"Okay, time to leave," I whisper, closing the door quietly. Outside her room, the hallways are almost bare. A few nurse or patients are down at either end, but we are really the only living things out here. And with us, silence.

Beside me, there's the buzz of a working vending machine. I look up at the device and read the signs. 'Do Not Shake' and 'Be Careful' stickers, really. One older man, probably late sixties, hobbles over and puts a few coins into the machine. He looks over to me and smiles.

"Good day to have a nice, cold glass of apple juice, eh?" He says with a thick accent. I smile back and he turns and leaves.

"Hey, are you okay?" Tats asks. His tiny hands cling to my shirt. The rest of the Matoki stare at me with big eyes, waiting for my ultra secret answer. 'Big news, everybody. He-Jin answers simple question with a simple answer!'

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, they were...kissing." It was said with such reluctance, like Tats sounded disgusted. As if the sheer though of it churned his stomach until his body could no longer hold onto what ever remained inside.

"That good-for-nothing leader!" Dada yells, shaking a fist at the closed door. "You guys just got on good terms."

"They like each other, so what? Shawna may not even last the night, I'm not going to get between them." I don't want to beat around the bush and glaze the news with a sugar coating. Even Shawna said it herself. We can only respond appropriately from here on in.

"What?" They all ask out of shock.

"Why 'what'? Of course, we can't stay here, but I can let them have their time together. Something like this can't and won't bother me."

"But, don't you care about him?"

"Yeah, like a brother, like the rest of you."

"Wha-"

"Help! Doctors, help!!" We hear Yongguk yell. Doctors and nurses rush into the room. Adrienne rushes down the hall and grabs my shoulders.

"You're awake! How are you?" She says with quick breaths. I know she means well, but in this situation, there's only one person her heart has the ability to care for. Worrying about two people can break a person. 

"Ask the real questions," I tell her.

".... What happened with Shawna? I heard Yongguk and came rushing."
 
"We don't know. You should check."

As I say that, Yongguk comes out of the room as if he was pushed. He comes towards us, fear and guilt all over his face. "When did you get here?"

"Shishimato, if I get my hands on you-"

"A few minutes ago." I say, interrupting the green Matoki. "We heard you guys talk and left when we saw some close contact."

"He-Jin, I am so sorry. I didn't see it coming and I pushed her away."

"Why are you telling me this? I don't care who you fall in love with. Honestly, I'm getting pissed by how many people are asking me these kinds of questions and telling me all this stuff that I really couldn't care less about. Now, onto bigger, more important news; what happened to Shawna?"

"Well, after we...kissed, she lied back down, closed her eyes and her vitals went through the roof."

We hear shouting from the room and Adrie's cries. I feel compelled to go in and hold her, but to get in the way of the doctors is the last thing I want. Eternity seems to pass before the doctors come back out. The nurses and helping doctors go to other patients. The doctor in charge of Shawna looks at me with sad eyes and takes a deep breath.

"No need for words," I tell him. "I've prepared for this moment for a long time. Please, saying it will only hurt more."

"Funny, the girl in there said the same thing word for word." He runs his hands through his hair and walks away.

The Matokis and I walk silently into the room. I put the Matokis down on an empty bed and sit beside the quiet Adrienne. I wrap my arms around her body and as soon as I put her head on my shoulder, she bursts into tears, causing me to do the same.

I could have prepared all my life for this moment, but it still hurt so much. I can't imagine anyone who likes being sad. I would do everything in my power to avoid this pain. Pain that is not physical, pain that takes my heart and soul and rips it to shreds, pain that takes my mind and beats it until it is a mess. 

I look at the lifeless body of my old friend, her eyes and mouth closed, her body still. I could swear she's sleeping, if only her chest would rise and fall. Tormented all her life, Shawna is finally allowed to rest. My only hope is that it was not too painful and that wherever her soul goes, she's safe.

She-

 was killed.

I let go of Adrie and look around the room. The Matokis had already turned into their human forms and were holding back tears. Other than that, our group was alone.

Maybe I thought that, but I swear it sounded like it was said. And to think that, why?

"Can I just be left alone with her?" Adrie asks us. She's looks at us with eyes filled with tears. One small shake and everything would be spilling out. She is going to cry more than she ever has before and she would rather be alone. Without a word, we abide her wishes.

"We'll probably be staying for a few more days. That alright with you guys?" I ask them, sitting down on the chair. Once again, clear hallways.

"Of course," says Yongguk. The six of them change into their original form and lie down on my lap. They fall asleep in my arms and, after a while, I start to drift away too. My heavy eyelids and bobbing head stop when a tiny voice wakes me.

"He-Jin, why do we have to die?" Toto asks, waking up the others. He yawns and rubs his Mato eyes. "Why do we exist if we cease to exist in a short time?"

I chuckle quietly and look down at the little aliens waiting for my response. "You, sir, are asking a very philosophical question!"

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's just that I don't think I can answer your questions," I say, patting his head to soothe him, thinking about a possible response. "We know matter is neither created or destroyed, so we exist, but we don't cease to exist. Our being, our consciousness as the person we know ourselves as might fade away, but our physical parts are recycled and turned into new things. Yes, we will die after such a short time compared to the rest of things in existence, but you have to hold your head up high."

"'Be humble for you are made of Earth, be noble for you are made of stars'" says Shishi, putting his hand on his comrade's shoulder. "Follow the old proverb and keep smiling, maknae."

"Just replace Earth with Planet Mato," says Joko. "It might make more sense that way."

"I'm surprised the meat for brains knows that!" 

"What do you mean, meat for brains?!" Shishi glares at me and clenches his fists. He charges, but the others hold him back. Just like old times

I laugh, something I feel I desperately needed. The solemn feel from earlier was too much for me to handle. I just needed a quick smile to keep me going. I don't want to break. 

Adrie came out of the room and let me go in with the others. I set them down and opened the envelop addressed to me by Shawna.

"'Dear sweet He-Jin," I read aloud. "I want to tell you that I am sorry and that I'd rather waste away in hell than make you go through that again. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me even in the slightest sense.  I wish your time here was happier. Tell the Matokis I'm sorry to the as well. Tell them that no matter what, their loyalty to you should come first. I may go to heaven, I may go to hell or I may go someplace else, but I'll try with the last of my being to watch over you, to make to lessen any harm that comes your way. Look up at the night sky when you feel down and smile, even if you don't want to. Who or whatever is up there will surely help.

"'I know my time isn't long, and I think you and I share some information that cannot be said. Be careful, is all I can tell you. I do not want you to join me so early. Until we meet again, Farewell dearest friend.'" I put down the letter, pull out a few tissue papers and blow my nose. "Damn, I hate being sad and crying. Dammit!!"

But I'm not being truthful. My tears are for a close friend I lost, and the fear of the unknown. I have no idea what she is talking about, and I feel like that in itself is the worst thing I can do. Her last letter to me is trying to reach my heart, but there is a barrier, for I do not understand.

"Be careful?" Says Shishi, taking the note and rereading it. "Be careful of what?"

"I don't know. I, I-"

"It's okay, He-Jin," Tats says, changing into Himchan to comfort me. "Don't push yourself. Just calm down and take a little moment."

"Excuse me," we hear a small voice say. "I'm the nurse in charge of the patient." A young woman with long, brown hair, bangs just above her sea green eyes and flawless, ivory skin walks into the room. Beautiful comes to mind when I see her. And I'm not the only one that thinks that. "I need to move the body into a separate room. Is that okay with you?" She asks, looking at all of us.

I feel my clothes tighten and I realize Himchan is pulling them with incredible strength. I look up at his face, seeing confusion, shock and relief all on one face. I slap his hands away and finally answer the nurse. "The person to ask is the girl outside."

"She said it was fine."

"What will happen to the body?" I ask, oddly curious what this nurse is actually going to do.

"I am going to transport her to another room where doctors...."

I know she is talking, I can hear her, but I'm not listening to a word she is saying. My mind has drifted far off to a land where Shawna still lived, but and her and Yongguk separated. The Matoki leader gets with someone else (the woman is vaguely familiar) and starts his own family with little Matokis running around. The others get themselves girlfriends, or stick with ones they have, and I'll live with my human boyfriend and probably a new dog. The guys will come visit and we'll eat good food that Himchan and I prepared, and the kids will play with the puppy. I'll gather everyone in the living room and announce my engagement. My favourite five will cheer and hug me and Yongguk will laugh and say 'It's about time'. We'll throw some insults and laugh and hug. Before leaving for the night, Yongguk tells me congrats and wishes me luck with my husband.

What. WHAT? WHAAAAAAAAAATTTT?!

Reality, He-Jin. Stick with this reality, please.

"Then we won't get in your way." I stand up and lead the boys outside. Just as I leave the room, I see the nurse putting the white bed sheet over Shawna's face, a grin as she does so.

Chills run up my spine, but I ignore them and turn away.

______________________________ 

 
I don't know if I should hate the main character, or hate her with a burning passion XD

Merry holidays every one!

And happy birthday!

Minnie-ature panda OUT!

TTFN