Kibum`s POV

Walking seemed to get harder with every step I took away from you. Heavy weights grabbed onto my feet as I desperately tried to move them lightly from the cold ground. Will they go away someday? Will my heart be able to carry those weights too? The weights of loving you. How much I wanted to say yes. How much I wanted to be that strong.

Strong, to not break down under the weight. Strong, to face life without you. Strong, to fake a happy smile when in reality I`m not happy at all. I wanted to be strong for you too. And strong, to not hope you think of me every second too. So strong, to bear the pain of not holding you in my arms. Strong, to not dream of you every night.

But I`m not that strong. How could I, when every time I remember you I falter down again?  How could I, when I`m thinking of you all the time?

Eyes b with tears. Will they ever stop flowing? I will have to force them up again. Will have to force them away from curious eyes. Will have to force my feeling for you away from everyone’s sight. Will have to force even my memories away from time to time. So they won`t know, so they won`t find out.

Goodbye. Goodbye, because I won`t see you again soon. I chanted it in my mind as I walked through heavens doors again. Walked through these big bright doors. The darkness of the night protecting my soul. Whispering sweet lullabies so lovingly and crazy.