The dinner time stare down has me rattled for the rest of the night.

 

Sure, I've come across quite a few hateful looks in my life, but I could always brush them off with ease. The one Shawna sent me... She had years of hatred in her eyes and in the short moment our eyes connected, it felt like I had opened hell's gates. There was also disgust. Not just the one you'd have when you squish a bug, but the one where you are beneath even the worst of people, that you don't even deserve the light, that you don't even deserve to live. In the confusing moments afterwards, when things return to my sense, I looked at the matokis, Adrienne and Shawna and suddenly felt out of place.

 

I felt like the third wheel, the person you pitied and decided to bring to the party, the odd one out.

 

What hurts most is that it came from someone I trust. Someone I (sort of) grew up with. A pal, buddy, friend. I've treated her like a sister for what, a hateful glare? What the hell?!

 

"Hey, you okay?" Yongguk interrupts my thoughts and nudges me with his foot. I look down at his sitting figure on the floor, and the girl clinging to his arm.

 

My thoughts take over. I start thinking Shawna is out to get me, that she's trying to take Yongguk away from me. From where I sit, Shawna, as are the rest, has her eyes glued to the television, but her body language gives away that she's actually listening to our conversation.

 

No.

 

Shawna is a childhood friend that it haven't seen in a while. I need to take into account these may be the last few moments I'm with her. I can't let my doubts take over. These thoughts and feelings are shameful and need to disappear.

 

"Hey-"

 

"I'm fine," I say as I stand up. "I'm going for a walk."

 

"I'll come with you." Yongguk prepares to stand up, but he's pulled back down.

 

"Don't go," Shawna says in a weak and small voice. "Please stay here." She pleas.

 

Okay. I love Shawna and everything, but the one thing I've hated is how she tries to act weak to get what she wants. It works 100% of the time.

 

"I promise to come back, okay?" Yongguk pats her head, wiggles out of her arm and joins me. Just before leaving the room, I glance back at Shawna, who's eyes are on the TV, but it's obvious she's not paying attention.

 

Okay. I guess not 100% anymore!

 

"Fresh air!" I shout, stretching upward.

 

"Hmm." Yongguk smiles, stretches up and holds my hand in his. I fold into his arms and allow him to lead the walk.

 

"... Yongguk?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Let's say you had a dog, who was your best friend in the entire world."

 

"Sure. I'll name it Casey."

 

I hug him tighter and continue. "But one day, you found this really weak cat and you took it in-"

 

"I don't like cats."

 

"Just pretend!" He nods and I sigh. "The cat and the dog can't live in the same house together because although it was nice when you were around, it was horrible when it was alone with the dog. Who'd you choose? The dog who's had a good life with you, or the cat that depends on you to live?"

 

"I have no idea where you are going with this, but... I honestly would keep the dog. Though the cat depends on me to live, I can't be the only one it could depend on, and it wasn't my responsibility from the beginning. The dog and I are best friends, loyal to each other. But I would work hard to find the cat a good home. Even though I hate cats."

 

I smile at his pure and kind answer. We finish our walk and head inside. We exchange goodnights and Yongguk steals a kiss before his second in command takes him away. Already changed, I hop into bed and relax my body.

 

Three knocks at my door.

 

"Come in," I say quietly. The door opens and Shawna shuffles in in her white nightgown, tied up blond hair and white bunny stuffed animal.

 

"It's really hot in my room. Can I sleep with you?" She asks in a whisper.

 

Forced without hesitation, I pull back the covers and make space. She curls up beside me, making me question the fact we are the same age.

 

"How was your walk?"

 

"Pretty good," I answer half heartedly. I'm tired and would rather not talk, but I don't have the heart to say that to her. "How was the show?"

 

"Kinda boring, honestly..." An almost awkward silence hangs over us, but Shawna breaks it. "Adrie told me you were Yongguk's girlfriend... Is that true?" I nod and she begins to ponder. "How many months?"

 

"A few." Her questions have no harm, but it's late and I want to sleep, so they're driving me crazy.

 

"Do you love him?"

 

"Yes. He's proven to be more than just a handsome face." I tell her confidently.

 

"Does he...love you back?"

 

"Hmm, I think so." My hand immediately finds the necklace around my neck.

 

"Did he give that to you?" Shawna asks, barely touching the pendant.

 

"Half gave, half made. He's truly one of a kind." I look down at Shawna and sadden. "Don't worry. You'll find that right guy soon enough. You're beautiful, talented, smart-"

 

"And close to dying." She admits glumly. She drops my pendant and hugs her bunny tighter.

 

"You are not close to dying unless you think so, which you shouldn't. Just because your heart isn't physically strong, doesn't mean it won't try to live in the moment, to make the best of life. Strive to achieve you goal and make real your dreams. It matters not if time may be against you. Your soul will carry them past time and into the next life."

 

Shawna chuckles weakly and touches her heart. She stands up and heads to the door. "Goodnight, He-Jin. I hope your soul carries your dreams into the next life as well." She blows a kiss and closes the door.

 

With the light from the hallway behind her, her grin looked beyond terrifying. Holding that bunny and in that nightgown, the only thing she missed was the splatter of blood all over and the creepy music!

 

Over the next few days, I wake up to find Yongguk and Shawna practicing English and Korean, laughing and smiling. I smile as I walk past them but frown when Yongguk doesn't notice I'm awake. A few times, when I find Shawna alone, I stay quiet and observe her, curious of her nature.

 

Frequently, she'll pull out a homemade doll (terrifying similar to a voodoo doll) with a thread and needle coming out of it's arm. She'll sing a creepy song of lovers jumping off a cliff so they could be together forever while she pulls out the thread keeping the doll's stomach together and sews it back, seemingly torturing the inanimate object.

 

Other times, she'll just stare off into space and talk to herself. I must admit, it scares me a few times what she talks about. Her mind is very dark and very morbid as she debates so many means of torture. She'll ask herself a question and answer it after pondering. This is the kind of thing that gives me nightmares.

 

Someone would walk in and she'll pretend to be talking about the most beautiful thing in the world. Once they leave, her face takes on the expression of sadistic amusement.

 

Wow.....

 

•  •  •

 

"We'll be taking a tour of Trinidad!" Adrie screams as she runs into my room. I groan and shuffle further under my covers.

 

The one thing I hate is getting out of bed and having the brisk cool air from the AC touch my skin. I could jump out of bed and run out of the room, since it's warmer, but getting out of bed isn't what I want to do.

 

"Come on!" Adrienne grabs the blankets and pulls. My grip is stronger and a low growl escapes my lips.

 

"Let go."

 

Adrienne gives up with sass, placing her hands on her hips and looking down at me. She yells so names (muffled by my blanket) and the matokis and Shawna run into my room.

 

"DOG PILE!!" Adrienne yells, jumping full out onto me. Then comes Yongguk, Jongup, Daehyun, Himchan, Zelo, Youngjae, and finally Shawna, who doesn't jump but climbs on top and sits on the pile like one would on a hilltop.

 

I gasp for air, trying to claw my way out from under all of them. They laugh for a while before finally getting their heavy bodies off. I shoo them all out so I can change.

 

"They are all painful," I grumble to myself as I slip into a pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt. Outside my door, a hear a few voices, so I press my ear against the wooden wall.

 

"...you promise to sit next to me?" I hear Shawna say.

 

"Yes, yes. I promise." My boyfriend answers with a sigh and a slight chuckle.

 

I peel myself from the door and finish changing. When I step out, no one's by the door. I brush my teeth and hair and walk out onto the front porch.

 

"He-Jin! Come on!" I hear Jongup yell. I run onto the driveway and spot everyone getting into a car. Adrie jogs up to me to explain that I'll have to drive the other car, since Shawna can't drive and neither can the matokis. I nod and make my way over to the sleek red car while Adrie goes to her jet black beauty.

 

Yongguk smiles and opens the passenger door when-

 

"You promised to sit next to me." Shawna wraps her small hands around his bicep and slightly pulls him towards her.

 

"Then I'll sit in the back with you." Yongguk opens the back seat door when Shawna stops him again.

 

"No, not here. I always drive with my sister."

 

Yongguk looks up at me with an apologetic and pleading face. I inwardly sigh and nod my head, allowing Shawna to drag him off. I get into the car and find Himchan next to me and Youngjae and Zelo in the back.

 

"Stuck with me, it seems," I say with a smile.

 

"No complaints here," Himchan replies.

 

•  •  •

 

"Those mountains are home to some of the sweetest and juiciest mangos in all of Trinidad," Adrie explains quite proudly.

 

Since this is my first time here as well, I can't give a tour of the island, so we stop the cars and allow the island dwellers to do the explaining. We drive all around; stopping at the savanna for some snow cones (cause Daehyun and I to snicker), visit the open zoo and take a nice long and peaceful ride up the mountain. The guys always make jokes and funny comments about the area. Even being from planet Mato, they admit that this island is stock full of natural beauty and I agree.

 

But in my opinion, I wish Yongguk was here with me.

 

"Maybe in a few days, we can visit the beach. I want it to be the second to last thing, so when you return to Korea, the beach is fresh in your minds," Adrienne says with a sigh and a smile. We all nod in agreement and jump back into the cars. 

 

My shoulders drop when I see Yongguk slipping into the other car.

 

This entire tour, he hasn't said a thing to me, or stood beside me. He's been with Shawna the entire time, chatting and laughing with her. I'm not jealous, but I wish he'd pay a little more attention to his girlfriend.

 

(That's jealousy, dimwit)

 

Whatever...

 

As the sun starts to set in the sky, we head home. I slump onto my bed, face first in the pillow and simply breath.

 

Three knocks at my door.

 

"Shawna, I'm sorry but I'm a little tired and not in the mood," I say gently. The door opens and I hear footsteps approach my bed.

 

"Too tired for your boyfriend?" Yongguk's deep voice whispers in my ear as he lays himself beside me.

 

"... Yes."

 

"Oh come now!" He puts an arm around my waist and pulls me closer, earning a grunt of dissatisfaction. "I came to see you since I haven't talked to you all day."

 

"Did you decide this on your own or did Himchan come and tell you?" I ask, trying to keep the bitterness out of my words.

 

"I did, stupid." Yongguk nuzzles his face in my ear and I relax a bit. I hear a familiar voice and the pattering of footsteps.

 

"Yongguk?" Shawna yells. Though her voice is slightly muffled by the door, it's still recognizable. "Yongguk!"

 

I fell his body tense against my back like he was about to move when I order him to stay. Although he listens, I feel him glance at the door a few times.

 

Are you serious?

___________________

 

Please excuse mistakes.

 

ARIGATOGOZAIMASU!!

 

Next on Alien Bunnies.....

 

'If you can't stop thinking about her, you can go'

 

I can't breathe...

 

'I didn't dare ask about Shawna, because I wanted to enjoy the moment without her'

 

I'm feeling alone...

 

'You'll only be here a week and a half and everything will go back to normal'

 

'Yongguk, wanna go to the park with me?'

 

I'm simply in the way....

 

'You have no reason to think I like her more'

 

He doesn't love me, I know it....

 

'The only reason you're here with me now is because Adrie told you to. You would have gone off with Shawna.'

 

' can't you see you are being unreasonable?'

 

He knows it's true.

 

He's choosing the cat over the dog.

 

FoBob7: hehehe... I hope to keep you surprised!

 

minniebubble12: I dunno. She hasn't killed anyone and she's not suicidal, just very sick, so living for a long time doesn't exist for her. Kinda sad, really.

 

avylol08: you've commented before! A while ago, I think. Sweet! I love all comments!

 

MrsMoon360: I dunno :P