CHAPTER 6: TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE, ONE SAME DREAM

 [DARA’S POV]

Ahhhh... I hate boring days! It makees me remember him... my mind takes me back to the last time Minho and I tallked on the phone. And it still hurts... even if a month already passed since that happened, I can still feel my heart breaking by the thought of him... 

I looked outside my room window---*sigh~ it still feels like yesterday, when Minho stood there, beside that tree in front of our house, holding a bear and a bunch of red roses, as he professed to the whole world how much he loves me... I am still in disbelief that every effort he made just to get my heart---it's gone now... he just threw everything away... Every bit of my heart now feels suffocating! I still miss him despite what happened...

‘Snap out of it Dara!!! It doesn’t help… it only adds more pain, instead of taking it away!!! I need to do something.. I need to make myself busy!! Hmmm… what to do?? How about, cleaning the house to get him out of my mind??’  I went out of bed, tied my hair into a bun, planning to go downstairs.

                As I reached the living room, I turned off the DVD player which plays the song, ‘TURN IT UP’ (sung by this famous rapper, TOP). I grabbed the vacuum cleaner, turned the TV on, and started cleaning…

“YAH!! Noona! I was listening to my idol!!! Why did you turn it off?” my irritated brother yelled, who just came out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel on his waist.

“Well, I want to watch TV… So let’s just watch while I’m cleaning, arasso? Where is Bommie, by the way?”

“She went out early… said she’s going to find another ticket for me so I can come with you to the concert.” Seungri answered, as he wipes his hair with a small towel and went to the kitchen, looking for something to eat.

 “Huh? She didn’t even tell m--….” I wasn’t able to finish what I was saying, as my attention got caught on the television. It’s G-Dragon! Actually, I only heard about him from Bom. She said G-Dragon is also famous in L.A. Apparently, he got known for his fashion sense and his cool rapping and song writing skills…

“So, G-Dragon! Being a successful person in this early age… May I ask you, do you still have a dream that hasn’t been fulfilled yet? Everybody knows that you are one of the highest-paid artists here in Korea! So, what does a ‘G-Dragon’ still dream of having? Is there something that you still didn’t achieve?” Lee Hyori, a famous hostess, curiously asked G-Dragon who’s now guesting in her show.

“Uhmm, let’s put it this way… I’m still a normal person! Even though, gratefully, I’ve attained so much, mmm… I still have a certain dream that I badly want but, I still could not get.” G-Dragon timidly answered, as he nodded, bit his lower lip and smiled.

“And what must that be? I’m sure a lot of fans out there are now curious about what more does a famous bachelor like you still want in life! *CROWD SCREAMS* I mean, being famous and all, you must be contented with what you have now! Right?” Ms Hyori giggled and blushed as she asked another question…

“Well, of course us, artists, we don’t expect to be famous forever, right? I don’t want to rely on fame for the rest of my life because it’s just temporary! We may not know when our career will end, right? I’m just being practical... And also, being busy with my career, I never got the chance to achieve one certain dream… I haven’t found a person to spend my life with yet *chuckles* I mean, I know everyone here dreams of having a person who will love them for who they are right? *CROWD SCREAMS* in my case, I want a person who will accept me even when I’m not famous anymore, if you know what I mean…”  G-Dragon humbly replied, as he smiled, bowed his head, and raked his hair. The audience screamed even louder, and the hostess blushed when she clapped and complimented G-Dragon for his sincere answer.

“WHAT THE!?!! He’s doing it again! Making cute faces, and answering wittily?? HE’S JUST FOOLING HIS FANS! His speech always feels scripted! As if he practiced everything he will be saying just to gain people’s hearts! But, he can’t fool me…. *shakes head* Na-uh!! Tsssssss... What a fake!” Seungri shook his head, now annoyed by what he heard…

“Why are you so mad at him? You don’t even know the guy!! And you are acting as if he said something wrong!” I said while my eyebrows met and I pouted, confused at Ri’s reaction…

“Ooooooh... I know him well!!” Seungri’s eyes narrowed as he glanced at the man on TV. He then turned off the TV and played TOP’s CD, instead. He wore his t-shirt, sat back on the sofa and asked, “By the way…  If you’re going to be asked the same question, what would your answer be?? Huh, Noona?”

‘Wow… if anybody can hear my mind right now, they would realize how pathetic I am!! It’s just a simple question.. But I wasn’t able to answer! Gawd! I’m totally messed up.. My mind was focused only at Minho, that I almost forgot how to live without him!! What about me?? What was my dream before I met him?! What do I really want in life…?’ I thought as I pondered about my future…

                After I was done cleaning the house, Seungri went to the kitchen and offered to make dinner while I immediately went to my room, and wrote on my diary…

[Dara’s Diary]

                Hi tam-tami…! From now on, I’ve decided to call you tam-tam (Special credits to CL by the way… she’s the one who named you.. ^^) I’m sorry, I wasn’t able to write to you again… I got too busy these days…

                Anyway, as my brother and I watched a show on TV earlier, he asked me what my dream was!! Gosh! I feel so stupid! I wasn’t able to answer it! What’s wrong with me?! Actually; I do have a really simple dream, and that is--- to have someone who’ll love me until we get old, a man who will not leave me for another girl……

          But, I guess it will be impossible to come true now… especially in a world like this!! It’s as if, it is okay to cheat!! It’s just fine to hurt anybody just to be happy! No one is contented in this world I live in.. That’s why I find you so lucky tam-tami!! You don’t get to actually experience living in a sinful world like this…

          I suddenly thought about what I want in life.., you know, (in case I’ll be dying alone, getting old alone, or whatever!) I need to have, at least a purpose in this world… I don’t believe that dreams do come true anymore… so I’ll just set a goal for me to have a purpose…

Well, that man... G-Dragon? He is pretty lucky!!! He can swim in his pool of money.. He can do whatever he wants without worrying about how much everything costs! But unfortunately, we’re not on the same ‘boat’ when it comes to life… I couldn’t depend on our dad’s money forever… besides, I’m a licensed nurse! And I haven’t done anything to use that. It’s just a waste of my dad’s money, and my own efforts as well, if I will not even try to practice my destined career… this is bad! Come to think of it… I totally forgot about myself!! Supposedly, in my age, I should be working by now!!! Ughh… I really in life, huh?

          Uh-oh..., I think I have to end this chitchat now. I have to lock you… I think Bom’s here already…  If she sees me writing, she’ll just snatch you from me and read what I’ve been writing….

 So ‘till next time tam-tami… I’ll write to you as soon as I can!

Xoxo,

Dara…