Jonghyun`s POV

Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into days and days turn into months. Months I couldn`t remember. What did I do in these months? Lost, I`m lost. Lost in thoughts of him and only him. Sometimes I did hear familiar voices, but I shrugged them off. Didn`t want to disturb these memories, these cruel and beautiful memories.

Lost in his smile and lost in his eyes. So lost I never wanted to return, return back to reality. This painful reality of him not being next to me. Sometimes though, there was something wet on my face. Was I crying? Crying again those sad tears, when waking up from bad dreams. Dreams of him leaving me, leaving forever.  

It hurt. It hurt so much I wanted to die. Wishing I could reach him somehow. Maybe my soul would fly to him. But this was only a wish that would never come true. I`m a sinful demon after all. But what if I just would vanish? Would the pain go away? Would his pain go away too? Or would his heart break into thousand pieces of ugly tears? Embracing him into darkness. This endless darkness of sorrow and pain.

It would destroy him. I just knew it. Wouldn`t it destroy me too, knowing he wasn’t in this world anymore? Maybe I would turn into ashes – like my heart would be the moment of knowing.

But for now, for now I would dream of him again. I would dream of me embracing him in my arms, holding him tight to my body. I never wa