(Daehyun)

As a prince I got pretty much all I’ve wanted, clothes, food, and the girls. Everything!

Jieun is the only thing I wanted that I could have. I’ve been so full of myself that I never thought I could charm any girl that passes my way.

This is the only girl I’ve ever cared about.

I leaned my back against the wall, as I finally let my tears flow out.

*Kai is her boyfriend now… I was such an idiot for letting her go!! If only I would have know that I would feel like this about her I would have treated her better than all the other girls I've charmed. Being extra nice to her to make her happy, and give her all my love and receive her love too.*

I am only human, and we all want what we can't have, in this case I wish sooo much that I could have Jieun. Not only was I an idiot for breaking her heart to pursue another girl, but I had to break it off with that girl to pursue my feelings for Jieun.

I never would have guessed that I would have actually have fallen for Jieun. We are so different I was the type of prince that always got busted for having fun partying and flirting, she was the kind of princess that followed all orders and did everything asked of her for satisfaction of the palace. We were complete opposites. Is that what it means? That opposite attract?

I guess that’s what they say about loving someone, you hate them at first then grow to fall for them, hiding it all behind a false shield of hatred.

You only get to understand love when you’ve lost it.

And right now, I lost it to another guy, because I was caught in my own ignorance.

My back was sliding down the wall until I met with the cold floor.

I would rather die right now. For sure I would rather die.

Anything would be better than what I was feeling right now.

Instead of being angered I was heartbroken.

Everyone I could see was with so other person in a room, I was out in the living room alone.

I threw myself on the couch, burying my face in the soft cushion. My tears stained the couch cushions.

I felt like my heart swallowed me whole. because I was drowning inside of it.

My heart was so heavy I was half expecting the couch to cave in below me.

Even if I closed my eyes as tight as I could my lonesome tears would find a crevice to fall into.

It reminded me of committing suicide. Like my tears were as sad as I were but had enough courage to jump off from my eyes, dispersing on the cotton woven pillow.

Suicide.

It’s just another word for a petty escape of reality.

The easy way out.

You’re going to reincarnate anyways, why waste your life crying over something when you’re going to die anyways and find a new body to be reborn into.

My mind replayed the words over and over in my head. “Suicide.”

It was the easiest way out of problems.

The darkness seeped into my mind.

I woke up from my clouded thoughts and rose up from my spot on the wall.

I peered into our room a saw Jieun smiling, which made me smile, until I opened the door wider. Seeing her with Kai, talking, and laughing. Wishing to be anywhere else, where I had no worries.

What if I never met Jieun at all? I would be carrying on with my life as the most handsome player in the kingdom.

Would I feel less heartbroken.

But through all of those times I was flirting with so many other girls a hole welded into my small and selfish heart, like I was missing something or somebody.

Picking myself up with such the weak will I had, I paced out the door, meeting with the cool night air.

The stars gleamed in the sky with a luminous effulgence bordering them.

I glanced up into the night sky, examining the stars. I spotted 3 stars, the other 2 around the other, but one star was more distanced and away. Whereas the other star was closer to the other bright star shining between the two.

Instead of stars I saw Kai, Jieun, and I, one was losing, one was getting the girl.

And frankly, I was losing star.

We were the ones that loved one girl.

She used to love the other, now she’s discarded him and his ignorant heart. Recovering from her shattered heart with another guy whom she’s loved for the longest time.

Because of my own stubbornness and ignorance, I break too many hearts, and it’s become a part of me. By breaking Jieun’s heart, I broke my own heart.

Taking in the sight of the 3 stars again I heaved a big sigh, dropping my body to the dirt ground.

I never thought actually caring would hurt so much, how can normal people do this? It’s just a heartache.

I trembled from the cold winds brushing by me.

The feelings I had at the moment made me want to just forget, forget it all, or leave it, as it leaves me.

I picked myself up and swept the dirt out of my hair, trudging back into the room, where Jieun and Kai was casually touching hands while laughing.

A hole buried its self in my heart as I clutched my chest.

Feeling a parasite eating it’s was in my heart, but the parasites were nothing but broken memories.

I tried to walk into the room without exploding but fail to keep my foot in the door.

What if I ended it all here?

Storming off into the kitchen and unwrapped the cutting knife from its silk red covering.

*A knife can just end it all, all of it. Including me.*

Shakily grabbing a loose hold on the medium sized knife, examining it in every corner.

Rethinking my thoughts I took a deep breath and raised the knife higher to the level of my arm.

*I will end all of my suffering, at this moment. Unless I want to live my life knowing that I missed my chance of marrying the girl I wanted to be with.*

I was so scared to acctually do it I dropped the blade a few times before I grasped it's handel once again.

As I've been told I'm stubborn, self centered, and selfish.

And as a stubborn and self centered person I don't want to live another moment with out her by my side.

Being the selfish person I know I wanted Jieun with me, not him. She had to be mine, not his. But she was his, and not mine. That was the fact I despised the most.

Not being with my soul mate was enough of a reason to plead for death.

I opened a cut on my left wrist and sat at the dinner table, closing my eyes so I couldn’t see my own blood dropping, I could feel an enormous amount of pain directed into my wrist. I was starting to feel dizzy and it became harder to keep my eyes open, I gritted my teeth because of the pain. Until it ended and I did feel anything anymore. My eyes were closed shut and I felt as if I was falling into a deep sleep, and my head feel on the bloody table.

*This is the absolute end for me.* was my last thought before I was out cold.