Inhale

 

Exhale

 

"Is He-Jin alright?"

 

"Don't worry, Jongup. She's...just really tired. It's best not to go and see her right now."

 

Inhale

 

Exhale

 

"Yongguk, you need to sort things out with her-"

 

"I don't need to do anything! I have done nothing wrong. She's the one that got jealous over something minor."

 

"Yeah, Adrie. He-Jin is just trying to get attention."

 

Inhale

 

Exhale

 

"Stay out of this, Shawna. You are the reason we are all in this mess!"

 

"Don't yell at her!"

 

"You-"

 

"Let's go, Yongguk. Everyone here is being really mean."

 

Inhale

 

Exhale

 

"SHAWNA! I'm not finished talking to you!"

 

"Adrie?"

 

"Ah, Daehyun... I'm fine. Just, go back in your room, okay?"

 

"... Has our leader done something wrong?"

 

Inhale

 

Exhale

 

"He had a fight with He-Jin and he refuses to see how he's hurting her."

 

"How is he hurting her?"

 

"He's drifting away, forgetting her importance, questioning her judgement."

 

Inhale

 

"Our leader is thick headed and very stupid. Tomorrow morning, he'll realize He-Jin's right and he'll apologize."

 

"And what about you guys?"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Yongguk isn't the only one forgetting her..."

 

Exhale

 

The sound of frogs seem to increase as the loud voice dissipate. My heart thumps loudly in my chest and my brain rattles against my skull. I'm so pathetic the only thing I can do is wallow in my room and pity myself. 

 

My bed dips and a cold rush of air greets me momentarily before I am greeted with a warm presence.

 

"You don't mind, right?" 

 

"Of course not, Adrie."

 

"... Do you know why I don't have a boyfriend?"

 

"Um... Boys have cooties?"

 

"What the- NO!" Adrienne sighs as she drapes an arm around me, snuggling closer. "I haven't had a boyfriend in a year-"

 

"No!"

 

"Yes!"

 

"But girl, you damn hot. And you have a great personality." I turn to my other side so I face her, the light of the waxing quarter moon shining on her face.

 

"Yeah, well guys seem to be more attracted to the helpless doll."

 

"Than the y nerd?"

 

"I'm not a nerd!" She whines, slapping my arm. I laugh and so does she, lightening the mood. "Yeah... I guess so."

 

"What happened?"

 

"The same thing as you, I guess. I brought my boyfriend home- smoking hot and smart to boot- to introduce him to Shawna. He came around often, but Shawna would always come between us, always acting like she needed help with something. My boo-"

 

"Your boo?!" I exclaim, trying to stifle my laughter.

 

"Oh shut up! Anyway, my boo felt great helping such a pretty girl that he started to forget my existence. Soon, he couldn't go to the movies because he promised Shawna he'd help her with school work. He forgot about the restaurant reservations because he was so busy with Shawna." She takes a deep breath.

 

"Shawna, Shawna, Shawna!" We say in unison in a nasally voice. We look at each other and burst out laughing. 

 

"At times, I found it hilarious that she had him so easily wrapped around his finger, but I'd begun to realize that since she didn't have much, so she'd take what she could get. Even if it belongs to other people. Growing weaker and weaker as she grew older, Shawna became more desperate for something she didn't have. After a few months of watching my boo dance on the palm of her hand, I broke up with him without him knowing."

 

I raise one eyebrow in the air and open my mouth to speak. "And that did something?"

 

"Yes! From before, I knew that if something is out of Shawna's reach, she'll NEED it. If I broke up with him, all the fun in watching me suffer would go away and her little play thing would be useless. She wants people to suffer like she has." Adrie explains.

 

"Okay....then what?"

 

"Well, one night, I'd told her I didn't mind her having my ex-boo. Shawna flipped. I can't  remember what she said exactly, but it caused me to give her one hard slap in the face!" Adrienne said it like it was a difficult feat finally accomplished. There is a sense of pride and relief as her words pour out and a smile pulls at my lips as she continues but disappears almost as quickly.

 

"It drove her into shock and she collapsed. She was taken to the hospital and I followed her, crying for her to stay awake. She's a manipulative little Bee-Ouch, but she's still my sister and I love her. My ex-boo came to the hospital and flipped at me for causing her to collapse. He broke up with me and left, forgetting me AND Shawna." Adrienne chuckles slightly at the thought before running her hand through her hair. "Shawna stayed in the hospital for most of the year and I didn't bother to find someone else."

 

"Wow.... Our lives could almost be a story." I mumble.

 

"If your boys were famous, it'd be a fanfiction," Adrie nudges me in the side and laughs.

 

"When we go back to Korea, they'll be revealed to the world. They may never get a moment's peace anymore."

 

"Well, that's their problem."

 

"Not mine anymore!"

 

•  •  • 

 

"Are we all packed?"

 

"Yeah!" We all say in unison.

 

"Then let's go!!"

 

I take the red car again with the same people. I follow Adrienne in her black car through the roads of Port-of-Spain and up on of the distant hills. The roads are twisty and dangerous, but I maneuver the car with ease. Youngjae doesn't seem to be too good with it....

 

"I'm gonna puke."

 

"NOT ON ME-"

 

The squeal of our poor little Zelo is muffled by the sounds of a matoki throwing up his stomach. A could stench reaches our noses and burns our eyes. Half an hour more of this torture before we reach Adrienne's family beach house. 

 

Three times bigger than her normal house, the beach house sits carelessly beside the beach, taking in the fresh ocean air. The sand is a beautiful shade of yellowish beige and the water a perfect clear blue. Palm trees sway in the wind and have scattered themselves along the beach. Not far from the house is a cliff looming over the water and forest. It looks neither inviting nor menacing. Just magical, I guess.

 

"It's beautiful," I gasp, running to the water. I loose my slippers along the way and allow my feet to meet the warm, salty water. I hear a scream and turn around to watch Zelo run inside the house, covered in Yonugjae barf.

 

I cringe at the sight but turn back to the water. On either side of the beach, two hills face outward. The water in this bay is calm and finally so is my soul.

 

"It's getting dark, He-Jin." Adrienne says as she puts as hand on my shoulder and stands beside me barefoot in the water. She breathes in the salty air and smiles. "I've missed this place."

 

I follow her back inside. Before anybody can settle down, we need to rid the place of dust and make it so it's useable. Adrie, Daehyun and I rip of the white sheets covering the furniture. Youngjae and Himchan work on the electrical fuses and water system. Zelo waits for a shower, Jongup and Yongguk bring the luggage inside and Shawna sits and waits for things to be ready.

 

"First night here, we build a bond fire on the beach until the water's working properly," Adrie explains, turning on all the taps and showers. "Zelo, you can wash off at the beach." She tosses him a towel and spear clothes and kicks him out before seeing him makes everyone else throw up. "We'll be staying here until the day you all leave. On the last night, we'll build our final bond fire and say our goodbyes. Everyone got that?" We all nod and separate, heading in the direction of our rooms.

 

For once, all six matokis can sleep in their own room and in their own bed. Shawn and Adrienne share a room but different beds and I get my own room. Adrie insist on talking the room in between, so I call dibs on the room with the big window, a perfect view of the rising celestial bodies and the looming cliff.

 

We grab our bags of marshmallows, chocolate, crackers and drinks (non-alcoholic) and we all head to the beach, meeting Zelo as he dries off.

 

"Good bath?" Yongguk asks his maknae.

 

"Amazing." Zelo sighs. We sit at the already arranged logs and we set out to get her wood.

 

The fire is lit and everyone is two to a log, except Zelo, who still kinda smells. We share stories, complaints, laughs and food. The breeze is cool but the fire is warm. Having Jongup beside me is comforting, and his stories are amazingly well told.

 

His voice disappears as my mind races.

 

What if we never took this trip? I'd be working with Kris in my new full time job. The matokis would have been revealed and cameras would have been everywhere. Their fame would have made them rich and maybe even me too. But wouldn't I have missed seeing the beauty of a foreign place?

 

What if Yongguk never liked me? Jongup would have confessed for sure. I don't know if I could have gotten over Yongguk so quickly, but I probably would have warmed up to him eventually. He's a cool guy and really sweet. Would he have fallen for Shawna? Would she even try for him in the first place?

 

What if the matokis remained bunnies? I'm sure they'd have headed home sooner or later, leaving me with Casey and my small group of close friends. It would have been a very emotional goodbye. Would they have ever come back to visit?

 

What if the matokis never crash landed in my yard? Surely, my life would have gone on quite smoothly. Boring, but smoothly. I wouldn't have made as many friends, though. I'd still be a target for Jiyong and Minji would have moved without his confession. Would Jaexing and I be as close as we are now? Could you imagine if I somehow ended up with Jiyong?!

 

What if, what if, what if.... This life is full of what if's.....

________________________