it is wrong. 
The society would never let us to be together. 
Just because.. 
I'm not worthy for you. 
I need to fight for it.. 
But by the time both of us would be tired from fighting.. 
The innocent love we had.. 
Will it still be there? 
I could imagine you sighing and nagging at how childish I am to let insecurities overwhelm me. 
But Daehyun, I love you too much. 
I am that silly. 
I will never be able to let you go if I need to. 
I will never be able to take any hurt. 
I made a selfish decision. 
I'm sorry. 


Please find a girl that loves you more than me. 
Please find a girl that is worthy to stand beside you before the media's eyes. 
Please find someone.. 
Better than me. 

I love you Daehyun. 







(She attempts to joke now) 
That was a long confession right? Heh! 
I beat you JungDaeHyun. 
I.. beat you... hehehe.. 
But I can't do that anymore. 

I'm leaving for Australia. 
I'm going to pursue journalism there. 
My dream. 
I gave you the courage to pursue your dream, its about time for me to pursue mine. 

I don't know if I'll be back. 

But if I ever am. 
I would make sure I have moved on. 
So you'll live off better without me. 

I'm sorry for coming and going like that. 

So.. 
I decided to make this the final departure. 


Mission #1 ; Last Breakfast for B.A.P 
Mission #2: Bring you to the school, erase all the memories, that years of memories we had together. 
                    Our letters, 
                    Our drawings on the tables. 
Mission #3: The park near our school, the very first time we held hands. 
Mission #4: Watch movie at _____ theatre, our very first movie together with me close to you. 
Mission #5: The benches behind the mall, where you first sang to me after I had dared you. 
Mission #6: We will go to the restaurant that we have been there for seven times. I'll let fate decide with the fortune cookies. 
Mission #7: We will go to the rooftop of ____ building, you remember? We made our dreams there. 
                    You said you wanted to be a singer, I would be a journalist. 
                    I would protect you from pesky news, and you would always sing to me... 
                    That dream we had. 
Mission #8: We will dance afterwards.. Just like how we did at our graduation ceremony. 
                   You were dressed in that gorgeous tux, and I was in a dress of blue. 
Mission #9: We would go back to the beach, that very beach we first slept under the stars together. And how I got spanked by my        
                    Omma afterwards ( giggles)

And finally.. I'll take that sweater that you wore for the whole day. 
It'll be mine to keep. 
I'll remove all our memories, 
Don't ever think of me JungDaeHyun. 
I'm not worth it.. 

I'm sorry once again. 


And.. 

I love you.    


 

TADA LETTER REVEALED. 

I know its really mean of me.. 
But I had something planned.. 
Really big war coming up. 
AND..... 
My other bias will apppear soon! Like finally!! 


Hehehehhs... Have a nice dayyyyy