Kibum`s POV

How long has it been? How long has it been for me to know this cruel reality, once again. Once again he is so cruel. Too cruel for my memories of him, God. Where you always like this? I asked myself as I closed my eyes. One teardrop balancing over my thin eyelashes. Does it want to jump too? Wanting to jump down and split into thousand drops of screaming misery.

There is no thing as time around me anymore. It doesn`t matter at all. Does it? I shouldn`t, as time is my only enemy right now. Stealing away my life span with each breath I take, with every breath I took from this oxygen mask. I felt so weak, so weak. Is this your punishment? Are you watching me right now? Watching me here, dying. Dying in such a miserable way.

How long will it take? How long will it take for my body to move into a state of endless sleep? I won`t see Jonghyun again. You will be that cruel, will you? I know you will. I wouldn`t mind, wouldn`t mind in that case. If I would be sure to see him again. But this hurts, it hurts so much. Knowing even death won`t be able to give me love.

I can hear it, can hear it clearly. It´s eating me up from inside out. This sickness. They say it´s already too late for me. Too late to help me properly. It could take me month, even weeks before it´s time. Time for me to go. Go and fall into endless darkness. Or would you give me life again. Let me live only to die again, again and again? And I would never be able to feel his love again. Never again.

Some time later, my mother said it were already weeks, I couldn`t even move anymore. Can`t move without feeling pain. The pain going through my bones, going through my pale skin. Now covered in blue colors. And I couldn`t sleep, but I was so tired, so tired. I wan