100 days and a Heartbreak

The Psychopath

Her heart sank. Her emotions were a jumbled mess; mixture of anger, confusion and dissapoinment coursed throughout her body, shrouding her mind like thick vines creeping up a dirty wall. Her mind went blank and she felt like throwing up. She was unsure if the figure in front of her was real or her mind was just playing tricks on her.

*I'm not hallucinating, am I? Why would Kai be here? Ahhh I'm missing him too much that I'm seeing him everywhere." She assured herself in her mind.

She squeezed her eyes shut momentarily, clearing all the thoughts that's crowding in her head. She opened them tentatively and looked at her sister's grave. From the corner of her eyes, she could still see the 'figure of Kai' but she decided to ignore it and believed that it was just her hallucination.

Or so she thought.

Breathing out, she walked over to her sister's grave and crouched down. She placed the bouquet of lilies by the miniature angel statue that was staring right back at her.

"Unnie.....I-I'm here..your sister Se Ri is here.." she began in a raspy voice. She stared at her sister's name engraved on the tombstone which was beginning to lose its white. She felt sad and wanted to cry but strangely, the tears won't comply with her.

Silence. Only the sound of wind rustling the leaves and her faint heartbeat was heard. Other than that, nothing.

"It's been 100 days since you've gone...I-I've been missing......you...." Her heart felt like an anchor plunging deep into the sea. "I brought your favorite lilies today. I understand why you love them now. I'm sorry that I came alone today....Yeol wanted to come but because it's Ajhusshi's birthday today so he couldn't make it..I hope you can find a place in your heart to forgive him....I know you will...that's how special you are...so forgiving and kind..." she smiled weakly, her fingers subconsciously tracing the carvings of Saejin's name on the tombstone. "And..Kai...."

That name made her heart crumble. Her voice hitched in . A sob threathened to escape.

"And Kai...I told you about him before didn't I? We're together now....I really wanted to introduce him to you today but...he couldn't make it too....he said...he had something important to do...." a tear rolled down her cheeks without her realising. She wiped it off and chuckled weakly, "....it's funny...I think I miss him a lot that I'm seeing him everywhere these days. I'm even seeing him here..." she pointed enthusiastically at the  cemetery ground. "....I-I mean, why would he be here right? W-Why would he be standing in front of your grave? It's not like he knows you or..or...you had something with him in the past right? It's not like you were in a relationship with him before you died right? This is all me hallucinating right?" And she broke down. Tears streamed down her face in a huge mass. She couldn't stop her heart from reacting this way. Her sobs turned into a bawl. She knew Kai was there, she knew he was real but she didn't want to accept the fact.

"Tell me unnie! Tell me I'm dreaming!" she cried out.

The shuffling of shoes behind her was heard. Not long after that, she felt arms embracing her from behind.

"Se Ri-ah." Kai buried his face in her hair. 

They stayed that way for sometime as Se Ri cried her heart out.

-----------

"You knew I was her sister?"

Kai shook his head a little then he paused and thought for a second before nodding his head.

They had left the cemetery a while ago and went to the playground that held memories for both Se Ri and Saejin. She had texted Chanyeol that she wouldn't be coming to his dad's birthday with the excuse that she doesn't feel well. Cliche as it sounds, but she indeed isn't feeling too well.....emotionally.

"i don't understand, Kai. Don't just nod and shake your head. I need you to talk." she stated, trying not to sound harsh.

Kai sighed. "I didn't know at first...." he looked up at the sky. He squinted his eyes a little trying to adjust them to the sunlight. Se Ri look at him with tears b in her eyes.

".....You walked past me the first time in front of the cafe that we usually go to. It was 3 days after her death. I was taken aback, I thought it was.....her.." he took a wary glance at her before looking away, "..but I knew, she's....gone....

"So.....that's why you kept calling me Saejin?"

Kai nodded.

"Because I'm the replica of her.." she stated with distant eyes.

"Yes and no. You look like her, but you're different from her...she's very reserved and quiet, but you're so bright and cheerful...but I got carried away into thinking that you were her...I gave in to my selfishness. I'm sorry, Se Ri..." he rested his elbows on his knees and covered his face with both his hands.

Saejin was silent. Kai had finally revealed the history between him and Saejin.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't tell before...I-I was afraid of losing....Sae-" he stopped before he could finish. He looked down nervously at his shoes.

"What Kai? You're afraid of losing Saejin again?" she finished for him as she look at him. Kai met her eyes and instantly saw the hurt in them.
"I can't believe I was being used all along....." she covered with her hands to stop the ugly sobs that she was about to have. She blinked her tears away but it kept trickling down her face.

Kai reached out to her and turned her shoulders to face him. He cupped her cheeks with his hands and stared right into her teary eyes. Se Ri didn't fight him but she avoided his gaze.

"Look at me." Kai demanded. When she didn't listen, Kai's voice turned into a growl. "Look at me Se Ri."
Her eyes shifted to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. But I need you to help me..." Kai said to her.
She was quiet for a moment, "H-help?"
"Help me forget her. I want to love you for you. I want to love you, Se Ri. I really do. Please give me one more chance." Kai said searching her face, almost like he's begging.

How could she deny a request from the person she loved the most?

Right at that moment, her phone rang. She pulled back and fished her phone out from her bag.
It was Chanyeol.

She was about to answer the call when Kai grabbed hold of her phone and decline the incoming call. Se Ri didn't have the energy to argue with him. She felt like a big tree had collapse on top of her.
 

Her next question caught him off guard.

"Where were you when she died?" Se Ri blurted out.

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Neonlights92
#1
Chapter 38: So sad it's over. But there a sequel ~
Neonlights92
#2
Chapter 34: Holy cow... He's so crazy!
Neonlights92
#3
Chapter 33: Now you know! Get the hell out of there!
Neonlights92
#4
Chapter 30: I hope he's not in any danger...
Neonlights92
#5
Chapter 28: Ooooh Zico ^^ Such a cutie
Neonlights92
#6
Chapter 20: That's what happens when you're too stubborn!
Neonlights92
#7
Chapter 18: What Chanyeol said was tough, but it's the truth. It had to be put out there so she'll finally realized what's going on....
Neonlights92
#8
Chapter 16: Don't give him a chance! He will never forget Saejin because he will see her in Seri! Don't fall for that BS!
Neonlights92
#9
Chapter 15: FINALLY!!! Her cluelessness was driving me crazy!