There is a knocking at my door.

"He-Jin, are you awake?" Yongguk (ARG!) opens my bedroom door and peeks inside. That guy with his stupid face and stupid grin.

"Well, now I am, idiot," I groan, turning under my sheets. I curl further into a ball, keeping the warmth with me when SOMEONE HAS THE AUDACITY TO PULL THE COVERS OFF MY BED. Someone is going to die. And that someone is smiling like a complete idiot. 

"Yongguk, I swear, if I get my hands on you I'll-"

"You'll what?" He ask, raising an eyebrow. "Anything you throw at me, I can take it." He sat on the edge of the bed and gave me solemn eyes. "Nothing is worse than hurting you. If I could go back in time and redo everything, I would." He changes into his Matoki form and crawls onto my stomach. "Just please for our... No, for my sake, stay with us." He looks at me with sad eyes, eyes that pull at my heart strings.

"Why wouldn't I stay with you guys? You guys are my family now. No matter how much we may fight, we'll be together. Let there be quarrels that go on for lifetime. The true test of a family is not how they stick together on a good day. It's how they can still stick together and be at each other's throats, knowing the next day will be just fine." I sit cross legged on the bed and hold the small Matoki in my hands. "We will fight battles from outside together, but if we fight amongst ourselves, we must remain strong and learn to forgive."

"You know, I can think of a few witty responses right now that may just make you explode, but," he holds his hand to his heart and nods, "Your words were beautiful and uplifting. I wish I could do the same." He puts his hand by his mask, "I bet you dig that 'good with words' type."

"Geez," I sigh, grabbing the Matoki by his feet and holding him up. I walk into the living room where everybody else is. "This pain in the neck woke me up from my sleep to give me a sappy story. Please go and make sure you bring back the right Shishi next time. This imposter is getting on my nerves." I set him down on a table, my eyes taking a quick, automatic glance at the clock.

9:51 am.

Yo, what do you want for breakfast?" Himchan asks, putting on an apron. With a huge knife in one hand and an empty coconut shell in the next, all you'd need is a wig to complete the 'Crazy Mom' look. When we get back to Korea, this guy is going to be sharing the 'making dinner' job.

"The Himchan special breakfast surprise, please." 

"And that is?"

"Surprise me."

That put a smile on his face. He turns around and starts grabbing things from the fridge.

I walk back to my room and shut the door. I turn my chair towards the window and I sit myself down, my breathing in time with the waves. The wind rushes through my window, simply another stop on its journey. Today's a dreary day as clouds cover the Sun. Darker clouds are rolling in from the sea. Menacing comes to mind when describe it. Gradually, the waves become more dangerous, creeping further onto the beach, falling harder against the sand. The wind picks up to the point where I have to close my window. But I continue to stare out at the ocean.

Tomorrow's the last day here. The memories created here will remain with us for a long time. Adrie and Shawna will go back to the way things were, and so will we. The Matokis and I will get back to my house, and Casey will be there to greet us and-

Wait. That's wrong. Casey is dead, buried next to the tree in the back yard. She-

Was killed.

No, she was sick. She died after a lot of suffering. Why'd I think she was killed? And after burying her, why can't I remember? Did I make myself forget?

 "He-Jin?" I hear Himchan ask.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? I've been calling your name for the past ten minutes. I even knocked, but you didn't answer." Himchan walks over to my chair and kneels so he's at my eye level.

How much time has passed? How long was I sitting in the chair?

"Sorry. I was mesmerized by the sea and zoned out, I guess." I stand up and so does he. I walk with him back into the living room and squeeze myself between the still sleepy maknae and the always delightful Daehyun. Always delightful....

 Adrie creeps around the coffee table, kneels in front of my legs and rests and crossed arms and head on my thighs.

"What kind of mood are you in today?" She asks, looking up at me.

After this, the Matoki secret will be out. If that happens, will we- they, ever have a day's rest? How many more tests are there? At least Himchan can spend more time with Dr. Shin. Those two are such a pair. Deny all they want. And the others... Maybe Zelo can get into school, and, if he wants, Jongup can come with me to university. Pretty sure the rest will get modelling jobs, if not all of them. Just... Will they be the same after they are exposed? Will we ever be the same?

Ah, so many questions. It's like, upon waking up, I've simply been asking questions about the future. I need to get my mind off things.

And then there's that feeling....

"Don't know, really. But I feel like thinking."

"Everybody, close the hatches! He-Jin is going to think for the first time!" Shouts the girl. I gave her one hard flick in the centre of her forehead. "Ow! I know I deserved that, but girl, you need have weaker flicks!"

I shrug, not even pulling a smile. "Honestly, I don't feel very good. I have this foreboding sense of danger." I turn around and look back at Yongguk leaning against the kitchen counter tops. "Did something happen these past few days?"

"Like what?"

"I dunno. Something out of the ordinary. I just....I feel like I'm being watched."

"Can't help you there," says Yongguk.  "I can deal with physical creeps, but I can't fight a feeling."

"I know." I turn back around and look down at Adrie. "Has Shawna woken up?"

"A few hours ago, but she wasn't feeling well, so I let her be." She answers but continues to look at me.

"What? Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Are you feeling okay?" She stands up and puts her hand on my forehead. What is she, my mother from another universe?

"Yeah," I reply, pushing her hand away. "Why? Do I look sick?" I look to Daehyun for an answer, but he only gives me this look like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. 

"No, but you look disturbed." Adrie stands up and walks towards her room. Himchan hands me my plate of beautifully done omelettes and bacon, with other delicious sides, like strawberries and mango slices. I get up to eat at the table when I hear a ringing in my ears.

I look around for the source of the noise, but I can't find a thing. The ringing gradually gets louder, my head reacting with a ferocious pain by my forehead. I sway a bit and hear a loud, but almost muffled yelling. The plate slips from my hands and crashes to the floor. I hear my name, but it sounds like it's coming from a distance. I blurry Yongguk enters my field of vision. He's the one who's calling my name. And he's the one who catches me before I fall.

My breakfast was ruined!

•  •  •

"Thanks, doctor," says Youngjae. The doctor nods and leaves the room. Youngjae looks at me and rushes to my side. "You're awake!" He screeches, holding my hand. Within seconds, he changes back into his Matoki form and lies down in the crook of my neck. The other guys change back and do the same. I hear a few sobs and sniffles, but I can't tell who it is.

"Guys, I'd feel better if you weren't where I couldn't see you... And making my neck wet!" I tell them in my native tongue. They crawl back until all five of them rest on my stomach. Five, not six. "Where's Shishi?" I ask, mysteriously disappointed that he's not around. I mean, normal disappointment plus a weird feeling like I want him to be here.

"He needed to take a walk. Everything kinda happened all at once," answers Keke. He twiddled his tiny like fingers. I look at Dada when he circles my stomach with his foot. I try hold back my laughter because believe me when I tell you, tiny Matoki feet are very ticklish. 

"I only fainted. It happens." I clear my throat (to get rid of whatever giggles were about to escape and look around the room. "Speaking of which, why am I in a hospital? I don't think fainting is that serious. Off a cliff, maybe. Into someone's arms, not so much."

"You don't remember?" The young Toto asks, giving me his sad eyes.

"Apparently not. Mind filling me in on the details?" I sit up and get comfortable for the story.

"Well," started second in command. "You fainted the first time right around the same time Shawna was having an attack. Adrienne had been yelling for help so we rushed over, but Shishi stayed behind because you fainted. As we were getting ready to leave with Adrienne to bring Shawna here, you woke back up and offered to stay behind to pack our stuff." Tats is obviously a little scared telling me the what happened. His voice is trembling and his eyes are wide. I want to tell him to stop, but it's vital I know what really occurred. "Adrienne, Shishi and Dada went in her car. The rest of us stayed behind to help you. When we finally reached the hospital, you collapsed to the ground and started muttering things in Korean. Your body was shaking and you vomited all over, then simply went out like a light. It was terrifying."

I scoop them all up into my arms and hold them. "It must have been, and I am so sorry." I get off the bed and walk with them still in my arms to the bathroom. I set them on the sink counter and wash my face and mouth (nasty). "How long was I unconscious?"

"32 hours." Tats answers, passing me a white towel. 

"What about our flight?"

"Adrie cancelled it for you," says Joko.

"Let's go see Shawna." I throw the towel into a basket and look at my favourite five. What was it really like to have to deal with an attack by two people? "Change back so we can go see her."

"I want to stay with you," says Toto, raising his arms like a child wanting to be lifted up by their parent. The others do the same (OH MY GOSH, DYING FROM CUTENESS), so I sweep them into my arms. I hold them against my body and walk out, acting like they are my stuffed animals. The five direct me to Shawna's room and I open the door slowly.

"Shawna? Are you th-"

"Thanks for coming when I called. You visiting me makes me so happy," I hear her say. "I'm not coming out of this one this time and I simply wanted to see you for the last time." Shawna sits up in her bed looking tired and weak. Her skin is pale and her eyes are red. Next to her, Yongguk holds onto her.

"Don't say that, to loose hope is to die. You don't know you are out of time. What about He-Jin? What about your sister? You need to keep up the hope for them. You need to want to stay with them a little longer."

"Yongguk, I made a deal with the devil that kept me alive a little longer, let me enjoy my time with you. But I hurt someone I loved in the process-"

"It wasn't only your fault-"

"It was. I can't tell you how, but it was. I wanted to call He-Jin, but I can't look her in the eye right now." Her voice started to waver. I peeked in a little further and saw the tears fall from her eyes. "I'm so sorry!" Shawna's mouth continues to mouth words, but only loud enough for Yongguk to hear. Her shaky hand reaches up to his face and she pulls him into a kiss.
_________________________

All caps to show my feelings.

OH, MY GLOB! I CANNOT TELL YOU GUYS ENOUGH HOW SORRY I AM TO BE WHAT I DISLIKE. I TRULY NEVER MEANT TO LEAVE THIS STORY FOR SO LONG. HAPPENS, BUT THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE. AND I EVEN FORGOT WHERE THIS STORY WAS GOING. TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU I TRIED TO WRITE, BUT I WAS STUCK AND GOT DISTRACTED. I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF TO WRITE THIS, SO YOU CAN BLAME THAT IF IT . FORGIVE ME, READERS.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

I can't reply to all the comments I've missed, but I'll try my best.

BAPowerMatoki: so happy you're commenting on individual chapters! Thanks so much for reading and giving me your opinions and desires. I also want a soulmate (not really like Yongguk, but not far from either). For now, I'm flying solo (by choice, I swear!)

Warmy14: I AM SO SORRY FOR MISSING YOUR PLEAS. I promise to start back. I pinky swear. And thank you for wanting an update. ;P

Kyurikim: does this count?

Younggukobsessed: I'm glad. Please, if you have advice to pull heart strings or funny bones, share them with me. I still need to grow and help from a fan is the best advice.

small_lady: good, you'll need to be from here on out.

Bubbletea: so sorry ;u;

Again, if any of you have any tips or suggestions, I'd really appreciate it. And don't sugar coat it (a lot). I've had to rewrite a story because someone gave me some good critiques. I don't mind rewriting a whole chapter to make it good.

Until next time, 

Minni-ature panda Out!

TTFN!

P.s, thank you to everyone who had subscribed while I was gone!